Fractured Ch. 11
A.N. It. Is. Official! 'Fractured' is now my number one story with the most faves, follows, and reviews! Thank you guys so much! :D
A.N. 2 the information that William tells Thomas, is things that my family has told me after what I did to myself. So, just recap, this is what I was told, so it might not be right for everyone else.
…
Even angels have their wicked schemes
And you take that to new extremes
But you'll always be my hero
Even though you've lost your mind ~Ariana Grande, Love the Way You Lie
…
"THOMAS IS DOING WHAT?!"
"Easy, Edward!" Gordon said harshly. "Yes! Thomas has…. Thomas is… hurting himself." He finished with a mumble. "I didn't see everything, since I didn't have a clear view into the Steamworks. But I saw him spin his wheels so fast they ended up sparking… and when he backed away from the set of buffers, his own were in awful shape."
James started hyperventilating. "We- we have to get to him. We have to get to my Thomas!"
Edward couldn't agree more. "Let's go everyone. And quickly!"
Jason and Derek ran and got into Gordons cab with Jeffery and Andrew, and Sir Topham Hatt and William got into Edward's cab. "Come on, everyone!" Gordon called. Then all the friends set off to the Steamworks, going as fast as their wheels would carry them.
"Is there anything else we should know?" William asked as they made their way through the island.
"Well…" Gordon thought. "I did hear him say he wanted to hurt, and when he was, that he liked it."
Edward felt himself crumble. "Oh no…"
When they reached the Steamworks, all the engines were panting and gasping. But they didn't even get a moment to catch their breath. Because they heard banging. Followed by screams of pain.
Thomas' screams.
"Thomas!" Edward cried out, and started moving forwards.
Immediately all five friends, drivers, Father, and controller raced into the Steamworks.
Thomas was on the other side of the Steamworks, ramming himself into a set of buffers.
Edward felt chills go through him. "Thomas!"
Immediately, Thomas stilled. And even though they couldn't see, they were sure Thomas' face held fear. Edward rushed into the Steamworks and waited until he was in Thomas' direction.
When he was, he coupled up to Thomas, who yelped in surprise. Edward started pulling Thomas away from the wall of the Steamworks, but Thomas tried protesting, putting on his brakes. But it was useless, since they did little due to wear and tear.
"Thomas." Edward said slowly, as he moved until he was in front of the younger engine. "Why… why would you do this?"
Thomas stared up at up his mentor, his vision distorted by tears. But when they cleared, he saw that Edward was near tears himself, and he couldn't handle it.
"I- I don't know!" Thomas cried. "I just… I don't know why!" He screamed as tears streamed down his face. "I was getting better… and I… reversed it." He whispered. "I… wanted to hurt, because I thought- it would make everything… better I guess."
"Did it?" Edward asked gently, his voice shaky, as he came as close as he could to the other.
"…No." Thomas sighed, blinking away tears and blowing the cloth away from his face. He winced when he felt workmen start repairing him. "I guess… I wasn't thinking straight… please… please, don't be mad at me. I'm sorry." He whimpered. "And please… stop- stop crying."
Edward sighed. "Promise me you won't do this again."
Thomas looked away. "No… I couldn't promise. But… I'll do my best to stop."
Edward let a tiny, shaky smile come to him. "And we'll be here to help you stop."
…
The rest of the day was spent trying to fix Thomas. But with each touch, Thomas would cry out in pain. Only then, did he realise that he was wrong. He didn't want to hurt. Not this bad, anyways.
"Oh…" The little engine whimpered. "I was so foolish…"
William sighed as he got up from his crouched position in front of his engine. "I… cannot deny that, Thomas." He said after a moment, making Thomas bite his lip in shame. "But, you were also misguided."
"Misguided..?" Thomas asked slowly.
"Yes." William said. "You see, people who tend to self-harm are led by the thought that if they hurt themselves, it will make them feel better. And some people, though not all, can become numb. And they think the only way to feel again, is through pain. You were just misguided, Thomas." He explained. "But now… we can help you get on the right track, so to speak." William chuckled quietly. "And stop you from doing it again."
Thomas looked away, deep in thought, before he smiled ever so slightly. "I… I suppose you're right. Thank you Father- OH!" But he was completely taken aback when he let his gaze return in front of him.
His buffers were already halfway repaired. "H-How…?"
William smirked, and wiggled his fingers in a tickling motion. "I made you. I know what needs to be done."
Thomas gave a weak chuckle. "R-Right…" He looked away from his Father's gaze once again, and back to the set of buffers. Then he looked down, and started to slowly move backwards to press himself against the wall. He was going to spin his wheels, but he felt a firm hand on his buffers.
"Thomas…" William said slowly. "No."
"But I…"
"Don't need to do this." William interjected. "I don't know why you're like this now, and I know that neither do you. But we will help you."
Thomas looked at him, his eyes filled with fear. Not because of him, but just in general. "How…?"
"I will keep someone with you." William explained. "Most likely Jason and Derek. They will watch you, and make sure you keep safe."
"I don't need someone to watch me, though…" Thomas protested.
William sighed. "I'm sorry, Thomas. But at this moment, you've proven to me that you can't be safe on your own. And until you can prove otherwise, this is how it's going to be."
Thomas looked down. "Yes, Father…"
"Don't lose hope, little one." William said, as he traced soothing circles on Thomas' buffer beam. "Everything will be alright."
The blue engine looked to his Father, before sighing shakily. "I trust you."
William smiled. "I'm glad."
A whistle then broke the comforting silence. Instantly, Thomas' breath hitched.
As expected, Gordon came into the Steamworks. But Thomas noticed something different about him. He didn't have that smug attitude or confident smirk. Instead he wore a large frown, something that still wasn't all uncommon, but still strange to see. However, he did look rather somber and… sad.
When he made eye contact with Thomas, the smaller engine immediately felt nervous and smaller than he already was.
"Thomas." Gordon greeted quietly.
Confused, but not wanting to be rude, Thomas returned the greeting. "Gordon."
Building up his courage, Thomas took a deep breath. "Is… is something troubling you?"
Gordon sighed. "Of course there is! It's-" But he stopped himself, seeing as how Thomas looked like he was about to cry. He must've scared the younger. "I mean… yes, there is. And it's you."
Thomas gasped. "What…?"
"What I've done to you, I mean."
Thomas sighed. "Forget it, Gordon." He said quickly. "It's in the past. It's done. I-"
"I can't forget this." Gordon interrupted firmly but gently. "Thomas. I hurt you. I broke you. And you've spiraled, well, because of me."
"No, it's not-"
"Say what you will." Gordon interrupted again. "But no matter how much you deny it, all your problems, still root back to me." He said. "I shouldn't… have done this. I should have slowed down and stopped when you asked or never have done this in the first place. It's my fault."
Thomas stared at him with wide eyes. William smiled, and quietly backed away to let the two talk more privately.
"I just… hope you can… forgive me." Gordon grumbled quietly, while looking away.
"I do."
Now it was Gordon's turn to stare at Thomas. "Just- just like that?! You'll forgive so quickly?!"
Thomas smiled a bit. "I… find it difficult. To hold grudges. This- this is a harsh lesson, that both you and I can learn from. Something both you and I can grow from."
"I was just as irrational as you were when I decided that pain was the best option." Thomas said quietly. "Now, I know it's not. Just as you know now to think before deciding revenge. I'll have to be watched now… but Father says it's for the best. Now, like I said before, both you and I can learn for this."
Gordon sighed in relief.
"Besides, I don't want to be overwhelmed with flashbacks and nightmares, just because I'm too afraid to face you." The smaller engine explained.
"So… you do, forgive me." Gordon said.
"On one condition."
"What's that…?"
"You have to forgive me."
Gordon was stunned. "Why… why should I forgive you? You didn't do anything."
"In a way… yes, I did." Thomas said. "The whole reason you decided to pull me with the Express in the first place was because I kept waking you up with my whistle. If I hadn't done that, and actually listened to Edward, none of this would have happened."
"So." Thomas continued. "I'll forgive you… if you forgive me."
Gordon stared at him, still in shock. But slowly, he smiled. "Very well. I... forgive you, Thomas."
"And I forgive you."
…
Just outside the Steamworks, Edward, Henry, James, Toby, the drivers and firemen all stood. Their eyes were wide, and their mouth were open.
But one by one, they all smiled. Gordon had finally apologised, and so had Thomas. And they had forgiven each other.
It was known now of what Thomas had done to himself. Now hopefully, they could prevent it from happening again. He had found love, and he was getting repaired, now more than just physically.
Maybe… just maybe, they were almost there.
