Chapter 11

Sakura stared at the hospital wall in silence for a good five minutes before the clicking of Tsunade's heels echoed down the hallway, announcing her arrival. But seeing Tsunade's face, and hearing her lecture about proper behavior as a medic, was that last thing she wanted to do. Without thinking, she leapt up from the bed and yanked open the window, greeted with a blast of cool air. She hopped onto the ledge and quickly pumped chakra to her feet, running fearlessly down the hospital wall.

She had never run from Tsunade before. She didn't even really know why she was doing it now. But she did know that her old mentor would never give her the answers she wanted. Sakura would have to find out for herself, even if it meant going behind the Hokage's back.

Landing with a thud down on the empty dirt road, Sakura ran around the hospital corner, out of sight if Tsunade looked out the window for her. Adrenaline rushed through her body from the thrill of sneaking out like this. She leaned against the cold wall to catch her breath and risked a peek around the corner, but no one seemed to be looking for her.

She glanced up at the Hokage's Tower, surrounded by an ominous gray sky, and gathered her thoughts. In that tower, inside Tsunade's office, would be the papers that had spilled out of Sasuke's bag when he was let back into the village. They must have been important, and if only she could get to them, she might understand Sasuke's return. She might even discover his connection with Pein. On the other hand . . .

"Pein," she whispered, looking down the road towards the prison. She had to tell him of his fate as soon as possible. She would have to get into that room and beg him to give up just enough information for Ibiki to let him live a bit longer. Even if it meant lying to the interrogator, he would have to say something to remain useful to Ibiki.

For a moment, she stood rooted to the ground, not sure which path to take. Should she try to break into Tsunade's office while she knew the woman was in the hospital, or go directly to Pein to warn him of his impending death?

Pein had only one more session before he would be killed. But she might not get a better chance to gain access to those papers. Whichever choice she made, she couldn't help but feel like she was betraying Tsunade for even considering this. There were so many doubts and worries flooding her mind, she felt like she was bound hand and foot.

The wind abruptly picked up and she tore off towards the prison.

x

"Kakashi," Sakura called out to the man standing slouched outside the interrogation room door. He glanced up and smiled as she slowed to a stop.

"You seem to be in a hurry," he said, snapping shut his ever-present porno. "What happened to you earlier? I found you passed out when I took my shift. Good thing I thought to check in on you."

"Eh," she scratched her head. "I was just healing Pein and I guess I pushed myself too hard. He was in really bad shape, though. I don't think I've ever healed anyone in that state before – I really thought I could heal him completely. Oh, but thank you so much for helping me, I really appreciate it."

Kakashi was silent for a moment. He looked at her with a narrowed eye and tucked his book into his pocket. "Yeah, no problem, Sakura. That was brave of you to go so far to do your job. But I do have one question. Didn't you see the clipboard on the table, the one that said not to heal him today?"

Sakura swore her jaw hit the floor.

"Uh . . . The – the clipboard?"

"Yup."

"I must have been distracted, I didn't see it."

"It was right on the desk, where it's always been."

"I didn't look for it, I just saw him in that condition and –"

"And you dropped all protocol to follow your feelings?"

"Ye – No! I just –"

"Sakura, I'm disappointed. All those years I've trained you to follow the rules of a shinobi apparently didn't sink in. This isn't right."

His eye gave away what he didn't have to say. He knew how she felt about Pein. But his quiet disapproval was worse than any insult he could throw at her. Kakashi was like that; he never had to raise his voice to earn respect. When he trained Naruto, Sasuke and her as Team 7, he never had to yell at them during their training. Simply letting down their sensei had been worse punishment for them than anything else.

Even years later, he still had the power to make Sakura feel sick with guilt.

"Kakashi . . ." She looked down, unable to meet his gaze. She knew she was wrong for loving Pein. She knew he would probably be killed soon. But right now, she knew she had a chance to save him.

Swallowing hard, she forced herself to look at him.

". . . I'm here to give Pein his dose. I never got the chance to before."

"It's taken care of. Ibiki popped in here and administered the shot."

She felt her lip start to quiver. That dose was her only excuse to get inside to see him, to save him. Her throat tightened as she fought back hot tears.

"Please, Kakashi . . . this might be the last time . . . and I want to see him once more. I just need to say goodbye, please understand." Her fists clenched as she realized that it might be the truth. She really might have to say goodbye.

His expression softened and he sighed at her. "I'll give you ten minutes, Sakura, that's all. Say what you want and leave."

She nodded and gripped the doorknob. Pausing, she said quietly, "Thank you, Kakashi," and stepped in.

One look into Pein's eyes and she ran to him, throwing her arms over his shoulders in a sloppy hug. His body was warm, and his face fit so perfectly next to hers. Her hand ran through his soft orange hair and she breathed in his comforting smell.

Pein sat still while she held him, silently allowing her tears to dampen their cheeks. She had no idea what he was thinking, but he didn't flinch, nor did he tell her to stop.

I don't ever want to let go.

Her fingers roamed over his jaw line and grazed his ear, feeling each cold metal stud. She sniffled and pulled away just enough to look at his face and raised her hand to touch his cheek.

He looked into her eyes with an unfamiliar, almost gentle expression on his face. Maybe he was glad to see her. She lowered her fingers to skim his soft lips, which parted upon contact.

"Princess . . ." His voice was low, almost a whisper.

Sakura used her other hand to wipe her eyes dry. How do you tell someone they're going to be killed?

"I'm happy you're okay. You really gave me a scare when you passed out earlier."

She forced a half-smile. "How long was I out for?"

"Just twenty minutes," he smirked, "I would have helped but, you know, paralyzed, in a sound-proof room, I couldn't do much. But hey, you're very cute when you're unconscious."

"Pein, I don't have time for this. There's something I have to tell you."

"Oh, you didn't just stop in to say hello?" He faked a sad face.

"Listen," she said solemnly, "You have to tell Ibiki something. I overheard that you aren't giving away any information."

"That's right."

"Why not?"

"Eh, I have no reason to."

"But Pein! They'll keep you alive if you do it!"

He stared at her for a moment. "I'm sorry, Sakura, I won't disclose anything to my enemies."

She leapt up. "But you have to, you're worth nothing to them if you're not!"

"I won't give your village any information on my group."

"Then lie! Tell them something, anything to let you live!"

The room was silent as she comprehended what she had just said.

"You're telling me," he said slowly, "to lie to your own village, give them false information, just to keep me alive?"

"Yes." She knelt down and touched his hand. Sighing in resignation, she put her forehead on his forearm. She had to tell him how she felt. Not looking at him would make this easier.

"Pein . . . I don't understand this."

"Understand what?"

"I – I don't understand how you've become the most important thing in my life. You've changed me completely, and I don't want to lose you. I'd do anything for you. Please, please Pein, say what you have to, to stay here with me."

Sakura waited for a response for what seemed like an eternity. She admitted to herself that she was afraid to meet his gaze for fear of rejection. Old memories flashed before her eyes, of a younger version of herself professing her love to Sasuke, and him always maliciously refusing her. Was she fated to go through the same pain, despite her growth? This was the first time she opened her heart to anyone after Sasuke . . . It was hard enough to go on without that boy, but without Pein . . . it hurt too much to think of him refusing her and then allowing himself to be killed. Even if he rejected her in the worst way, she still would never want him to die.

He finally spoke, his voice not betraying any emotion.

"You said I'm important to you?"

She nodded, her forehead still pressed to him arm. If you're going to reject me, do it quickly.

"Look at me." She obeyed, and had to fight back a new surge of tears. His face was sincere as he spoke.

"Sakura, please don't say those things to me. If this were a different world, if we were different people, I might have let myself care for you, return your love. But where we are, and who we are . . . I can't let that happen. It makes no sense. You're a medic, I'm a murderer . . . the irony doesn't escape me here. But understand, you have to let me go."

She put her hand to her mouth, to hold back a sob, or perhaps a scream. The tears rolled freely down her cheeks now. It really wasn't fair. Pein obviously had no intention of saving his own life. He didn't want her, he didn't even –

"Pein? You just said if things were different, you would love me?"

He smiled sadly. "Please stop crying, princess. Don't make things more complicated than they have to be."

She looked away. "It's too late for that."

Before he could respond, a sharp knock sounded from the door. It was Kakashi, reminding her of the ten minute mark. She didn't have much more time.

She turned anxiously back to him. "Tomorrow is your last chance. Please, Pein, stop being so stubborn. You'll be dead within a day if you don't open your damn mouth and tell them something!"

"I'm sorry, Sakura." He really did look it. But could he see it in her eyes, that her heart was breaking?

She reached out to touch his cheek and swiftly lowered her face to his. Her lips met his and she kissed him, the way she had wanted to from the very start. His breath was sweet and when her mouth parted just a bit, their tongues collided fervently. She threw all her anger, her passion, her torment into the kiss. Her hand ran down to his bare chest, and she could feel his heart beating quickly beneath her.

She pictured him out of that chair while they kissed, standing before her with his arms wrapped around her waist. If this were a different world, he had said, I might have let myself care for you, return your love.

She pulled away, ending a kiss that she didn't want to end. She wasn't ashamed of herself, and that fact that he had kissed her back gave her the courage to ask.

"Do you love me, Pein?"

His bright but sad eyes looked deep into hers. "Yes, Sakura, I love you. Goodbye."

The door opened as if on queue, and Kakashi stepped in.

Sakura saw in a blissful daze as he took her arm and pulled her gently out of the room. Her breath quickened as the image of Pein disappeared behind the closing door. And suddenly she was out in the hallway, and Kakashi was speaking to her.

". . . Now I want you to get out of here, Sakura, and don't give that man in there a second thought. Do you understand?"

She nodded, her mind miles away. He loved her. Pein actually said he loved her. And now she would never see him again. She looked up at Kakashi.

"I have to go back." She reached for the doorknob but Kakashi caught her arm.

"No. I'm sorry, Sakura," he said sternly, "you can't see him again. Please go home."

"But Kakashi, please –"

"I said go home, Sakura. Your job is done here."

She glared at him for a minute, resisting his firm hold on her arm. She knew it would be futile to try and get past him; he was far too strong for that. He had bent the rules once for her, and he wouldn't do it again.

She ripped her arm away and took a step back, hating him for taking her from her Pein. Without a word, she turned and left, walking out of the prison with a wave of hurt flooding over her.

There really was nothing left for her to do. Feeling particularly reckless, she headed to the Hokage's Tower, with every intention of breaking into Tsunade's office to see those secret papers. Because in them she might find Pein's connection to Sasuke, and maybe even a chance to save him.