I don't own Calvin, Hobbes, One Piece, or anyone/thing related. Bill Watterson owns Calvin and Hobbes, and Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece.
And from this chapter on, I will tell you this: Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Squee.
Yes, that's right! I got my self-esteem back and conquered my writer's block! Now, I bring you back...CALVIN AND THE DEVIL FRUIT!
Well, Calvin, Hobbes, and Susie were yelled at by Nami for blowing their cover, but once Susie kinda forced the explanation in, the Straw Hats knew who was really to blame; Renoke. This being said, Nami hoped to make Renoke pay when she got the chance.
In the meantime, Calvin had an idea. He started taking useless things from all over the ship; a damaged barrel with a lid, a crate, and an empty shampoo bottle. With them, he created something strange on the deck. This piqued the curiosity of Hobbes, Susie, Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Franky.
When they saw it, Hobbes asked, "Uh-oh. What is it?"
"A new time machine!" Calvin answered. "It should help me get back home."
"Hey, wait a minute, little bro!" Franky said, "How do you know that thing works right?"
"Geez!" Calvin sighed, very annoyed, "You doubting thomases always try to stunt scientific progress!"
"OK! OK! I'll stop! Geez!"
"Thank you!" Calvin then stepped into the machine. "C'mon, Hobbes! Susie!" He motioned them to get into the machine.
"Aw," Luffy whined, "you're leaving already!?"
"Well, I don't know how long my parents are gonna be gone," Calvin replied, "so I gotta get back soon, don't I? Besides, I wanna see the look on my parents faces when they see Hobbes now!"
"A-HEM!" Susie coughed.
Calvin rolled his eyes. "Uh, and Susie's parents are gonna be back soon, too. Don't worry, though, I'll drop by here sometimes!"
Luffy smiled. "Well, then, until next time!"
Each group bid the other good-bye, and Calvin, Hobbes, and Susie went inside the machine. Calvin closed the door (the lid for the barrel) and walked over to a switch (the shampoo bottle) he then flipped. There were three words written next to the switch: "One Piece", "Home", "JHTM" (in that order). Calvin knew he would write more later on.
He walked over to Hobbes and Susie. "OK," he said, "if anyone asks, we were all playing in the park."
"Got it," Hobbes and Susie said together.
"Good, now put on these goggles."
Then, a small orb of light appeared among the three. Then it got bigger... and bigger... and bigger... and BIGGER! Soon, it enveloped the group, then the machine, then (and this was unexpected by all) the Straw Hats! And then...
ZAP!
...the Sunny was empty. All alone at sea.
Anchors weighed, fortunately.
Meanwhile, on Earth, somewhere in America, in a shabby little town...
'F---... I need a brain freezy,' thought a man in his early 20s, sitting at a cafe table.
Now this was no ordinary man. In fact, it's difficult to say he's human without him getting mad at you.
What did he look like? Well, he was very tall and built like a spider! He was THAT thin! Also, in place of hair, he had two black, horn-like protrusions coming out of his head. He had sharp claws and large eyes with tiny pupils (if he had irises, no one could see them). He had a marking under each eye that looked like a zig-zag line. The clothing he wore was very dark and gothic; a VERY dark red pinstripe shirt with tails like an old coat, long black jeans (he had someone make them for him), and steel-tipped boots that made their owner look like he had talons! Who was this man?
His name was Johnny C, though he liked to be called "Nny".
He was known for being...a homicidal maniac.
At the moment, Johnny was bored out of his mind. He had absolutely NOTHING to do. He already played with his little friend, Todd (though he liked to call him "Squee"), and even torturing or killing victims didn't excite him. This must be serious, thought Johnny. He figured it was the depression coming back to him. He's just not gotten over Devi, his former girlfriend, the only one that could put a normal smile on his face and not a maniacal grin. Ever since "that day", he has regretted attacking her to "immortalize the moment".
Johnny got up to get his only source of nourishment--a brain freezy--but when he got near the counter, something weird happened!
ZAP!
Johnny looked over in the direction of the noise, and saw a most unusual sight! A large...something-or-other made of a broken barrel and crate, and there seemed to be 9 very confused-looking people standing in front of it and looking around. And someone was coming out of the huge whatever-it-is. Three words came to Johnny's mind now.
'What the h---?'
"HERE WE ARE!" Calvin shouted triumphantly, stepping out of the machine with his travel-partners, "HOME SWEET-- Uh..."
Now Calvin saw they were not home. They were in a strange, rather shabby-looking town, and there were people staring at them. Calvin looked around nervously, then tried to smile.
"Uh, we come in peace?" was all he could think of to say.
"AAAAAAGH!"
Everyone that had been staring panicked and ran away!
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha! These people sure are jumpy!"
Calvin's eyes opened wide when he heard the voice. The other two reacted the same way. No! It couldn't be! Calvin ran around to the other side of the machine with Hobbes and Susie, and, as he feared, he was right! The Straw Hat Pirates had been warped to this world with him, wherever this world was!
The Straw Hats noticed Calvin. "Oi, Calvin!" Luffy said, flashing his usual grin, "I like your home! The people here are hilarious!"
"Uh, thanks, Luffy," Calvin said, "but there's just one problem with that. THIS IS NOT MY HOME!"
Luffy's smile disappeared. "Ah? Really? Where are we?"
"I'll check!" Calvin answered, running back into the machine. Then, "OH NO! I FLIPPED THE SWITCH TOO LOW!" He ran out of the machine, looking very frightened. "Guys, we're not home! We're in a different place! A dangerous neighborhood!"
"AAH!" Chopper screamed, "Really!? Where is it!?"
"I don't know the name of the town," Calvin answered, "But we gotta get outta here before--"
Crash! Calvin stopped, then slowly turned around. Oh no. The Time Machine fell apart! They couldn't get home!
Johnny didn't pay attention to the machine's destruction. He was too busy studying the strange group of people: 'Let's see,' he thought, 'there's a small, blond-headed kid with beady eyes, a chestnut-headed girl with the same kind of eyes, a tiger standing on its hind legs (Johnny has seen strange stuff before, so this was no surprise to him), a tall, lanky kid wearing a straw hat, a muscular guy with short, green hair, a young lady with orange hair, a weak-looking guy with a long nose and curly black hair, a blond-headed smoker with bangs covering his left eye, a cute little raccoon-looking thing with antlers sticking out of a pink hat, a tall woman with long, black hair, a blue-haired guy wearing hardly anything (g------, that's ugly), and a skeleton with an afro-- WAIT, A SKELETON!?'
Nny quickly looked over at the supposed skeleton, but now he couldn't see what he looked like. The guy had quickly put on a cloak.
'WHAT IS THAT GUY HIDING!?' Johnny screamed in his head! Nny quickly shook his head, trying to calm himself down. Maybe... Maybe it was just...a hallucination! 'Yeah,' he thought, 'that's it! I'm imagining things again! ...I'm pretty funny...'
"So now what?" asked Zoro.
"Working on it," Calvin said, "...OK. I think we're gonna hafta go look for things no one's using. Big things! Then I'll construct another time machine and get us all back to our rightful homes! It's brilliant!"
"Yeah, well, let's hope we can get that done before something else happens!" said Franky.
"A-Are we gonna be OK?" Chopper asked, his eyes watering a little from fear. Susie looked at the little reindeer-boy with sympathy.
"Hey, don't worry, Chopper!" Usopp said, striking a pose, "Captain Usopp-sama will protect you!" But then he heard a cat in a back alley and jumped.
"Just come with me!" Calvin said, quite annoyed, "I think I know where to go. I can see a house over there!" He then pointed at a small, traditional-looking house. Everyone followed Calvin. They DID, after all, want to get home.
Johnny saw where they were going, and he recognized the house. It belonged to the self-proclaimed "lil' devil", Pepito, and guess who was hiding out in that house?
Nny's little friend, Squee!
Johnny decided to follow these weirdos. Find out who they were, what they were doing here, what that now-broken thing was, and why they were going to Pepito's. So, as quietly as he could, he snuck through the back alleyways, out of sight of our heroes...
