Chapter 11:

Darcy's London home was exquisite. Elizabeth had heard Miss Bingley's praises about Pemberley, and now after seeing his townhouse, she could quite believe that they must be true. She thought that once they arrived she would be too tired to take in much of anything, but it was all just so splendid she couldn't tear her eyes away.

Mrs Annesley once again retired to her room immediately after they arrived. She requested Mr Darcy's housekeeper, Mrs Croft, to have a bowl of soup sent up to her room as her supper. Georgiana was still complaining of a headache, which although made worse by the shaking of the carriage, she claims had begun during her Aunts funeral service, (a long drawn out affair despite the few attendees). She too retired to her chambers requesting soup and solitude.

Darcy's butler and several of his footmen were in the process of carrying the immobile Mr Collins upstairs to one of the guest suites, and Mrs Croft was distractedly trying to organise all of the trucks to be brought up to the correct rooms. As a result, Elizabeth was left standing in the entrance hall admiring all she saw and feeling rather lost.

It was while she was waiting for the bustle to die down that Mr Darcy entered the house. He of course immediately noticed her standing to one side, so that she wouldn't be in the way of the footmen, and hastened over to her side.

"Mrs Collins, pray where are my sister and Mrs Annesley that you are left here all alone?" he enquired.

"Please do not be angry with them sir, they are both feeling decidedly poorly after the journey and I bid them retire to their rooms as soon as we arrived. I'm sure your housekeeper will see to my needs as soon as she has discharged her other errands."

"Well until then Miss Elizabeth, may I invite you into the drawing room for a glass of sherry, to revive you?"

"Thank you Mr Darcy, I profess I am in earnest need of reviving."

After a few tense minutes while they silently sipped their wine, Mrs Croft arrived to show Elizabeth to her room, so that she could refresh herself before supper. Realising that it would only be her and Mr Darcy that would be sitting down to supper, Elizabeth politely requested that a tray be sent up to her room instead. She would rather have joined Mr Darcy in the dining room but she knew that eating alone with an unmarried man, in his house, was not proper, and so she consigned herself to her chambers for the night, though she didn't believe she would get much rest.

Darcy's cook was decidedly put out, after all the effort he had gone to, his food was either rejected forthright or dispatched on trays, only to return looking much as it had done when it left the kitchen.

The following morning brought two much sought after visitors. The first came in the form of Jane. Elizabeth had written to her sister shortly before her departure from Kent, informing her of her plans and the reasons behind them. Jane, bitterly distressed by the news, had luckily only had to suffer for one night and had made sure that she set out to Grosvenor Square as soon as she felt her sister would be awake. So prompt was she that she arrived midway through breakfast and as such was announced in the dining room.

"Miss Bennet! What a pleasant surprise. Will you not join us for some breakfast?" announced Mr Darcy as he stood up to welcome their guest.

Curtsying Miss Bennet replied; "Thank you Mr Darcy, but I do not wish to further disrupt your meal, I only wanted to speak with my sister. I believe she is staying here, is she not sir?"

"She is Miss Bennet. We arrived long after night fall last night and Mrs Collins seemed rather tired. It would appear that she has overslept this morning, but I requested my staff to leave her be that she may catch up on her much needed rest."

"Thank you Mr Darcy. From all that my sister has related in her letter to me, you have been a most kind and generous friend to her and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart." With these words she rushed forward and firmly clasped Mr Darcy's large hand in both of her own whilst bestowing on him her warmest smile.

Not at all used to such shows of emotion Darcy looked pleadingly towards his sister for assistance. Georgiana had recovered well during her nights repose and seeing her brother's distress at being thus thanked she couldn't hide a mischievous smirk.

"May I show you to her chamber Miss Bennet?" asked Georgiana, rising from her chair.

Jane was eager, but slightly unsure, as she looked around to see who had spoken, and her gaze came to rest on the form of the lovely Miss Darcy.

"May I introduce my sister to you Miss Bennet?" announced Darcy, thankful for Georgiana's propitious aid which meant Jane releasing his hand, though he was quite startled to see Georgiana taking the initiative to speak to a strange woman whom she had not even been introduced to.

"Oh, Miss Darcy, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance," responded Jane while making a polite curtsy. "I would be grateful if you could show me the way."

Georgiana instantly led her out of the room and up stairs to the door of Elizabeth's chamber. "I'm sure there is much you wish to discuss with your sister; I shall leave you, but please don't hesitate to ring for the housekeeper if there's anything you or Elizabeth may desire." And with that she curtsied again and departed just as Jane was gently rapping on Elizabeth's door.

Elizabeth had indeed overslept. Despite her exhaustion she had only fallen asleep well after three-o-clock that morning. When she heard the soft knocking at her chamber door she instantly started awake.

"Please come in," she shouted hoarsely, her throat dry. She quickly tried to straighten her hair and night gown, but as the door was pushed ajar and she saw the pale face of her favourite sister framed in the doorway, she let out a most unladylike cry of joy and bounded out of her bed and ran towards Jane. The two sisters embraced warmly before Jane in her solicitousness drew Elizabeth back inside the darkened room lest she be observed in her nightclothes.

Elizabeth ran across the room and opened the heavy brocade curtains and then begged Jane to join her on the window seat.

"Oh Jane! How I have wanted you." She exclaimed grabbing hold of Jane's hands causing her reticule to swing wildly on her wrist.

"Oh Lizzy, why didn't you send for me the instant it occurred? You know I would have come as soon I had packed a trunk!"

"That is precisely why I didn't send for you. Do you think I would be the one responsible in parting you from Mr Bingley?"

"Lizzy, do be serious! What you must have suffered," she admonished, returning the clasp that her sister had of her hands. "How does Mr Collins?"

"He has not improved. He made the journey to London tolerably enough and Mr Darcy assured me that he would send for his Doctor as soon as possible."

"Poor Mr Collins," uttered Jane, looking down at her sisters hands miserably. Elizabeth was sure she could even detect tears in her sister's eyes.

"Jane, though I would not wish my husband to suffer I fear I can not be as touched by his plight as you appear to be."

Jane looked scandalised by her sister's proclamation. "Lizzy! He is your husband!"

"In name only Jane. You know as well as I, I never cared for him when I married him; I assure you that four months in his constant company have only weakened the little regard that I did have for him. I know I was as much of a disappointment to him as he was to me. I believe that in the end he regretted our union more than I did!"

"But Lizzy, you cannot wish for him to die?"

"Of course not! I only sometimes wish that he may never wake up!" replied Elizabeth, blinking innocently up into her sister's face.

Jane didn't bother trying to reprimand her sister a second time but merely glared at her from underneath knit eyebrows. After Elizabeth decided, in the interests of sisterly affection, to stop tormenting her elder sibling and changed the subject, the two sisters spent the next hour blissfully chatting away about all that had occurred in their respective lives. Elizabeth had encouraged Jane to divulge every detail of her reunion with Mr Bingley. Likewise Jane eventually managed to get Elizabeth to relate to her all that happened in the four months since the two had last seen each other, (though Elizabeth pointedly left out the part about Mr Darcy being in love with her.)

Their cosy tête-à-tête was eventually interrupted when a young maid appeared to inform Elizabeth that Dr Ashforth had arrived, and wished to speak with her after he had finished examining Mr Collins.

Elizabeth bid Jane a heartfelt farewell and promised to call on her and her Aunt and Uncle in Gracechurch Street as soon as was possible. Once Jane had departed, Elizabeth hastily dressed and halfway through brushing her hair the maid reappeared to assist Elizabeth in her preparations.

"That's quite alright; I shall manage. You may return to your other duties, I wouldn't wish to keep you," said Elizabeth.

"If you please ma'am, Mrs Croft hired me on Mr Darcy's say so; that I am to be your maid and see to all your needs," entreated the maid, bobbing a curtsy and bowing her little round head as she spoke.

Elizabeth didn't have the energy to argue and as such let the poor girl continue. She was touched that Mr Darcy would have instructed the housekeeper to engage a servant simply to wait on her hand and foot, but also noted that it was just like him to arrange things as he saw fit without asking her first. She shook her head and smiled wistfully as she thought that previously she would have just seen it as further evidence of his high handedness, but now she knew he did it only to see to her comfort because he cared so much.

After she was finished her toilette she went down stairs to Mr Darcy's study where she had requested her maid to direct Dr Ashforth as soon as he was ready to speak with her. She didn't have to wait very long before being joined by the distinguished Doctor.

"Mrs Collins, I presume?" He was a fairly short, plump, little middle-aged man, whose thinning hair had been slicked flat across his flushed scalp, and who possessed sharp steely eyes and stony countenance.

"Yes Dr Ashforth, it is a pleasure. How do you find my husband sir?"

"He is much as I expected to find him Ma'am; though I have not given up hope. There are some more recent techniques and remedies which I am eager to try and which I feel may be of benefit."

"So he could still recover his senses?" she asked hesitantly.

"I wouldn't wish to encourage you to hope Mrs Collins. The treatment I wish to pursue is not yet widely tested and the documented results have been erratic to say the least, but it is the best hope we have, and must pray that it will help."

"I understand Doctor. Thank you for your kind attention." With that, she curtsied, bidding him good day.

"I beg your pardon Mrs Collins, but I did not request to speak with you merely to discuss your husband's well being. Mr Darcy particularly requested me to see to you before I left. He appears to be concerned for your health Madam; and I must say that looking at your rather wan and lachrymose features I can see why. I think I shall prescribe a sedative Mrs Collins, which should assist you in getting some much needed rest."

Elizabeth was slightly taken aback by the doctor's words. "That is not necessary Dr Ashforth. It has been a trying few days, but now that I know my husband is in such good hands I feel much more at ease already. I feel certain that my spirits shall recover and my sleep return in full measure."

"Well Mrs Collins," harrumphed the good doctor, "I shall return tomorrow to begin your husband's treatment. Should you change your mind I shall give you the sedative then. Good day to you Ma'am." And with a sharp bow he turned and left the room.

Elizabeth felt tired, it was true. She hadn't slept well ever since Mr Darcy professed his love for her; and as the days wore on her behaviour to him on the fateful day had continued to eat away at her.

She had been standing before the fire, lost in idle thought, when she heard the door open and turning saw Mr Darcy halt on the threshold.

"Miss Elizabeth, I beg your pardon. I didn't wish to interrupt your solitary reverie. I was looking for a document I left in my bureau, but I shall look for it another time." He made to close the door again but Elizabeth stopped him.

"Please don't go Mr Darcy. I fear to be left alone with my own thoughts these days. They bring me nothing but misery." She turned her head away as she said it so that he couldn't quite see the look of sadness that stole across her face, but he didn't need to. The tone of her voice was enough to pull at his hearts strings and he found himself irresistibly drawn into the room towards her.

"Miss Elizabeth, are you unwell? Did Dr Ashforth not have good news for you? I thought I understood from that worthy gentleman that there was still hope of..."

"No, it isn't that Mr Darcy. Thank you for your concern; for my husband's well being as well as my own." She gave him a knowing look and a weak smile to show that she bore him no ill will for his kindly interference. She was touched by his concern, now that she understood it for what it was, though she felt she little deserved anything of the kind from him.

"Then what has you looking so pale Miss Elizabeth? Not bad news from your sister I trust? I had understood from Bingley that the two of them are entirely reconciled, and I believe he is eager to make her an offer as soon as your father's consent may be gained."

"That is truly wonderful news Mr Darcy! Thank you for sharing it with me; it has brightened my day considerably," she said beaming at him. By now he had walked across the room to join her before the fire. As he got closer she once again tried to hide her face, she knew that the gentleman was able to read too much in her unguarded visage, but this he wasn't able to tolerate; he gently extended his fingers towards her soft cheek and by the slightest hint of pressure forced her to look into his face.

"If not that, then what is the matter Elizabeth? Tell me." He asked it so gently, so reverently but there was a hint of a command in his tone, as if he would have the truth out of her one way or another.

"It is my own conscience, sir, that plagues me, and that is scarcely to be escaped from, no matter how hard I try."

"Your conscience? Pray forgive me, but what is it that you have done that eats so away at your conscience?"

"You are determined to think well of me Mr Darcy, and I am grateful for it. But I can not be so lenient with myself. The sad choices I have made in my short life have led me to this impasse, and now it is only right that I flagellate myself for them."

"No! There is nothing you have done which could deserve such self recrimination!" he shouted, grabbing her by her shoulders and turning her around to face him.

"Oh Mr Darcy, with friends like you one is entirely at risk of believing oneself to be without fault. But that, sadly, is so very far from the truth that, were it not so closely concerning me, would be almost laughable."

Before she could continue, he interrupted, "You are Elizabeth." She shook her arms free of his grasp and turning her back on him continued.

"Please Mr Darcy, hear me out before casting your judgement," she declared whilst staring at the intricate design of the carpet beneath her slippers. "I could forgive myself for agreeing to marry Mr Collins; after all I was simply obeying the wishes of my father, such as any dutiful daughter might, however much the idea repulsed me.

"I could forgive myself for being angry with you when you disclosed your feeling to me, as at the time you were in the wrong to have acted the way you did towards your friend and my sister. I will eventually forgive myself for the hateful words that I spat at you on that occasion too, but only by showing you how altered my feeling are towards you now.

"But here my conscience pricks at me, gnaws away at my heart like a dog at an old marrow bone; that I would stand here in your house, in your very study, with my husband's unconscious form in the room above my head, and wish with all my heart that he had died all those days ago! That I would be rid of him! That I may now allow myself to succumb to my heart's desire and allow you to envelop me in your loving embrace, as I know you are so near to doing." She now turned around to face him, the flames of desire dancing in her eyes and her breathe coming in ragged gasps.

"What think you of me now Sir? The ungodly woman that I am; to wish for my husband's death so that I may replace him with another? Am I still so deserving of your good opinion."

In one swift motion he reached her and pinned her against the wall, his hands cupping her face and his eyes hungrily devouring her. "Do you truly mean it Lizzy? Say it, say the words, I beg you," he breathed huskily into her ear before again staring so deeply into her eyes as if attempting to pluck the truth from their earthy depths.

Elizabeth was on the verge of giving in to the overwhelming force of his stare, and utter the words that had been like thorns in her bosom for the last week, when the study door suddenly opened and Georgiana peered around the door.

The sight that Georgiana witnessed stole the words from her lips and the motion from her feet. She stood rooted to the spot, ogling her brother and Elizabeth, who both gaped at her, trapped in their compromising position.

Elizabeth was the first to act. She tore herself from Darcy's grasp and ran from the room, brushing roughly past Georgiana in her haste to escape that lady's admonishing glare. Darcy's arms swung meekly at his sides, bereft of the hope that had just filled them.

Georgiana finally realised, with a crashing wave, why her brother was taking such pains for Elizabeth's behalf, and her heart ached for the torment that she now saw etched across his stricken face.

"Oh brother..."