Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just having some fun with her characters.
Many thanks to radar1230 for prereading this for me and being my cheerleader and also to LJ Summers, my superbly fast beta who wields her colorful pens with style and accuracy. :)
So, this is a long one. I was considering breaking it up into two, but I just couldn't do that to you guys. Enjoy!
Riley called again and I agreed to go to a movie with him. The film was fun, a comedy. We laughed happily together and afterward he took me out for coffee.
Again, our conversation was easy. Riley was fascinating. He'd grown up on a ranch and was no stranger to hard work.
"I'll have to take you horseback riding sometime." He smiled at me as he sipped from a large mug of his Americano.
I really wanted to be interested in him. He was kind and intelligent. Everything about him was attractive. He was considerate of my feelings. He was sensitive to my past. Our dates were interesting. He was the kind of man my dad would love me to be with.
"Yeah, that would be fun," I said, picking at my napkin.
He reached across the table and took my hand, enfolding it in his warm grip. I closed my eyes, waiting and hoping for butterflies that didn't come. I raised my eyes to see his dark ones coaxing me to trust him. Positive thinking, Bella. I could grow into this.
"I really like you, Bella," he said sincerely.
When I didn't say anything, he squeezed my hand, as though he had enough faith for the both of us.
He drove me home and I was lost in thought for the whole ride. I stared out the window, wondering if I could make this work with him. But I couldn't deny that my heart still ached for Edward.
He walked me to my door. "Bella, I really enjoyed tonight. Thank you for coming out with me."
"I had a good time too," I said sincerely.
He hesitated, there on my porch, drifting slightly closer and I knew what he was doing. But I wasn't ready. I clutched my purse in front of me and put the key in my door. "Thank you for the nice evening, Riley."
He smiled and I left him standing on the step. Closing the door behind me, I leaned back and closed my eyes. Overwhelming disappointment flowed through me.
Why couldn't it have been Edward?
TOML ~ TOML ~ TOML
Edward showed up at my house a couple more times that week, just to hang out. One time, he came over while I was assembling a bookshelf. He helped me put it together and we joked about the poorly translated assembly instructions. Then I made some nachos and we had a casual lunch together. The next time he came, he showed up unexpectedly with a pizza and a movie rental: The Princess Bride. I teased him that 80's cult movies would be our thing and he laughed, tugging on my pony tail.
I was heading out of the sanctuary when I spotted Edward across the foyer talking to a little old lady. He looked up and when he saw me, his eyes lit up. He smiled down at the lady, touched her shoulder gently, then made his way over to me.
"Hi," he said, his whole face beaming at me.
A flurry of tingles quivered in my belly. "Hi," I breathed.
His eyes dropped to his shoes and I thought I saw his cheeks pink just a bit. When he looked back at me, he looked…nervous? "So, um, are you ready for the retreat?"
"Oh, yeah, I think I am," I said, shrugging a little.
His gaze glowed at me and his upturned lips twitched as though he was trying to hold back his smile. "So, are we all good for games?"
I couldn't help but smile up at him, "Yeah, I think we are."
"Bella, hi," Riley said, walking up and placing his hand on my elbow gently, looking up at Edward.
"Oh, hey," I said, suddenly nervous.
Edward frosted over, his eyes hardening, and focused darkly on Riley's hand on my arm.
"Lieutenant," Riley acknowledged Edward with a brief salute.
Edward nodded, "Ensign."
I stood stiffly, leaning ever so slightly away from Riley's warm hand. "If you both will excuse me, I have something… I need to go," I said nervously. "Edward, I'll see you on the retreat." Then I abruptly left the two men standing there.
"Wow, what was that about?" Rose asked, as she broke away from her conversation and we headed for the door.
I shook my head. "I'm not entirely sure." When I looked back, both men were watching as we walked out the door.
TOML ~ TOML ~ TOML
The church's fifteen-passenger vans pulled out of the parking lot and started the trip to the retreat center on Lake Crescent. I rode in Sam's van along with Edward and a bunch of kids, including Angela, Ben, and Eric. Apparently Angela and Ben were dating. They flirted throughout the whole trip, while Eric listened to his iPod, the hood of his zip-up sweatshirt pulled over his head.
Sam, Edward, and I chatted amiably as we drove along the winding highway through the forests, crossing the Elwa River and Lake Sutherland, before turning off onto the road that brought us to the retreat center. I was surprised at how easy things had become between Edward and me. Even though there were some uncertainties and there was still so much about him that I didn't understand, I knew he had his own issues and reasons for acting the way he did because his actions in other circumstances had clearly demonstrated that he wasn't a jerk. I was wondering if I just needed to let it all go and try to maintain a friendship with him and hopefully, one day he'd trust me enough to share his struggles with me.
Unfortunately, this didn't get rid of my intense attraction to him. Ever since that dream I'd had, the attraction had grown exponentially. And I couldn't deny that, secretly and foolishly, I still held out hope that he would get over whatever his problem was and maybe we could be together. So where did that leave me in regard to dating Riley, or any other man? I didn't know. Was it wrong of me to date Riley when I had such strong feelings for Edward? Or was I simply trying to get over my futile attraction to him by dating someone else?
That night at Lake Crescent, after we had all settled in our cabins and had dinner in the dining hall, we all gathered around the fire pit. I watched as Edward built a roaring blaze that warmed us as we huddled around. He was so capable. So infuriatingly desirable, his strong arms skillfully arranging the wood and lighting kindling around the base before coming and sitting next to me on a fallen log. We sang songs and made S'mores. The kids loved it and we had a lot of fun. Edward's face glowed in the firelight, the shadows playing under his eyes. At times, he'd glance over at me, our eyes locking, and I thought my heart would beat out of my chest by the way he looked at me: warmly, almost…lovingly.
At the end of the time, the youth staffers cleaned up around the fire and the kids all went back to the cabins. Edward and I ended up walking back through the woods to the cabins together. All the kids were in the cabins and the other staffers were taking supplies back to the meeting hall. The only sounds to be heard as Edward and I found ourselves walking alone through the woods were the wind in the trees and the snapping of twigs under our feet. He looked over his shoulder and around us a little bit, then ran his hand through his hair.
"Bella," he said hoarsely. "I have no right to ask you this, but… Please don't date Riley."
I looked over at him incredulously while my stomach clenched. "What? Why?"
He was quiet, hands in his pockets.
My chest tightened. "Edward, why?"
He looked over at me. The moon filtered through the canopy of branches overhead and glinted in his eyes, casting shadows on his tormented features.
I stopped in my tracks. He followed suit, turning to face me and slowly digging his boot into the brittle fir needles and soft dirt underfoot. "Please, just don't," he pleaded softly.
I straightened my back and squared my shoulders. "Give me reason," I demanded. I wasn't asking for him to tell me there was something wrong with Riley. What I was really saying, what I was really pleading was, Tell me you feel this, tell me you want me. I was daring him. "Give me reason."
His eyes were stormy, his face stony. He looked out into the woods and crossed his arms. I could see that his fists were clenched as he seemed to seethe there in front of me. "I just don't think he's…good…for you."
"You don't think he's good for me? Why not? What's wrong with him? And since when are you an expert on what is good for me?"
He turned his glare back on me.
I continued, frustration welling up within me. "Listen, I know that you want to be…friends, for some strange reason. But that does not give you the right to have a say in my love life." If he wanted to have a friendship, that was fine. But there was no way I was going to let him dictate my choices, especially if he continued to insist on being so evasive.
He stepped closer to me, till he was only maybe a foot in front of me. "Do you love him?" he hissed.
"I didn't say that; that's not what I meant," I snapped.
"Hey, what's going on, guys?" Sam appeared suddenly from down the path.
I took a deep breath and Edward spoke up, his eyes still on me. "Nothing much, man. We're just working out a problem with the games. But it's nothing that can't be solved later."
Edward thought we weren't done talking about it. "Yeah, actually, I think we've pretty much got it worked out. I'm going to bed now," I said, walking around Edward and heading toward my cabin. "Goodnight, guys."
When I walked into the cabin the girls were laughing and chattering excitedly. Some walked around with green facial masks as others held bottles of nail polish in their hands, painting toenails.
I went over and began unrolling my sleeping bag onto my bunk and started getting ready for bed.
"Bella, we're going to play Truth or Dare," Kate said. "You in?"
"Uhh…" I tried to think of ways to get out of it. "We need to get some sleep, you guys, tomorrow's a full day."
"Oh, come on. It'll be fun and we'll still get enough sleep."
A couple other girls joined in on the pleading. "Yeah, you have to, Bella."
I groaned but knew it was a lost cause. If you get that many girls together for an overnight, they're bound to be up giggling and talking. I figured I might as well join in and make sure everything was on the up and up. "All right," I conceded. "But let's keep it appropriate."
Several squeals erupted around the room. Lauren rolled her eyes, but she joined the circle like everyone else. The sound of soda cans opening and the rustling of plastic bags could be heard as nacho flavored tortilla chips, chocolate and peanut butter candies, and gummy worms were pulled out of bags.
Kate spoke up. "Okay, I'm gonna start." She took a big swig of her Mountain Dew then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Okay, Bella, Truth or Dare?"
I blinked a couple times. Wow. Okay. I guess I'm jumping right in. "Uhh, Truth."
She smiled. "Hmm… Okay. Have you ever cheated on a test?"
I laughed. "Not that I can remember. My dad would have killed me if I'd ever gotten caught."
Kate looked surprised. "Really? Never?"
"No, I don't think so."
She shrugged. "Okay, then it's your turn now."
I looked around the group. I didn't want to embarrass anyone. "Okay, Angela. Truth or Dare?"
She blushed and replied, "Truth."
"What is your favorite musical instrument?"
Groans rumbled through the group. "Oh, Bella, you're terrible at this!" Jessica complained.
I ignored them and waited for Angela's answer.
She looked at her hands and blushed even more. "Well, it used to be oboe, but I'm really liking the saxophone," she said quietly. I smiled remembering that Ben played the sax.
The game proceeded and various questions about hygiene, crushes, and embarrassing moments ensued. Mixed in with those were a few dares. When one girl was dared to push a penny around the toilet seat with her tongue, I insisted that she be allowed to clean the seat first. Another girl was dared to drink a full can of soda in a minute. The questions and dares kept going around and then Lauren leveled a challenging glance at me. When I selected Truth, she smirked.
"Is Edward a good kisser?"
My eyes widened. "I wouldn't know."
"Oh, come on," she said. "We all see how he looks at you." The rest of the girls made sounds of agreement. "And obviously, he's totally hot. There's no way you haven't gotten some of that. If I were you, I would've."
I was about to put a stop to that train of thought but got interrupted. "Oh, please. Like you know anything about that," Jessica sneered.
Lauren's head snapped around. "Well, at least I'm not a little slut that got herself knocked up."
Eleven sets of wide eyes turned to Jessica whose face was beet red. Tears glistened in her eyes and she bolted up and ran out of the cabin, slamming the door on her way.
"This game is over," I said as I stood up. "I expect lights out and everyone in bed when I return."
Jessica hadn't gone far. She was sobbing into her hands on the front porch of the cabin. I sat down next to her and put my hand on her back, saying nothing.
It was probably ten minutes before her crying subsided and she began to speak, her words broken by little gasps of air. "Why…does she…have…to be…such a…bitch?"
I rubbed her back soothingly and said nothing while she caught her breath.
"She's always got to put others down. She's always been like this," she said, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her hoodie. "I don't know why I ever was friends with her. She's awful. She's hateful." Jessica spent the next several minutes unloading all of her pent up hurts about Lauren. I let her vent. Then I waited in silence for a couple minutes, all the while rubbing her back.
"It seems to me that the meanness isn't completely one-sided between the two of you," I said quietly.
She sighed. "You're right. I've just been so sick of her. I can't stand it. I just want to show her what a brat she is and so I've been rude right back."
Crickets chirped in the darkness as we sat a while longer. "So, is it true? What she said?"
Jessica's hands went back to her face and quiet sobs shook her frame. "Yes," she whimpered.
"Does Mike know?"
She shook her head.
"Have you told your parents?"
Again, she shook her head.
"Well, I guess you have some decisions to make," I said, quietly. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head.
"All right. If you want to talk about it, I'm an open ear. I'll help you find a doctor if you want or help you figure out how to talk to people. You let me know, okay?"
"Okay," she whispered. "Please don't tell anyone."
I was quiet for a moment. What was my responsibility? I hadn't agreed to being an informer. Legally, I wasn't bound. She hadn't told me she'd been abused or anything. If I really wanted to be able to help these kids, they needed to be able to trust me. I sighed. "Okay, Jessica. I won't tell anyone. But you get help. And if you need help getting help, you let me know," I said. "And I'm going to be checking back with you."
She nodded. "Thank you."
That night in the cabin, tensions were high. Bunking together had been difficult for Lauren and Jessica after their conflict but they avoided each other, which was as much as could be hoped for. Several of the girls had tried to reach out to Jessica a bit. It warmed my heart. They could have treated her with disdain, but they were kind. I halfway expected her to want to go home the next morning, but she stuck it out and I was proud of her.
For the first time, I felt like I could really make a difference in the lives of these kids. Like maybe I really did have something to offer.
TOML ~ TOML ~ TOML
"You missed a spot."
"Well, hold it still, Edward."
"I'm trying but it's slippery."
"I almost…have it…"
"There, right there, you got it."
It was early afternoon and Edward and I were hunched over a picnic table by the lake, greasing a watermelon with Vaseline for water games. It was much more difficult than one would think. Everyone else was already in the water, playing and splashing each other. Laughter, squeals, and shouts bounced off the surface of the lake and echoed off the trees.
I wiped my hands on a towel. It would take forever for that stuff to get off. I was really trying not to stare at Edward in his swim trunks as I slipped off my flip-flops and walked down to the water's edge. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I put a little swing to my hips as I walked away from him. I had already noticed him trying to surreptitiously check me out in my swimsuit.
"All right, so this is how it works. Split up into your teams and line up on your respective buoy lines," I called out to everyone in the water as Edward stepped up next to me. "The object is to get the watermelon and get it past the other team's goal line. You may not pick the watermelon out of the water. No hitting, kicking, shoving people under water, you get the idea. We play to ten points."
Jacob had decided to stay on dry land and keep score and call fouls. Surprisingly, things between us were fairly easy. We didn't hang out or talk much. But it didn't feel too weird. He was still my Jake. I believed that, one day, our friendship would come through this and we would be fine. Maybe we wouldn't be as close as we'd been in the past, but we'd be okay.
Edward threw the melon into the center of the playing area. He joined one team and I joined the other. He called for the game to begin and splashing, grunting and general all around mayhem ensued. The clamor of bodies pushed, fought, and splashed as the melon was grabbed, slipped out of hands, disappeared under the water before popping up somewhere else and eventually made it across a goal line. The plays were called, the melon starting out at the center line each time before the game continued. The score stayed evenly matched throughout, each team scoring alternating goals.
The youth staffers, though on the teams, stayed for the most part to the outsides of the action, helping to make sure everything stayed safe. I hadn't even touched the melon throughout the whole game. But since my job was mainly to watch the action, I'd had plenty of time to ogle Edward as his lithe body cut through the water, his strong arms propelling him quickly back and forth, water glistening on his chest and dripping off his head as he shook it out each time he surfaced. I really tried to keep my eyes off him since I was supposed to be making sure everyone was safe. But come on! It was tough.
Suddenly the watermelon landed in front of me and I jumped, or rather swam, into action. I wrapped one arm around the slippery oblong shape and hunched around it to try and keep it secure as I swam with the other arm, kicking hard toward the other team's line. Since I was a little ways out of the fray, I was able to get a considerable way toward the goal before someone latched onto me from behind. Someone with long muscular arms and a solid chest.
Oh Lord, help me.
I twisted, trying to break his hold and kicked powerfully. But it was no use. It was ridiculous to think I could out-swim a Coast Guard officer. So I decided on a defensive tactic and curled into a ball, bringing my knees up and hunched my torso around it, with my arms wrapped around the slimy melon. Edward's arm was around my waist as the other fought my hold, trying to get it out of my grasp but he couldn't get a good enough grip on it. I shrieked and spit out the water that flooded my mouth.
"Come on, Bella. Give it up," he grunted. "You know you're not going to win this one."
"No way!" I fought back.
And the blasted man cheated. He began tickling my sides trying to get me to release. I shrieked and laughed and rolled, but I didn't let go.
"All right, you asked for it," he said, winding his arm around me and suddenly I felt myself being pulled through the water very quickly.
"Edward!" I gasped as water cascaded over my shoulders, my hair trailing in the wake. "Let me go!"
"Not a chance," he laughed.
I could hear the shouts of the kids as I felt his muscles contract and release, moving fluidly and with ease. "This has to be against the rules! Let me go!"
He just laughed and held me all that much tighter. My blood was pumping and my body felt alive. I reveled in his hold even as I fought it. But far too soon his arms left me and I found myself at the goal line.
He swam back around to face me, a triumphant and self-satisfied grin on his face that I couldn't help but return. "Don't mess with me, little girl. You might not like the result," he said with a wink before swimming away.
Oh, I think I might.
I was useless for the rest of the game, thinking about Edward's firm body against mine and the light in his eyes as he'd teased me. The other team ended up winning but I didn't care. I felt like the tides were changing and maybe, just maybe, Edward was snapping out of whatever funk had seized him.
I wrapped my towel around myself and walked quietly back to the cabin. All the girls were taking turns showering, crowding around the mirror, reapplying makeup, fixing their hair, and getting dressed for dinner. When they saw me, they giggled a little.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing," they chimed.
TOML ~ TOML ~ TOML
I carried my tray over to a table full of my girls and set it down in an empty spot. Suddenly, they quit talking and when I looked up at them, little giggles escaped their pinched lips.
Paranoia filled my mind when I thought about all the possibilities. Had they smeared jello on my chair and I'd unwittingly sat in it? Did they know something about the chili that I didn't? "What's going on, girls?"
Their faces smoothed out in feigned innocence. But a couple of them betrayed their secret when their eyes darted across the room. I turned my head to look and saw Edward sitting at a table, his eyes on me, a smile that could only be described as…fond on his face. I felt my cheeks heat as I turned back around and the girls noticed my telltale blush.
"Ooh! Bella!" they tittered.
I shook my head. "Girls, you're being silly."
"Whatever you say," Angela said with a laugh.
I chose to focus on my slab of cornbread and bowl full of beans and meat. Thankfully, the girls got distracted by something else and were talking about heading back to school in just a few weeks and all the teachers they hoped they'd have or not have.
A large hand clamped over my shoulder and when I looked up, I saw Jacob smiling softly down at me. "Hey, Bells, is everything ready for the game tonight?"
"Yes, absolutely," I said quickly. Capture the Flag was the plan for the night.
After dinner, I went back to the cabin and dressed warmly for the game. When we met on the field at eight o'clock, flashlights in hand, Edward was there with the flags.
"Hey," he said, tugging on my ponytail. I was beginning to think he just liked touching my hair.
I smiled. "Hey."
He folded his arms and sighed. "Yeah… I'm pretty sure your team is gonna get your butts handed to you again."
"You're not competitive at all, are you, Edward?" I scoffed teasingly. "We'll see who comes out on top."
He coughed a little and scratched the back of his neck and I realized his mind had gone a completely different direction than what I'd intended.
I suppressed a laugh and bumped his arm with mine. "Mind out of the gutter, Masen," I said, quietly.
I smirked when he struggled to clear his throat.
We numbered off and formed teams. General boundaries were established for each team's home territory. Edward and I took our teams out into the woods to hide our flags and establish a jail. After a few minutes I blew an air horn to signify the beginning of the game and we fanned out silently into the undergrowth.
I went out to the edge of the boundary and walked carefully along the perimeter with my flashlight off so as not to be detected. Occasionally I stopped behind a tree when I heard noises. The light of the moon slightly illuminated the ferns, berry bushes and rhododendrons nestled beneath the majestic firs and cedars. I recognized the boundary line when I crossed into the other team's territory and moved even more stealthily, not wanting to be caught.
Hearing footsteps, I quickly and quietly slid on my belly underneath a nurse log. When I peered out from underneath the draping moss, I could see a dark figure moving slowly through the trees. I couldn't quite make out the person's features, but by the way they moved and their approximate size, I guessed that it was Sam. I waited till he passed and I could no longer hear his movements before rolling out, rising to my hands and knees and crouched for another moment, just listening before I carefully continued treading over the soft forest floor teeming with fungi, saplings, decaying wood, and moss.
A spotted owl let out its night cry as I skirted around an enormous tree trunk. I looked down when I nearly tripped over an exposed root and squeaked in surprise when long arms wrapped around me from behind and covered my mouth.
"Gotcha," Edward breathed in my ear as I breathed heavily from fright.
I grabbed at his arm, trying to pull his hand from my mouth as I fought against him. But of course, he held me tight.
Shoot! I really didn't want him to win this game too. Adrenaline coursed through me and I didn't think, I just acted. I stomped down hard on his instep with my heel.
"Ahh! Damn it, Bella!" he cried and loosened his hold just a bit. Not much, but enough for me to wrench free and start running.
But he was on me in an instant, arms around my waist as he tackled me to the ground. "Oof." The air rushed out of me as he landed hard on my back. When he raised himself up a bit to take his weight off me, I started scrambling, trying to get out from under him. But he grabbed my leg and wouldn't let me advance any further. I rolled to my back and began kicking at his grip on my leg.
"Shit!" he hissed. "Bella, do you have to be so violent?"
Even though it was just a game, my fight-or-flight reflex had kicked in and he wasn't going to win without a good fight. I didn't really want to hurt him, but if a little pain was what it took for me to get away from him, I was ready to dish it out.
It didn't take long for him to subdue my other leg with his other hand, then crawling up my body and straddling my waist to prevent any more attacks by my legs, he pinned my swinging arms on either side of my head. "Are you done?" he asked, panting.
My chest rose and fell rapidly as I stared up at him in utter frustration. "I haven't even gotten started."
He laughed. "Oh really? You seem to be a little immobilized at the moment."
"It'll be stealth. I'm lulling you into a false sense of security."
I could just barely see the wide grin that spread across his face. "You are completely surprising."
I was completely surprising? Me? How about the crazy schizophrenic behavior he'd been exhibiting? "I'm completely surprising? Let's talk about you, Lieutenant Masen!"
"What would you do if I kissed you right now?" he interrupted, that wide grin still on his face.
Well, that shut me up. For a moment, anyway. "You wouldn't."
He lowered himself just slightly. "How do you know I wouldn't?"
My heart was beating wildly in my chest and it had nothing to do with the physical exertion. "I just know."
The earthy scent of the soil mixed with the scent of Edward as he came even closer. I could feel his breath against my lips. "But you think I'm surprising," he said. "So, if I did…this…" he said as he ran the tip of his nose along my jaw up to my ear. "That would surprise you?" he murmured.
I was incapable of speech or anything resembling rational thought.
"What about…this?" he asked as he softly rubbed his stubbly cheek across mine till his mouth hovered over my lips. "Or this?" he asked before gently kissing the corner of my mouth, then, ever so lightly, grazing his lips across mine to kiss the other corner. "Does that surprise you?" His voice was low and incredibly sexy and I was quivering beneath him.
He raised back up, just a little, as he stared down at me. I couldn't see his eyes, only shadows where I knew they studied my incredibly needy state. Then releasing a guttural groan he descended on me, capturing my lips with his. I could feel him vibrating as he seemed to completely let himself go, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth, then the top one. Nipping with his teeth on my sensitive flesh, then running the tip of his tongue where he'd bitten.
I couldn't fight it. I didn't want to fight it. I gave myself over because I was tired of resisting my feelings. Something in me shouted to take what I could while he was giving it because I didn't know when he'd pull back again. I hoped he wouldn't. I parted my lips and began to kiss him back with equal fervor. He slid his tongue against mine with determination, and it was hot and breathy and all the while he was groaning and saying my name as he gasped for breath, before consuming me all over again.
I had never been kissed like that before.
He released my pinned wrists, leaning on his elbows, while plunging his fingers into my hair at the nape of my neck.
"You have no idea," he gasped, then he was kissing my neck, swirling on my skin. He pulled my earlobe in his mouth, flicking it with his tongue and I was in sensory overload. I'd gone so long with nothing and suddenly it was like a dam had burst. "I want," he groaned. "I want." He gripped the back of my neck as he laid claim to my mouth once again.
My body began to squirm. He was making me feel. And I hadn't really felt in so long. Closer. Please, closer. "What? What do you want?" I breathed as he tugged at the neck of my hooded sweatshirt and his mouth fell on my collar bone, sucking hard on the skin there.
"So bad… I want this so bad. I want you so bad," he growled, before gently biting the skin at the crook of my neck.
"Unnn," I groaned. My back arched and suddenly he thrust his hips into mine. I threw my head back and he stilled. No, don't stop, please don't stop. I didn't know what I wanted him to do. No, that was a lie. I knew. But if we didn't stop we'd be in an even more inappropriate state than we already were.
He dropped his face in the crook of my shoulder and I could feel him shaking. I was trying so hard to remain absolutely still and not push up for more friction.
"We have to stop," he said with a rasp. "I don't know if I can control myself."
I squeezed my eyes shut, but I couldn't turn it off. I couldn't shut off these feelings he'd released and his weight on top of me felt so good and I had to move, just a little more. Just a tiny bit. So I slowly rocked upwards and he moaned, taking my lips again. I was absolutely shameless. And I think I would have done anything he wanted me to do in that instant. So when he kissed me hard, his tongue delving forcefully, and he again thrust down on me, I lost it. I was his, however he wanted me. "Yes, please," I panted, breaking away.
And suddenly the cold air chilled my skin as his weight lifted and he fell to the ground beside me, panting. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Bella." I lay there a squirming, quivering mess, dying just a little that he had stopped and he was apologizing. "That was way over the line," he groaned.
Just then we heard footsteps and two people talking. We lay, not moving a muscle. They were coming our way. They were going to trip over us if we didn't move. Suddenly, Edward jumped into action.
"I got you," he said, hauling me to my feet. "You're coming with me now."
"Oh, hey, Edward," Jared said. "You caught one?"
"Sure did," he said with a smile.
"Me too," Jared grinned, holding onto the collar of Jacob's shirt.
I was glad it was pretty dark and they couldn't see the flushed tone of my skin from Edward's and my heavy make out session.
"All right, let's go," Edward said, grabbing my arm and pulling me along behind Jared and Jake.
I was done for. My brain was a fog and my body was on fire. And yet, I trudged through the ferns, alongside Edward and behind the other two men, wondering where this left us.
It was brought to my attention that nurse log may not be a term most people are familiar with. A nurse log is a fallen tree that provides nutrients to other plants/moss/fungi/seedlings, etc., as it decays. You will see lots of moss and other stuff all over these logs. Sometimes full grown trees grow off a nurse log. "You can Google it."
So... What did you think of the chapter?
Reviewers will get a little teaser that will not be posted anywhere else (I also post teasers on ADF and Fictionators) - provided you haven't disabled your pm's. :) But if you don't want to be spoiled, just let me know!
Also, I'm still sick - and so are the littles, so bear with me if the next update takes a little longer, but I'm hoping to stay on track.
Love and hugs! (virtual hugs anyway, you wouldn't want to hug me right now, you might catch something.)
