The latest chapter of this FF story. I hope you enjoy it, thanks for reading and for the feedback!


"Hey wait up," a voice sounded from behind C.J.

She turned around to see a svelte blond woman bundled up in a long coat carrying a load of books walking quickly towards her, as if to catch up.

C.J. stopped her own walking and turned to look at her friend, Julia Martin who shared her classes with her as well as an apartment off campus.

"What took you so long," C.J. asked, "I know they posted the midterm scores but why did you hang out by the boards so long?"

Julia's cheeks grew pink.

"You know Lance…he was looking for someone to tutor him in evidence law class and…"

C.J. smiled.

"And you thought you'd sign him up before anyone else could get to him."

Julia tried to look shocked but failed miserably and satisfied herself with a nod.

"Why not," she said, "He's good looking…in an interesting way and he's a nice guy…and I'm not used to nice but I think it's time to try something different."

C.J. suppressed a laugh at a woman who had become her closest friend at Harvard in the six months they had spent there, struggling to survive the tide which had grabbed hold of them not long after they arrived, threatening to drag them beneath it. Law school had been tougher than C.J. had ever imagined but she enjoyed the rigorous pace of learning and the challenges it presented. When she wasn't working nights at a local restaurant to supplement her living expenses, she haunted its law library staking out her favorite carrel in the corner of the third floor near the Massachusetts penal code section. Her heart after all, remained in criminal law, she just hadn't picked her side of the fence yet.

The two women walked together towards their favorite coffee place to kick back with some of that designer coffee that C.J. had developed a taste for and to forget the law that ruled their lives and invaded their dreams most of the rest of the time.

"What about you," Julia asked.

C.J. looked at her startled and the other woman just raised her brows, awaiting an answer.

"What about me," she asked.

Julia sighed.

"You hardly ever go out for fun," she said, "You're either at the library or the restaurant."

C.J. shrugged.

"I've got to keep my job at the restaurant," she said, "and I have to use up whatever time's left to study. Harvard's kicking my butt."

Julia harrumphed.

"Hardly," she said, "You're just about at the top of the class and everyone knows it."

Yeah, everyone, C.J. thought. She had already been on the receiving end of some snide comments about the rustic cowgirl upsetting the proper order of Boston's elite. The laughter behind her back each time she had opened her mouth and her Texan twang had filled the classroom when called on by a professor. But by the time she had provided her answer, the laughter had stopped because as it turned out, she was truly inside her element at least in the classroom.

Despite her high ranking, she had never been included in any of the social invites from exclusive legal organizations which provided excellent opportunities for future attorneys to network with more established firms which would be a boost for finding a great position later on. Not that C.J. really paid much attention to that part of the Harvard experience, being too busy to study when she wasn't waiting tables to notice what everyone else was doing.

"I'm so busy studying to learn as much as I can and to improve that ranking."

Julia shook her head.

"C.J., you've got to inject some more fun into your life," she said, "Get out a little more and mingle at some of these parties. Maybe meet a guy or two and get some…"

C.J. laughed at that.

"What are you, my tour guide to the party circuit?"

"Well you know there hadn't been that many since well…you know."

They all did and since the terrorist attacks in New York City and Washington, D.C. that had shaken up the city, the environment at Harvard had been more somber, the mood darkening as if someone had flipped a switch off. Back during those chaotic early hours, C.J. had been so worried about Matt and Will who had been at basic training awaiting their assignments during a time of peace, which had ended in a flash. The next day, the nation had already been preparing for war and C.J. knew that soon Matt and Will along with many other men and women would be dispatched to fight that war on some unknown front.

The last time she had spoken to him, several months ago, he still had been awaiting his assignment as it looked more and more like the country would be declaring war on Afghanistan. She knew that Matt was where he believed he needed to be and was needed, but she still feared for his safety. And he and Will had been sent to fight the war but because their assignments were classified, C.J. had no idea where they had been sent.

But she hoped both were keeping themselves safe.


Matt sat in his bunk, in a building that could be taken apart and reconstructed inside of an hour if necessary. He had spent the morning working on some computer programming that would improve the ability of surveillance equipment to more efficiently transmit data back to the central databases. Even though he had been at the borders of Afghanistan and Pakistan for a couple of months after some additional training in a base in Germany, he hadn't really seen any action but he heard it at night around him.

To him, the war so far had consisted of days spent in windowless rooms surrounded by computer equipment but that could change at any moment. As for his cousin Will, Matt had no idea where he had been assigned but he knew that he probably served on the front lines in one of the Afghan providences. The only communications that had been made between them had been brief exchanges on secured channels but he hadn't heard from him in a while.

And then his mind returned to her.

Matt knew that he hadn't talked with C.J. in a while, not since he had been stationed in Afghanistan, not even sending emails. But the secrecy of his assignment meant keeping a low profile even about his location and he couldn't risk anything getting traced back to him from anywhere. Now he knew a taste of what it must have been like for his uncle when he had worked as a covert operative. He had actually heard more from Roy than he had from his own father. Roy's connections in the world of espionage had provided him with access to information that enabled both Matt and his son, Will to remain at least one step in front of danger. At least so far.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the worn picture of her, standing there dressed in what else, worn jeans and a faded shirt, with a hat blocking most of her face but not her smile. The woman that not long ago had been in his arms, her body pressed against his own as they forgotten the world that would soon separate them. Now he knew that when they had walked away from what they had shared together during that final weekend, it had been to move forward in separate directions without looking back. But damn it, there had been moments when he didn't know if he could keep that promise. Thousands of miles away from home embedded in a foreign country at war with his own, he had often spent his days too busy to think about what he had left behind but at nights…when the heat that had baked the valley during the day had only begun to abate.

He would lie on his cot after spending some time at the officer's club drinking a couple of rounds with others and remember how simpler life had been back on the ranch in Texas. Spending his days on horseback traveling over the terrain to tend to the many demands of running the operation that his father had left in his hands. Then quitting at the end of the day, when the sun had begun to set on the horizon and heading off for some drinking and a couple of games of pool over at the Wrangler.

But his mind always returned to her, the final moments they had stolen together just before saying goodbye. The way her lips yielded beneath his own, the softness of her skin beneath his touch. Her favorite scents. He'd close his eyes just before falling asleep, remembering how it had been between them with nothing getting in the way.

Still in the light of day, he believed that being an attractive and spirited woman, C.J. no doubt had surrounded herself with men interested in her. After all, they hadn't made any promises to each other before departing and in fact, they had decided to just walk away from what they had shared as friends.

And this morning he had received a phone call from an old girlfriend from his days at Rice University named Christina Berenson who he had nicknamed Squeaky to his Rooster during the year-long romance they had shared while in college. He had been the star quarterback and she had been a sorority queen and they fell into their relationship naturally. Of course, being two very different people, it hadn't lasted long but they had parted friendly and while he had been working on his ranch, she had been making her mark in the modeling world hoping to save money and gain experience so she could follow her real dream which was to be a fashion designer. Matt had no doubt that she would achieve her goals, given how determined and focused she had been on accomplishing her list of things to do even if it meant less time spent with him.

She had decided after 9-11 like a lot of people did to reevaluate her own life and in her case, she decided to give back to the military troops who were sent overseas to fight at war. With a couple of modeling friends of hers, she had signed up to participate in a couple of USO tours to different bases or camps. And she had contacted Matt through some intermediary of hers to notify him that his base was next up on their itinerary as a venue for entertainment.

Matt had replied back that he would be more than happy to ensure a warm welcome for the troupe and that he looked forward to seeing her again. And he did, because Christina was beautiful, lively and knew how to have a great time. At times, he had wondered if they could have ever gotten their relationship to work out but figured that while opposites might attract, that didn't mean they could stick together.

Still, he thought as he went to the mess hall later on, it would be nice to spend some time with her far away from where they both come from and catch up on each other's lives. It would take his mind off of thinking about the woman he really missed at least for a while.

It had been C.J.'s turn to fix dinner and the night was perfect because she didn't have to work or head to the library so she had pored over the recipe books just before heading off to class, shopped at a local grocery when she finished her study session with some other first years and then took over the kitchen while Julia had been out shopping.

She had cooked some fajitas and then scooped them onto plates while they still sizzled and then she and Julia attacked the fixings before taking their food to the living room by the old fireplace which they had been using a lot lately. C.J. took over the couch and Julia spread out on the floor enjoying their food.

"So you really not going to that party tomorrow night," Julia asked again.

C.J. rolled her eyes at her friend who just never gave up at trying to fix her social life which she didn't think needed fixing.

"I've got studying," she said, "I'm going to be at the library tomorrow writing up some briefs and then I've got tort class…"

Julia threw up her hands in defeat.

"Okay, okay I get it, you're committed to being a Harvard recluse," she said, "but you're going to be missing a lot of fun."

C.J. shrugged before biting into her fajita.

"I've had fun," she said, "I've just been busy studying lately."

Julia scoffed.

"You've been studying nonstop since you got here," she said, "It's almost like you don't want to remember having a social life."

C.J. paused to think about that. Julia noted her silence and raised a brow at her.

"You do like parties…and guys," she said, "and you do know what guys and girls do when they get together?"

C.J. just shook her head at her friend.

"Of course I do," she said, "I'm just not interested right now. I'm too tired when I'm not studying or working."

Julia eyed her carefully.

"So when's the last time you've even gotten any?"

C.J. just stared at her.

"I'm not going to answer that," she said.

Julia sighed dramatically.

"Oh why not," she said, "I tell you everything."

"You tell me too much," C.J. said, "You have a much more eventful life than I do."

"You're holding out on me aren't you?"

"What do you mean," C.J. asked.

"There's a guy in your life somewhere," Julia said, "He's just not here. He's that guy…Matt that you nearly dropped everything and took off to visit…"

C.J. remembered that she had nearly done just that when the news about the terrorist attacks had reached them. She knew it sounded crazy but all she wanted was to leave Boston and head towards where he had been stationed for training. To run up to him and feel his arms around her and his body against her own while they made love, to feel alive again in his embrace instead of the numbness which had threatened to consume her. Now it sounded silly but back then, it had been all that Julia could do to knock some sense back into her.

"It's been ages since I've seen him," she said, "And it wasn't like that between us."

Julia snorted.

"Yeah right," she said, "That's not what you said that morning."

"Everything had gone crazy in the world that day," C.J. said, "I never even left Boston. And I don't even know where he is now."

Julia grew quiet for a moment.

"You really care about him…"

C.J. looked at her.

"Of course I do," she said, "He's my best friend."

Julia shook her head.

"Not that way."

C.J. pushed her plate away and sighed.

"Even if I did want more than friendship," she said, "It would never between us. He's not serious about the women he sleeps with."

Julia's brows shot up and C.J.'s skin grew warm.

"Ah so you…and he…did hit the sheets," she said, "I always thought so."

"Only for a weekend," C.J. said, "and then we said our goodbyes and moved on."

Julia's brows shot up again.

"That neat and tidy, huh?"

C.J. just looked at her friend and thought, not nearly at all.

"Well, okay then…if you and he aren't an item anymore," Julia started, "then you're free to find yourself another guy…"

"Julia I don't think…"

"Then don't," Julia advised, "Just leave yourself open to the possibility that another guy might light your fire like he did. And you can start by going to the party with me tomorrow night."

C.J. looked at her friend, hedging. Part of her wanted to unwind after a day of studying and have some fun. Okay, so maybe she didn't want another relationship but if any guy came up to her, she would just keep it light.

And it would keep her mind off of him at least for a while.


Matt and Christina walked around the base which had plenty of armed soldiers walking around and keeping perimeter. The sun shone warm, even in the mornings but being winter, everyone had to bundle up.

Christina had decked herself out in a gorgeous winter wardrobe but had worn the requisite combat helmet on her head. She had been set up with the rest of her troupe in the VIP headquarters but while both were busy during the days, with him working and she rehearsing, they spent most of their mornings together. As the days passed during her week-long stint, he found himself being drawn back into believing that maybe they could try it again. After all, she would be touring the region for over a month and they could keep in touch. She definitely acted as though she was still attracted to him even though she acted aloof, which had been her nature even when they were together. After all, she had come from a more refined background and had grown up used to the finer things as part of her urban upbringing. Not that she hadn't enjoyed visiting his father's ranch but she couldn't imagine ever living there.

"The troupe looks like they're enjoying themselves," Matt said, as they passed the mess tent.

Christina smiled.

"They enjoy what they do, singing, dancing or reminding the men and women of home," she said, "but it's the least that we can do for them."

"So when you're done with your tour, what are you going to do," he asked.

She looked out at the wide span of desert land bordering the base.

"I'll go back to modeling," she said, "I've got offers from clothing lines in London, Paris…Rome…I never lack for work."

He smiled.

"It looks like you're closer to realizing your dreams than the last time we were together," he said.

She looked at him then and her face softened.

"Oh Rooster," she said, "I missed you so much, if I could go back…"

He sighed.

"You made the decision that was best for you," he said, "There's nothing wrong with that Squeaky. It's sure good to see you now."

She reached out and stroked his arm.

"I thought about you all the time…"

He studied her face and he thought she was beautiful in a way that reminded him of fine china, with delicate features and wearing her hair in a crisp bun, which defied the weather conditions. As long as he'd known her, she hadn't ever had a hair out of place…even well when they had been getting physical.

She reached for him and he put his hands on her waist drawing her close as their lips met, softly at first and then with more ardor. But while he knew he kissed Christina, he saw someone else thousands of miles away that he had to put behind him.