Disclaimer: I own nothing because I'm not cool (or rich) enough!
A/N: Right the muse isn't playing nice lately! BUT here's the next chapter!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Love To Surprise-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Ever since reading Derek's diary Penelope had felt that she needed to repay the gesture. She'd only joked when she told him she didn't have a diary when in fact she had both that and a blog.
She got her laptop out, her and Derek had found it easier to buy things online, they could shop until they dropped and be near their daughter all at once. Their new house was filled with things that were ready to be built and used. Cots, changing tables, playpen, you name it, they had it; they wanted to be prepared for when their daughter came home.
She logged on, and went to her own blog, she sat there looking at it and entered in one final blog before breathing in and standing up. "Fran I need your help with something." Fran and Derek looked up.
"What's up?"
"Nothing, I just want to go and buy something." Penelope told her and Fran didn't say another word she stood up. "I thought you could read something, Sugar."
Derek looked at her. "I'm fine with this Mamma." He told her holding up the magazine.
"Oh no, I think you'll really like this." Penelope said and handed the laptop over, she bent down and kissed him on lips before standing up straight, grabbing her bag and following Fran out of the room.
Derek looked at the screen, he scrolled down then up. He looked to see if Penelope was still there, to tell her she'd left a page up and then he realised what she was doing. This page was full to brim with blog entries, no real dates, more titles and he could just tell from words what moments they were.
Baby Girl
So I'm thrown into this new job. Great! I'm the only woman. Double great! They're all your typical types. One snorts, one chuckles at some picture of a puppy, one talks in computer talk, one talks nonstop about his GUI and then there's me. I'd hate it if I snort, puppies are cute but I'll love erm or leave them, I talk computer talk when on the job and my GUI is awesome but that's because it's my GUI, no one else's.
Ever since arriving here, I've been on loan but lately I'm stuck on the sixth floor most. I was picking up yet more files when I heard him. Gomez, he called out and no one responded, I didn't, it's not my name. Then I heard it. Baby Girl. I turned; I had to, why would a man that has the voice of an absolute God be calling anyone in the room Baby Girl when I was the only female? So in politeness I turned and there bestowed before my very eyes is a statuesque GOD!
I later found out, when the dorks of the tech pool were complaining, that the muscle bound jock from the sixth floor is called Derek Morgan.
Muscle bound he may be, and previous jock by the looks of it but I'd sure pay money for that piece of man meat.
My job just got a whole lot better!
This BabyGirl's loving her job!
Derek had to laugh; Penelope hadn't really changed at all. No surprise really, when the saying of leopards never change their spots he was deadly certain that Penelope fitted that like a glove. It was word perfect.
He cherished the day he got her name wrong.
BOOM!
Sheer terror flooded me. It's a weird surge and I've never had to be that close to death since my parents. I don't want to be that close, but in this job, with my superheroes out on field I know it's going to reoccur.
Doesn't stop my heart from skipping a beat and freezing until I hear that they're okay though.
I couldn't keep myself strong after seeing the explosion on my monitor. I doubted, for a split second, and frantically dialled his number, just to hear if he was okay and the moment he answered I broke and calmed.
I actually think he's my heart now.
Profiler, Profiled
I wouldn't cry in front of him. I refused to see that I was hurting for him. My strong, heroic best friend has kept a secret for years and now, after a couple of days of pure hell he's personal life is everyone's business.
I could see the moment he walked into work that he was watching to see if he was being treated differently. If people were pitying him, if he could work in this environment any longer.
I couldn't face him leaving. It's selfish really. I can't actually have him, but I refuse to let him leave.
I'll be his shoulder to cry on, even when I know he's too strong to cry openly. I'll be waiting. I'll be an ear to listen, even when I know he won't ever shed a word on this.
When he's ready. I'll be his Baby Girl. The woman that'll hold him safely in my heart.
Hero, Homicide
Do you have any idea what searing hot metal feels like as it penetrates your skin and buries itself in your body?
I learnt the hide way and all I can say is never leave the house with sour grapes behind. I argued with him, my best friend had my best interest at heart and out of spite, to prove that I could pull at the most spontaneous moments, I went on a date and it landed me in hospital.
Embarrassing doesn't even come into it. The feeling I have is beyond that. We've not spoken about it much. I don't really want to. Men, like my best friend, do not go for women like me and between him and JCB I now know.
I'm sat here, alone in my apartment, pains meds in my system, a hot water bottle to my incision wound and an empty heart.
There's ways to learn a lesson, but the way I did, doesn't have the right effect.
Walking up in a hospital with pains and flashbacks are nothing to be desired, it's nothing to strived for.
The problem is, even after it all, my face being struck with reality, I'm still in love with my best friend.
And maybe that's my downfall...
Derek re-read that entry again. He had no idea she felt this way, because he didn't ask and she didn't make it obvious she wanted to. He should've made her, gotten her to speak it and maybe, just maybe, they'd have accepted one another's love two years ago.
Noir Hero
I have the best friend in the world and I wouldn't change it for the world. Well I would, but let's not go into detail too much.
I've been thinking it a while, ever since he took me home from the hospital. He is my noir hero, just like Frank Miller wrote.
"The noir hero is a knight in blood-caked armour. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time."
He's my hero for more reasons than I can state, he'll never know how much he is my hero and I won't tell him more than he needs to know. Can't let his head get too much bigger now can I? Not when he is so perfectly proportioned as it is.
He'll keep fighting and I'll keep admiring.
Hackers Alike
So there's a guy, he's like me. It's comfortable, a void filler. He's called Kevin; he's cute in a geeky way. He has glasses, wears insane shirts and he is the complete opposite of Derek. Something that makes me happy yet sad.
Kevin's not a man I look at and see the whole family and picket fences. I can just see a love interest. Something that'll keep me company until I meet my one.
Or get over the one man I want.
Either way, it's nice to not be alone every night.
FDNY 108
God Given Solace. That's what I am. Penelope Garcia, aka Derek Morgan's Baby Girl, now dubbed Derek Morgan's God Given Solace. I won't lie, my heart sings with the ever growing nicknames. It's like they make me, I live for them. I guess I'm a hopeless romantic, I live for Derek Morgan.
I feel important in someone's life. It's stupid to feel it, but I can't deny myself that much.
Especially when for another moment in my life I felt like he'd died on me and I'd listened to it.
My hearts never going to harden in this job and I don't think I'll let it.
Midnight Dream
It happened. I've been shot of Kevin for a while now and my best friend's done his duties. He healed me up after heartbreak and I can't complain. He's let me cry on his shoulder, soak his tight t-shirts with my tears, his held me in his strong arms, he held me while I slept and never asked for anything in return.
I changed that, my behaviour changed that. He slept with me. He made me feel alive, gave me the new lease of life I've been looking for and I can't deny my heart now. It's always been him and it always will be.
Derek Morgan's my oxygen, he's my heart beat and he is my spirit whether I like it at all.
Last night will not be forgotten and I will never regret it either.
Crazy Love
I've gotten the biggest shock ever. Well two. I've been pregnant and not known and my best friend's been in love with since day one too.
When I say I've been pregnant, I had, for 6 months, now I have an almost 2 month old daughter, Annabelle and a fiancé. I couldn't ask for anything better, I couldn't tell you how I'm feeling because it's completely and utterly indescribable.
I've had my ups and downs. I've had my fair share of heart breaks and love but most of all; I now have everything I could ask for and more.
There's so much I've missed out on, and I'll relish in it, but for now I have what I need.
I don't need bad times to haunt me when I have good times waiting for me.
And there all with the man I've waited them to be with. My whole life revolves around him and our daughter.
The loves of my life.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Love To Surprise-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Derek's response to Penelope's blogs was the same as Penelope's to Derek's and ever since then he'd held her close and kept her close. His love for her even bigger, even more fiercer.
No one understood just how tiring sitting in a hospital could be, Fran watched again as Penelope and Derek slept against one another. When they weren't here, they were at either hers, his, or theirs, sorting it out, fixing it up, readying.
She looked up from her book as a nurse and a doctor walked in, he looked at Fran and smiled at her brightly.
"Hi Fran." She said as he came in, they all knew one another now, it was inevitable really. "I think you might want to wake them up." Fran didn't need telling twice and she shook Derek's leg waking him up, consequently waking Penelope up.
They both stood as the doctor approached them. "I think we're ready to take Annabelle off the ventilator and if all's well, we'll get her out for a cuddle."
Penelope smiled, choking on an exhale. Derek caught her and held her tightly with one arm, gathering his mom in the other one.
"We'll test her lungs but the last examination of them showed no problems and we're really optimistic."
"I'll be right back." Fran told them and left, they knew she was going to give a progress report to not only the team but Sarah and Desiree.
Penelope stood, her eyes stuck on her daughter as the doctor and nurses worked over her and she began to panic, not wanting any harm to come to her baby but Derek kept her back, told her that they knew what they were doing.
She just had to stay calm. They both did.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Love To Surprise-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
A/N: I was going to carry this chapter on, but I decided to split it. Keep this entirely to Derek finding out Penelope's real feelings =)
More Soon!
