To say she was entering full-blown hysteria would have been an understatement.
Stephanie scrambled into her bedroom's spacious walk-in closet, searching high and low for a pair of shoes that would match her outfit and accommodate the casual nature of the day. Not only was her doctor's appointment for the 12-week mark starting in the next 45 minutes, but she had somehow convinced Chris to agree to picking her up at her house so they could make the drive over together. She was satisfied with her impressive persuasive skills in getting him to agree, especially considering she had set up the plans for their day solely through text message. Still, she didn't want to award herself too much credit, because she suspected a large part of Chris's compliance with her request was that he was journeying through his own methods of self-healing.
When he first found out about the baby, he had been contending with great fear, along with spurts of anger and betrayal because of the way Stephanie had gone about it. Now that he had time to sit back and be objective, Chris was starting to realize a baby wasn't the end of the world, and he might even embrace his newfound role in fatherhood a lot more than he initially thought possible. Stephanie paused in front of a mirror and took in the sight of her v-neck shirt paired with dark yoga pants, wondering if she was dressed too informally. If she wanted to win Chris back, she would likely have to put more effort into her appearance, but to avoid being overdressed for her appointment, she went with what she had already thrown on.
She had taken extra time after showering to curl her hair and apply moderate amounts of makeup, something which she normally didn't do when she wasn't planning to be on camera at work, so, with any luck, Chris would take notice of the extra effort in that department. She settled on a pair of tennis shoes and pulled them from her shoe rack, taking a temporary seat on the floor so she could get them on. As fate would have it, the familiar chime of her doorbell resonated through the house, just as she was in the process of tying her second shoelace. She scrambled to finish and rose from the carpet with a start, jogging out of the room and rushing to the top of the staircase.
Somewhere between turning the corner and her first foot coming down on the top step, Stephanie tweaked her angle, knees buckling underneath her as she landed in a deflated heap at the summit of the stairs. She hissed in pain and sucked at her teeth while rubbing her twisted left ankle, frowning at it as she tried to detect anything amiss. The sharp flash of pain shooting through it had been momentary, and she wasn't feeling much else, so, at the urging of the doorbell ringing through the silence once more, she rose to her feet. As soon as she put weight on her left ankle, a piercing spasm tore through her leg and she immediately lifted it back up.
Chris's patience seemed to be waning, if his excessive use of the doorbell was any indication, although he could have been teasing, since he used to pull that kind of thing when they were still together. The only reason Stephanie doubted that being the case was because, after everything they had been through as of late, she couldn't imagine he would be in a joking mood. Regardless, she spied her tender ankle once more, still not showing any physical signs of injury, and gripped the bannister with each of her hands as she hobbled down the remainder of the stairs. She passed a small mirror mounted to the wall when she reached the bottom step, and the undeniable scowl on her face was lethal.
The day was supposed to be about winning Chris back, and she had even gone grocery shopping and picked up the items necessary to cook him an extraordinary meal, but, with each passing second, it was looking as if she wouldn't be able to set her plan in motion. Stephanie did an awkward half-hop, half-walk to the door, which she was relieved nobody else was around to witness, and swung it open to find Chris waiting, quite impatiently, on the steps. He tapped his foot on the ground and offered a slight nod, though she wasn't sure where he was looking, since his eyes were covered by a silver pair of aviation glasses. Still breathing quite huffily from the workout she had gotten traveling down the stairs, Stephanie tucked some hair behind her ear and waved him inside.
"Hi. Thanks for coming, Chris."
"Shouldn't we get going?" he motioned towards his car without bothering to step inside. "Your appointment's starting in a bit, and I don't want to be late."
"I know, but I wasn't completely finished getting ready, and I still have to grab my purse from upstairs. I twisted my ankle coming down, and it still hurts, so I might need to ice it."
"Your ankle?" Chris's voice softened, and he pulled his sunglasses off before glancing down at the limb she was clearly favoring and holding out of direct contact with the ground below. Stephanie's heart soared at the concern infiltrating his tone, and she would have jumped for joy when he knelt down to inspect it, had it not been for her suffering extremity preventing such movement. "Is that what was taking you so long to come to the door?"
"Yeah. I was upstairs when I first heard the doorbell, so I tried to run down, but I fell. I've always been a klutz."
She rejoiced inwardly when Chris's thumb trailed smoothly over her flesh, warming the path it left in its wake and sending a pleasureful shiver down her spine. He began swishing his thumb over the general area and peeked up at Stephanie, who was watching him with keen interest as a blush spread rapidly across her cheeks. After all the years they spent together, he was still able to make her melt with a single flash of his electric blue eyes. "This doesn't look very good. It's already starting to swell, and I see a bit of bruising too. Maybe we need to move your appointment to another day and go to the regular doctor today."
"No!" she exclaimed. Chris tipped his head to study her, wondering why she was so intensely against his suggestion, and she remembered herself and quieted down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell. It's just that today was supposed to be really special, and I want to find out whether we're having a boy or girl. I don't want to put this off anymore."
"I get that," he answered, chomping on his gum in a manner that was only adorable when he did it, "but your ankle doesn't look good."
"Don't be ridiculous, I just looked at it after I fell and nothing was there."
"Well, there is now," he replied. Chris began lightly poking and prodding the area, and Stephanie gasped and jerked away when he hit a particularly sensitive spot. Sure enough, when she lowered her head to take a closer look, she found the evidence of swelling that Chris mentioned. The damage had seemingly come out of nowhere, but it was on full display.
"Oh my gosh, this can't be happening. I just wanted today to be a good day, that was all," she mumbled, bringing hand to forehead as she pressed her eyes shut in frustration. Chris rose to a standing position and brought his hand down gingerly on her hair, which was enough to force her eyes open on command. His eyes were sad, drooping in defeat, and Stephanie felt guilty all over again for destroying the love and trust he extended to her. Without thinking, she whispered, "I'm a bad person."
Chris inhaled sharply at her words, releasing the breath through puckered lips. He shook his head valiantly and pulled away from her hair. "You're not bad, Steph. What you did to me wasn't great, but you're a good person at heart."
"That can't be true. You wouldn't hate me the way you do if I wasn't bad."
"Stop it," he said. "Would I be here today to bring you to your appointment if I hated you?"
"No."
"Right, and you know that, so how about you stop feeling sorry for yourself?"
"I just want you to love me again," she spoke desperately. She was almost willing to get down on her knees and beg for forgiveness if that was what it took. Though she hadn't planned on laying her heart on the line so early into Chris's arrival, she obviously wouldn't be able to cook him dinner any longer, so she saw no point in wasting any time. A real woman pursued her desires without hesitation, and that was the ideal Stephanie was trying to live up to. "What will it take for you to give me a second chance?"
Chris's eyes narrowed to slits, and when he began backing away from her, Stephanie knew she was done for. He shook his head, eyes remaining flat and cold, "I knew this shit would happen—I fucking knew it. My dad told me to give you the benefit of the doubt and come down here for the baby's sake, but I had a gut feeling this was all it was going to be."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about you," he glared. "Do you think I came down here so we could chat it up and get back together? I'll answer that for you—I didn't. I came so I could be at the appointment to find out how the baby's doing. I'm not here to talk about us."
"Why are you being like this now? When we talked over text, you were fine, but as soon as we're seeing each other in person, you play hard to get," Stephanie stated, pushing Chris to his breaking point. He clenched his fists, seething mad at the nerve of Stephanie to assume the dissonance lurking within their relationship would evaporate just because they had exchanged some blasé text messages. He was sick of having to paint the big picture for her step-by-step because she was too busy studying the smaller one, and until she could stand on her own and realize what she had put him through, he wasn't going to supply her a single ounce of forgiveness.
"Steph, I'm tellin' you now, I'm about two seconds away from calling Linda and telling her to come get you and bring you to the appointment herself. Don't test me right now."
"What are you even talking about?"
"We're late, that's what I'm talking about. Get your stuff and get in the car, or I swear I'll leave without you. I'm not putting up with a bunch of bullshit just because you want to run your own selfish agenda," Chris scolded, glancing down to check the time on his phone. "This day isn't about you, it's about our baby, so let's keep the focus where it belongs."
"I'm trying," Stephanie shot back defensively.
"Don't try, just do it. Get your things and let's go."
"I said I'm trying, but my ankle is hurt!" she shouted in exasperation.
Chris could stand up to her all he wanted, but Stephanie wasn't one to easily back down. The more they butted heads, the more the fighting instincts inside of her grew, and Chris failed to see his ire would only be met with more of the same. Shoving his phone in his pocket, Chris strolled up to Stephanie and slipped one arm around her back while placing the other behind her knees. He picked her up in his arms with ease and carried her to the passenger side of the car, directing her to pull the door open before placing her inside.
"Where's your purse? I'll go inside and get it," Chris offered.
"It's upstairs in the room, off to the side of the bed."
"I'll make you an ice pack and grab your purse and then we're outta here. You can turn the car on if you need the air or want to listen to the radio while I'm inside," he said, slipping the keys into her lap before setting off for the front door.
"Don't forget to grab my house keys and lock up," Stephanie called after him, grateful he was taking the initiative to be there for her. "They should be sitting on top of my purse."
Chris nodded as he gazed up at the house looming boldly above him. Stephanie's place held countless memories of time spent together and was where they lived with each other right up until Chris moved out and went rushing back to his home in Florida. It would be difficult navigating the place they enjoyed so much time inside without his feelings coming into play, but it was going to be a necessary evil if he ever wanted to make it to the appointment. With a deep breath and heavy heart, Chris entered the house and made his way into the kitchen first so he could grab a large Ziploc bag and fill it with ice chips.
When the first task was complete, he jogged up the stairs to the bedroom he used to share with Stephanie every night. Her purse came into his line of vision straight away, and he went for the handle but stopped, mid-reach, to admire the room, which was exactly as he last remembered it. He brushed a hand over the top of the freshly laundered bed sheets and knelt down in front of them, putting his nose to the fabric and breathing in the scent of familiarity. Everything in the room was sweet and smelled of her, almost even more than she smelled like herself, and he desperately wanted it back.
Chris yearned to recapture the nights he'd spent cuddling with Stephanie in bed, peppering the back of her neck and shoulders with gentle kisses as he held her, until they both finally fell asleep in exhaustion. He longed to have her back but knew that couldn't happen until she owned up to everything she had done. When they were downstairs earlier, she revealed her true intentions and made clear she still hadn't fully recognized how much of a toll her actions had taken on Chris. As much as it pained him not to give in, he would have to find a way to make it without her for at least a while longer. As he spied his surroundings, Chris noted one of her blouses was tossed over the rolling chair in front of her computer desk, and he rose from his crouching position and walked over, picking it up and holding it close.
Oftentimes, Chris doubted his reasoning and even went so far as to wonder if he was stupid for loving Stephanie in the wake of such treason. She had done a number on him, much more than any other woman had, but then he had to remind himself the scope of damage felt worse because he loved her the most. He hadn't felt for a woman in his entire life the way he did for Stephanie, and that was why losing her cut so much deeper than anything he experienced in past times. As he held her shirt to his chest, the thought crossed his mind to keep it so he would have something of hers during lonelier times, but he couldn't possibly sneak it out of the house without her noticing.
He would have to settle for something smaller and less noticeable, so he glanced around a while before his eyes locked on her jewelery box. Stephanie always kept an eye on her jewelery, and it usually only took a split second for her to notice something missing if it was a piece she wore often, so Chris went in search of a forgotten gem she wouldn't quickly notice the absence of. He pulled the bottom drawer out, remembering that was where she kept the items she wore the least, and happened across a ring with a steel blue stone, set between a row of diamonds on either side. Chris had given it to Stephanie on Valentine's Day a couple years prior, purchasing it for her because the color of the stone had reminded him of her eyes.
It was, without a doubt, a meaningful gift to her, but Stephanie had strayed away from it over the years in favor of some of the larger pieces of jewelery Chris had gotten her shortly after. He couldn't be sure she wouldn't miss it, but Chris was running out of time and had to choose something, so he slipped the ring inside his pants pocket and fled from the room. Taking the stairs two at a time, he snatched the ice pack he left on the side table and slipped out of the front door, locking it behind himself and hoping Stephanie hadn't noticed he was gone longer than he should have been. Of course, she wouldn't be Stephanie if she didn't pick up on that type of stuff, and he was questioned immediately upon entering the vehicle.
"What were you doing in there? Renovating the entire house?" she spoke sarcastically, though her eyes shined in appreciation when he handed the ice pack over. She leaned forward and placed it directly on her ankle, hoping for some relief. Her pant leg was already rolled up and she had removed her shoe in his absence to make it easier to treat the affected area.
"I was trying to get you ice," he said, glossing right over her concerns.
"Thanks, it was nice of you to do," she replied. Chris felt guilty for lying, but it wasn't as if he was the only one dishing out deceit like it was going out of style, and he could give just as good as he got. He backed out quickly and sent a sidelong glance at the radio clock, tensing up when he realized they only had 25 minutes to get to the doctor. Stephanie must have sensed his concern, because she peeked over at him and added, "There's no need to rush. It's okay if we're a little bit late."
She was still hunched over her ankle, which was concerning to Chris, as he saw fit to point out. "Steph, just lay the bag on your ankle and sit up. It's dangerous to be that close to the airbag."
"I'm fine," she waved him off.
"You're not going to be if we have an accident and the airbag deploys, so sit up."
"It's not going to stay if I try to leave it there on its own," she demonstrated, placing the bag on her ankle and sitting up. Sure enough, it slid right off of her a few seconds later, and she sent Chris a pointed glance. "I told you."
"Flex your foot when you put it on so the bag can't just slide down," he directed.
"If I flex my foot, it hurts my ankle."
"I can stop the car and help you into the backseat so you can prop your leg up, but please sit up for now. You're worrying me," Chris said after she leaned down for a second time. Stephanie's eyes simmered with adoration, and she reached her left hand out, placing it down on his wrist. Chris kept his eyes on the road, but he felt her gaze and knew she was reaching out to him in her own way. "Do you want me to stop off so I can help you?"
"You're being really sweet."
"I'm just trying to keep you and the baby safe."
"If you're worried about me, it must mean you still care."
Chris shrugged and continued down the road, "I never claimed I didn't care anymore."
"Sometimes you act like you don't, though."
"It's like I said before, today's not about us. It's about our baby."
Stephanie surprised them both by bringing out the big guns in full force. "I don't understand why we can't get back together. We've been getting along fine over text message, and you obviously still care about me the same way I do about you. How come whenever I bring that up, you change the subject to the baby or get mad at me?"
"You just don't get it," Chris spoke lowly. "There's more to the situation than us getting along for the past couple of weeks. I'm not talking about this with you right now. We need to get to the doctor, find out about the baby, and have your ankle checked while we're there. Nowhere in the checklist did I mention us talking about getting back together, because that's not happening today."
"Why not?" she pressed forward boldly. Stephanie was aware she was risking pushing Chris further away than he had already strayed, but perhaps that was the same reason she felt she had nothing to lose. If he was slipping away, she might as well tug with all her might to lead him back to her, even if it backfired in the end.
"Do I need to call Linda and have her take you to the doctor?" he threatened. "I flew all the way from Florida to be here today, so I'd rather you didn't mess this up, but if you're planning on keeping this going, I'm not spending any more time out of my day around you."
"You're getting hostile over a simple question."
"It's not simple and that's exactly the problem. I was an idiot to even come up here today," he mumbled. "I should have known this would turn into a complete mess."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Stephanie frowned, taking it as a personal insult that he was wishing their special day away, which was essentially what he had done with his words. On Chris's end, he had simply tired of her turning every situation around to use as a driving force in bringing their relationship back together. The focus should have been on her pregnancy, but she was soaking up every ounce of attention she could get, and Chris found it childish and self-centered, so he went for the blunt response.
"It means I don't want to be with you, so stop asking and implying."
Stephanie was frozen in time for a solid half-minute before she began vigorously shaking her head, "You don't really mean that, Chris. You can't actually mean that."
"I do mean it. From now on when we talk, it's going to be about the baby and that's it."
"I can't promise to only stick to talking about the baby," Stephanie admitted. She hadn't expected Chris to respond the way he did, but she probably should have seen it coming. He was done beating around the bush with her, as was evident in the solid conviction with which he offered his final reply.
"Then after today, we won't speak at all until the baby is born."
