Lost It For

Chapter 10

"But grief makes a monster out of us sometimes . . . and sometimes you say and do things to the people you love that you can't forgive yourself for."

After having driven around for a while. The limo was parked. And Lucas and Brooke got out. Lucas walked over to the driver's window. Knocking on the glass. The driver rolled down the window and looked at him. Lucas gave him a handful of bills. The driver's eyes popping at the large amount tried to give some back. But Lucas refused and said. "You have been great and very respectful during this horrible time use the money to spoil yourself and spend time with your family." "I've got it from here enjoy the rest of your week." Lucas said. Closing the man's hand around the wad of money.

"Thank you so much Mr. Scott." "You have no idea what this money will mean for me and my family." The driver said. Putting the money away as he shook his hand.

Shaking his hand. As he waved goodbye. Watching the man drive away.

While he rejoined Brooke. At the front door of Karen's café. Rejoining his hand with hers. The couple walking in the door slowly. Lucas taking in the room of family and customers. The window open bringing fresh air into the room. The wind chimes ringing. As Lucas took a breath closing his eyes. A part of him still expected his mom to walk through the kitchen doors. Smiling while she would look up at him. Hugging him hello. Then going out into the dining area where she would greet her customers. And spend some time with kids who had come with their parents. The aroma of food and the flowing of drinks could be heard and smelled in almost every direction. The café walls were painted in multiple bright colors. The book cases full of carvings. Of flowers and names. The stereo was turned on playing music in the background. People started telling their own stories of Karen and the fun and happy times they had with her. As time went on laughter and tears. Filled the room. Haley began to walk to the stage. The microphone in front of her as she looked out to the crowd. Taking a breath. Then started to speak.

"I've known Karen since I was 8 years old." "I met her here after school with Lucas. She was warm and welcoming. She made you feel safe and cared about." "I know that she's here with us in spirit and is blown away at all the love she's receiving." "I don't think she ever realized how much of an impact and imprint she made on all of us." "But I know that this place, and everything she taught us will go on and stay with us." "For generations to come." "This is a song I wrote and will be performing for all of you."

Haley closed her eyes. Opening them as she began to sing. This song is called. The effect. Haley said. The room quieting down as her voice took over.

"The way you brought my heart into your hands."

"Taught me everything I thought I knew."

"Your words and actions changed me into someone new."

"Once lacking perspective as you looked into my eyes."

Showing me your heart. Somehow I was still taken by surprise."

"Your actions told me this but your words."

"Soothed my aching soul."

"In you I found a friend, a soulmate, My forever home."

"Love me now grip on tight."

"As if tonight is all that is left."

"The reality is goodbye means the ending."

"For you it is all just beginning."

"In you I find me."

"Take my hand and let me lead."

"One foot in front of the other."

"While we find our way home again."

Haley stopped singing.

The crowd erupting in cheers.

Haley stepped down from the stage and headed back towards her family.

The rest of the reception went on peacefully. Eventually ending.

Lucas and Brooke headed back to his house.

Brooke looked to Lucas. Wondering what he was feeling.

He had been keeping completely to himself.

The entire reception. Walking inside the house after him.

While she closed the door behind them.

Watching as he went straight up the stairs. Following behind him.

Looking as he went into his room. Passing Karen's door. That had remained shut since the day she died. Lucas reemerging with a letter in his hand.

Sitting down. On the bed. Brooke saw this and sat next to him.

"Putting her hand on his. As she started to speak.

"If you want me to leave you alone while you read this I can."

Brooke said softly.

"No stay please." Lucas said. Emotion thick in his voice.

Brooke nodding. Looking over at him.

Lucas slowly read his mom's name off the envelope.

Then opened it. Taking out the letter.

Unfolding it. Opening it as he began to read it.

Hearing his mom's voice as he read.

Dear Lucas

I'm writing this to you. The day before I tell you the truth. You think me making all of these plans and having these talks with certain people are for other things. I've known of my illness for months now. I just couldn't find the way to tell you. Everything is going so well for you now. The last thing I want is to get in the way of that. But I can't keep this to myself anymore. I wanted to be able to experience so many life changing moments with you. You're wedding and seeing you become a father. And live the life you've deserved to have. I'm sorry that I won't be. But please don't shut everyone out. When you are in pain. You tend to keep the people you love the most away. Letting your feelings consume you. When we lost Keith, it took every amount of love and strength I had for you. To be able to pull you out of that darkness. You have Nathan, Haley, Brooke, Deb, Peyton, Jake, Jamie. They need you. Because this loss effects them as well. I've been wanting to use my experience as a young mother. To help others. And did that with the creation of my home. For teen girls who are pregnant or have kids and need a safe place to raise their children. I included the address to the place inside. Stop by if you want. It would give you a chance to see me in a different light. I got very lucky with you. Being able to have the café and our home and the support of people who loved me and you. My boy I love you so much. The world is yours to take.

Whatever you decide to do. Will make me proud.

Love momma.

Lucas read wiping his eyes. Turning to Brooke.

As he started to speak.