Chapter Eighteen:

Patrick was nervous, which was ridiculous, because well, he was Patrick Drake. He didn't get nervous, especially not for a woman.

That's what was so bothersome for him. He didn't know why he was feeling like this. It's not like they were going to have sex. Were they? Was he so out of practice he couldn't recognize the signs anymore?

Maybe he was sick. Was there a disease in which your sexual intuition disappeared? Did he have it?

He looked around the bedroom where Robin told him to wait while she gathered some things. What was she gathering? Had he misread the signs? What if she was into some sort of weird bondage that he hadn't anticipated? What would he do if she came in with handcuffs? Maybe that would be fun?

Why the fuck was he thinking things like that? What the hell was wrong with him?

"Patrick?"

He jumped and looked up from his daze.

"Oh, hi."

She walked to him, concern all over her face.

"Are you okay? I was talking to you for a full minute and you didn't move. Do you have a headache or anything?" she touched his face and leaned her cheek to his forehead. "You don't feel warm," she stepped back and looked at him.

He blinked a few times, taking in her tight tank top and boy shorts that she changed into. Her chest was even with his face and he didn't know where to look. He knew where he wanted to look, but...

He was in trouble.

"I'm okay. I think I'm just tired and my mind was wandering. I'm good," he cleared his throat and went to stand up, but his leg cramped up.

"Shit," he sat back down on the bed and sucked in his breath.

"Okay, that's enough. You need to let me help you," she said and crossed her arms. "Can you change into a pair of shorts?"

"Why?"

She blinked and smiled.

"Well because I was going to give you a massage and I think putting lotion on your pants is a bad idea."

"Oh, right," he laughed nervously. What the hell was his problem?

"Patrick? Are you really okay? I mean," she stopped and then stepped back. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. I make you uncomfortable, don't I? I told you about my HIV and now I brought you to my bed and you look like you want to puke. I'm really sorry. I'll be in the other room for the night. You just rest," she said and turned around to walk out and leave him alone before her tears spilled over her cheeks.

"No," he stood up and went after her.

"Robin, stop," he called after her.

She turned and his heart broke at the tears in her eyes.

"Please don't say anything. I'm so completely humiliated and I think I should just leave you alone," she said and wiped her eyes.

He walked to her and pulled her against him, crashing his mouth to hers and kissing her hungrily, with a passion that caught both of them by surprise.

"Stop," she said breathlessly as she gently pushed him away.

"Please let me explain," he said softly.

"You don't have to," she choked out.

He took her hand and led her back to the bedroom, closing the door.

"Have you ever had an experience that surprised you? Have you ever felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be but it scared the shit out of you?"

She tried to follow him, but she was confused.

"Patrick, just tell me what you want."

He faced her and shrugged.

"I want you."

Her heart flip-flopped and she stood frozen to her spot.

"Robin?"

"I'm just trying to understand what you mean," she said. "You want me, but you're scared of me?"

He smiled and walked closer to her.

"I'm not scared of you, I'm scared of me."

She walked to the bed and sat down.

"Patrick, this is silly. You are being really sweet, but I'm a big girl and I don't need to be let down easy. It's okay. I hear you."

He wanted to scream at his own inability to get this out.

"I'm falling for you and I don't want to mess it up. I haven't been with a woman in a long time and I've never cared about anyone like I find myself caring about you. I'm scared of my feelings because I'm afraid if you leave, I won't ever be happy again. I realize that sounds completely ridiculous and clingy and it's not my intention, but thinking of your hands on my leg and your body close to mine just makes me crazy. I am afraid I want more. I'm afraid I won't just want your hands on my thigh."

She patted the bed next to her and he walked over, sitting down.

"Thank you," she smiled. "For telling me what you're thinking and feeling."

"Am I alone in this? Are you feeling something, too?" he asked.

"I'm feeling something," she smiled. "And I don't want it to stop. I don't want you to leave. I don't want to be alone," she shrugged and looked at her hands. "But I don't know that I'm worth the praise you keep giving me."

"Are you married?"

Her eyes shot up at him.

"No."

"Have you murdered your past boyfriends?"

She smiled.

"Only the ones who spoke in riddles."

Laughing, he reached and stroked her cheek.

"You're worthy of all of this, Robin. You have to know that."

She covered his hand with hers and smiled.

"I think you need to let me help your leg," she said. "I also think we should get to know each other before we do anything else."

He looked crushed.

"What do you mean by 'anything else'?"

"No sex yet. I want you to see what can happen when we connect on another level," she said seductively.

"Okay, but how long are we talking?"

She laughed.

"Let's just see how it goes," she stood up. "Now put on some shorts and let me help you."

He grinned.

"You think this will be worse for me, but you don't know how much you're going to want this," he motioned to his body.

"I'll try and survive," she rolled her eyes and watched him walk into the bathroom to change.

Tommy sat up in the bedroom and watched Natalie sleep. He took his headphones off after listening to his wife sing to him. Brittany had recorded an album just for him as an anniversary gift and he listened to it at night. The nights were the worst.

He looked at the ring on his finger and he ran his hand through his hair. He wished he had her ring back. He wished he had something of hers from that last moment. The ring she wore had been his mother's, and he hoped that meant his parents were with her.

He had Natalie, and she kept him alive. Without her, he would have given up the day he heard of the crash. She was the part of Brittany that was the best. She looked like her and spoke like her and there were times, when she glanced at him, that he saw his wife.

He would make it his life's work to keep her safe and loved. She was the best of both of them, and her courage was infectious. His beautiful miracle baby who had blossomed into a gorgeous and sweet little girl. She was a survivor. Like Tommy, she lost her mother and pushed forward because she knew her daddy needed her.

He missed his wife. Plain and simple. He ached for her touch and he longed for her arms to hold him. She made him feel alive and she challenged him to dream. Losing her had destroyed something within him that he knew he would never get back.

He missed her and he felt, in his heart, that she was there. Sometimes, when he was in their bed, he could feel her arms around him and he would sit up and look for her. It had been over a year, but to him it was five minutes.

"Daddy?" Natalie sat up and wiped her eyes.

"I'm here," he walked to the bed as she cried. "Shhh, don't cry baby."

"I had a bad dream," she said into his chest.

"Can you tell me what it was about?"

"I had a dream you went away and I was all alone," she cried. "I don't want to be alone."

His eyes filled with tears as he rocked her.

"Baby you know I will never leave you. You and I will always be together, okay? I am here and I will take care of you."

"I miss mommy and Tramp," she said softly.

"Me too," he said. "Maybe when we get home we should look at getting a new pet? Maybe some fish?"

She sat back and looked at him.

"I can't play with a fish."

"Okay, so what do you want to get?"

She was quiet for a minute.

"I have to think about it. You know it's not good to make such big decisions in the middle of the night."

He laughed at her words.

"Who told you that?"

"Mommy. She always said that the thundering silence made things sound bigger than they were, and we should always wait for the light of day to make big choices."

"Mommy was very smart," he said, choked up.

"Of course she was. She picked you to be my daddy."

He hugged her, grateful for the immense blessings in his life.

Chapter Nineteen:

Matt was doing great. Patrick was in with him and Maxie was waiting in the hall with Robin.

"Patrick is amazing, Robin. Matt was able to respond to commands last night and even though he wasn't fully awake, I know he is going to be just fine."

Robin was so happy for Maxie.

"He is the best at what he does, that's why I found him." She smiled at her cousin.

Maxie hugged her and sat back, wiping her eyes.

"I don't know how to ever repay you for all you've done for me," she shrugged. "I don't deserve such good fortune, but I know Matt does. He has so much good to do in this world."

"You do deserve this, Maxie. You deserve to have a lifetime of happiness," Robin smiled at her.

They both looked up as Tommy walked to them with Natalie. Robin grinned at them and motioned for them to sit down.

"How is your husband doing?" he asked Maxie.

"Great, thanks to Dr. Drake. I'm Maxie, I don't think we've officially met," Maxie held out her hand.

"Oh, sorry, I'm Tom Williams, Patrick's friend and this is my daughter, Natalie."

"We met. I gave her husband my stone," Natalie said quietly. Robin noticed her subdued nature.

"It's nice to meet you, especially since you had your hand in my husband's brain, too."

Tommy laughed and looked at his daughter who yawned.

"Hey, Natalie, would you like to go to my office and find something to do? I might have a few things you would like," Robin smiled at her.

Tommy looked at her and sighed.

"Is it close by? I don't think a lot of walking is a good idea," he spoke quietly.

Robin nodded.

"It's actually just down the hall," she smiled. "If you don't think it's a good idea, that's fine. I just thought she looked a little down."

He nodded and looked at his daughter.

"Baby do you want to go to Robin's office for a little while?"

"No thank you," she said and crawled into Tommy's lap.

Robin's heart broke for the little girl.

"Okay, maybe later," she smiled and Tommy kissed Natalie's forehead.

Patrick walked out and smiled at all of them sitting there.

Maxie shot up.

"How is he?"

"You should go inside and see him," Patrick said and laughed when Maxie ran into the room.

"He's doing great. His neurological function is improving and he is showing no ill effects of the surgery. I'm confident he will be fine."

"That's awesome," Tommy smiled and Robin nodded.

"You did an amazing job, Patrick, thank you."

"He wanted to see you, too," Patrick told her and she stood up to go in.

"Are you going to be here for a minute?" she asked before she walked in.

"Yes. We'll wait for you," Patrick smiled.

Robin walked into the room and Patrick turned to his friends.

"Nat? What's wrong?" Patrick asked the little girl.

"I feel yucky," she said softly and Tommy looked at Patrick, the fear in his eyes evident.

"Okay, so we need to fix that," Patrick smiled at her.

"I think I'm going to take her back to the hotel and let her rest. Will you be okay here?"

"Of course. I'll make sure Matt is stable and then I'll come back to the hotel," he said.

"You don't have to do that. You can go back to Robin's," Tommy stood up and held Natalie.

"I know, but I would like to be with you guys, okay?"

Tommy nodded and left with Natalie.

Robin walked out a few minutes later and saw Patrick sitting alone.

"Hey, where are Tommy and Natalie?"

"He took her back to the hotel to sleep. She isn't feeling well and Tommy is worried. I hate this so much, Robin. It's so unfair."

She sat down next to him and rubbed his back.

"Well, then I think we need to try and help them both," she said.

"Maxie walked out and smiled at them.

"Where's Tom?" Maxie asked.

Patrick smiled at the name Tommy gave her.

"He took his daughter to the hotel for a bit," Robin smiled.

"Oh, well I told Elizabeth to stop by. I thought they should meet," Maxie smiled.

"Why? Is she a pediatrician?" Patrick asked.

Maxie laughed.

"Hardly. She's a nurse, but I thought maybe she could help him. He's too handsome to be alone."

Patrick stood up and looked at Robin.

"I'm going to head back to the hotel," he said, needing to leave.

Maxie looked at Robin and then back at Patrick.

"I'm sorry, I thought he was single. Are you two together? I mean that's totally cool, but I wasn't getting that vibe from him."

Robin turned bright red and looked at Maxie.

"Tommy and Patrick are just friends."

"Did you get that vibe from me?" Patrick asked her.

"I think I should go," Maxie laughed and walked back into Matt's room.

"I'm sorry," Robin said. "She is very blunt."

"It's no big deal. It's not the first time someone has mistaken Tommy and me for a couple."

Robin could see that he was upset and she wasn't sure if it was just because of Natalie.

"Patrick, walk with me to my office for a minute, okay?"

He nodded.

"Okay."

They walked to her office and sat down, Patrick looking deflated.

"Tell me what's going on with you," she said softly. "I can see you're about to lose it and I want to help. What's happening?"

He felt ridiculous. He was fighting back tears and he never showed emotion like this. He stood up to leave.

"I need to go. I can't do this, Robin," he said brokenly.

She walked to him and took his hand, stopping him.

"Hey, talk to me, please," she reached up to stroke his cheek and he buried his head in her neck, allowing her to hold him and help him.

"Shh," she held him and rubbed his back. "It's going to be okay."

They stood like that for a while before they sat down.

"I'm sorry," he wiped his face. "I don't know what came over me."

She smiled and took his hand in hers.

"Natalie will get the help she needs, Patrick. We will make sure of it, okay?"

His chin quivered as he nodded.

"She's had to fight every moment since she was born, Robin. She was doing really well, and when she lost her mother, everything went downhill. Tommy put all of his energy into helping her and to be honest, it was the only reason he made it through that time. If anything happens to Nat, then I will lose them both."

"Patrick, look at me," she said firmly. "We will help them, okay?" she couldn't stand to see him so upset. She had also come to adore Natalie and wanted the little girl to feel better.

"I think we should both go back to the hotel and spend some time with them, okay?"

Patrick nodded and went to get up when his phone rang. He spoke a minute and put his head in his hands.

"What is it?" she asked after he hung up.

"They are coming back in. Tommy got the results of Natalie's blood and urine and they need to start dialysis again."

Robin felt her heart sink.

"Okay. I'll make a few calls and we will get the best care ready for her."

"Matt is the best. What are we going to do? What is Tommy going to do?" Patrick shook his head and Robin had no answer.

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