A million thank you's to my beta reader Hotladykisses - who has probably spent waaaay to much time on this chapter, and the next handful going forward. If there is anything you don't like, blame that on me as she probably argued against it! :) lol

Thank you to all of those how have taken the time to write a comment or review. I can't tell you how much those little words mean to me, and how they fuel a writers soul. Even if it's not for my story, I really encourage you to take a moment and just send some appreciation to any of your favorite writers. It is often the little bit of motivation that is needed when we are stuck on a chapter, or the confidence we need to move forward with a story or an idea.

So thank you for providing that!

XO


Lexa stood and watched as her two guards unhooked the cart while she roused Clarke from her sleep. "Come Klark." She caressed her cheek, watching as the blond's eyes fluttered open. "We need to get you inside." Moving aside, one of the men cautiously pulled her up, taking care to not let the fur fall from around her body. Lexa fought the urge to keep her hand under the blond as she was carried away, just in case Clarke suddenly shifted and fell, not keen on trusting anyone else to handle the delicate body. She let theguard lead her inside the cavern, slowly making their way through the entrance. Clarke's face was knit tightly in pain despite the care to avoid jostling her body.

"I'm sorry, Wanheda" he offered through a bemused grin. Lexa rolled her eyes at the action, knowing he would boast later about carrying the great Wanheda in his arms.

After entering the cavern, Lexa's eyes adjusted and she inhaled deeply the warm mineral scent. She pointed to a space at the edge of the pool where it would be the warmest, giving her guard enough room to lay Clarke down on the furs she had spread out as a base. Clarke nestled herself into the furs, shifting slightly against the pull of her tired muscles before snoozing comfortably once again. "Wait outside, keep a wary eye," Lexa ordered her guards, watching as they nodded and left the cave.

Lexa quickly gathered wood and began to make a small fire next to the wall of the cave, knowing the heat would quickly fill the space. Placing the kettle on top of the fire, she glanced around the dimly lit chamber and frowned slightly at the atmosphere. She grabbed a small stick and then moved around the room, lighting the candles left from previous visits. The cave slowly changed from a dark dank space into something warm and inviting.

Sitting down next to Clarke, Lexa watched her sleep with a small smile on her face. She couldn't help the feeling that overwhelmed her every time she looked at Clarke's face. Her hand found its way to the sky girl's cheekbone, marveling at the strong jaw line, before languidly moving down to her chin and up to her lips. Clarke smiled at the gesture, leaning into the touch before opening her eyes to take in the freshly lit space.

"It's beautiful in here," she husked out, her voice cracking slightly from lack of use.

"How do you feel?" Lexa asked, letting her touch linger once again on Clarke's cheekbone, before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, not quite ready to give up the feeling of soft skin.

"Better," she responded, smiling softly.

Lexa stood and grabbed a cup, took the box of herbs out and poured the hot water. She frowned slightly, staring at the cup. "Do you think it's too soon to have you drink some more?"

"Does it matter?" Clarke husked from beneath the furs. "It's not like I can overdose on herbs."

Lexa bit her lip as she stared at the opened container. What if she could? She remembered Nyko's warning before brushing it aside - he would have told her if there was a concern. She didn't want to risk Clarke's fever returning after so many hours of having finally broken it. She nodded to herself and made her way back to Clarke, rolling her eyes at the blond's stubbornness as she watched her struggle to lift herself up. "Here, let me." Lexa helped her sit up slowly, reclining her against a boulder before handing the cup over.

"This tastes like ass," Clarke commented with a scrunch of her nose.

"Ass?" Lexa asked, biting back a smile. "Don't waste it, you need to drink it all."

"Why?" Clarke pressed, wrinkling her nose. "My fever is gone, I'm feeling better."

"It will keep the fever from returning, and there's not much left so don't waste a single drop." Lexa moved the kettle aside, smiling slightly. "I had no idea you had such an intimate knowledge of what 'ass' tastes like."

Clarke rolled her eyes, grasping the cup with both hands, her eyes scanning the cave. "What is this place?"

"We have been using the healing waters of this cave for generations." Lexa began to unbuckle her boots, slowly sliding them off as she glanced around. "I have come here myself to heal after many battles. Something about the water aids the body." Standing, Lexa unbuckled her armor and took off her coat, placing it next to Clarke's fur bed.

"What did that man call me?" Clarke asked from behind the cup, "Wanheda? What does that mean?"

Lexa glanced up at her as she arranged her clothes. "Not something you need to worry about right now."

"I've heard it before, at a trading post; they were searching for "Wanheda", Clarke pressed, watching Lexa.

Lexa inhaled deeply, rolling around a simple explanation for a complex meaning. "You know what Heda means?" She tested her options, glancing up at Clarke.

"Of course, it's your title." Clarke rolled her eyes slightly, waiting for Lexa to answer. "You've arranged your clothes like three times already. What aren't you telling me?"

Lexa frowned, staring at her hands. She had moved her coat and armour a few times while she struggled with a way to answer the question, trying to appear much busier than she actually was. "Wanheda is someone who comes less than once in a generation, if that. She or he is considered incredibly powerful. Clan leaders like the Azgeda believe that if you kill Wanheda, you absorb their power. It is the only title that could potentially supercede a Commander." Lexa stared at Clarke, watched her absorb the information intently.

"Commander of what?" Clarke asked quietly, finally catching on to the meaning.

"Death," Lexa answered, "Commander of death."

Clarke glanced away then closed her eyes, her body shuddering slightly at the name. "Because of the mountain?"

"Yes." Lexa wanted to add more, to remind her of her strength, her intelligence, humility and faith in the goodness of people. But she knew that Clarke was not ready to hear that, not ready to accept her place as a leader. She watched Clarke drink quietly from the cup for a few more moments before she furrowed her brow, looking around. "I forgot the change of clothes. Don't move," she ordered, briefly catching the rolling of the blond's blue eyes. She walked to the entrance, called one of the guards and asked him to unravel the bundle of clothes from her horse.

"Fuck!" Clarke yelled from inside the cavern, pain laced in her cry.

Without a thought, Lexa ran back inside, ready to protect her from whatever was hurting her. She scanned the space, and found Clarke hunched over, wincing in pain at the edge of the water. "Klark?" she questioned, closing the space between them quickly, "What happened?"

Clarke's blue eyes looked up as she grimaced in pain. "I…" she inhaled softly and grit her teeth. "I tried to undress, but it hurts too much." She winced again, her breath coming in uneven gasps as she clutched at the side where her broken rib was.

Lexa shook her head softly and helped Clarke adjust herself in a more comfortable position. "You need to let me help you, Klark. Give me a moment to finish preparing." Her guard had followed her in, and was standing at the entrance, unsure of how much further he should intrude on his Commander. "Thank you," she offered, taking the pouch from him before dismissing him.

She moved quickly, opening the pouch and laying everything out so it would be easy to grab once needed. With help from the fire, the temperature of the cavern had increased dramatically, but she still shivered slightly as she took off her pants, then quickly peeled off her chainmail top before kneeling at Clarke's side, leaving her tank top on. "We should remove your pants at least."

Clarke glanced down, sighing lightly before nodding. "Can you…" she trailed off, biting her lip before glancing at Lexa, "help me?"

Lexa moved the fur away, trying to figure out how to move the blond without causing more harm. "Can I..?" Lexa trailed off, trying to indicate her intentions, but struggled to find the right words to explain what she wanted to do. She settled on alternating a glance at Clarke's eyes and her pants, hoping that conveyed the intention. Clarke cocked her head slightly before nodding, and watched as Lexa untied the pants, trying to hide the tremor in her hands as best as she could while she slowly pulled the pants down. She helped Clarke lift her shirt over her head, leaving them both in tank tops and underwear.

Clarke tried to sit up on her own, but the pull against her ribs immediately caused her to double over in pain. Without a second thought, Lexa reached out and wrapped her arms around the blond. She tested Clarke's weight and frowned to herself before picking her up. She's lost so much weight, she thought as she lifted her off the ground and quickly made her way into the pool. She felt the warm water wrap around her body as she sunk down, laying Clarke's back against her body.

She could feel the tension in the sky girl's form, despite the comforting feeling of the water. "Relax, Klark," she whispered into her ear, pulling her down into the water gently. "Trust me," she murmured as she felt Clarke sink into her.

"This water," Clarke husked out after a moment, her head lolling softly against Lexa's shoulder, "feels amazing."

Lexa hummed her approval and reached over the edge to grab one of the bottles, pouring some of its content into her hand. Carefully, she began scrubbing it into Clarke's hair. She let her fingers run through her scalp and Clarke moaned a soft approval, sinking deeper into Lexa's body. Lexa poured a small amount onto her own hair, and quickly massaged it through her own scalp and rinsed, relishing the feeling of cleanliness. In Polis, she was used to daily baths, but that was a luxury that was harder to get outside the gates of the big city.

Putting the bottle back, Lexa shifted Clarke slightly to rinse her hair, washing out the oil and dirt from the blond locks. She couldn't help but inhale the soft scent of citrus and mint that emanated each time Clarke shifted her head. The scent seemed to compound Clarke's natural aroma, making Lexa want to press herself against the blond's soft frame even more.

"Is this ok?" Lexa whispered as she opened her legs and let Clarke slide off her lap and onto the stone.

Clarke nodded, trying to sit up fully, before gasping and letting her body fall back against Lexa. "It hurts," she explained.

"Just lean against me and let your body float in the water." Lexa reached for the bag with the soap stone inside it, careful not to jostle Clarke around as she stretched out of the water. Even so, she still heard a soft moan as Clarke's sore body shifted.

She adjusted Clarke, pressing her against her chest in order to make sure she didn't get cold by floating to the surface. She lathered up the soap and slowly rubbed it against Clarke's arm, letting her get used to the feeling of the soap on her skin. Lifting Clarke slightly, she moved her hair out of the way, and rubbed the soap onto her neck and ears. How come her skin is still so soft? she mused as she lathered up the soap in her hand before reclining the blond's head back. She gently scrubbed the blond's face, hearing a soft sigh of contentment, before using the soap stone to quickly scrub her own face and neck.

She shifted her focus back to Clarke. Taking her time, she moved the soap against Clarke's other arm, careful to avoid pressing against the healing gash, letting the blond relax. Slowly, she let her hand move down, gliding against the outside of Clarke's thigh. She felt the blond tense at the movement. "Should I stop?" Lexa asked quietly, afraid of scaring her.

Clarke shook her head slightly, turning to face Lexa as best as she could. "It feels nice," she breathed out. Lexa nodded, continuing to move her hand against the blond's thigh, reaching as far as she could on the outside of her leg before switching to the other. Out of respect, she avoided her center entirely, leaving a wide space as she cleaned the blond. Reflexively, she closed her eyes when she felt Clarke's hands rest against her own thighs, drawing soft circles with her thumbs. She tried to focus on keeping her breathing even, despite the tingling sensation that Clarke's hand was sending through her entire body with every swipe of her thumb.

Focus on the task at hand, she chastised herself as she realized she had thoroughly cleaned every inch of Clarke's exposed flesh. She lifted Clarke's shirt slowly, testing the blond's tolerance for letting her clean the rest of her body. She let her hand slide against the taut muscles that reflexively flexed as she slipped her fingers across them hardly remembering the soapstone she was holding. She was careful to avoid pressing against the healing wounds that Nyko had closed, gliding gently around the spot where a scar was forming.

As she moved the soap across her abdomen, she felt Clarke arch slightly into her touch as she guided her hand higher, moving the shirt up to get better access and maintaining as soft of a caress as she could against her sore ribs. A gentle murmur of satisfaction reached her ears as Clarke arched her head back again, resting it fully against Lexa's shoulder. Fuck, she thought to herself as her eyes rolled back instinctively at the blond's action, this is not the time or place, she chastised herself, trying to keep herself focused on keeping things professional.

Lexa slowly let the soap glide across Clarke's stomach with her left hand, while her right hand followed its path in spite of herself, enjoying the free touch of skin. She inched further and further up the blond's body, her heart racing faster at every inch of flesh she was granted access to.

She could feel Clarke's chest rise and fall as she turned her head back towards Lexa, her nose softly touching her cheek as Clarke's pants hit her skin. Lexa tried to ignore the pooling heat at the apex of her thighs, the way her skin reacted to Clarke's gentle touch. She tried to ignore the need to turn her head slightly and meet Clarke's panting mouth with her own. She tried to focus on her task.

But she couldn't ignore the heat in her core. She couldn't ignore the way her heart bounded blood across her body, the sound of it reverberating in her ears so loud that she was certain Clarke could hear every drop of blood as it screamed through her veins. She couldn't ignore the dizzying effect of having Clarke in her arms.

Lexa's fingers continued to glide across Clarke's body and she moaned softly, squeezing Lexa's thighs when she stopped moving at the base of her breast.

Lexa stilled, unsure of what to do.

She realized she was panting too and opened her eyes. She glanced at Clarke, whose brows were knit in frustration at her stilled hand. Her eyes fell on the blond's parted lips and the deep red blush spread across her cheeks. She wanted desperately to kiss her, to taste her, but something in the back of her mind nudged the thought away, warning her. Clarke hummed lightly her approval as Lexa's hand picked up its movement, gliding down her stomach before coming back up, as if attempting to clean every possible inch of the flat expanse. She stopped just above the fabric of her underwear. I should stop, she thought as she watched Clarke's relaxed face. I don't want to, her brain reminded her, nudging the guilt away. She kept her eyes trained on Clarke's face as she slipped the stone higher and higher moving her hand slowly towards the inside of her thigh in small circular movements with one hand, the pretext of cleaning the part of the thigh she had previously ignored urging her forward, while her other hand continued to glide across her stomach.

I need to make baths a daily occurrence, Lexa mused, biting her lip slightly at the thought. She glanced at the blond again, her brow furrowing at how flushed she looked. Something's not right, she thought, adjusting her slightly. "Klark?" she half whispered into the silent cavern. Clarke only raised her eyebrows in response, her eyes closed. "How are you feeling?"

The blond nodded slightly, slurring her answer. "Reeaally good…"

Lexa felt a twinge of panic at the drastic change in the blond. There is no way this is all Klark, she thought, her hand stopping its movement, it must be the tea.

Clarke suddenly pushed her hips back against her, driving Lexa's hand against the inside of her thigh. Lexa bit her lip and threw her head back, forcing herself to swallow a moan at the feel of Clarke pressing against her own core. She panted slightly, realizing she had dropped the stone, and pushed Clarke lightly off her.

What am I doing? Lexa widened her eyes at the sudden realization of her own movements. A deep red blush worked its way across her cheeks, the sudden need to put distance between them forcing her into action. "Klark," she husked, her voice thick with unanswered need, "I need to grab the soap."

Slightly grunting her displeasure, Clarke reached up slowly, letting go of Lexa's thighs as she took hold of the pool edge, her body in suspended animation as she let the water keep her afloat. Lexa grabbed at fresh soap stone from the bag and placed it in Clarke's other hand, making sure it was firmly in her grasp before diving down to find the dropped bar.

She kept her eyes closed while she was running her hands against the rough bottom of the pool. Gods, what am I doing? she thought in a panic. She allowed herself to sink fully into the water, trying to clear the lusty haze from her brain. The pool was deeper the further from the edge she moved, but after a few moments of blind search, she was able to locate the soap and popped back up, her lungs demanding air.

Clarke had maneuvered around, finally figuring out how to use the water to float and not pull against her ribs. She was rubbing the bar between her hands, her cheeks blushed and pupils fully dilated as she watched Lexa move forward. "I need to clean the rest of my body," she said softly, glancing away.

Lexa nodded, turning to face the opposite wall to lift her own shirt, that she tossed over the water's edge. She ran the soap across her body, feeling refreshed as it cleaned what seemed like weeks of dirt and grime off her skin. The warm water and air were soothing and she let herself sink down after she finished washing, too embarrassed to face Clarke just yet.

Clarke broke the silence. "I can't reach." Lexa turned quickly to find her hunched over, frustrated tears threatening to fall at her inability to move her body like she wanted to. Lexa swam over, lifting Clarke's foot slowly, careful to avoid causing the blond any pain as she floated on her back.

"Let me," she offered soothingly, letting the soap gently rub against her foot. Clarke nodded gratefully, closing her eyes and wincing in pain. "Does it hurt?" she asked, moving up her thigh.

Clarke nodded, biting her lip. "A little."

Lexa moved to the other foot, resuming her gentle cleaning. She watched Clarke intently, noticing the blond wipe her eyes. "It hurts that bad?" she asked, stopping her movement.

Clarke shook her head, avoiding Lexa's gaze. "It's just…" Clarke sniffled slightly, finding her voice again, "it's been a really long time since I've allowed someone to be gentle with me. I didn't feel like I deserved it. "

Lexa couldn't find the words to respond, her heart breaking at the girl's admission. The guilt of leaving her at the mountains door flashed hot through her. I made this happen, she thought as she tried to focus on finishing washing Clarke. She cleared her throat, trying to find the right way to apologize, to cut the tension that seemed to have settled between them before moving next to her.

"Klark." She tested her voice, wanting it to be gentle instead of the robotic cadence of the Commander. "We do what we have to do in order to survive. It's not personal…"

Clarke shook her head, cutting Lexa off. "It is to me," she whispered, turning away.

"Klark." Lexa tried to catch her gaze, tried to force her to look at her, but the blond stubbornly refused. Lexa growled as she shifted in front of Clarke, putting her hands on the ledge on either side of the blond, forcing Clarke to look at her.

"It was not your fault." She emphasized each word, wanting Clarke to understand, to believe, to let go.

"What do you care?" Clarke bit back, glaring at her.

Affronted, Lexa leaned back to take Clarke fully in, her wild eyes and flushed face, the hurt and anger etched deep in the furrows of her brow. "Klark, of course I care," she responded softly, leaning in without thinking. "I know I'm not the person you want me to be…"

Lexa caught Clarke's dramatic eye roll and just barely heard her response. "You can say that again."

Ignoring it, she continued. "Klark, I'm so confused when we're together. I feel like…" She looked for the right words to describe everything happening inside her body, put into words the feelings constantly buzzing around her mind. She looked down at the water, inhaling sharply. "I feel like my heart and my mind are at war with each other, because my heart is furious with me for following my head and I'm choking on those emotions." Lexa wanted to stop talking, to stop laying everything out, but she couldn't. The need to get it out while she could, while she had the strength to bare her heart to Clarke, was too strong. "And I know, I know I'm going to let you down and I can't stomach the thought of it…"

"Lexa -" Clarke was shaking her head, refusing to look at her. "I..."

"Klark, please!" Panic filled her, and the fear that she would never get to say what she needed to say, that Clarke would cut her off, wrapped itself around her throat and squeezed tight.

"Lexa, I can't trust you." Clarke finished, answering some unasked question that lay between them. "And I don't want to. Nothing has ever hurt like this before, and I don't want to hear that maybe we can fix this, or that we can get it right some day. Because we never could, we never will."

"We can, I wish you believed we could," Lexa whispered. She stared at her, numb, unable to speak. I wish I could say what I'm feeling, she thought, I wish I wasn't so scared to let these words out.

"I'd like to head back now," Clarke demanded. Lexa chewed on the inside of her cheek, wanting to argue, but not finding a single valid reason to.

She was about to stand up and grab a towel when she realized she had thrown her shirt too far to be able to reach it. She bit her lip slightly, trying to come up with a plan to get her and Clarke out of the water without exposing herself even more than she already had .

"I won't look." Clarke spoke up, her head slightly cocked to the side. Lexa looked her over, impassive, as the blond rolled her eyes. "It's clear I can't get out of here alone. It doesn't take a mind reader to know what you're thinking," she added.

Lexa blushed lightly. "Close your eyes," she commanded, coming around to Clarke's other side, placing her arms around Clarke's body and picking her up and out of the water. Her bare chest was resting against Clarke's arm, and despite everything she couldn't help the way her skin reacted when it came in contact with Clarke. She felt a blush spread across her chest and crawl up her throat as she tried to avoid looking into the sky girl's blue eyes, which were watching her curiously. She put Clarke down on the furs, turning quickly to grab a towel and wrapped it around her body. "Let's get you dry, and back to bed quickly."


Sailor Sayuri : I know I've said it before, but you continue to be the wind beneath my wings! Thank you for being so fantastic! Hopefully you're enjoy the chapter, for medicinal purposes...of course ;)

Jedi Caro : Thank you! I wasn't sure about posting it as an individual chapter, but I love the story in it, and the side it shows of Lexa; the community behind the Trikru. I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope your feels are ready for just a little bit of angst. Where they come out on the other side, is hopefully worth it!

xxDark Angel Babyxx : Updated as requested! I'm hoping you enjoyed the little dalliance at the hot springs ;)

Guest :* Thank you for that little comment, made me smile!