Episode: 20x13 ("A Story of More Woe")

Genre: Hurt/comfort/drama

Rating: T

xxxxxxxxxx

"Just us. Just family."

Olivia smiles down at Amanda after the younger woman's comments, the hospital room bursting with joy as their squad gathers around the bed, Jesse perched on Carisi's hip and Billie being rocked gently in her mother's arms. There is a notable absence in the large, brightly-colored space, Dr. Al nowhere to be seen despite his baby's recent entrance into the world, and Olivia speculating on the reason for his disappearance.

When Jesse starts squirming and wants to be released from Carisi's hold so she can get down on the floor and sprint from one end of the room to the other in a flurry of hyper excitement, Olivia takes the opportunity to lean in close to Amanda now that the male members of their team are occupied with chasing after the little girl. "I take it you didn't accept Al's proposal, then?"

Amanda shrugs and smooths a hand over the tiny hat on Billie's head, her gaze darting away to focus on the window and the buildings beyond. "Remember when we were in the interrogation room a few months ago, and I said that I didn't love him?"

"Yeah," Olivia replies softly, recalling how one of their suspects had put Amanda on the spot during a very intense conversation back in the fall, the younger woman handling the discussion with grace and control in spite of the deeply personal topic.

"Well, that hasn't changed," Amanda continues quietly, the blonde detective seemingly lost in thought as blue eyes drift away from the window to linger on her daughter's face. "It just didn't seem right to marry him."

Olivia simply nods in response, trying to hide her immense relief and choosing not to give a verbal reply as she squeezes Amanda's shoulder in silent support, intent on keeping her deeper feelings for the other woman a secret. She refrains from asking the questions that are weighing heavily on her mind, wondering what Amanda is going to do now and pondering the extreme awkwardness of the other woman's living situation if she decides to stay with Al for the foreseeable future.

Now is not the time to be putting a voice to such serious concerns; not when the hospital room is alive with happiness and laughter, Jesse letting out a loud squeal as she dodges the playful pursuit of Fin and Carisi, both men making a dramatic show of leaning against the wall to catch their breaths as the three-year-old carries on with her mad dash around the room. Amanda has to warn her child to calm down, amused chuckles escaping Olivia's mouth as she watches the spectacle with fondness, glad that their latest heartbreaking case is over and done with and she is now ensconced in this beautiful scene of family togetherness.

When afternoon turns into evening and Jesse has grown tired and cranky, Carisi offers to stay with her at Amanda's place for the night, Fin also saying goodbye as the older man leaves with his co-worker and the little girl. Olivia calls Lucy to ask if she can remain with Noah a bit longer, unable to tear herself away from Amanda and Billie just yet, and wanting to make sure the younger woman is doing okay after all of the upheaval this day has brought.

Regardless of her best efforts to remain awake and engaged, the severe lack of sleep catches up with Olivia, acute exhaustion getting the better of her and eventually drifting into slumber on the couch when a rare span of quiet descends on the room as Amanda feeds the baby. She flits in and out of strange dreams, rising briefly to the surface of consciousness before being sucked back under once again, aware that she needs to go home to her son but unable to rouse herself enough to move from the comfortable cushions.

When she is finally fully awake again, heavy eyelids cracking open and blurry vision focusing, Olivia is alarmed to see Amanda hunched over in the middle of the hospital bed, soft cries piercing the air as a thin set of shoulders shake vigorously. Billie is sound asleep in an infant cot right next to the bed, the baby blissfully unaware of her mother's distress, Olivia swinging her legs over the side of the couch and springing to her feet in order to hurry to Amanda's side.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" she inquires gently, stroking a tender palm down the back of Amanda's head to smooth through the unruly golden waves. "Are you in pain?"

Amanda doesn't answer, the low whimpering turning into distraught sobs and Olivia's worry heightening by the second as she observes the agony of her detective, her heart aching with compassion and a love that she resolutely pushes down. The younger woman is curled into a ball in the middle of the bed, legs pulled up to her chest and arms wrapped around her shins, forehead resting on her knees as she weeps inconsolably and breathes in short, ragged gasps, seemingly unaware of her lieutenant's presence.

No matter how many times Olivia urges her to explain what's going on, Amanda refuses to respond, the other woman so lost in her anguish that speaking is apparently too difficult, and Olivia makes the swift decision to get on the bed with her. She slides tentatively onto the mattress, positioning herself in the scant amount of space between the pillows and the quivering form of her detective, enveloping Amanda in her embrace from behind as her arms and legs anchor the smaller figure tightly to her body.

She suspects that all of the chaos is finally crashing down upon Amanda; the birth of a second daughter, Al's proposal and Amanda's subsequent rejection, and the reality of raising two children without another parent being present on a full-time basis. From a personal standpoint, Olivia can acknowledge that although she loves her son more than anyone else on the planet and can't imagine her life without him, raising Noah by herself is the hardest thing she has ever done, and is overwhelmed with empathy for Amanda's situation.

"What am I going to do, Liv?" Amanda chokes out, confirming Olivia's assumption that everything is hitting her all at once and she has reached her breaking point. "I'm so happy that Billie is here and I love her so much already, but I have two kids and a dog and no place to go. I can't go back to Al's apartment and I don't even know if we would be welcome there, anyway."

Amanda bends over at the waist as a wave of despair replaces the prior elation, Olivia's heart breaking as she listens to the tormented cries of her detective and the repeated utterances of wanting what's best for her kids. She notices that Amanda's hospital robe has been removed, the strings on the gown she is still wearing untied and hanging loose at the top of the garment, a strip of bare skin exposed on her upper back near the nape of her neck, Olivia taking a chance and laying her hand lightly against it in an attempt to calm Amanda down.

The skin-to-skin action has the desired effect as she rubs tiny circles with her fingertips and murmurs soothing words, assuring her that everything is going to be okay, Amanda's breathing gradually slowing down and her sobs dwindling to a halt. Olivia feels the smaller woman relaxing bit by bit under her gentle touch and moves her hands up to massage Amanda's shoulders, hearing a soft sigh sound in response and debating whether or not to say what's on her mind.

"The four of you are welcome to stay with me until you get things figured out," she offers quietly, feeling Amanda freeze against her and watching the blonde head tilt to the side in deliberation. "I know it'll be very cramped quarters, but I think we can make it work."

"We can't...we can't impose like that, Liv," Amanda stutters out in return, the younger woman sounding in complete disbelief at this proposition. "There's too many of us...it's way too much to ask of you..."

"Well, you're not asking me, are you? I offered," Olivia chides gently, reaching up to ruffle Amanda's hair affectionately. "And even if you did ask, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. You told me earlier that it was just family in this room, and families are there for each other during times of need, aren't they?"

She is painfully aware that neither one of them have many examples of what it's like to belong to a caring, generous family; a group of people who will step in to help when everything seems hopeless and out of control, but since Noah's appearance in her life and the unending loyalty and friendship of her squad, Olivia has finally learned what it means to truly belong somewhere.

She neglects to mention the love she has for Amanda; a love that goes far beyond that of a tightly-knit team or close friendship, not wanting the younger woman to feel pressured or think there are any hidden motives or strings attached to her suggestion. All Olivia wants is for Amanda and her family to feel comfortable and safe; to lessen any stress and help out wherever she can, especially in the initial adjustment period of dealing with a newborn baby.

She has no idea if there are any deeper feelings on Amanda's part and decides that it doesn't matter either way; that even if Amanda feels something more for her, there can't possibly be a worse time to embark on a new relationship. Her top priority is getting Amanda and the kids and Frannie settled in her home, if the younger woman agrees to sharing her apartment for the time being, and Olivia will wait to see how things play out between them, letting nature take its course in whatever way that might be.

Amanda has yet to speak again but Olivia considers it a good sign when the smaller woman slumps back against her body, the detective melting into her chest as she feels slender hands grasping onto her own and lets Amanda wind her arms around her waist. Olivia takes up her previous position of holding onto Amanda securely from behind, clasping her hands lightly above the protruding belly of her friend and relishing in the closeness of the woman she loves.

"Are you sure about this, Liv?" Amanda mumbles doubtfully after they have been sitting molded together for several minutes without a word spoken between them, Olivia rocking the blonde in her arms while casting frequent tender glances at baby Billie, who is still snoozing contentedly next to the bed.

"Yes, I'm sure," she replies firmly, tightening her hold around Amanda and her stomach turning a somersault when the younger woman leans her head back on her shoulder so their cheeks are brushing against one another. "I want you there. And you're welcome to stay for as long as you need to."

Olivia doesn't elaborate on this response; that she wishes Amanda and her family would stay for good, even though she knows the lack of space will probably start to drive them all nuts at some point down the road. She doesn't care about that issue, however; even going so far as to contemplate getting a bigger apartment if Amanda ends up wanting it to become a permanent arrangement. She knows that she is getting way ahead of herself and is planning out a future that may never come to pass, determined to set aside any hopes for a potential romance and just concentrate on being in the present and enjoying Amanda and Billie's company.

Every single thought and concern that are swirling through her mind promptly fly right from Olivia's head when she feels a soft pair of lips pressing into her cheek, Amanda's mouth lingering on her skin for a moment before pulling away so they are looking each other in the eye. Olivia's breath catches in her throat at the sheer depth of emotion she sees residing in those big blue eyes, tears still lingering on Amanda's long lashes but a grateful smile stretching across her face, and a trace of the previous joy returning to her expression and voice.

"Thank you so much, Liv. I think I'll take you up on your offer. I would love to move in with you."