Warning: mild fanservice. And on a side note, cold Chinese food is delicious.
Dedicated to Chase, whom I won't see until Sunday. I miss and love you, dear brother. I also better see some of those brownies you're making, or I'm gonna be pissed.

I had probably fallen asleep while thinking about the pros and cons of dating Ling because my body jolted upon hearing the sound of an explosion just behind the school. I soon realized that it was the sound of fireworks exploding outside. My room lit up bright with yellow and orange light before returning to the dim atmosphere that came with the table lamp. Envy was playing some sort of game on his cell phone and didn't seem to notice my waking up. I sat up on my elbows and looked at him. He was so engrossed that he didn't even hear me sigh.

And then my girlish mind began to compare Envy and Ling together. Liking two guys at the same time should only happen to girls in romance novels or shoujo manga. But no, it happens to happen to me in reality. Goddamn reality.

Ling was awesome, funny, dark-haired, really handsome, and he was an acrobat! He was always flipping around and showing off his flexibility during lunch. He nearly kicked me in the head doing a back flip before. He had skin with a slight tan, dark, silky hair, and was tall. (Okay, omit that last one; everyone's taller than me.)

Envy was dark, sexy, not very funny, also had dark hair, and he was strong. Really strong, and very confident. He acted as if a tornado couldn't take him down, and I doubted one would even be able to manage its own against him. He was taller than Ling by at least an inch (which, honestly, just made me feel worse about my Goddamn height).

They're surprisingly alike. But unlike Envy, Ling had the modern decency to not butt into other people's conversations or eavesdrop on them. He also was more polite.

"Oh, you're finally up," Envy mused, snapping me out of my thoughts. I flushed. He probably thought I was staring at him. Wonderful. "You snore like a bear." And the first thing he says happens to be an insult. I was past being surprised by anything he said.

"Shut up," I said back, stretching. My hair was messy and tangled. I grabbed a random brush and began to pull it through my hair.

"That's mine, you know."

I shrugged. "A brush is a brush."

"Fine, whatever." He turned away from me and looked back to his phone. I noticed that his Jedi was gone. I shrugged. He had probably dropped it somewhere. It didn't seem that important to him.

"..." I squirmed. His words from this morning continued to play in my head like a song put on repeat. I came out and said I liked you. It took Ling a few years to figure out his feelings. That, I hated to admit, was true. And I was still intent on calling Ling.

"I hate fireworks," Envy muttered.

"You don't seem to like much of anything, do you?" I asked sarcastically. "Is there anything you like at all?"

"Edgar Allen Poe." He smirked. "Pure genius." I wasn't surprised at this either. But I had to agree; Poe was epic.

And then I squirmed again.

"Hey, um, Envy..." He looked up at me, brows raised. I felt myself blushing but swallowed my pride. "Think you can do me a favor?"

Envy leaned back against his hand, placing it on the mattress. He tilted his head, making his hair fall off his shoulders and hang just above his knuckles. He reminded me of a palm tree. I'll probably be killed for that remark later.

"That depends," he replied. "What kind of favor is it?"

"Could you, uh, could you kiss me again?"

If there was any way God could have given me a way to embarrass Envy with a simple question, lo and behold, he has given it to me. The shell-shocked look on Envy's face had to be the best thing I had seen all semester. His cheeks flamed up like two small furnaces, his eyes got as big as saucers, and his phone slipped right out of his hands. I would have laughed at him had I not been asking him for a serious matter.

"Wh-what?" he asked. "I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right."

"Oh, okay." I felt a stronger surge of courage and let out a deep breath. Repeating it was easier. "Could you kiss me again?"

I think I could see Envy jumping up and down like a schoolgirl in his head. He had to have been the happiest guy on the planet right now. But as usual, the bastard was acting as cautious as a sumo wrestler in a minefield. Doing this would be so much easier if he would stop acting like everyone in the world is out to kill him.

"Is this a trick?" he asked. "Last time I kissed you, you nearly killed me." The operative word being "nearly."

"Well, yeah, but that was because you tongue-raped me." Me. And my. Stupid. Mouth.

"You didn't seem to have too much of a problem with that," he challenged.

"Oh, would you just shut up and kiss me?" I had to hold myself back from nearly bursting into laughter at how totally wrong that sentence sounded. It didn't hit me until Envy cracked a smile.

"Well, when you put it that bluntly, how in the world can I resist?" Forgetting about his phone, Envy swung his legs off the bed and stood up, looking at me questioningly. "You sure? You realize that I'm taking you seriously."

"About time you did." I placed my hands on my hips.

Envy gave me a look before standing up and closing the distance between us in three quick strides. He was in front of me now, looking down into my eyes, past me even, and making me freeze. I was now caught in the trap, and the hunter wasn't about to let me go too easily. Envy lifted his hands and cupped my face gently, staring at me for a few moments longer, before bending down and capturing my lips in a slow, hesitant kiss.

Remember when I said that kissing Ling was like being high? I was so WRONG. The very second Envy's mouth pressed against mine my legs turned into gummy worms. I grabbed the sleeves of his shirt to keep from falling to the floor like a pansy. He apparently took that as a sign that he was doing a good thing and turned his head to the side, deepening our contact. Right about then, the ability to put out anything intelligent immediately dissipated. The only things I could focus on were keeping myself from looking like a fool and falling flat on my face because my legs had become too weak to hold me up, the pull in my chest that almost cut my breathing off completely, and Envy. I seriously felt as if I was about to faint in that instant.

And then the bastard pulled away, prying my hands off his shirt.

"Happy now?" he asked with a smirk. I was too dumbfounded to form words so I just nodded. He laughed. I wanted him to kiss me again (and I mean I really wanted him to do it again), but he returned to whatever it was he was doing on his phone.

And then I realized something: I completely forgot about Ling.


I know this is probably the most random thing I have ever asked in my entire life, but has anyone ever swallowed his or her heart? That has to be the hardest thing in the world to do, especially when you're in love with someone who has the potential to kill you and someone whom you thought you were in love with and it turned that you were just extremely desperate. I have the worst luck and happen to be stuck in said predicament. Man, I hate life.

But I still swallowed mine and hit the "call" button. My stomach flipped around in my gut as I waited for the the person I called to answer. Unfortunately, the person answered halfway through the second ring.

"Edward!" I heard Ling exclaim happily. "I'm glad to hear from you. I thought you weren't going to call me."

"Uh, well, things have been...busy." It technically wasn't a lie. Now that it was Sunday and parents were leaving (Halloween was tomorrow), the carnival was being taken down, and I wasn't in much of a mood to face Envy after yesterday, so I offered to help the men pack up, got sweaty, took a shower, and it was now three in the afternoon and I had just plucked up the courage to call Ling. "Listen, I've been thinking about your offer the other day." I was not excited about doing this.

"Oh, you have?" I could hear the excitement in his voice. "Well? What's your answer?"

Here it goes. I can do it. Just one, word: no. That was all I had to say.

"Um, Ling, I'm sorry," I said, and I could mentally picture the excited expression on his face just melt away at this point. Starting off with the phrase "I'm sorry" never means anything good for the person receiving the apology. "But, I don't like you the way you like me. I'm sorry."

There was silence on the other end. I was worried he had hung up on me, but the dial tone never came.

"...I see," he said finally. The disappointment was obvious in his voice. "Well, sorry I kissed you. That was probably rude of me. I didn't mean to bother you."

"Ling..."

"I was stupid. I thought you might still have feelings for me, but that was just a joke. We haven't seen each other for a few years; it's not weird for you to find someone else."

"Ling, stop."

"No, let me finish," he said sharply. I physically flinched from my phone. He must have been severely hurt. "I hope that person is worth it. He must be one hell of a person if you're willing to give him the light of day." I seriously felt like crying right now. My eyes stung, a lump grew in the back of my throat, and I bit my lip from letting out a chest-hurting sob. I couldn't give a shit to my manliness right now. When I was hurt, I was hurt, and there was no denying it. "Well, thanks for the good times, Ed. See you in the future."

Click

The dial tone was harsh in my ear. I let my hand drop onto my mattress, starting at my knees as tears broke free from my eyelashes and rolled down my cheeks. My phone was still yelling its dial tone. I wanted to throw it at the wall. I wanted to scream. I wanted to bash my head through a wall in hopes that some insane act in a dream will make me kick myself awake, and I'd find myself in bed with some random, sexy guy. Reality is a bitch. Guilt trips always make me feel like the worst guy in the world, no matter who they were from. People I cared about always made me feel like I was stabbing myself in the eye.

The door opened, and I scrambled to wipe my eyes dry and turn away before Envy or Greed saw me crying like a little kid. But no, my eyes refused to stop. Envy walked in and saw me, and I could have sworn he looked angry for a second.

"What happened?" he asked immediately. I hung my head and hastily dried my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked through a thick voice. Shit. "I'm fine."

"You're crying, Ed. I don't consider that fine."

"Well, I do." I stood up. I wanted a nice, hot shower to wash away the guilt. "I'm going to take a shower." I made it about halfway past Envy before he turned around and grabbed my arm so quickly I thought he was going to rip it out of the socket. But he was Mr. Perfect and didn't hurt me, not even when he pushed me against a wall. He seemed to like pushing me into things, I noticed.

"Who made you cry?" he demanded.

"What do you care?" I asked, feeling that lump return.

"What do I care? How many times do I have to drill it into your fucking head? You have to be the stupidest person on this planet." And that insult didn't help me feel any better. He's such a pep-talker. He saw more tears fall from my eyes and softened his expression. The next thing I knew, his hand was on the back of my head and I was looking over his shoulder at our drab dorm room. It took a few moments for my mind to register that he was trying to comfort me. I laughed.

"You're horrible at this," I said, throwing my arms around his shoulders.

"Shut up," he said glumly. His head touched my shoulder, and he started shaking and sniffling like a little kid.

Click

He wasn't the one comforting me. I was the one comforting him.