Chapter 11
The little girls took Elissa's orders MOSTLY seriously.
They could not resist sniffing, loudly and pointedly near Master Tuon and asking each other if Runnerbeasts had been in the vicinity, when their business took them to his class next day.
The poor man returned to his cot in the break to wash and change yet another time.
Elissa heard about it and cuffed them firmly.
They thought it worth it!
Thread fell shortly thereafter, and Elissa left the smallest of her charges with the younger apprentices and support staff who preferred not to walk sweep, telling Kispre that he must wait another turn before he could come and help; and that she would instruct him meanwhile on how to use agenothree sprayers and flamethrowers to build up his muscles so he would be strong enough to use them.
Being told he had to be strong enough to heft the equipment efficiently so as not to risk others satisfied Kispre as being told he was too young without explanation would not have!
"Father likes us to be Turned twelve before we walk sweep" said Ambreen.
"Then abide by your father's wishes by all means; it's a reasonable age to start for non weyrfolk" said Elissa. "And if you wish to build up your muscles too in the meantime, there's no harm in that; and learning how the equipment works. And the lot of you may as well help me clean the things afterwards too; you won't learn any younger."
There were no serious incursions of Thread; the one burrow they saw was already being destroyed by the actions of the grubs, now really spreading efficiently. It was quite routine; save that the Queen's wing swooped low and Lessa waved at the woodcrafters.
Elissa waved back.
It was nice to have appreciation from the Weyr that the woodcrafters kept their end of the bargain; and perhaps the more personal interest of Lessa too for being given a token of love and friendship when she felt everyone was against her and really needed it.
Lessa returned to the Woodcrafter Hall after washing and said in her direct fashion,
"There are too many things going on; I've run away for an hour. Lend me some of your fosterlings to take out between us for a walk!"
Elissa grinned.
"Always happy to oblige a Weyrwoman – and accept help with fosterlings" she said. "But I need to explain some things about them to you" and quickly she filled Lessa in on the odd traits in H'llon's kin. "They may ask questions or make comments that sound cheeky – but they're not meant for such" she emphasised "For they genuinely want to know!"
"Hmm" said Lessa "It's not so uncommon to find something a bit like that in weyrs; loners who give everything to their dragons. Your kids just sound a bit more er, a bit more than usual."
"Partly it's bad upbringing" said Elissa "I LOATHE both their parents – so I'm not unprejudiced on THAT subject. Kislan's always put H'llon down for being the same and now he's jealous of him for being a Rider – oh, the sorry business is nothing to depress you with! Forget the silly lot of them, your irritations and mine, and enjoy the day. You up for a stiff climb?"
"I can climb where any woodcrafter can climb" said Lessa rashly.
"Perhaps Ramoth would take the little ones up the last bit; they'll not make it alone."
Lessa opened her mouth in surprise and the start of indignation; then laughed.
"Why not?" she said "I guess High Reaches really does NOT do protocol! Besides, the middle one has been telling her he's hoping to Impress a dragon like Uncle H'llon and the other two are not in the least bit afraid of her, for all her size bless them!"
"Why should they be?" said Elissa "Dragons don't hurt people, there's nothing to be afraid of!"
"What a nice refreshing attitude!" said Lessa "You'd be amazed how many grown men are nervous of The Biggest as she's called by other dragons."
"She's also the beautifulest" said Elissa "And the bravest. If children cannot feel safe with the greatest of Pern's protectors – in deeds as well as in size – well, who can they feel safe with?"
The chimney leading to the high meadow was indeed a tough climb; and Elissa really noticed it this time, having felt queasy for the last four days!
"Out of condition?" asked Lessa, panting somewhat herself.
"Pregnant" said Elissa "A little fragile!"
"Planned?"
"Accident. I took more notice of your egg than of taking my herbs – so baby's halfway to being yours too" grinned Elissa. "What will be will be, I wasn't planning on clutching yet but I'm not bothered by it."
Lessa reached out a wistful hand.
"I only ever could have F'lessan" she said "Do you mean it, that baby's part mine?"
"You are welcome to be a big part of his or her life if you like – a spare relative!" said Elissa. "I will foster with my husband's mother; but as Gerney's sired by a Benden dragonman that too keeps it all close!"
"Thank you; I would very much like that" said Lessa "Great Shells, they've managed to get off Ramoth for themselves!"
The children ran to greet the women, hindering greatly by helping them out of the chimney!
"Now THAT's driven away any bad thoughts" said Lessa contentedly, throwing herself down on the springy turf. "Any objections though if we go back down the quick way on Ramoth? I know it's cheating but I'm not as young as I was and I'm not sure I can cope with both ways!"
"Well I've not felt so well myself that I'd refuse the lift" said Elissa candidly. "I'm ignoring it, weyrfashion, but I could wish to feel better."
"Oh I threw up every day with F'lessan most of the way through" said Lessa "I sympathise! What is that tree? Are those nuts or fruit forming?"
"It's walnut; the nuts you're familiar with form in those husks, and the husks make a brown dye. You can only harvest the wood in winter, and then need to seal a wound with hot wax; or the sap bleeds it to death. It's one of our most prized woods, a beautiful colour and with a lovely grain."
"I never knew there was so much to know about walnuts!" laughed Lessa. "Well, this is nice, but you know what duties are!" she added wistfully, stretching and getting up.
Elissa nodded.
"Any time you need to take time out, weyrwoman" she said.
"Lessa. The name is Lessa."
"If you'd like that, Lessa. Well! Ramoth's bigger than any dragon I've ridden on; please apologise to her if I'm clumsy!"
"She says you'll be fine" said Lessa.
The children enjoyed the glide down as much as they had enjoyed the flight up; and were utterly unafraid, a fact Lessa continued to marvel over and rejoice in.
"They'll be at the weyr soon I suppose" the Weyrwoman said "High Reaches I suppose for the family connections? I can't tempt you to Benden?"
"They'll make their own choices when they reach the right age" said Elissa. "Of course they've visited High Reaches; and will do so often. And High Reaches does offer the option of a Green to Kilaia if she wants that."
"Get D'vind and Ch'sseri to bring you, your man and the kids over to Benden from time to time" said Lessa "Give them a wider choice!"
"Like dragonets!" grinned Elissa.
Summer started drawing to an end; it was cold for bare feet on the boards in the bedrooms first thing, and there was a chill in the air before the sun came high in the sky. The sun was less intense, though it was warm enough in the middle of the day, even hot at times; but Elissa unpacked blankets for the beds at night and the children were glad of them. Soon the light would start to take on a golden hue that presaged autumn, a time of turn Elissa would always love for the vibrant colours of the leaves on the trees and for it being the time of turn that Gerney had acknowledged his feelings to her, and they had walked ankle deep in rustling leaves, handlocked and happy.
Elissa did not feel much like scrunching through leaves; she felt increasingly queasy most of the time.
Elissa was no idiot.
She consulted her friend L'sya's mother Saranna.
Saranna examined her thoroughly. Elissa did not much enjoy the experience; but bore it with stoic patience. Saranna knew what she was doing and at least two babies in the greater extent of the crafthall owed their lives to her skill, and one of the mothers involved too.
"You need to rest more" the Healer said.
"It just seems silly to have to lie up like an invalid over something so – well, natural!" said Elissa.
Saranna tutted.
"Now then, I know weyrfolk CAN be sensible, even if they do complain all the time they're laid up! L'sya wrote to me that the little weyrwoman T'lana is having to rest HER current pregnancy!"
"She's fallen pregnant a third time? How like H'llon not to bother to mention it! Shells, that'll be four babies – almost up to Kylara! Only a lot more wanted" Elissa added dryly.
"I'm told the weyrfolk have marks on it being twins again" said Saranna "But the point is, if SHE can rest, so can you!"
"I suppose" said Elissa glumly "But T'lana's tiny and, though you wouldn't think it for her energy, a little bit fragile over babies. I guess because she's so small."
"Now then miss! Anyone can be ill with babies – and I don't want to hear any more talk of the kind that confirms the stupider and more hidebound men in their stupid belief that pregnancy is a woman's function and should make no difference to doing chores or pampering the lazy male animal that too often too many of them are! And Gerney's not, so don't try to make him into one!"
"I hadn't thought of it that way" said Elissa "Gerney most certainly ISN'T one of them – he's so careful and tender I forget what idiots there can be out there, he even makes sure to rise first and bring me a pastry and a mug of milk in bed and sees to the littlest ones getting bathed and dressed."
"Well you remember those men every time you want to moan about it being perfectly natural. And rest. I'll send Amula to bring the little ones over to me for a couple of hours in the afternoon when they're not with the Harper so you can lie down and try to doze."
"THAT much rest?"
"My dear, I'll do you no favours by pretending that I think all is well. If you do as I say you MIGHT keep the baby."
The blood drained from Elissa's face.
"You mean there's a strong likelihood I might lose the baby?"
"I'm afraid so. I'll know more in a few sevendays; you're almost three months gone by your calculations, and you won't feel movement until the end of the first trimester at the earliest. When baby moves I can tell more."
Elissa nodded; it was reasonable.
"Must I give up teaching in the mornings?" she asked.
"If it soothes you to be in the latheshop with Gerney, go; but no standing, just be there to answer questions" admonished Saranna.
Elissa did find it soothing to be in the latheshop, particularly as Saranna did not want her treadling for herself. But in consultation with Gerney, the journeyman dropped the class with the youngest; for they were the most wearing. They were capable enough not to need much help now; but Ambreen particularly would run to Elissa for reassurance that she was doing things right, and at the moment the girl found that very wearing!
The fosterlings and apprentices in the cot were told firmly by Gerney that Elissa was not well; and that the older ones were not to plague her but were to ask Tahnee or Sadvia if they had a problem, or even Murade, he added as an afterthought.
"Why?" asked Kilaia.
Gerney guessed wildly – and as it turned out correctly – that the 'why' referred to why Elissa was ill, not why the bigger ones should go to someone else.
"Because something inside her isn't working properly and if she rests, Saranna thinks it might sort itself out" he said.
"She's pregnant, isn't she?" asked Kispre.
So much, thought Gerney, for not telling them until nearer the time.
"Yes, Kispre, she is; but the baby might die so we didn't want you to be upset by telling you too soon" said Gerney.
Kispre digested this.
"I'd want to know anyway so I could say goodbye to the baby" he said "Mother was sick with Kilaia; and she shouted something awful all the time. I think Elissa's iller than mother was."
"Yes, son, she is" said Gerney. There was no point lying to the child. For one thing Gerney disapproved; for another he strongly suspected that Kispre would not be fooled for an instant!
"Do you want us to go away?" asked Kispre "And foster with someone else?"
Gerney gathered the three to him fiercely.
"NO! And nor does Elissa! But if you will go and play with other people for a time each day so she can sleep, she can rest until she's better; and that would be appreciated."
Kispre nodded.
"We can help too" said Preslan. "We can get ourselves dressed: Kispre can help me with my boots. P'haps Beka will button Kilaia up so's you can spend time with Elissa"
Gerney nodded.
"You're all good children" he said.
The apprentices had listened in silence; now Sifora said, touching Gerney on the arm,
"I was a twin, but my twin died and my mother thought she'd lost the baby so I was a total surprise to her!"
It was about the longest speech the quiet child had ever made; and Gerney smiled at her, recognising the child's desire to comfort him that Elissa might have a baby die but still birth its twin.
It was not very likely; but it was a kind thought!
Ambreen and Sheesha just held hands and looked horrified; Beka, who already knew that Elissa was pregnant, bit her lip worried. She vowed silently to keep an eye on Elissa!
Gerney moved a comfortable chair and footstool into the latheshop for Elissa, over by the grindstone to supervise sharpening tools, so she might still feel that she did something useful.
Elissa was glad. Being so sick and ill feeling all the time made her feel stupid and listless and she hated it!
The eighth month of the Turn was almost out when she was seized by griping pains; and doubled up with a sharp cry of pain.
Beka and Gerney were both at her side in a bound.
"Take her to Saranna, Master; I can take the class" said Telfer "They're a good bunch, these ones, and won't let you down by being silly with only one journeyman on his own"
There were murmurs of assent from the class, which included Lianka and Kisra. And although it was a big class, with fifteen apprentices, two having to share a lathe, Gerney knew they would behave themselves. He picked up Elissa, who was a dirty khaki colour that indicated how ill she was.
Beka gasped.
"Daddy, she's all bloody! The baby….."
Elissa had very little recollection of the next few hours. Saranna gave her a small amount of fellis juice; and through its mind-numbing cushion, Elissa heard her tell Gerney that there was no point trying to save a dead foetus; and that the best thing was to get it over with quickly with a strong dose of yarrow and fennel.
"That baby is poisoning her, and if it's not already dead, I don't think it's going to survive anyway" said Saranna bluntly.
"Do what is necessary; you're the expert" Gerney was holding Elissa's hand one side, Beka the other. Elissa managed to squeeze both.
"Some…..eggs…..don't hatch" she managed to murmur; then Saranna was giving her the foul mix of bitter yarrow hardly tempered by the aniseed flavour of fennel; and another, stronger dose of fellis.
When Elissa woke up she felt drained, but in some ways much better; and she was in her own bed.
Then she remembered why she felt better and burst into bitter tears.
Gerney was beside her in an instant, holding her, stroking her long brown hair; and Beka was there too, holding her hand and crying as hard as Elissa.
Elissa dragged herself under control and pulled Beka to her.
"Muvver Elissa…. It didn't look much like a baby at all" said Beka "Saranna had to tell Kispre it was 'cos he wanted to say goodbye."
"They….they don't for a while" gulped Elissa, who had seen the results of other miscarriages when running errands at the weyr.
"Saranna said there – there was something wrong with baby and it would not have lived anyway" said Gerney, his own eyes wet.
Elissa nodded.
"We grieve for baby; but we mustn't let it interfere with loving the others" she said, firmly. "They share our loss, as they know about it. It – it may take a little time; I know we never planned a baby but…."
"But baby was part of your body and our lives, and you particularly had grown used to the idea" said Gerney gently.
"OH! I must let Lessa know! Tears welled up in Elissa's eyes. She had told Gerney about the little weyrwoman's wistfulness.
"I'll write, love; you're too ill just now" he said.
"She doesn't like firelizards" said Elissa "Send a letter via D'vind."
Gerney kissed her forehead, where he could reach for Elissa's own crooning, comforting firelizards!
"Quite right, my dear" he said "Now try to sleep again; Beka and I will be in the main room on the lathes there."
Elissa wondered if she was too sad to sleep; but she was too tired not to!
