Jane's back ached. Maura sat behind her on the living room floor, her legs spread on either side of Jane, easing the pain. While one hand worked on the muscles of Jane's lower back, the other gathered her hair to the side. Maura was laying down kisses on Jane's neck and it was like lightning, the way it sparked through her body. Then her other hand began to snake around, over Jane's hip and across her flat stomach—wait a minute, flat stomach? This must be a dream.

Jane woke before the alarm. She was indeed still pregnant, and Maura was next to her, her appearance perfect even in sleep. Her hands rested across her ribs, and her belly rose with each breath.

This thing they were doing, making their own weird kind of family, it wasn't what Jane had expected from life at all. She had spent so long denying her mother's requests that she 'settle down' and get married to a handsome young man. Jane wanted to pursue her career and make something of herself, create a change in the world, so she didn't make men her priority. But she always assumed that at some point, she would have a family.

For a while Jane had thought that would be with Casey, that he would understand the importance of her career and the risks she had to take as part of her job. But there was some sort of miscommunication. The more she tried to be what he wanted, the more demanding he got. She felt like she was no longer herself around him; she was weak and submissive. Someone she didn't even recognize. When she realized that he hadn't called her in over a week, she quit trying.

When Jane found out she was pregnant a few weeks later, she was horrified at the thought of going back to Casey with the news. The last thing she wanted was to be stuck with him for the rest of her life, being that weak person she didn't know. But she wanted the baby. She wanted to do something right, something good. And the only person who gave her the confidence to think maybe she could be a good enough mother was Maura. She felt like if she had Maura in her corner, together, they could do anything.

Jane knew going in that asking Maura to help her raise the baby would mean giving up certain tokens of independence. Maura was bossy—Jane was bossy, too, but in a completely different way—and she would be sure to use whatever weird facts she could to convince Jane to do things she wouldn't normally do. They would have to live together if they were going to raise a kid together. And even though they hadn't talked about it, Jane knew she wouldn't be dating any guys. Ever.

It was a small price to pay, really. Jane had usually enjoyed sex, but it wasn't something she craved. It was more like something she... did. Sometimes. She thought about being touched, and sometimes she even did it herself, but Jane was confident that she wouldn't be missing out on anything by embarking on this new life with Maura. It made Jane a little uncomfortable to think that Maura might want to date, and even bring men home, but Jane would have to learn to deal with that. Her punching bag dummy came to mind.

The thing was—and Jane had read about this in one of Maura's pregnancy books—the hormones were making Jane think about sex more than she used to. It was creeping up in the weirdest places, in the strangest times. Like in the elevator at work. She'd be returning to her desk after visiting the morgue and out of nowhere feel a lurch in her stomach, and imagine what it would be like to be pressed up against the elevator wall, getting kissed.

This was the first time Maura was involved, though. It was a little weird and Jane definitely wasn't going to share this dream with her friend. It was probably just because they spent so much time together, Jane figured. They slept in the same bed, for crying out loud. Of course Maura was going to play a prominent role in Jane's subconscious. It didn't mean anything, though. Right?

Jane tried not to think any more about it. She got up and got ready for work.


Jane had already poured the decaf and was rinsing her oatmeal bowl when Maura appeared in the kitchen.

"Good morning," Maura beamed. "You were up early today. Did you not sleep well?"

"No, I slept fine. Like a baby," Jane lied. Then it hit her, a sense of déjà vu. She had responded the same way when Casey slept over the first time, and snored all night long. The memory was unsettling.

Jane must have made a face or something, because Maura came over and put a hand to her back, asking, "Are you sure? Was it another bad dream?"

Shit, why did she have to be so goddam smart? Jane snaked herself out from under Maura's hand and walked away, asserting, "I just woke up early, that's all." She knew it was unkind and uncalled for, but she had to get out of there before it got any worse.


Frost knew there would be trouble as soon as Jane showed up to work. She was in a bad mood. Not terrible, not like before she moved in with Maura, but still. She snapped at Frankie when all he wanted was to help with the investigation. She completely ignored Korsak when he asked the same question four times. (Old man couldn't take a hint.) And she didn't go visit the morgue in the afternoon like she usually did.

Instead, Dr. Isles came up to the bullpen with her evidence. She acted normal, maybe a little too professional, but Frost could tell she was studying Jane. Maura didn't know what was wrong with her either, which meant they hadn't had a fight. Jane was hiding something even from the Doc. Not good.

Things started to look up when the evidence Dr. Isles found led to a suspect. It wasn't enough to get a warrant, but the three detectives decided to go out to the residence and do a little field investigation. Ask a few questions. See if any red flags popped up. Jane seemed anxious to make progress in the case and get out of the office.

They talked to the neighbors and scoped out the residence. The only car in the driveway was up on cinder blocks. No obvious movement inside. Looked like nobody was home. Korsak went around back in case anyone tried to run. Frost knocked on the front door. Nothing. He knocked again. Still nothing. Jane put her elbow through the window.

"Whoops," she said, like it was no big deal. Breaking and entering, without a warrant. She just made anything they found inadmissible in court. She reached through the broken glass and unlocked the door. "Hey, look, it's open."

Frost tried to tell her that was a bad idea. That it was an illegal search. That they should wait for Korsak to call for backup. That the guy could be in there, waiting for them with an automatic, and they didn't even have their flak jackets on. But she just went in. The only thing he could do was back her up.

It was a small house, thank God, a cape. They cleared the downstairs and Jane was leading the way upstairs when they heard Korsak shout. The guy was trying to scramble over a desk and through an open window to escape. Jane was having none of that, though; she took the flight of stairs in five big steps, and yanked him back inside, upturning the desk and shattering a table lamp. One good punch kept him on the floor, but then he grabbed her ankle and she lost her balance. She fell forward, hands first, into the broken glass.

Even after it was over, Jane was stunned. She just kind of sat there, looking at her hands. They were bleeding, but it didn't look too bad to Frost. He took her to the emergency room anyway, while Korsak took the suspect in for booking. She wouldn't let him call Maura, and Frankie was on duty, so he called Mrs. Rizzoli, who was a wreck, of course.

Once they found out that Jane was ok—she didn't even need stitches—and the baby was ok, too, Mrs. Rizzoli calmed down enough that he could leave. She said she would take Jane home. Frost wasn't sure what he was going to tell Cavanaugh, but that wasn't his first stop anyway. Frost had promised not to call Maura, but he sure as hell wasn't going to keep this from her. That was her kid, too, and she was the only person Jane might actually listen to. She needed to know the whole story.


Maura was waiting when Jane came home. She was calm, she was cool, she was rational. She had already been worried, frightened, and angry. Now she was determined.

When Frost had walked into her office and the first words out of his mouth were, "Everything is ok," she knew it wasn't. Maybe they weren't hurt, not this time, but something was wrong, and Maura had to find a way to fix it before it was too late. Before she lost the two most important people in her life. "She listens to you," he said, and she was so angry she wanted to hit him.

"You think I have any control over her?" Maura had yelled at Frost. She didn't care who heard. "Jane does what Jane does. She doesn't ask for permission. It's not who she is."

Now Maura had two options: she could stay angry. Give Jane a piece of her mind and tell her exactly how unacceptable it was to run around picking fights with suspects while carrying Maura's child. It was reckless and it was irresponsible and Maura would not stand for it.

But when Jane walked in the front door following her mother, shoulders slouched, both hands wrapped in a thin layer of gauze, a contrite sadness on her face, Maura knew her anger wasn't necessary. Angela left Jane's keys in the bowl and took her leave. Maura stood and approached Jane tentatively. Jane put her hands in Maura's for examination.

It was like a curse to Jane, these hands of hers. The way they were always betraying her. She could use them to hold a gun or make a fist. They had calluses from doing pull-ups and the nails were chewed down to the quick. They were so tough and powerful most of the time. But somehow they always managed to remind her of her weaknesses. That she couldn't do it alone.

Maura kissed the bandages. She didn't break eye contact. When she let them go, Jane fell into Maura's arms, head resting on Maura's shoulder. They stood there for a while, just breathing. Then when Jane was ready, she let go and sat on the couch, right in the middle, and removed her shoes. She waited for Maura to sit, then pulled her feet up, one at a time, and lay down, resting her head in Maura's lap.

"The baby's ok," Jane said, reassuring both of them.

Maura nodded, then asked, "And you?" Her fingers combed through Jane's curls, easing them away from her face.

Janes eyes shifted from one wall hanging to another. "I was scared. For the baby."

"Frost said you fell." Jane nodded at this, apparently unsurprised that Maura had gotten the story from her partner. Maura jumped to what she really wanted to know, "Why did you do it?"

Jane shook her head the tiniest bit, "I don't know."

"Did you think it was the right thing to do at the time?"

"I didn't think." Jane's eyes closed. She was so disappointed in herself.

"Oh."

Maura thought Jane had gone to sleep, but after several moments Jane's eyes opened and she repeated, "The baby's ok."

"And you?" Maura still wasn't sure.

"I don't want that to happen again." She seemed resolute.

"You won't let it."

Jane looked up at her. 'How do you know?"

"I trust you."