(My first chapter just hit 1000 views!... And the second chapter just hit 300. Da fuck? Why the f*** does the second f***ing sh** chapter of this f***ing sh** a** c*nt* p**ck b***ard v***na d*ck get only 300 f***ing views?...
Why do I get demonetized so much?
Jack laid on the makeshift couch as he began chirping to Walt, whom was holding the clipboard like yesterday. One could not understand what Jack was saying, as they were speaking in birdish, but by the looks of Jack's face… it was not delightful. Walt glanced down on the clipboard, a pencil in his hand; turns out he wasn't taking notes and instead drew a crude drawing of Jack with an arrow pointing at him that said, 'iDioT'. Walt chuckled at this.
Matt laid on the couch in his usual attire, not moving a muscle. He didn't have any energy nor any motivation to get up. His whole body just felt heavy to him. Like one move and it'll give away any energy that was in his body. His right arm rested on his forehead as his left handed rested on his stomach, moving up and down every time he breathed; he continued staring at the ceiling.
His vision was blocked as Lynn looked over him.
"Hey, Matt." Lynn greeted.
"What?" he asked in a tired tone.
"You ready to have some fun?"
"I'm not in the mood." Matt lazily said with barely any energy.
"Come on, please?" Lynn pleaded in a playful tone.
"I'd rather just lay down and do nothing. I'm not even worth hanging out with. I'll just bore you to death."
Lynn cocked an eyebrow and scrunched her face. "What makes you think that?"
"'Cuz I'm useless and just a waste of space. No wonder my parents just abandoned me on the side of the road. Who would want an abomination like me?"
"Come on, Matt." Lynn smiled. "I know what'll cheer you up. Some family bonding time with your favorite sister!"
"You're not even my sister… and you're not my favorite." Matt replied, finally looking her in the eye.
"Well I'm gonna make you my favorite. Now come on!" Lynn grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away.
Matt and Lynn stood outside in the backyard, the day beginning already for the two of them. "Alright. First things first: Martial Arts." Lynn announced.
"How is martial arts a spor- OW!" Matt was interrupted as Lynn punched him in the face. He rubbed his face before turning to Lynn. "Ah fuck. I can't believe you done this." Matt told her in a British accent.
(To whomever doesn't get this reference… I dunno. I'm sorry for threatening you… please favorite this story so I can feed my kids.)
"Come on, Matterino." Lynn quipped. "Take it like a man."
"I'm trying, dad but you keep hitting me." Matt replied, again in his sarcastic tone.
Lynn began throwing punches left and right, to which Matt managed to block all of them.
"Hit me harder, daddy." Matt said in a moaning voice.
"Huh?" Lynn questioned in a confused tone, stopping the assault.
"What's down there?" Matt asked, pointing to the ground.
Lynn looked to the ground, a terrible mistake. Matt suddenly swept her off her feet by tripping her with his leg. She fell to the ground, in shock that Matt managed to beat her within mere seconds. Matt stood over Lynn with a stoic expression.
"Never lower your eyes to an enemy." Matt quoted.
Lynn got up and dusted some dirt off her. "How'd you learn to do that?" she asked.
"I learned Krav Maga from…" Matt hesitated for a moment. "Well… it was a long time ago."
"Oh yeah? Show me?" Lynn dared.
"Alright. Throw a punch at me." Matt ordered.
Lynn did not hesitate and threw a punch, only for Matt to catch it. He elbowed her in the face, causing her to fall backwards. However, he pulled her back towards him and headbutted her, now making her fall down to the grass. Matt brought a fist to Lynn's chest, as if he was holding a knife.
"You're dead. Not big surprise." Matt told her.
"Okay, so you know a few moves." Lynn groaned as she felt her nose. "Ow." she said. "I guess Martial Arts are out of the question. Which means we can go to one of my favorite hobbies."
"What's that?"
"Sports." Lynn eagerly replied.
"Of course." Matt rolled his eyes.
"So, you ready for some Cricket?" Lynn asked as she and Matt held Cricket bats.
"Cricket?!" Matt asked dramatically. "Nobody understands Cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand Cricket!"
"I'll teach you."
Lynn swung the Cricket bat as it smashed into Matt's lower legs. "AAAAHH!" Matt yelled in pain as he fell on the ground, grabbing his legs in pain. "I fully understand now." Matt sarcastically replied in a painful tone.
"So hockey is something we can't do but we can do an alternative of it." Lynn began. "Floor hockey!"
"Why not just air hockey?" asked Matt.
"Because that isn't a sport and floor hockey is better."
"I dunno about this.." Matt said. "What if we get in trouble?"
"Quit being such a Lincoln, dude." Lynn replied.
"Someone say my name?" asked Lincoln as he popped out his room.
"I was talking to, Matt, Stinkoln." Lynn responded.
"Are you guys about to play floor hockey?" the only brother asked.
"You bet we are. You wanna join?" asked the sporty sister.
"Mom and Dad said not to after last time, remember?"
"It took me several hours getting that puck out of my butt!" Luna shouted from her room.
"I bet it was a pain in the ass. Hahahahaha! Get it?"
"Luan. Oh my God. I will slap you."
"I'm not sure, Lynn." Matt cautiously said. "I don't want to get in trouble with your parents. What if they kick me out?"
"They won't. Now stop worrying and think fast!"
At that moment, Lynn swung the ball with her hockey stick, which hit Matt directly in his nutsack area.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Matt screamed out in excruciating pain. At that moment, every Loud sibling opened their doors and looked in the hallway to see Matt grabbing his ball sack area, crying on the floor. "You broke my dick off!" he sobbed.
"I didn't mean to shoot it towards your dick!" Lynn worriedly said.
"What happened, dude?!" Luna asked.
"Lynn shot a ball and it hit Matt's… area…" Lincoln replied. A painful looked grew on his face. "I could feel it from here. That hurt me." he said as he instinctively grabbed his private area.
"We should elect Lynn as the nutcracker for next Christmas. Hahahaha! Get it?" Luan joked.
"I can't feel my balls!" Matt cried as he sobbed some more.
"What's going up there?!" Lynn Sr asked from downstairs.
"Nothing!" everyone, sans Matt, replied.
"I'm on my period!" Matt shouted. "I'm bleeding!"
Matt had an extremely furious look on his face as he crossed his arms on the couch. "Heh heh. My B, dude." Lynn sheepishly apologized.
Matt was shown with his pants down and an ice pack on his boxers over his nutsack.
"Shut up, ponytail." Matt replied.
"Y'know, maybe floor hockey was a bad idea." Lynn admitted.
"Ya think?!"
"Hey, we still have a whole afternoon ahead of us! We can do something else. How about some baseball?" she offered.
"With two players? Don't we need a catcher and a outfielder or whatever they're called?" Matt asked.
"I got two friends who can fill in those spots, if you're still willing to hang out that is."
Matt sighed. "I made a promise and I'm a man of my word." he admitted. "Just let me rest up for a few seconds."
"Hey, Matty." Luan began as she walked over to him. "How's your," she began blushing. "how's your penis?"
"Luan, I got hit by a speeding ball. How do you think I feel? It hurts very much." Matt replied.
"How bad is it?" she asked.
"Trust me, you don't wanna know."
"Oh but I do. Can I see?"
Matt awkwardly stared at her, as if she just morphed into a giant lizard; he honestly had no answer for her absurd question.
Lynn, Margo, and Francisco waited at the Royal Woods Baseball Stadium for Matt to finish his business. Matt was shown peeing over in a bush, however he was aimless peeing, spraying it everywhere all the while holding his penis in one hand; his free hand swayed side to side, as he if didn't give a rats ass that he was peeing on public property.
"You sure about this, Lynn?" asked Francisco.
"Positive." Lynn answered her crush. "This is a great way to spend some quality bonding time with my new brother. Why so nervous?"
"Because you tend to be…" Margo tried to find the right words. "aggressive when you play sports."
"What? No, I don't!" Lynn retorted.
"Lynn, you threw your bat at a kid who didn't catch the ball." Francisco replied with a deadpan look and tone.
Lynn blushed as she took a moment to process. "Okay, I might get a little hyper when it comes to sports but this time I promise to calm down."
"If you say so." Margo rolled her eyes.
Matt walked over to the trio, just now zipping up his zipper. "It burns like a motha when I piss." he commented.
"Gee. One little mistake. I said I'm sorry." Lynn said in an annoyed tone.
"No, I've always had burning piss." Matt explained. "I should've used a rubba back then." The trio stared awkwardly at him, realizing what he meant. "I mean, I did try to stick it in her butt but she kept telling me not to."
"Okay! That's enough information!" Margo exclaimed.
"What? I was like, 'I'm sorry! I can't see! It's dark!'. It was like 2:43 at night at the time and we tried to be as quiet as possible and she was still somewhat drunk at the time-"
"Okay! We get it!" the trio told him.
"I'm just warning you guys."
The group stood quiet for a brief moment, not knowing how to respond to Matt, until Lynn broke the silence. "Play ball!" she shouted.
Margo crouched down at the catcher's position, a glove in her hand, Francisco was in the middle of the field as Lynn was pitching; Matt walked up to the plate and held the baseball bat in his hand.
Lynn squinted her eyes before pitching, throwing the ball towards Matt… only for it to hit his balls again.
"AAAAAAAAAHHH!" Matt screamed as he grabbed his area and fell to the ground. "You broke it again!"
"You threw it at his dick!" Francisco shouted as he grabbed his nutsack area, the pain passing to him.
"I guess my aim is off today." Lynn said to herself.
"Okay, you ready?" Margo asked at the pitcher's mound.
Everyone, sans Matt, switched places. Francisco was now the catcher, Margo was now the pitcher, and Lynn was the outfielder or whatever they're called. I dunno sports, dude.
"You throw that ball towards my balls, I'll bash your brains in like I'm Negan, you understand!" Matt threatened.
"No, I don't. Who's Negan?" asked Margo.
"Just throw the ball, Glenn!"
"Who's Glenn?"
"Just throw the ball!" Francisco shouted from afar.
Margo pitched and threw the ball; Matt swung his bat as hard as he could. The ball went outstandingly far, causing Francisco to run and not pay attention. The ball then left the park, a homerun was made.
"I don't believe it." Lynn said.
"Ha! Ha! That's what I'm talkin' about!" Matt cheered.
"It's out of the park!" Francisco shouted.
"I know!" Lynn shouted back, smiling. "Who knew Matt was great at sports?"
"No, I mean it's out of the park! It's gone!"
"What do you mean it's gone?" asked Margo.
"Oh, it's rolling down the sewer pipe right now."
"Whaaaaaaaaa?!"
"Talk about a low budget stadium. No blow or hookers. I'm outta here!" Matt exclaimed. "I like stealing third bases better."
"Ah nononono! We need that!" Lynn told Matt, whom held the base over his head. "What're you doing- AAAH! AAAAAAA-" Matt threw the base at Lynn, knocking her to the ground.
Lynn sat on the couch with a pout and crossed arms, along with a black eye on her left eye. Beside her was Matt, whom had his feet on the table. "That's for the nutsack." he told her.
"I said I'm sorry!" Lynn whined.
"Sorry ain't gonna heal these balls!"
"I'll heal your balls!" Luan said from upstairs.
"Shut up." he said quickly.
"Look, my B, dude." Lynn apologized once more. "Look, there's still some time left. We can do something else if you want."
"You know how to play poker?" Matt asked.
"No."
"Fuck." he said under his breath. "Okay, well I don't know what we can do."
Lynn's face brightened up. "Hey! I know what we can do!"
"I am NOT playing sports!" Matt shouted.
"Come ooooon." Lynn whined.
"No."
"Pleeeeease?"
"No."
"Pretty pleeeeease?" she gave puppy eyes.
"N. O."
"We'll get tattoos afterwards that'll say 'Sports Buddies'."
"I'm gonna get a tattoo that says, 'No'."
"Come ooooon. Pleeeeeease?"
"Alright, fine!" Matt shouted, having enough of her whining. "We'll play your stupid sports."
"Great!" Lynn exclaimed. "I know just the sport."
"Basketball? Are you kidding me?" Matt asked.
He held a basketball in his hand as he looked at the basketball hoop over the car garage. Lynn stood beside him, her fists on her hips as she smiled at him.
"Basketball is THE #1 sport in all of America." Lynn said.
"I thought baseball was."
"It's the most safest sport out there." Lynn countered.
"Yeah, tell that to the guy who broke his leg and the other guy who had his eye come out of his socket." Matt countered back.
Lynn shuddered at the thought of seeing the injuries. A quick flash of them appeared in her head, causing her to shudder more. "Just shut up and shoot, Matt."
Matt dribbled the ball in place before throwing the basketball. However, it hit the rim of the hoop and bounced back towards Matt, which hit him in the face. "OW!" he shouted as he fell to the ground, holding his nose. "My nose is in my brain!"
"Matt! Matt! Matt!" Lynn called. "Let me see. Let go." Matt let go of his nose; she widened her eyes in horror. "Oh my God!" she shouted.
"What?!"
"You're an idiot!"
Matt sniffed as he rolled his nose, which was perfectly fine and intact. "Where's your ball?"
"Over there." Lynn pointed to the street.
Sure enough, the ball was in the middle of the street. Before Lynn could even move a muscle, a car ran over the ball, which caused said car to topple over and begin crashing into the ground. The car rolled down the street before it impacted with another car.
A loud and constant honking could be heard from both cars as the whole neighborhood went silent, except for the honking.
Matt and Lynn looked at each other, not knowing what to do.
Suddenly, two pairs of thumbs up could be seen from both car windows.
"We're okay!" the drivers both said.
Matt turned to Lynn, whom did the same. "Trouble?" he asked.
"Trouble." she confirmed.
"Kitchen?" he offered.
"Kitchen." she agreed.
The two ran back in the house and locked the front door, not wanting to get in trouble.
"So check this out." Lynn started as the two stood in the kitchen. "You know how they have those protein shakes and everything."
"Yeah?" Matt replied.
"I just drink an egg yolk."
"Ew."
Lynn cracked an egg and let the yolk spill into a cup. Afterwards, she chugged the thing down like it was nothing. "Now you try." she said.
"Yeah, I'm good." Matt retaliated.
"Come on. Don't be such a wuss."
"I'm not being a wuss. I just don't want to throw up."
"Pssh. You're just like Lincoln."
"You called?" Lincoln asked as he popped his head in the kitchen.
"No, I was talking to Matt." Lynn answered.
"Oh, okay." He left.
"If by that you mean smart. Yeah. I am like Lincoln." he countered. "I don't drink disgusting stuff like egg yolks."
"But how are you gonna be fit if you don't drink your protein?" she asked.
"Ya know, I heard cum has protein." Matt said aloud, his finger on his chin as he looked up.
Lynn gave a deadpanned look. "Okay. That's just- Okay. Just-" she inhaled through her nose. "Okay." she had absolutely nothing to say to that statement.
"What, I'm just saying?"
"So what're you saying? You're gonna drink cum?" she asked.
"No. That's something women do if they're up to it. I mean, men can drink cum if they want but me personally, nah. I wouldn't. If the chick wants to swallow then she can swallow but I'm just saying I wouldn't really do it mostly because that'll seem gay even though I don't have a problem with homosexuality." Matt calmly stated.
"Thanks for the info, dude."
"You're welcome."
"Alright," Lynn looked up to the clock. "we have almost an hour left before dinner. What do you wanna do then?"
"Sports is out of the question because screw 'em!" Matt exclaimed. "How 'bout we do something I like to do."
Lynn had a confused look on her face as the sunset rays hit her cheeks. "This is your idea of fun?" she asked. She's shown sitting with her knees up on top of the roof, with Matt laying next to her; he rested his head on his hands as he crossed his right leg over his left one. "We're just sitting on the roof."
"And enjoying the sunset as well." Matt answered. He sighed in complete relaxation. "Isn't this nice? Just two people on the roof, enjoying the nice sunset."
"This is boring." Lynn said.
"Hey, you're welcome to get down anytime."
"No thanks. I'll get down when you get down."
"Suit yourself."
Matt closed his eyes as his smiled became more relax. The two sat in silence as Lynn watched the sunset fall down the horizon. "Hey, Matt."
"Yeah, Lynn?"
"You went to Royal Woods Middle School, right?" she asked.
"Sure I did." he responded, now looking her in the eye. "Why'd you ask?"
"Just wondering if you went to that school or another."
Matt shut his eyes again, the smiling forming back onto his face. "I went to all Royal Woods' schools. Royal Woods Elementary and now I'm in Royal Woods High."
"How was your school year during Junior High?"
"It sucked." Matt answered honestly. "Just like the rest of my school years. I got beaten up with oranges, with sauerkraut-"
"Wait, hold on." Lynn stopped him. "Slow down. You got beaten up with what?" she asked.
"So, back then there were fads going around the school." Matt began explaining. "There were those kids with the Yu-Gi-Oh cards, the Pokemon cards, Digimon. Well hitting me with a pillow case of oranges became one of them. One time during my P.E. class, we were doing nothing since it was a Friday, so we had the day off of exercising to do whatever we wanted. Well in the back of the school was a soccer field and on the side of the field were some orange trees. And the oranges fall during the June season, which it was back then, and this one kid got a pillowcase from home and filled it up with like, three to four oranges and began beating me with it. And so that became the new fad of the school and everyone got into it. Even Lori and Luna. They were the most frequent people who used to beat me up with oranges." Lynn's face turned one into shock after hearing that her own sisters were in on this. "So, I went to the teacher, Mrs. Mitscus, and I said to her, 'Help. They're hitting me with oranges.' and she said, 'I didn't see anything.' and she walked away." Matt began chuckling afterwards. "Man, I had a terrible Middle School experience."
"Did Lori and Luna really beat you up with oranges?" asked Lynn.
"Of course." Matt said, smiling. "Lori was in the upperclassmen P.E. class while Luna was in my own. Just ask them both. They'll probably deny it but don't worry, you're dear ol' brother will sort this out."
"You sound like a grandpa." Lynn bantered, chuckling.
Matt chuckled as well. "I guess I'm just old."
"Matt, you're 16."
"Yeah." his smile soon faded. "16 and already my life is crumbling to pieces…" He remained silent as he looked at the sky. "Where did it all go wrong?"
"Huh?"
"I'm meant to have a happy life with a loving family and yet here I am. On top of a roof of a family who does give a shit about me." Matt began ranting. "I was abandoned by own blood borne parents on the side of a road because they got a replacement for me. Now look at me. No friends, no family. I'm just a nobody. A loner, that's all. And I'm stuck talking to you people because no one else gives a shit about my sad, sad life. I'm nothing but a worthless, pathetic specimen on this God forsaken planet. Look at me. I'm sweaty and I have a headache. I've always had a headache. I lack companionship and I'm a scarred soul."
Lynn focused on her "brother" and listened to every word during his rant, feeling sympathy for the poor soul. "Matt." she said. He turned towards her. "Do you have depression?"
Matt sighed. "I'm not sure. I don't know. Maybe… maybe not. I just don't have the motivation to keep on living, ya know. I no longer find hunting fun anymore, and that's my hobby. I should be having fun doing it… But as of lately… I'm just not feeling it."
"Well whatever you have, we can get through it." she placed a warm smile on her face. "As a family."
"You keep saying that, as if we are." Matt said. "We all know I'm not family. I'm just some guy living with you until I move out."
"But Matt, that's what family is."
"Hm?" he turned to her to see her smiling.
"Family is all about living and learning." she started explaining. "Look at children. They live with their parents until they move out. That's what you're doing. So in a way, you are family, just not blood related. But just because we don't have the same blood, doesn't mean that you're not family. Family is all about the people that stick with you, that love you no matter what you are. They'll always be by your side 'till the end. You may not think we're not your family but to us, we see you as a second brother, a part of the family."
Matt turned away, the uncertain expression still glued to his face. "I don't know what family is anymore." he quietly said.
Matt sat on the couch in silence, the TV on in front of him. Not that he was listening to it. He was too busy thinking about earlier, on the roof, on what Lynn said about family. All his life, he never truly had family, and those that were betrayed him. At this point, he didn't really know what family truly meant at all.
"Kids! Dinner!" Lynn Sr exclaimed from the dining room.
Almost immediately, all the kids ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. Matt slowly got up from the couch, sighing heavily. He made his way to the dining room where he took a seat next to Luna. In front of him was meatloaf, with corn and mash potatoes with gravy on top of them.
He sat down and stared at his food, picking it with his fork, biting a little of the meatloaf.
"So, Lori." Lynn said with her mouth full before swallowing. "You know what I heard from Matt?" Lori looked at him. "I heard that you and Luna beat Matt up with a pillow sack full of oranges during Junior High."
Lori and Luna stopped chewing and dropped their forks on their plates.
"What? Is this true?" asked Rita in curiosity.
"It was a long time ago!" Lori pleaded.
"We were young back then!" Luna added.
"But you two are still young. Even you Lori." Rita said.
"We didn't know he was gonna be our future brother, dude!" Luna explained. "If it helps, we both regret what we did that day."
"We did?" Lori asked. Luna kicked her shin underneath the table. "Ow!"
"Well, I'm sorry that happened to you, Matt." Lynn Sr said. Matt however paid no attention to the conversation, and continued to stare at his food. "Matt."
"Huh?" Matt asked, snapping back into reality turning his attention to Lynn Sr.
"Lynn said that Lori and Luna beat you up with oranges." Lynn Sr explained. "I'm sorry that happened."
Matt went back to staring at his food. "It's fine." he said. The parents looked at each other in slight confusion. Sighing, Matt got up and placed his plate of food next to Luna's. "Here. You can have my share. I'm not hungry." he solemnly said before walking out the dining room.
The family followed him with their eyes as he exited the dining room. Not even knowing that Matt was in a very dark place right now in his life.
It was currently the middle of the night, as Matt laid on the couch. His face scrunched up during his sleep, currently having a nightmare. Various voices echoed through his mind during his nightmare.
They lied to me.
They shot at me.
They hates on me.
They're using me.
Afraid of me.
They're dead to me.
They are my ENEMY!
Matt's eyes suddenly widely opened, waking up from his nightmare. He looked all around to see that he was still in the Loud house. He saw his phone on the living room table; he extended his arm to reach the phone and turned it on, revealing the time: 1:43 A.M.
He sighed, placing the phone back on the table. He face upright, staring at the dark ceiling. He placed his right arm over his forehead as his left hand rested on his chest. This was just another nightmare he always have every night.
He didn't go back to bed until 5 A.M.
(Sorry this is so short. I can only think so much for a chapter...
Why do these words seem bigger than the rest? Is it because of the bold?... I'm not sure anymore.)
