dedicated to: rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)
prompt: fmylife(dot)com
rating: M
story: drabble eleven. sasuke's POV.
FML o11: While I was visiting my girlfriend's family for the first time, I talked to her dad. "So," he asked me. "What have you done recently that was great?" Without thinking, I said, "Your daughter." FML.

note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.

SPECIAL NOTE: this chapter is dedicated to my lovie Dictionary Ink, who has just accomplished 1000+ REVIEWS FOR HER STORY "Blink and You'll Miss Me." LOVE HER NOW.

summary: "So," Father Haruno began, sipping his tea. "What have you done recently that was great?" Without thinking, I blurted, "Your daughter." FML.


.o11.
by
SasuSaku Forever and Ever
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)

-

Doing the Daughter

-

Oh fuck.

I shouldn't have said that. Hell, I shouldn't have even come here.

But due to my girlfriend's bouncy bust (and of course, her beautiful angelic face), I did.

Ugh. She owed me big time.

Anyway, it first started out like this.

I was sitting down, eating tomatoes while watching CNN.

Then, all of a sudden, BAM.

Sakura bursts through my front door (for the thousandth time, Sakura, I told you the key is under the mat!), creating a Sakura-shaped hole, and screams, "GUESS WHAT, SASUKE-KUN?!"

"You got your period?" I muttered.

She punched me, and I groaned. "Ow."

"No, stupid! Kaa-san and tou-san want to meet you!"

My eyes widened.

The boyfriend. Meeting. The girl's. Dad.

Oh, fuck.

"No way."

She pouted. "PLEASE, Sasuke-kun?"

Damn Bambi eyes.

(Yes, I was growing up watching Bambi. There was nothing else that was good during my days. So...stfu.)

"No."

She furrowed her brows.

Uh oh.

Before I knew it, she was on top of me, knocking dear Tomato-chan out of my hand onto the dirty floor.

Using her (seductive) voice, she purred, "Sasuke-kun," nibbled on my earlobe. Her hand clenched the collar of my shirt, and her fingers traced my chest, tickling them through the fabric of clothing.

They met at my sudden bulge, stroking it up and down.

"Horny, Sasuke-kun?" she giggled.

Damn.

"Fine, whatever. I'll go."

She smiled. "Arigatou."

When she got up, I pulled her wrist so that she landed on me again.

"But why don't we finish what we started?" I smirked.

She leaned in for a kiss.

-

-

-

Ugh. A tux? She made me wear. A freakin' TUXEDO.

Yet she herself was wearing sweat pants and an old shirt.

(Was her bra strap hanging down from her shoulders? Mm, I bought that one for her.)

Sexy.

"Come on, dear little Saucy-cakes!" she pouted, grabbing me by the hand.

I am 6'3, FYI.

And she is just a fragile little angel, only 5'5.

Haha.

Sucks to be an Asian girl. All short and stuff.

(N/A: I AM ASIAN. AND SHORT. DDDx)

Mm. Cute, nontheless. Hot, nontheless. Sexy, nonetheless. And beautiful?

Beyond words.

She tugged harder.

"Come on, Sasuke-kun! They're waiting for us!" she pouted.

So, I got in my sexy black Volvo (even sexier when we're making love in the back seat, since the front seat has too many dials and switches and whatnot.) and opened the door for her on the passenger side.

She frowned, and said, "I want to drive."

What.

The.

Fuck.

I was doing this for HER. Meeting her parents.

FOR HER.

Dressing up in a retarded-looking tux.

FOR HER.

Letting her drive.

NOT FOR HER.

Volvo-chan is mine.

Mine.

(And so is she, but really, even though I love her more, this car screamed out the word SEXY. Like I do.)

Sadly, I tossed the keys towards her, and she smiled, kissed me, and her hand reached...well. You know. My penis was the size of a speedbump by then.

(No, Sakura, if you run over it, we won't be able to make babies anymore.)

In the passenger seat, she placed the keys in and ignited the engine. I leaned back, crossing my arms, and looking badass.

If only I were two months older...then I'd be able to legally smoke cigarettes and look even more badass.

She looked at me. With that smile.

So she grabbed my red silk tie and ravished my lips.

(Yes, of course, I took control. And yes, sex in the front seat is very, very hard. Like my dick.)

-

-

-

Ding Dong.

(No, not the "Ohh, you touch my ta-la-la!" song by Gunther and the SunShine Girls. But the real doorbell, idiot.)

My palms were sweaty. Sakura obviously noticed this, and held it, pressing it against her cherry-red lips.

Slight lipstick mark.

"You'll like them, Sasuke-kun. I promise."

"Hn."

She sighed, seeing my solemn expression. Pursing her lips, she asked, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Love me," I commanded.

She smiled. "But I do!"

"More."

Just as I was leaning in to press my lips against hers--

"So you're the famous Uchiha Sasuke."

Fuck.

And he was holding a cricket bat. You know, the ones that look like a paddle?

Not good.

Not good at all.

-

-

-

Sakura helped prepare dinner with her mother, while I was stuck sitting on a sofa, watching Father Haruno sip tea out of a cup.

"Tell me about yourself."

I could smell green tea. Japan's specialty.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke."

His eyebrow twitched, and he placed his teacup on the table next to him. "Go on," he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his hands.

"I was born in Konoha. I have a brother. And I am in love with your daughter."

Father Haruno winced, then nearly spat at him.

"You perverted rapist." was all he said before picking up his tea again.

"I am not a perverted rapist," I said, nearly raising my voice.

He eyed me, and said, "No seventeen year old is in love so quickly. Especially a male seventeen year old."

I scoffed. "Then you're a romantic retard."

Father Haruno luckily didn't hear this comment.

Sip.

Sip.

Sip.

Sakura...I'm feeling uncomfortable here. Hurry up and make the damn dinner, woman!

"So," he began, taking another sip of tea. "What have you done recently that was great?"

Without thinking, I blurted out, "Your daughter."

He spit out his tea, and looked straight at me with the evil glare. As in, DIE, glare. (I'm the master. But still. This guy scared me shitless.)

"Excuse me?! You did what to my Sakura-hime?!"

FML.

-

-

-

I acted calm. Crossed my arms, leaned back, straight face. Perfect.

Kinda.

Father Haruno was now standing. "My Sakura-hime isn't a virgin anymore? She lost her innocence to a filthy hobo like you?!"

I scoffed again.

"How could a hobo be as breathtakingly handsome as me?"

He growled. "Uchiha Sasuke, you have the biggest ego on the planet, jackass."

I chuckled. "Your daughter said that to me the first time we met."

"I wish it would've stayed that way. Damnit, you raped her! You raped my daughter! I will call the police on you, and fuck, you and your pedophilish self can go to jail!"

I rolled my eyes. "She's seventeen. In two months, I'm going to be eighteen. And anyway, ask her. She'll even tell you that we made love."

"M-MADE LOVE? I--IT'S SEX, YOU CAN'T MAKE LOVE!"

I chuckled. "Silly little Father Haruno. How could my dear, clever Sakura be brought up by someone like you?"

He was fully red, ready to pull out his matching red hair. "EXCUSE ME?!"

"Dinner's ready!" Sakura called out.

And so, smirking at her "Kiss the Cook" apron, I got up, and was momentarily excused from Father Haruno's killing wrath.

And the cricket bat.

-

-

-

Throughout dinner, Father Haruno glared daggers at me while I simply smirked, one arm around Sakura, and the other eating.

"So, Sasuke-san. Can you tell me more about yourself?" Mother Haruno smiled pleasantly.

Father Haruno growled.

"I have one brother--Uchiha Itachi, four years older than I. I was born in Konoha, and my best friend is Uzumaki Naruto, sometimes sadly. I have never been understood by someone until I met your daughter."

I squeezed Sakura's shoulder, and she blushed. Then, I removed my arm and under the table, I slid it up her thigh. She jumped.

"Awwh, that's sweet, Sasuke-san," Mother Haruno giggled. Father Haruno gave the look. Again.

Suddenly, Sakura's father looked at her mother and said, "Hana, could I talk to you in the kitchen?"

The surprised housewife got up, and I heard bickering in the kitchen.

"What did you and tou-san talk about?" Sakura asked, pursing her lips.

"Nothing," I smirked, kissing her forehead.

"HE'S A RAPIST, HANA! A RAPIST!" Father Haruno shrieked from the kitchen.

"No, he's not, Hachiro, he's a fine, young gentleman who cares for our daughter."

"LIES, HANA! LIES! HE PROBABLY HAS AIDS! MY POOR SAKURA-HIME IS GOING TO DIE. FROM AIDS. Because that bastard fucked her!"

...Silence.

"Awwh, that's so cute! They'll get married and have lots of grandchildren for me! And, ooh, did they use a condom? Safe sex is important before marriage!"

...

...

...

"Why did I marry you again?"

Shrug. "I dunno."

Sakura giggled at her parents' conversation, then got up, dragging me by the hand.

"I want to show you my room."

I followed her, and she led me upstairs, flicking on the lights.

So pink.

Everything was pink.

Pink walls, pink bed, pink dressers...all that stuff. And she even kept the stuff I gave her.

Shutting the door, she smirked.

"Why don't we christen these new sheets, Sasuke-kun?"

I pushed her onto the bed and she quickly removed our clothes.

-

-

-

Father Haruno had stopped yelling. "I'm going to check where Sakura-hime is."

As he trudged upstairs to her room, he opened the door, and asked, "Sakura-hime?"

Turning on the lights, he screamed in terror as he saw him doing the daughter. In his house.

And his precious cricket bat was being used. As a sex toy.

Eff his life.


i no, ahvent updated in 4ever. sue me. liek, i'ave always had the time but nvr the inspiration. it sucks. SUCKSSS. i need inspiration. seriously. i mean, i HATE writer's block. doesn't every1 else? and ugh my tyipng sucks here cuz im too lazy to fix it. i mean, it's an authors note. so. yeah.

read SHINIGAMI to TENSHI (rhyrhy!)'s story A Void. its' so damn good. dude, she pwns me by 99999999999999999999%. and more. i fail. epicly.

loveyouall. seriously. i love you to death. PMs are nice. feel free =D

and pass on some inspiration?

love always xoxo,

-ohh, &&xena

o12: Sasuke commanded, "Give me a cheer, Sakura." Forced to put on the cheerleading costume, she said dully, "Give me an F! Give me a U! Give me a Sasuke! Put it all together and what does that spell?" Oh dear.