It was, without a doubt, the worst morning ever. The sky was clouded over and everything seemed gray and dreary. Sonomi rolled over, not ready to get up. There was much to do and she didn't want to do any of it. Kumori had already informed the three girls they would be helping her prepare for her daughter's wedding.

The young woman sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She had cooking to do for Kumori and she wasn't too pleased about it.

Harusame was still huddled under her blankets, so her *~friend~* shook her awake. "Get up, Harusame. We have work to do."

The other girl groaned. "Five more minutes…It's too early." She mumbled groggily, turning away from Sonomi.

"No, you have to get up now. We have a lot to do for tomorrow and I want everything perfect for Gessho. She is going to have all of her dreams fulfilled, after all."

"I can't believe Kamatari is her fiancé. That is just too wild. She'll be so happy. I want to tell her soooooo bad."

"Well, don't. Kamatari, for whatever reasons, doesn't want her to know. And he's the one who needs to tell her."

"I hope he doesn't chicken out. She'll be devastated if he doesn't show."

"I think she'll cry just as much even if he does show. She loves him so much. She'll be angry with him for a little while because he didn't tell her, but then she'll be too happy to care. She's going to be so excited!"

"I'm excited." A huge grin spread across Harusame's face. "I'm glad that somebody here will get what they want at least."

"Don't worry…" Sonomi smiled slyly, "I'm sure things will work out for everybody in the end." She knew that Harusame had her heart set on Sojiro, but she was so damn shy about it. The former Tenken was just as bad. He skirted around the subject; avoiding it every time it came up or not finishing when he tried to confess.

Harusame looked at her suspiciously. What did she know? Something was up…

"Well, let's get to work, shall we?" Sonomi rose to her feet, stretching. "So much to do."

"Right." Harusame nodded.

* * * * *

Gesshoku slipped silently out the door and headed for the springs. She was so worried about what the following day would bring and she wanted to do nothing more than soak in one of the hot springs. She padded down the path, a towel slung over her shoulder, shivering against the chill of the December air. Snow littered the ground and it looked like more would come soon.

A puff of steam greeted her as she opened the door to her mother's favorite (and private) spring. She stepped inside, a lot on her mind, and closed the door. Standing at the edge of the spring, she slid off her yukata. Then she pulled it back up quickly.

Some one else was there.

"Come out." She said simply. Four years of traveling on her own had taught her how to sense the presence of others. "Come on; I know you're there."

The steam of the bath created a thick fog in the room; a swirling mist which cloaked everything around her. She peered through the haze, trying to find the person who was skulking around the small chamber.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed her from behind, causing her to scream in terror. She thrashed around, trying to free herself from her captor's grasp. "Let me go! Let me GO!"

"Darling, shush…It's me!"

"KAMATARI!" She whirled around, coming face to face with the man. In no time, her arms were around him, her head on his shoulder and she was squealing with glee. "You came back to see me!"

"Of course I came back. I can't stay long, but I had to see you." He hugged her tightly, his head against hers.

"I missed you so much." She sniffled, "I missed you more than any one can understand." Her eyes welled up with tears and she was soon sobbing into his shoulder.

"Don't cry." He said softly, "I'm here now. I missed you too. I missed you a lot, Darling. I wish I could stay. I just wanted to see how you were doing and make sure you were okay."

"I'm not okay." She sobbed, "Every one keeps telling me I have to do this, but I can't. I can't do this; I love you too much. I just want to run away…"

"Why don't you?"

"I can't. Mama expects me to do this. Father went through so much trouble to arrange it and he never bothered to find a groom for Nissho. I can't back out. My parents thought this would be best for me."

"But is it best for you?"

"In the end, I suppose it is. No one would ever willingly marry a girl like me."

"No one would ever marry a girl like me either." He said casually, causing her to laugh.

"I would marry you. Give me five or six years, and I'll be ready."

"I'm afraid you only have a day to get ready."

She was silent for a moment, drawing back to meet his gaze. Their eyes burned together and his heart began to pound. Then she laid her head back on his shoulder. "What if he doesn't like me?"

"He'll like you." A real smile crossed the man's face, "How could any one not?"

"I'm too loud."

"You're…exuberant."

"I'm lazy."

"Who isn't?"

"I'm-"

"Stop putting yourself down, Darling. If he doesn't like you as you are, there's no point in even caring what he thinks. You should never have to change who you are for some one else."

"I love you."

"I know." He brushed his fingers across her cheek, "Now you be good and make me proud tomorrow."

"I'll try…"

"I'll come back and see you again real soon." He kissed her on the forehead, "I promise."

"Don't go…" She wrapped her arms tighter around him, "Please, don't go again. I need you. You understand me." If he left her again, she would be devastated. She couldn't stand it, not knowing where he was or what he was doing. She had been worried sick. Was he okay? Was he warm and safe? Did he have enough to eat? Was he happy? Sad? Lonely? He couldn't leave her again.

"We've been together for a year and I know you don't like to be alone. But we both need some time away from one another for a while. You need to think about life with your new husband and I need to figure out what to do with my life next."

"But…But I love you. I don't want to be with any one else. If I could have anything for Christmas -anything at all- all I would want is for things to stay as they are. I don't care about presents, or the tree or any of that. All I want is to be an urôroni and to wander around with you."

"Sometimes, we can't always get what we want, Darling. Sometimes we have to do things we never intended to do. Sometimes we have to let go." His hand ran across her cheek, brushing away the tears. A sudden urge to kiss her washed over him, but he fought it, telling himself it wasn't the right thing. "Sometimes, the things hardest for us are the most important ones we could ever do."

"I'm not ready yet." She whispered, burying her face in his chest. "I'm not ready to let go."

"You have to. It's time to move on."

"I'm not ready…" She dissolved into tears as he pulled away from her, "By all that is good and holy, I'm not ready. Why can't I be selfish and get my Christmas wish? Why, Kamatari? Why…?"

"I'm so sorry, Darling. I'd stay if I could, but I need to go." His heart was heavy and tears tickled his eyes. One of her hands clutched his and she looked up, her eyes wide, her face streaked with tears. "I need to go away. There's still something I need to learn about myself."

"No…" Her head bowed; both of their actions a whisper of the past. Her short hair framed her face, hiding it from his view, but he knew she was still crying.

"Good bye." He tilted her face back up, this time kissing her softly on the lips, "I love you, Gesshoku. Good bye."

And she could only sit there and stare, tears pouring from her eyes.

* * * * *

"Where's your sister?"

Nisshoku looked up from her book. Her mother was speaking to her and she had ignored her, which was not uncommon. She disliked the way their mother went about doing things. There was a bond between herself and her twin; a bond no one could understand, not even she herself. Gesshoku was suffering more than any one would ever understand. Nissho could see it in the far-off look in her sister's eyes. "Perhaps she went to use your favorite spring?" She suggested lightly, "She has been rather tense lately."

"Don't you use that tone with me, young lady." Kumori looked sharply at her elder daughter, "I suppose asking you to find her would be far too much work. You just go back to your book and never mind that there's a wedding tomorrow."

She slammed the book shut, springing to her feet. "Mother, don't you care how much Gesshoku is suffering? Don't you understand? She is in love with some one else. And you…You're forcing her to do this! You're making her miserable!"

Kumori's eyebrows went up and she looked at Nisshoku. The twins had never been particularly close, but they had always looked out for one another, always taken good care of one another. "Your father-"

"Don't give me that, Mother! You're lucky that Gesshoku didn't leave. You're lucky she gave up her one chance at happiness for this. You've always been so cold and heartless. Bitter over the love you felt for that man you couldn't marry. Maybe Gesshoku's crazy okama would never marry her. Maybe he would never even love her as she loves him, but, Mother, she was happy. And you took that away from her." Nisshoku's brown eyes were dark with accusation, "You made her into you."

This said, the older twin turned sharply on her heal and marched from the room, book in hand. She had every intention to go find her sister and tell her to leave. She wanted Gessho to follow her heart wherever it may lead, so that at least one of them would be happy. But then, catching sight of a figure leaving their mother's favorite spring, she paused, a smile curling upwards on her lips. I'll be damned…

Kamatari…

* * * * *

Kamatari wiped his eyes, brushing away the tears which clung to his eyelashes. Why? Why did I do that? Why did I have to go and do that? I made us both cry…

But I had to see her. I had to see her one last time before I go away. Koishii…My Koishii. The faintest of smiles crossed his face, I love her so. I loved her when I was an innocent child; before my world turned over. I loved her as a teenager, when I was beginning to discover things about myself which no one would ever approve of. And I loved her when we were together. I loved the way she would tackle me in those hugs, the way she looked up at me, her eyes wide and sparkling with joy. But most of all, I loved how she accepted me as I am. She knew what I was and she loved me anyway; she didn't question me. She truly loves me unconditionally.

He looked up at the graying sky, taking in the gathering clouds. It was going to snow again and that pleased him. He wanted the world to be beautifully white when he made all of Gesshoku's wishes come true the following day.

Yes; Kamatari intended to marrying Gessho the following day. So why had he said good bye as if he would never see her again? Because, in a sense, he wouldn't be seeing her again. He was going to make her happy tomorrow and neither of them would ever be the same. They would meet on Christmas Eve as strangers.

* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *

I'm at home! At home, I say! And here I will be for a MONTH!