This fic is also on my tumblr blog where my username is Kuno-chan and my blog name is Dragoness Ramblings.

Disclaimer: Legend of Korra belongs to Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko


Korra: The Knife


Dear Katara,

Still don't know where I'm going. I've been wandering around for a few weeks and I don't know when I'm going to stop. I'm tired.

Tikaani

The second letter was so painfully short, but Korra felt it breathe life into her. There was her daughter's handwriting right in front of her face.

She'd written.

And nobody had said a word to Korra. Here she was practically going grey over her daughter's disappearance and nobody had thought it courteous to tell her that her missing child had been writing to them?

Nostrils flaring, Korra nearly ripped the letter shuffling it to the back of the pile and was dismayed to find the last letter was even shorter.

Dear Katara,

Got a job. Doing fine. Tell my grandparents for me please.

Tikaani

The words were like water and here she was feeling like she'd been in the Si Wong Desert for ninety days. How many times had she prayed for any word of her daughter? How many times had she looked into the vines and been heartbroken that she couldn't see anything? Was it because their connection wasn't strong enough? Deep down, Korra knew. After all, Tikaani had grown up knowing her mother's abilities and, to top it off, was trained by an airbending master who'd also been Korra's guide into the spirit world. More than likely, it was probably combination of of all those things.

Tikaani was adaptable and had always been good at using what she had to achieve her ends. It was believable to think she simply had cut herself off from her mother even in such an obscure way.

Korra wanted to cry as she read the letters again, feeling tears of a thousand different emotions welling up in her eyes.

But how many times had she hoped to the moon that any word from Tikaani would come back? Countless nights and countless days had been spent aching for something she felt just wasn't there. Crying when she didn't want to cry, but just couldn't help herself. Angry at everyone and, yet, no one but herself.

Korra would have done anything to read these letters.

And of all the people in the world that had kept them from her... Katara?

Katara who was her first bending master. Katara who was more than a teacher to her, but family. Katara who had urged her to find her own path as the avatar. Katara who had helped her learn how to walk again. Katara who was so wise and kind. Katara who'd been like another grandmother to her own children. Katara who'd been everything she needed when no one else knew how to be.

Katara who she'd least expected to do something like this in every way.

"Katara..." Korra breathed, gesturing to the letters with violently trembling hands. She struggled to breathe and her throat felt like it was closing up as she swallowed hard. "I-I-I don't... Katara you know- I've waited- We've waited! Mako and I! Nuka! I have waited to hear anything from my daughter and- a-a-and how? How could you? Dare you?"

She had so much to say, but could barely bring herself to talk at all. One of the rare times she sputtered over her words, Korra wasn't sure if she was seething or wracking with shock. On one hand, she was furious no matter what Katara's reasons were. On the other hand, what were those reasons in the first place?

Sighing, Katara looked up at Korra.

"Korra, I'm sorry."

"You keep saying that, but you still haven't told me why! Why would you keep this from me?" Korra started to raise her voice a little. "When did this start? What happened?"

"Korra, I never did this to hurt you or your family," said Katara, shaking her head. "I only did as she asked me to do. She asked me not to say anything so I didn't."

Korra shook her head right back. That wasn't enough.

"Tell me everything. When did these start?"

Katara pursed her lips.

"The first letter came a couple weeks after she'd left." Korra actually had to sit down. Spirits, a couple weeks. Katara went on. "The second one came maybe a week after that. Then, the third one came about a month after that once she'd stopped by."

Korra let out some kind of noise into her hand that sounded like she was choking back both a sob and scream. When she'd composed herself, she took her hand away and began wiping a falling tear.

"She came by? She visited you? Did my parents know about that too or what?"

Katara shook her head again.

"They only knew about the letters-"

"Was she okay? Was she healthy?" Korra cut her off. "Did she look like she was eating? Katara, was she hurt?"

"She was fine," said Katara, frowning sadly. "She only came by to visit me. She didn't tell me much, but she wanted somewhere to be comfortable for the night. That was all. I fed her and gave her food to pack and told her should come by anytime. I begged her too... she hasn't visited again, but I figured as much. She also asked me not to tell anybody about it."

"Then why tell me now?" snapped Korra. "Why even bother when you've already kept it this long?"

"It was time."

"Time? It was time? Katara-"

"I wasn't proud of it," said Katara, her voice soft. "I never wanted to keep it from you, but she asked... I haven't heard from her in nearly a year and so when I heard that you were coming I felt like it was time."

"You got as worried as I did," said Korra, her voice thick, but cold. "I'm over here sick always worried about her and you started to feel that too, didn't you?"

When Katara didn't say anything, Korra growled in frustration and buried her face in her hands. She just wanted to scream.

"I know you're angry with me..." began Katara. "And I'm sorry that I hurt you. But Korra... she was just so lost."

Korra bit down on her lip, doing her best not to outright cry like a baby in Katara's living room.

Lost.

Taking deep breaths, she rubbed her forehead with her hand.

"No, no," Korra smacked her forehead with her palm now. "No, it's not... Katara, it's not your fault. You were just trying to help and I just... I... I just don't know either."

Neither of them said anything, a sobering silence washing over. Her daughter felt lost and that was all her own fault. The truth of the matter was that Korra could save the world a thousand times, but failing to be a proper mother to her daughter would always make her feel as if her own was crumbling around her. How did you just learn be okay with that? The answer, at least for herself, was that you never were. Somewhere in the back of your mind the guilt drove you a little mad.

Because that's what guilt's purpose was, wasn't it?

To drive you wherever it needed to drive you until you broke.

She didn't ask when she felt Katara leave the room and didn't look up when she returned. Spirits, as horrible as it sounded, Korra didn't want the whole world to matter just for a few minutes.

"I..." began Katara, her voice creaking. She sighed. "When Tikaani came by, besides food, I gave her something. This."

Korra finally looked up, slowly, coming face to face with an ornate box Katara had open. Inside, an elegant blue, white accented comb lay on velvet. The comb lay on one side, but the other side was empty, soft indents inlaid in it.

"A comb?" asked Korra softly.

Katara nodded. She put the box down on a nearby table and took the comb out, pulling on the handle. To Korra's mild surprise, the comb came apart and a blade revealed itself out of the handle.

Korra stared for a moment, then smiled faintly. She couldn't help herself.

"Tikaani probably loved that," she chuckled.

Katara returned the smile, putting the comb back together and looked down at it fondly.

"Aang brought this home for me a long time ago," she said, her voice but a whisper. "He'd bought it and hadn't realized that they were actually secretly knives. To him, they were just beautiful combs that he wanted to give me I had so much hair..."

Korra opened her mouth, then closed it again. She let out a breath.

"That must be really special then..." she said quietly.

"It is." Katara nodded, holding it tighter now. "And that's why I gave it to Tikaani. She needed to know that someone trusted her with something."

Sighing, Korra stood up, suddenly exhausted.

"I dotrust Tikaani. I just missher."

"And I know you do," said Katara, gentle. "I gifted this to her because I miss her too. I wanted her to have a piece of home... a piece of familywhile she's out there. Either way, Korra... I am sorry."

Korra looked down at her former master again. Even now, apart of her felt like she'd missed an opportunity. Like she'd missed a chance to get her daughter back home even if it had passed months before, but...

"It's okay," said Korra, shaking her head. She put her hands on Katara's shoulders and actually pulled her into a hug, relieved when she felt the older woman's arms around her as well. "Don't worry about it. I know you and just... thank you, Katara. Thank you for being there."

Thank you for being there when she didn't want me around anymore, Korra thought somewhat glumly though she tried not to.

Korra's only wish that night was for her baby to not feel alone. If anything, Tikaani could hate her all she wanted and it would hurt... yes, it would hurt very much, but at the very least what peace of mind Korra needed was that her daughter wouldn't feel afraid.

That being said, Tikaani was fearless. That comb-knife would hopefully assure her spirit remained so.

-:-:-:-

Retuning, Korra wasn't in the mood to relay the message to everyone when she got back to her parent's house the night before. Her son didn't really need to know and now she understood Katara's sentiment. Moreover, she didn't want to jeopardize Nuka's relationship with Katara until she could figure out a way to tell him in a way he would understand.

She didn't talk to her parents about the matter, but made sure to give them a reassuring smile when she came home. Later, when Mako finally learned of it, he reacted similarly to her though he got his head on faster than she did.

"I know..." sighed Korra, rubbing her husband's back as they sat up in bed. "Mako, I hated it too, but... Katara only did it out of love."

Mako mirrored her sigh, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"I know she did... it's just unfair..." he said weakly and Korra rested her head on his shoulder consolingly. "The whole world seems to be... I just want my daughter back..."

Korra bit her lip, hugging him as he also put an arm around her and they flopped back onto their pillows.

She weighted herself on his side as he kissed her forehead, nothing needing to be said.

They both wanted her back.

"We're tired..." she said quietly. "Let's just get some rest."

-:-:-:-

The next morning, the whole family started out early. Her mother made them all a hearty breakfast before they finally went on their way and Korra did her best to make sure both her parents knew she wasn't upset at them. They didn't need to talk about the matter, but know that she understood.

Soon, they could talk about it if they wanted, but right now they needed to get down to business.

Though she was here on official Avatar duties, it was nice just walking and riding with her family through the streets of the North Pole. Mako and Korra rode Naga while her father and Nuka rode on Tamaija.

Nuka patted Tamaija's side.

"She's a sturdy girl," he told his grandfather. "At least she actually let us ride her. Tavra doesn't really let anyone ride him anymore."

Her father looked back, smiling sadly at him.

"Some dogs are like that unfortunately," he said ruefully. Korra tried to pretend she didn't hear it. She was doing her best not to damper the morning with thoughts of the previous night, but it was indeed a sad reality that Tavra no longer let anyone ride him since Tikaani left. The dog functioned just fine in every other part of his life, but riding... it apparently didn't have the same luster it used to since his favorite riding buddy was gone.

"So, dad," said Korra, trying to change the subject. "Can you tell me what Eska and Desna want to see me about? What do you guys all want to talk about?"

Her father shook his head at her.

"We're almost there."

Korra took the hint. Classified information.

Just great.

The Northern Water Tribe palace was as grand as it'd always been. An elegant fortress of ice and power that Korra used to have a certain resentment in the days when she didn't exactly see her cousins in a better light. Over the years, however, Eska and Desna had come around. As much as they could that was. Years of ruling a nation, she assumed, must have made them wise and more empathetic in their own ways. If anything, Korra at least felt a bit more familial love when they referred to her as 'Cousin Korra'.

The dogs were kept outside as her father led them deeper into the Northern Water Tribe palace. It made perfect sense as to why her parents preferred to have a second house in the North Pole rather than live in the palace every time her father had business there. While Korra didn't mind the palace so much, she imagined her father probably retained unpleasant memories. Even if he didn't show it.

She should have been used to it by now, but she would never find it one hundred percent normal to have people bowing to her father. Not that he didn't deserve it, but she supposed to her he was just, well, Dad.

When they finally got further in where there were less people around, her father glanced back.

"We're not going to anywhere special exactly, but we are going to go underground where your cousins have a more private meeting room. Kind of like a bunker."

"Like a bunker?" Korra frowned. "They really don't want anybody overhearing us, huh?"

"Not a chance," he said, quieter.

They got to a staircase near the back of the palace and followed it far down into what looked like refurnished catacombs. Ahead, a dome like metal ball rested in the back, looking half fused with the ice surrounding it.

The two guards at the door let them in swiftly and inside were Desna and Eska sitting patiently on two simple throne-like chairs.

"Cousin Korra," greeted Desna – or at least Korra thought he was greeting her – his voice as deadpanned as it'd always been. "It's good to see you."

"It's been a long time, Cousin Korra," said Eska, her voice the same nature as her brother's. "You son looks healthy."

Beside her, Nuka waved somewhat awkwardly.

"Uh, hi Aunt Eska. Hi, Uncle Desna."

The twins nodded at him and Mako, then looked back at Korra.

"It certainly has been a while," said Korra, smiling a little. "It stays busy. You know how it is."

"We do," said Desna. "That would be why you're here."

Korra folded her arms over her chest, ready to get the ball rolling.

"That's true," she said seriously. "Well, let's get down to it."

"Let's," said Eska, gesturing robotically to a few nearby chairs. As they sat down, she went on. "Uncle Tonraq, have you told her anything?"

Her father shook his head.

"No. I thought it'd be best to keep all of this under wraps. We don't want any of this being leaked out to anyone."

Eska nodded before turning back to Korra.

"Cousin Korra, are you familiar with Tsai Labs?" she asked, blessedly cutting straight to the point.

Frowning, Korra thought about it. She'd heard it somewhere, but couldn't quite put her finger on it...

"I can't say I have. At least I can't think of it right now, but it sounds familiar."

Beside her, Nuka tentatively started raising his hand.

"Have you?" she asked her son.

"Er, yeah," he said, dropping his hand. "Genji mentioned something about them. I think they have some kind of development deal with Future Industries. They're this really big science research place I think..."

"Correct," said Desna. "To be more accurate, they are a scientific developmental corporation that deals with progression in anthropology and anthropology related fields."

Anthropology?

"Meaning...?" ushered Korra.

"They study humans," said her father. "Or things forhumans at least. They help in the progression of medicines, technologies used by humans, things like that."

"So, they study all things concerning people?" asked Mako.

When her father nodded, Korra had a sinking feeling. She was having a lot of those lately and they were all turning out to have reasons for it. They studied all things human... for some reason that sounded creepy.

"So, what's the problem with them?" she asked.

"The problem," began Eska. "Is that we believe they're meddling with things they should be. Right here in the Northern Water Tribe. You see, one of our top engineers has a projects they've been working on and we recruited the help of Tsai Labs to assist her. However, she reported some... questionable things she's overheard."

"Questionable...?" Korra asked cautiously. "What questionable things?"

Eska and Desna looked at each other once more, their faces blank, then turned back at Korra.

"We believe that Tsai Labs are using spirit vines in their research. Experimenting if you will."

Korra froze.

Spirit vines...?

Spirit vines?

Images of Kuvira, the Colossus and a near ruined Republic City flashed behind her eyes and she nearly stood up. The spirit vines were off limits, if not forbidden by herself than by the spirits themselves. Twenty years ago, Kuvira used the spirit vines to help conquer a nation. Now, somebody dared to try and use them once more?

"Who said it? What did they say?" Korra leaned forward, eyes narrowed and feeling a surging in her chest. No one would repeat Kuvira.

"According to her, she reported evidence that the spirit vine research was being misused," said Eska. "We don't exactly know what for, but to make a long story short she's been spying inside their company for us. We're... concerned."

"You're concerned because what does a science company that studies humans need research on spirit vines for. Doesn't make any sense, but at the same time-"

"-why do they even have research on spirit vines?" Korra asked seriously.

When they didn't answer, She pressed on.

"Eska. Desna. Why do they have spirit vine research in the first place?"

Seemingly hesitant in their silence, it was Desna who answered her.

"The engineer was able to get her hands on spirit vines and suggested several improvements we could benefit from if -"

Korra actually stood up now.

"I won't allow it," she said firmly. "You cannot use spirit vines for anything. Leave them alone. Do any of you remember Kuvira's war? The one she nearly obliterated Republic City over?"

"This research is different," said Eska.

"How? How on earth is it different!?" Korra was beginning to raise her voice now. She could feel Mako's hand on her arm, but she went on. "I won't allow it!"

"This research is to benefit people," said Eska. "The Water Tribes are isolated from most of the world and this puts us at a technological disadvantage. If a deadly epidemic were to break out our people could face high death tolls compared to other nations. This spirit vine research is being applied to fields such as medicine. It is not for war."

"It wasn't for war the first time around," growled Korra. "Varrick started to research the vines so he could harness it for clean energy! To help people! But it got into the wrong hands and we should all remember how that went! I certainly do and so do the people who lost their loved ones when Kuvira was on her power trip! She used it to build a giant robot wielding a spirit energy canon!"

How could... how could her cousins be so foolish? Was her father in on this and how exactly had they gotten the vines in the first place?

"There are certain things we really shouldn't be messing with," said Mako just as seriously. "And the world should have learned it's lesson about spirit vines twenty years ago. If anything because the vines themselves don't like it when you try and harvest them."

"We realize this, but we were assured that the vines were taken peacefully," said Desna.

"Oh, you were assured." Korra sighed restlessly, running her fingers through her hair. "How long has this research thing been going on?"

"Five years," replied Desna.

Korra almost choked on air. Five years of spirit vine research? In what world did that sound okay? Maybe the vines would prove some kind of helpful to medicines and other benefits, but that kind of thing almost always got into the wrong hands. Sometimes, the knowledge just couldn't be explored. Shouldn't be.

"And there is another thing," said Eska.

Korra looked up expectantly. She was getting so tired of this. What now?

The twins looked to her father and he nodded, turning to her.

"Zaheer is dead."

Korra blinked.

"... I'm sorry?"

"Zaheer is dead, Korra."

"But... what? Did he just get sick?" she asked warily. "... don't get me wrong. I'm glad you told me, but why are you saying that like there's a bigger reason for it?"

Her father frowned.

"Because he was murdered," he said. "They found his body along with the bodies of the White Lotus guards on duty at the prison. Gates open and everything. Someone broke into the prison and killed him. From the looks of the autopsy, they believed he was electrocuted to death."

Korra was rubbing her face now, trying to take inventory of all the new crazy things popping up at once.

In the span of less than two weeks she'd had Air Temple Island mysteriously attacked, the Beifong family nearly murdered, apparently spirit vines were being harvested without her knowledge and, now, Zaheer was dead?

"I know what you're thinking," said her father. "I've heard about Air Temple Island and Suyin filled me in on what went on in Zaofu just before you arrived. Something's going on in the world."

"Finally someone besides me can say it... but this spirit vine thing isn't helping," said Korra, throwing herself down onto her chair "It has to stop. I need to meet this engineer. Something. I can't have this going on while I'm still trying to investigate an attack and an attempted murder."

"You will meet with her. Tomorrow," said Eska. "She's arriving from an abroad business trip and will be back to work the same day. You can speak with her then."

"Fine... fine just.. is this all?" When they nodded, Korra rubbed her eyes with a hand.

Just... everywhere she went...

As they left, Mako suggested they go home and take a nap. She only nodded, albeit appreciatively. That sounded like a fabulous idea.

The day had just started and she was already so tired.

-:-:-:-

In her dreams that night, the dragon from before came back.

Korra looked ahead, surrounded by the darkness and illuminating green mist. Out of the mist, she could see a shape and it changed every time she blinked. She couldn't move, but it was as if she were getting closer with each blink.

First, she saw Nima simply standing in the middle of the mist. She stood there, her expression otherwise blank.

Coming out of the dark, a green dragon formed from the mist and towered over Nima, opening it's jaws over her head. Korra fought to move, but not a muscle would budge. Something invisible was holding her into place and she could do nothing except watch.

She blinked.

Now, something inside of Korra burned as the dragon wrapped itself around a new girl.

Tikaani stood there, her face stony as always and as if nothing was happening. The dragon wrapped it's long slithering body around her daughter, opening it's jaws over her head as well.

Rearing like a snake, the dragon brought it's mouth over Tikaani's body whole and, finally, snapped it's jaw's shut.

Then, Korra woke up.

Her eyes snapped open and she flew into a sitting position, holding her chest as if it were going to burst it was beating so hard.

The dragon.

Why did she keep seeing a dragon?

Was it... was it a spirit perhaps...?

Korra got out of bed, careful not to wake Mako beside her. She looked out her window and into the night sky from the balcony. She tried to think about other things. Anything.

She tried to think about being home and how it was nice that her parents could afford a second home here in the Northern Water Tribe. She tried to think about her mother's happy face at seeing her. She tried to think of her son and how he and Mako had a great relationship with her father.

She just tried to think of family.

But nothing worked and she only found her eyes and mind drawn to the spirit portal projecting into the night sky.

The more her mind was drawn to it, the more her feet were.

Quickly and quietly, she got dressed and left the house. Something was calling her and she had to know what it was. It'd been a while since she felt like this and she'd wondered if the chaos of the last year had disrupted something in her spiritual connection, but for now her mind was focused. That dream had awakened something in her. Like a signal. She had to know what it was.

Not exactly knowing where she was going, Korra simply traveled to the spirit portal and entered it. She didn't move when she found herself in the spirit world, but only closed her eyes and let that signal take her to wherever she was trying to go.

When she opened her eyes again, she found herself in a field of flowers with another spirit portal torn into the center.

The portal leading to Republic City...?

Without hesitation, she walked through it and into the vine inhabited ruins of what used to be the old downtown of Republic City.

Searching, she looked for anything out of the ordinary. On the buildings, in the shadows, in the sky, on the ground... anywhere. She was being led here and followed wherever she was being tugged to.

What was here? wondered Korra. I was meant to see something here.

Something wasn't happening... it'd already happened. She couldn't exactly explain why she knew that and a lot of her "spirit feelings" were fairly unexplainable anyway so she usually just followed them instead of putting them into words. Whatever this feeling was, it was trying to tell her that something occurred here.

Her eyes peeled, Korra looked to the sky and then to the ground directly beneath her by chance. She searched along that patch of loose vines. As her eyes moved, she spotted a corner where the vines looked like they had grown strangely. Getting closer, she frowned. Very strangely. They looked so even...

Like they'd been cleanly cut.

Getting on one knee, Korra took the vines in her hand and observed it. She inspected that particular patch, frowning as she found yet more and more cleanly cut vines.

No natural force was going to cleanly cut vines like that. Not in such a precise manner. They'd been cut like rope. Almost as if they'd been clipped.

Had somebody...?

How? How was anybody going to cut any vines without her knowing? How were they going to do it in the first place? Spirits vines were not at all easy to cut... Was she so messed up lately that her spirit connection had been all but severed? The years since Kuvira had been harvesting vines had only stregnthened her spiritual connection. Had the past year been this hard on her?

"How the..." She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why didn't I feel this? If the vines were being cut I would have known. I would have felt this... why...?"

And it was there that something clicked in her brain as she turned her head into the direction of Yue Bay.

Her eyes widened.

Yes, she would have felt this, but even Korra had to admit she was only human. Her mind could only be focused on so many things at the same time.

She wouldn't have felt it if she were busy fighting invaders on Air Temple Island.


We finally have a small piece of the puzzle! And all of that madness on Air Temple Island was just something to keep Korra distracted?

The plot thickens! Our time in the North Pole is going to get real interesting real soon so don't miss out!

One thing I also wanted to highlight with this chapter was simply just how exhausted Korra is. Just in every way. She's so tired and dealing with so much it's kind of crazy. And there's just so much obligation for Korra at once and all these things keep on popping up like daisies that she can barely catch her breath.

Don't want to say too much and spoil anything though!

As always, guys I really love it when you drop those reviews! They're really such great motivation and they keep me writing so I can get the next chapter out faster! Every word means a lot! Thank you for reading! Tune in for next chapter!