Author's Note - Part 2, coming after Part 1, the first one, meaning that this one would be second one. Or would that be that this two would be second two? No matter.
Disclaimer - I do not any characters from SSBM, Sonic the Hedgehog, MST3K, or Lord of the Rings.
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Chapter 11 - Smash Survivor Part 2
If you've just tuned in, you should just go back a chapter. If you refuse to for some extremely bizarre reason, then we'll fill you in on who's been voted off:
Ms. Samus Aran (Orange-Suited Metroid Woman), Itr. Mewtwo Shadows (Killer Eyed Pokémon), Ms. Nana Snowball (Female Midget in Snowsuit), Ms. Jigglypuff Lullaby (Singing Balloon Pokémon), Mr. Ganondorf Dragmire (Dark-Hearted Powermonger), Mr. Young Link Masters (Prepubescent Hero of Time).
Anyway, back to the bloody show!
DAY 07 - BLUE TEAM
Luigi - AIIIIE!! Where did we go in that brief period of nothing?!
Popo - Relax. It was just the ending of Chapter 10 and the beginning of this chapter, Chapter 11.
Fox - Chapter 10 was really, really embarrassing.
Pikachu - For you, yeah. Speaking and yelling out how much you love Zelda.
Marth - What's up with all that, anyway? Who the hell cares about romance anymore?
Captain Falcon - Wait, aren't you married?
Zelda - Sigh. Things are so complicated in a humor story.
Daisy - Least it's a erotic story, honey, or we'd be kissing each other.
Yoshi - And much more than that! But I don't want to go into details.
Mr. Game & Watch - I agree. Yoshi, you don't go into details. Zelda and Daisy, you two do.
Yoshi - That's a really crude joke.
G&W - Give me a break, it's just the beginning of the chapter!
DAY 07 - RED TEAM
Pichu - My goodness, this chapter is sure off to an extremely dilatory pace! I surmise that the author is possessing hot water devising modernistic intellections!
Bowser - God, do you ever speak in a way that normal beings can understand?
Link - Oh, I can see how you are a normal being, eh Bowser?
Peach - Hey, you're the one who tried to pound Fox just for liking Zelda!
Mario - Don't-a knock him-a, Peachy! He's-a dissing Bowser!
Kirby - Gee, I hope there are more cameos this time!
Falco - Are you all quite done? We have to be ready for when the Immunity Challenge starts!
Ness - What for? The contest are either pure luck, Peach winning because the host is Dr. Mario, or a bikini mud-wrestling contest!
Donkey Kong - Ooo, I think I speak for everyone when I say I wouldn't mine seeing the wrestling match again!
Roy - Geez, why are we revising what happened in the last chapter? Anyone reading this one most certainly read this one!
Pichu - Oh, I do not imagine that to be the accurate supposal for the current circumstances. We are dealing with internet autochthons, and several of them are quite maladroit. There are those who would read this tale out of placement.
Kirby - Would they really do something that weird and stupid?
Pichu - We are divulging about humans, Kirby.
Kirby - Oh yeah.
DAY 07 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
Master Hand - I'm glad you all came back after the first chapter.
Fox - Hey there, where's Dr. Mario?
Master Hand - He couldn't make it; let's leave it at that. Anyway, as I was saying, it's really nice when characters come back. Not like Samus, Mewtwo, Nana, Jigglypuff, Ganondorf, and Young Link! Bunch of bastards...
Peach - They were voted off!
Master Hand - Really? Gosh. Maybe I should actually watch the show.
Marth - Don't you produce it?
Master Hand - Ooo yeah, I do. Gee, it is costing me a small fortune too...
Pikachu - You pay for the show, and you don't even watch it?!
G&W - Man, that says something about the ratings we're getting.
Master Hand - Well actually, the ratings have been higher than The Simpsons ever since the bikini mud-wrestling contest with Peach and Zelda. So if you don't mind, I'd like to do it again for today's Immunity Challenge-
Zelda - Oh no you don't! I'd rather eat salty razor blades!
Master Hand - Ooo yeah, today's an eating contest! The first food item is a red snapper!
Yoshi (Blue) and Kirby (Red) - HELL YEAH! I LOVE RED SNAPPERS!
Master Hand - No professionals-
Mario - Too-a late.
DK - Wow. They ate all of the food that was for the contest. And the table that it was on. And the chairs they were supposed to sit on. ... And some of the other contestants.
Luigi - (muffled, inside Kirby) - I-a say, could-a someone get me out of de-a marshmellow?
Popo - (muffled, inside Kirby) - I wouldn't mind escaping his mouth too!
Zelda - (muffled, inside Yoshi) - Ugh. I'm guessing that one of the items that he was supposed to eat was a fur coat. Hey, pretty soft, sexy even!
G&W - (muffled, inside Yoshi) - That's Fox's tail, Zelda.
Fox - (muffled, inside Yoshi) - Aw, thanks for ruining it for me, Flat Zone boy!
Master Hand - Well, since Yoshi ate more of the contestants, he and the Blue Team win!
Pichu - My goodness, this show is still lacking in humor as much as the last chapter was absent of comedy.
Red Team - We vote off Roy, because we don't know whom else to vote off.
Roy - How about someone else? Ever think of that?
Red Team - Oh yeah. But wouldn't that involved voting ourselves off?
Roy - Oh forget it. This joke is very lousy and I'm giving up on it. (Leaves.)
Zelda - Oh dear, doesn't the poor author have any self-esteem in his humor?
Master Hand - I know I don't. In his comedy, anyway.
(Dr. Mario comes running in.)
Dr. Mario - There you are, Master Hand! You locked me in the closet during the break between chapters so you could steal the show! Have at thee!
Master Hand - Oh shi-
(Sounds of an Italian doctor pummeling the hell out of giant, white, magic glove commences.)
Ness - Ooo, now this is funny!
Falco - The author finally is entertaining us!
G&W - Gee, I hope the same can be said about the readers.
DAY 08 - RED TEAM
Mario - Without-a Roy around, dis-a place seems... different...
Kirby - Yeah, not so fiery and swordy and red-haired.
Falco - Just say it, guys! He's a minor character in this story, so he's cannon fodder, like slasher film victims!
Ness - He didn't die though.
Falco - Come on! You got the point of what I'm saying right?
DK - Donkey all confused.
Falco - I feel the urge to hurt someone. Seriously. I'm talking emergency room here.
Link - I like swords.
Bowser - You all suck!
Falco -
Peach - Since when do you roar, Falco? I mean... AAAH!
(Sounds of an irate bird man letting out his rage physically on several beings can be heard.)
Pichu - Ooo, I daresay that this is the author's hint' as to who will be voted off proximate. I mean really, how more apparent can it be after he kicks their gluteus maximus all round about the island?
DAY 08 - BLUE TEAM
G&W - Did you guys just hear that? Sounded like an irate bird man pounding the crap out of a bunch of people?
Fox - Ah, they must have pissed off Falco. I learned the hard way many times not to tick off the bird guy.
Popo - Why's that, does he beat you up?
Fox - No, he goes and dies in another story and makes me feel guilty.
Pikachu - Gee, that must suck.
C. Falcon - I agree. Dying constantly stinks. We would know, we're video game characters!
Zelda - Speaking of dying and getting beaten up, I don't think I apologized for Link's behavior on Day 06, Fox.
Marth - You didn't beat him up!
Zelda - Yeah, but I feel the need to apologize. Elven gals are used to men hurting themselves for us.
Daisy - (grumbling to herself) - Bloody blonds always shoving us brunettes out of the limelight! I'll get revenge for all of us, just wait until the next mud wrestling match!
Luigi - Hey-a, did you-a say something, Daisy?
Daisy - No, nothing.
Yoshi - I just hope when SSBM2 comes out, there are more ladies. Peach, Zelda, Samus and the occasional Daisy just aren't enough for the obsessive pairing out there.
G&W - I'll bring Mrs. Game & Watch!
Popo - Your wife?
G&W - No, just another Flat Zone lady. And boy, is Mrs. Game & Watch flat!
DAY 08 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
Dr. Mario - All-a right, for today's challenge, I want you all to... GOOD HEAVENS! What happened to you, Red Team?
Red Team -
Pichu - I managed to bilk agony. I mentally comprehend when to retain my mouth shut.
Bowser - Why do I doubt that?
Dr. Mario - Well, you're all lucky I'm a doctor! I'll-a tend to your-a wounds when the Immunity Challenge is over. For-a now, I would like another mud wrestling contest!
Guys -
Girls -
Mr. Game & Watch - I'll get the popcorn.
Zelda - Speaking as a lady and one who will be forced into this disgusting show of chauvinism, I would like to say-
Daisy - HAVE AT THEE, BLONDY! (Tackles Zelda into the mud pit.)
Zelda - Ouch! Daisy, what on earth-
Daisy - I didn't even get to be in the game, and instead a bunch of yellow-haired, kidnappable princesses do instead! All I get to be is a trophy and a costume! Do you know how evil that is? EVIL, I SAY!
Pichu - Falco, you should consider yourself fortunate that you are not the only soul making it blatantly obvious that you will be voted off.
Dr. Mario - ... Uh... since Daisy won, that means Zelda lost. So does Blue Team win or lose? Oh, heck, I'll-a flip a coin! Heads, Blue loses.
Falco and Daisy - Oh great. My chances are all hanging on a penny. He's that cheap, he doesn't even use a quarter!
Dr. Mario - Heads! Blue loses, Red wins!
Daisy - Crud! Well, I might as well go-
Blue Team - We vote off Captain Falcon.
Daisy - What?! Guys... thanks, but why?
Popo - Falcon asked us to beforehand; he didn't want to become a stereotypical dumb homosexual' again.
Fox - Plus, Luigi would thrash us, and we've had enough thrashings. Or at least I have.
Marth - Wow, we don't even have to insult this situation; it speaks for it's own stupidity!
C. Falcon - My friends, I salute you for helping me! Good-bye and good luck! (Leaves.)
Fox - Feel okay, Zelda?
Zelda - Yes, I'm fine. I can't blame Daisy for wanting to almost bash my skull in; I'd be ticked if all I was left out.
Sonic - How do you think I feel?!
DAY 09 - BLUE TEAM
G&W - I don't know if I speak for everyone here when I say this...
Marth - Go right ahead.
G&W - ... but I would really prefer it if they handed out chocolate-covered peanuts on airlines rather than honey roasted ones.
Marth - Okay, you don't speak for all of us. HAVE AT THEE, HONEY-HATING BASTARD!
G&W - BRING IT ON, DORK!! (They fight.)
Pikachu - Why is everyone so hostile?
Popo - I HEARD THAT, YOU ELECTRIC RAT! HAVE AT THEE! (They fight.)
Zelda - I think the reality TV show is really starting to get to them.
Luigi - How could it be annoying them? They're-a on it!
Daisy - They can't stand the show they're on? Man, now that is sad.
Yoshi - Fox, I'm telling you! Start courting Zelda now! You wait too long, and she'll be seeing too much of Link! Or someone else!
Fox - Yes, I see your point-
Yoshi - I'll help you get her, man! You'll need it, since she's the girl all the bad guys want!
Fox -
Yoshi - She's watching wrestling, creamin' over tough guys!
Fox - Zelda?! I don't think she does-
Yoshi - Listening to rap metal-
Fox- You listen to Bowling For Soup far too much.
Yoshi - She likes em with a mustache!
Fox - That's Peach.
DAY 09 - RED TEAM
Link - I can hear the Blue Team in violent fights between themselves. They must be suffering from being on the show too much.
Ness - Wow, those ears are really handy, aren't they?
Link - I also hear that foul vulpine boy talking to the dinosaur about stealing my woman! HAVE AT THEE! (Charges in the general direction of the Blue Team.)
Mario - Is it not aware of the thick forest on dis-a island?
DK - Well, Link travels through forests all the time in his games, and he never gets lost.
Pichu - Yes but those were organized forests with direct pathways and a Player's Guide to aid him in his search for an item he already knew where its position was thanks to an online walkthrough.
Kirby - Wow. I never knew Link was that helpless.
Peach - Careful honey, he might still hear you.
Bowser - You all still suck.
Pichu - HAVE AT THEE, DORK!! (They fight.)
DAY 09 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
Dr. Mario - Why must you-a all fight amongst yourselves? Can't you all get along?
Marth - If we didn't fight, what would be the point of watching?
Link - Hey, not every show needs violent conflict!
Yoshi - Your point would be taken better if you were not throttling Fox.
Fox - I -hurk!- agree with -gasp!- Yoshi! Violence -warg!- is never -ack!- the answer!
Popo - What are you talking about? We're video game characters! We need to be violent!
G&W - Hah! Not me! While you all get your heads mashed in and your lives risked for a coin or rupee, I just catch oil, scuba dive and apply manholes!
Mario - Suddenly, my life of stomping turtles and eating mushrooms seems to be a gruesome, painful one.
Daisy - What is the Immunity Challenge, anyway?
Dr. Mario - A fight! A classic battle between a member of each team!
Pikachu - Well, Fox and Link are already fighting, so-
Popo - Quiet you fool, Fox is losing!
Fox - I wouldn't be if he had two million weapons in that tunic of his! Ow! No! Don't use the Fire Rod! My fur is very flammable!
Link - Say goodnight, foul beast!
Fox - Goodnight, foul beast!
Zelda - Link! Stop this at once! If you are just going to pick on Fox, then I challenge you to this fight!
Link - But... but... I can't fight you-
Dr. Mario - Then Zelda wins! Blue Team gains Immunity!
Link - Foul wench! You tricked me! Have at thee! (Lunges at Zelda, realizes what he doing, and falls to the ground in mid-lunge.)
G&W - Why is it that everyone all of a sudden speaks Shakespearian?
Red Team - We vote Falco off, for beating us up that one time!
Falco - Aw, come on! A little pain never hurt anyone!
Red Team - Actually, it does.
Falco - Fine! I never wanted to be on this stinkin' island anyway! No Lylatian women, no booze, no planes, and worst of all, no internet connection! I've been missing all my favorite fanfiction stories!
Krystal - (Enters.) Hi, guys. Am I too late to see the Immunity Challenge?
Daisy - Like all of the Immunity Challenges, it wasn't really worth watching.
G&W - Speak for yourself, I still liked the mud wrestling ones!
Fox - Hey Krystal, it's good to see you but why'd you decide to come here today?
Krystal - Uh... this isn't easy for me to say, but... I love Falco! I just wanted to let him know, I couldn't hold it in any longer!
Kirby - This is too friggin' mushy.
Fox - Well, you two belong to each other. After all, you both have blue skin.
Falco - Thanks, buddy! (He and Krystal leave hand-in-hand.)
Yoshi - Wow, you took that very well, Fox!
Fox - Does someone have a gun? I'm going to shoot myself now.
Marth - Don't you have a gun?
Fox - That's right! Good-bye, cruel fanfiction world!
Yoshi - No! Don't shoot yourself! This is not an Angst/Tragedy story! It's Humor/Parody story! Suicide is not funny! (Wrestles with Fox over gun.)
G&W - End the fugging day already!
DAY 10 - RED TEAM
Mario - I-a wonder if Fox is okay.
Kirby - He's not on our team, so it doesn't matter if he blows his brains out.
Mario - What? Why does him not being on the other team make it not matter?!
Kirby - We wouldn't see it happen, and it won't be scarred for life.
Bowser - Excellent! People scared for life, that's my type of humor!
Peach - Not scared, scarred!
Bowser - What's the difference?
Pichu - Must... withstand... hankering to... ameliorate... in essay form!
Ness - Well, I can't think of anything to say. How about you, DK?
DK - Funny how we can only say one or two lines in an entire day.
Link - I know what I'm going to say! I belong to Zelda! How dare the author drive Zelda and I further and further apart!
Peach - You don't rave like this when they pair you up with me!
Ness - Or with Cassandra or Sophitia from Soul Calibur 2.
Mario - Or Malon or Saria or Nabooru or-
Link - Knock it off!
Bowser - Or Shadow Link or Ganondorf!
Pichu - No, I envision Link would fret about that nature of coupling.
DK - All of us would too.
DAY 10 - BLUE TEAM
Popo - Hey Yoshi, were you able to keep Fox from killing himself?
Yoshi - I hog tied him, threw his gun in the ocean, was able to bring a group of expert psychologists for him, and assured him that there are other fish in the sea!
Pikachu - It sounds like everything is okay-
Yoshi - He's turned into a Gollum' case.
Faux - Nasty green dinosaur! He's stolen our Precious!
Fox - No, Yoshi is good to Fox! He likes us!
Faux - Nobody likes you! You're a liar and a thief!
Fox - I'm not listening to you!
Faux -
Fox - Still not listening to you!
Faux - FRENCH MAN!
Fox - I hates you, I hates you!
Faux - Fool! Where would we be without me?!
Fox - Untied, armed, and actually having a chance with Zelda. Now that you've turned us into psychological issue, we have as much chance as the Cubs do of winning the pennant!
Faux - AUGH! THE FACTS! YOU'RE RIGHT! NOOOO!
Fox - LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!
Pikachu - He's talking to Faux again.
Luigi - Poor guy. He's really taking it hard that Krystal ran off with Falco and Zelda won't date him.
Zelda - Oh I would date him but not if Faux comes along.
Daisy - We could double-date; I'll take Faux.
Marth - Ah, she will take care of him! Oh yes, she will!
G&W - Enough! That joke has been run into the ground so often that the tire tracks have become tattoos!
Faux - Even we can think of better analogies than that, my Precious! And we be mental issues!
ComedyMagmar - Sigh. Even the psycho spoofs I create hate my material. I'll just be getting Fox's gun and...
BANG!!
DAY 10 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
Dr. Mario - I'm sorry we were late but the author shot himself, and had to recover.
Pichu - How does one recoup from a bullet imbedded in the head?
Ness - Video game laws, Pichu, you can survive anything so long as you have extra continues.
Dr. Mario - Our Immunity Challenge today is to create a better pun than the author's!
G&W - You call that a challenge?!
BANG!!
Dr. Mario - HA HA!! That was hilarious, Peach! Red Team wins!
Peach - Thanks, Dr. Mario!
Kirby - But you didn't-
Peach - (Out of the corner of her mouth.) Just smile and nod, Kirby!
Blue Team - We vote off Pikachu, because he wants to go home.
Pikachu - Hugs! Lots of hugs! I love you, guys!
Bowser - Yay! He's finally gone!
Pichu - My almighty savior supra, you cannot even recollect the teammates on your team, even the ones you abhor!
Bowser - Hey, that one doesn't have pink cheeks! He's a mutant Pichu!
Faux - Stupid humor! We hates the author forever!
ComedyMagmar - QUIET, YOU! (Shoots Faux.)
Faux - (Dies.)
Fox - Thank you, ComedyMagmar! If only more authors out there would shoot my evil, insane side!
Link - You think that's bad?! Shadow Link is far worse than any wannabe-Gollum!
Popo - Yeah, well MY evil twin wears a tutu and sings country songs!
G&W - My evil twins look and act exactly like me, they just get in the way of my food juggling and mole pounding!
Marth - NOW I'VE HEARD EVERY GODDAMN JOKE THERE IS!! PIKACHU, TAKE ME WITH YOU!!
DAY 11 - BLUE TEAM
Popo - Didn't this story used to be just a plotless Survivor spoof? I keep getting traces of plot every now and then.
Marth - And mushy business.
Daisy - And making fun of the author.
G&W - (sarcastic) Oh, right on, chaps! Let's keep up this attitude, because God forbid that we would try to make the story worthwhile to read.
Daisy - ... No, that's too easy.
Luigi - Maybe we should just bring back the running gags?
Yoshi - Okay by me, but it may be that the gags start to run, literally.
G&W - (Gags.)
Zelda - Now now, let us not bicker amongst ourselves.
Marth - SHUT THE (#$!)(& UP!
Zelda - NO, YOU SHUT THE (#$!)(& UP!
Fox - I saw that one coming.
G&W - (Gags again.)
DAY 11 - RED TEAM
Pichu - Whom do you living beings presume is going to triumph?
Red Team -
Pichu - What I was really anticipating was if you surmised someone else would prevail.
Red Team - No chance.
Pichu - It is quite breathtaking how every one of you carbon-based life forms is able to speak in flawless unison.
Red Team - Thanks, it's a gift!
DK - I'll bet Diddy is going to win this.
Ness - I'll bet Paula will!
Mario - I-a bet that Wario will win!
Link - I think Saria will win this!
Bowser - Wart! Wart all the way!
Peach - I believe Toad can win this game.
Kirby - Meta Knight rules! Go Meta Knight!
Pichu - None of those video game characters are participating in this contest.
Diddy Kong, Paula, Wario, Saria, Wart, Toad, and Meta Knight - What?! You have no faith in us, Pichu!
Pichu - These cameos are embarking on becoming out of control.
DAY 11 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
Dr. Mario - Pichu, I am shocked that you did not mention me when you talking about possible victors!
Pichu - As host, is it remotely feasible for you to achieve victory in this game/reality show?
Dr. Mario - No but that's beside the point! Anyway, today, you have to mention de worst movie of all-time to win!
Pichu - I humbly suggest - The Hands of Fate as being the most revolting of all movies made by non-talented amateurs!
G&W - Red Zone Cuba! Guaranteed death or coma!
Fox - Squirm! Monster-A-Go-Go! Or Hobgoblins!
Yoshi - The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?!
Peach - I don't like that one movie with that one plot based on that one guy-
Dr. Mario - DEAR-A GOD! Peach, do not continue, or I-a may vomit-a! You win, you win! Red Team wins!
Yoshi - Why did we even bother?
G&W - You fools! You do not truly bad movies until you see the ones on Mystery Science Theater 3000! I puke 2-D vomit just thinking of some of those movie cruds!
Fox - Well, so long as Dr. Mario was thinking of one from the show, and/or Peach was, I guess it's justifiable.
Crow T. Robot - Can I suggest Hellcats? Or Devil Fish?
Tom Servo - The Beginning of the End! Giant Spider Invasion!
Mike Nelson - The Brain That Wouldn't Die! Werewolf!
Joel Robitson - Cave Dwellers! Pod People!
Marth - You guys watch that show far too much.
Crow, Servo, Mike and Joel - We're IN the show!
Marth - That explains everything!
Fox - By that logic, you could say you watch too much Survivor.
Marth - I hate Survivor!
Yoshi - I repeat, Why did we even bother?'
Blue Team - We vote off Marth, because we can't think of anyone else to vote off, and we all flipped coins.
Marth - Yeah whatever, I really didn't need to win; I'm rich enough to buy this island. I'll just be on my way. (Leaves.)
Popo - You think he would buy the island?
Crow - Marth's Island doesn't sound as good as Smash Survivor.
G&W - You like the title?
Crow - Not really, the author just paid me to say something positive.
DAY 12 - BLUE TEAM
Popo - Did you guys notice that we just voted two members off in a row?
Luigi - You-a like to-a ask a lot of questions, don't you?
Popo - Why, does it annoy you?
Daisy - Popo's right, you know! Dr. Mario gives it to Peach, we vote off a member, and pretty soon we all get voted off!
Zelda - Yeah! Wait a minute...
Blue Team -
Fox - Freedom, here we come!
Yoshi - I suddenly like the judging!
G&W - And to think I thought that Dr. Mario was an ice skating judge!
DAY 13 - RED TEAM
Pichu - Do any of you mammals or turtles heed that with Peach on our team, none of us will ever be cast away?
Red Team (except Pichu) -
Pichu - So failing this on-the-air contest is the course of your goal?
Ness - I want off of this flippin' island! I have sand in every part of my body, including my pancreas!
DK - We've been eating cooked fish with a side of grass for the past eight days!
Mario - I-a have sea water stains on my-a best pair of stomping boots!
Bowser - I have to put up with you guys!
Peach - We have to put up with Bowser!
Kirby - I'm bored!
Pichu - Has the fact that we score $1,000,000 as the main prize slipped the concept of your sandy, ocean-soggy minds?
Peach - Wait... there's a prize?
Kirby - And it's money?
Bowser - A shit load of money?!
Ness - And with Peach, we have a smaller chance of being voted off?!
Red Team -
Pichu - Money. The ultimate mood changer.
DAY 13 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
Dr. Mario - I'd like you all to-a know that after de next Immunity, we will squeeze de last thirteen contestants into one big team!
G&W - Ah darn. That means only two lucky members of our team will be assured off this stupid island!
Ness - Have you forgot that we win a million dollars as the grand prize?!
G&W - Dollar bills are considered too fat for Flat Zone currency.
Luigi - I got all de money I need in-a my last game!
Fox - I'm not being paid enough to earn that kind of money.
Popo - Gumball machines do not take dollar bills.
Daisy and Zelda - We're princesses. We have enough money to buy this island!
Yoshi - ... Wait, could one million dollars buy this island?
Dr. Mario -
Yoshi - What a rip-off.
Dr. Mario - (clears throat) On the matter at hand, the team that tells the best running joke wins.
G&W - Does it matter? Red Team is going to win, because you always give the win to Peach!
Dr. Mario - Ha ha ha haaaaa! That's a killer, Mr. Game & Watch! Blue Team wins!
Blue Team - EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT!
Red Team - DOUBLE-U TEE EFF?!
Pichu - To declare that any of us creatures or humanoids beheld that one approaching would be a false statement.
Red Team - We vote off Bowser, for he sucks.
Bowser - No, you all suck!
Red Team - SHUT THE ()&$(() UP!!
Bowser - NO, YOU SHUT THE ()&$(() UP!!
Dr. Mario - Wah ha ha haaaa! I love these run-on jokes!
G&W - Can we vote Dr. Mario off? I'm just curious.
DAY 14 - RED TEAM
Kirby - Well, after today, we'll be one big team!
DK - You do realize that if Peach stays on, she will win Immunity every time because of Dr. Mario?
Pichu - My assumption is that power has wavered since yesterday.
Peach - Right, so there's no need to vote me off!
Ness - Why do you want the money? You're a princess! You have more than you need!
Peach - That doesn't mean I want to win. What, should I just give up the contest?
Link - I wouldn't mind that.
Mario - Hey-a, you-a have more than enough money to! Millions of gem stones just-a by trimming lawns!
Link - You collect coins! You're rich too!
Mario - Maybe, but I have a wallet overloaded wid-a coinage. It's-a pretty heavy!
Ness - Sigh. Money is not the answer to everything, guys!
Pichu - No, the answer to life, the universe and everything I believe is
DAY 14 - BLUE TEAM
Popo - So if we have to vote someone off today, who should it be? I wouldn't mind staying...
Luigi - I-a want to go home.
Fox - I have to leave this island before I lose my sanity. Again.
Zelda - The love triangle I'm in is never going to be resolved while on this accursed contest.
Daisy - This place sucks.
Yoshi - Yoshi no happy here.
G&W - I wanna blow this fugging popsicle stand!
Popo - Gee, this makes it hard to decide whom the misery of.
G&W - Life is not worth living anymore once you have lived in reality! ... TV!
DAY 14 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
Dr. Mario - I-a would like to assure you all that there will be reasonable judging in this contest.
Pichu - How can you reassure us of this proposition?
Crazy Hand - I'M JUDGING!! WHA HA DE HAR HA HA HAAA!
Fox - Oh great. My sanity is lost again; I'm seeing giant, psychotic gloves!
Crazy Hand - YOU WILL ALL DO THE CHICKEN DANCE UNTIL EVERY MEMBER FROM A TEAM COLLAPSES IN EXHAUSTION!! WHA HA BLA DE SHA BLOO BLA HAR HAAAAA!
G&W - Just when you think it was safe to go back to Immunity Challenges...
(They begin the Immunity Challenge of deadly Chicken Dance. Everyone lasts a very long time, but no one can last longer than Mr. Game & Watch.)
Crazy Hand - BLUE TEAM WINS! WAR HA FLA DA BLAH BLAH BLAH HAAAA!
Pichu - My clever acquaintance, how were capable of enduring the Chicken Dance that long?
G&W - It helps to have less frames-per-second, dude.
Red Team - We vote off Donkey Kong, because he really doesn't want the money.
DK - You can't eat it, you can't sleep on it, and you can't play the drums on it! No point! Well, I'm off, see you! (Leaves.)
Dr. Mario - Well, now that I have locked Crazy Hand in a room with padded walls, I officially join all remaining contestants onto the same team!
(And so, those lucky' contestants are Pichu Kerzapper, Link Masters, Princess Peach Toadstool, Mario Mario, Kirby Stars, Ness Rockin, Luigi Mario, Popo Snowball, Fox McCloud, Princess Zelda Gaiden, Princess Daisy Margarita, Yoshi the Dinosaur, and Mr. Game & Watch.)
Link - I'll be watching you, Fox.
Fox - Why do I have the sudden feeling that I need to make out my last will?
Zelda - I will not have any fighting over me! So Link, you behave yourself.
Peach - Right! ... And no one fight over me too!
Mario - All-a right then. (Puts down Mallet.)
Kirby - Is it even necessary for me to say that I would prefer it if you guys do the same for me?
Ness - Ah love. The strongest force in the world, for love makes men violent.
Luigi - Do not-a feel bad, Daisy. I will never vote for-a you!
Daisy - Thanks, Luigi. However, I do believe that not being blond will leave me at a disadvantage.
Popo - Are we quite done yet?
Yoshi - (humming) This is the chapter that never ends... yes, it goes on and on, my friends...
Mr. Game & Watch - Do your thing, Pichu.
Pichu - Thank you, my 2-D Flat Zone resident. Well, noble readers, you have survived this chapter, but what horrors await you in the incoming chapter? More dissatisfactory running jokes, or just the same putrid ones? If you find the humor to be humorous, please say so in your reviews, for the author, ComedyMagmar, does not have sufficient HP to endure another seppuku. If you did not enjoy the humor and found it humorless, then do not worry; you have the same opinion as us.
BANG!
Pichu -
ComedyMagmar - Don't worry, I missed!
Pichu - That is an alleviation, for if you did not, who would be around to articulate...
TO BE CONTINUED?
