(A/N: Sorry about the minor cliffhanger... Here it is! Lot of changeability, not sure I like it... please, please tell me what you think!
11. Nobody Wins
Kelly stood on the grass, looking up at the small, fragile figure balancing precariously on the parapet, an inch away from falling to her death. When she had heard Taylor's words, all thought of staying in bed had evaporated, alluring as the idea was. It hadn't taken her long to pull on a coat and follow Taylor down onto the lawn, a move which she was now cursing herself for – why in heaven's name hadn't she gone up to the roof to get Celia down? She felt helpless, staring at the tiny outline against the sky, and knowing that she was the reason Celia was up there. Though most of the school had by this time gathered to gawp, she felt completely alone in the crowd.
Now we're too far gone
For me to say
And I never thought that we'd come to this
Baby there's beauty in goodbye
There's just no reason left to try
You push me away
Another black day
A count of the reasons to cry
Look what you missed
Living like this
Nobody wins
Nobody wins
Celia could feel the wind on her face, blowing her hair out behind her like a flag. For the first time since the whole fiasco began she felt calm, and safe, confident in the knowledge that very soon she could leave the stupid mess behind and just not be any longer. She was so sick of it all; the rumours, the whispers, the constant ache inside her like her heart had been ripped out. Well, she was saying goodbye to all that.
Down below she could just make out Kelly in the multitude of people, her black hair standing out like a beacon among the sea of blondes and brunettes. Strangely, she did not feel anything looking down at her ex-girlfriend, the sole reason for her being up there. She only felt empty, free of all ties, no longer caring about anyone or anything except the stillness and the space in front of her.
"Celia?"
The voice jolting her out of her trance was close behind her - so close that she stumbled, one foot falling into the air and knowing that the other would soon follow. But then there were strong hands around her waist, pulling her back.
"I've got you."
There it was again, that voice – slightly harsh, and with a thick accent, but to Celia in her bemused state it sounded like the voice of an angel. Perhaps she had died after all and was now in some kind of nether world. Then she felt herself being pulled up and over the ledge and forced to sit on the ground, safely away from the drop.
Now she could see the "angel". It was Anoushka, standing over her, wearing a curious expression of anger, bemusement and pity. She bent down to sit on Celia's legs – not painfully, she couldn't feel anything, but presumably to stop her from throwing herself over the edge – and looked her in the eye, head on one side, regarding her.
When she spoke her voice was softer, more gentle, more kindly than anyone had ever heard her before.
"She's not worth it. I promise you, she's not worth it."
Through a fog of disappointment and relief Celia heard her words as if underwater, saw her lips moving out of sync. But she understood.
"I know."
Anoushka smiled, leaning forwards to brush Celia's hair back from her face.
"I've watched you. You're clever, you know that? And pretty. Don't throw that away because of red lipstick and a pair of stilettos."
It was probably the longest speech she had ever made. Celia began to smile, for no reason at all, except that she could. She still had a face to smile with. And for that same reason, she stretched over and kissed her rescuer firmly on the lips.
Suddenly it no longer bothered her that she hadn't accomplished what she'd set out to do. The girl was right. She still loved Kelly – it would take time for her to get over that one – but she could see now that it wasn't going to happen. The craziness of it all amazed her, and she began to laugh, breaking the kiss, which had become a little more than a quick peck. She had woken up that morning determined to end it all, and not two hours later she was sitting on the roof having kissed the scariest girl in school. You couldn't make it up. If someone had asked her to explain it, she would have been lost for words. But for now she was content to sit and laugh till she cried at nothing at all.
