"You know, people keep saying that there's a chance that the Naked Bandits would attack us as soon as we enter this forest because we're delivering silk to that lady who's holding a husband-finding contest in Seireitei and all, but do you really think they're going to do that? I mean, of course, these cloths are expensive, but if they want the silk, wouldn't it be better for them to just rob the store?"
The question came from a bald man in a plain kimono while he was driving a carriage that had earlier left a certain kimono store in West Rukongai and now heading through a wood. His question seemed to be directed to a bob-haired man in a flowery pattern kimono who sat next to him and help him drive said carriage.
"Hmm…" the bob-haired man narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "I guess you're right, but didn't the boss say that if they attack us, it wouldn't be for the silk? If they robbed us, it would be because we have a pass to Seireitei. The store doesn't have that, you know?"
The bald man sighed. "I guess I didn't see that one in the memo, but really, if they're going to attack us, why the suspense? They should just do it. It's boring to—"
The rest of the man's sentence was cut off when he had to pull the horses back before they ran over a frail-looking man who suddenly appeared in their path.
"Hey, man, watch where you're heading!" the bald man yelled. "You wanna kill yourself or something?"
Instead of being shaken by the situation, that frail man pulled out his sword, and before the carriage drivers knew it, they had already been surrounded by a group of men.
"Freeze! This is a robbery! Now get off the carriage and take off your clothes."
The bald man lazily got off the carriage, mumbling something that sounded like, "Finally something interesting," under his breath, while the bob-haired man seemed somewhat reluctant to move.
Sensing the bob-haired man's hesitation, one of the robbers pointed his sword at the man.
"Hey, you! What are you waiting for? Do you wanna die?"
"I would rather die than to be naked in front of ugly men."
Before any bandits could say a word, the bald man rolled his eyes and noted irritably, "Just do as they said, idiot. They're the Naked Bandits, so it's their calling card to force people to undress. It's not like anybody here really want to see you naked."
The bob-haired man huffed. "Che. You're just jealous that I'm more beautiful than you are."
"I'm not gonna dignify that with a—"
"Oi! Shut up already, you two!" The thief who seemed to be the leader of the group yelled before he turned to his one of his comrades, "Make sure they undress. I'll go see inside the carriage."
With that, the man approached the carriage then pulled its door open. "Now what have we here?"
The thief blinked as he opened the door to reveal a person sitting inside the carriage. It was difficult for the bandit to identify the gender of said person since the person seemed to be too big to be a woman, yet the kimono that the person wore was not of a man either. Not to mention the person wore a veil that covered his/her face completely.
"Oi…er…lady…" he said reluctantly. The word "lady" seemed to be too awkward to use since he had never seen a woman of that size, yet he couldn't quite find a better word. "If you don't want to get hurt, get off the carriage and take off your clothes."
"But I would be in trouble if I let you take the silk," the person replied in a small girly voice that contradicted her size. "How was I supposed to answer to my customer if I showed up without material she requested for her wedding dress?"
The thief grunted. "Guess what, lady? You'll never ever show up at your customer's place at all in this lifetime if you don't do what I said."
"Oh, no! Are you going to kill me?" that person asked. However, "her" voice was far from being shaken. In fact, it sounded gleeful despite the situation.
The robber felt his eyebrow twitched with annoyance. "We don't normally kill our victims, but if you keep this up, I'm willing to make an exception. Now off!"
"Fine…but don't blame me for whatever happens to you afterward."
"Che, like something's gonna—"
The rest of the sentence didn't come out of the bandit's mouth as he was too stunned by the person's appearance. It was true that he had already though that "she" was too big for a woman, but he didn't expect that she would stand at six and a half feet. Nor did he expect that the girly voice would suddenly transform into a sadistic voice of a mature man once the person said, "Finally I get to take this ridiculous clothes off."
With that, "she" pulled out her veil and dropped it on the ground before pulling out "her" cloak to reveal that "she" was actually a "he."
All bandits were astounded by what was displayed in front of their eyes.
"Spiky hair with bells on the tips…one eye patch…black shihakushō…white worn haori…could it be that you are…"
The woman who had just revealed herself to be a man who happened to have a pink-haired girl clung to his shoulder grinned sadistically before finishing the bandit's sentence, "Jūichibantai-taichō, Zaraki Kenpachi, as your service."
Zaraki then turned to his trusted subordinates who played the roles of carriage drivers and saw that they took the moment that the bandits were too busy being stunned by Zaraki's imposing presence to pull out their zanpakutō.
"Well, this is definitely not your lucky day," the bald man, otherwise known as the third seat of the Eleventh Division, Madarame Ikkaku remarked.
"Definitely not," the bob-haired man who was also known as Ayasegawa Yumichika added. "I can tell they are not going to have beautiful demise."
"Ne, Ken-chan," Yachiru asked, poking at the captain of the Eleventh Division's shoulder so he would turn his attention back to her, "which one do you think is the owner of that rumored zanpakutō?"
"I ain't a clue," Kenpachi replied as he slowly pulled out his katana. "But who cares? We can always just test that out." Turning his sadistic grin to the stunned bandits, he asked, "Now who wants to go first?"
"Renji!"
Renji stopped as soon as his name was called. Then he turned towards a well-endowed woman with strawberry blond hair, who was otherwise known as the second-in-command of the Tenth Division, Matsumoto Rangiku.
"Rangiku-san," Renji greeted the woman with a slight bow of his head.
Seeing that the lieutenant of the Sixth Division had stopped, Matsumoto gave the younger man a hearty smile.
"Running an errand for your captain?" the question was asked because Renji was carrying a pile of books in his arms.
Renji glanced down at the books before he nodded. "Yeah, you can say that."
"Aww…so you won't have enough time to talk to me then," Matsumoto said with a small pout. "And to think there's something I've been dying to ask."
"Will it take long, Rangiku-san? If it's not too long, I can talk to you," said Renji. "I mean, Kuchiki-taichō is having another meeting with Zaraki-taichō and Yoruichi-san. They're probably still arguing over whose method is more effective like every other time they met to discuss the Naked Bandits mission, so Kuchiki-taichō probably forgets that he sent me to get these books from the Record Library."
"Really, you can?" If Matsumoto wanted Renji to believe that she had no intention to delay him at all, the spark in her eyes probably told him another story. "There's something that's bugging me for the last couple of days, you know, since the festival."
"What is it, Rangiku-san?"
"Well, it's something to do with Kuchiki-taichō," the well-endowed lady began. "Do you have any idea if he has replied to Yoruichi-san's invitation yet?"
"Um…I'm not really sure, but as far as I'm concerned, his invitation is still locked in his desk's drawer," said Renji. "Then again, he could have replied when I didn't notice. Why did you ask?"
"Let's just say I spotted him with a purple-haired woman at the festival…so I kinda wondered if it could be Yoruichi-san, and if it was her…does it mean that they're dating, you know that sort of stuff."
Renji furrowed his tattooed-brows. "And why do you think that I'd know something like that."
"Well, first, Kuchiki-taichō is your captain. Second, his sister happens to be your best friend and third, you seem to be close to Yoruichi-san, somehow," Matsumoto replied in a thoughtful tone before she added, "Besides, who else could I ask?"
The red-haired lieutenant of the Sixth Division sighed.
"Even if those were true, it's not like they would tell me if they were actually dating," the man commented. "Though, I don't think they are because if they were, there wouldn't be any point for the Shihōin Family to conduct this 'Swayamvara' thing. Besides, there are many purple-haired women in Seireitei…I think."
The last sentence was said in a hesitant manner since, like Matsumoto, Renji could only think of one woman whose hair was purple. However, as he couldn't think of any reasons for his captain to spend time with Lady Shihōin aside from work, he had to say so even though he began to share Matsumoto's curiosity.
While Renji might not be the brightest man in Soul Society, Matsumoto had to think that he did make a good point.
"Then who can that purple-haired woman be?" the strawberry blonde mumbled to herself.
Renji bit his lower lip.
"Well, if this could help at all, I met Kuchiki-taichō when I went to pick up Rukia on the festival night. We asked him to join us, but he said he would spend the evening with his grandmother," Renji recalled. "So maybe that purple-haired woman you saw was his grandmother?"
"His grandmother?" Matsumoto cried in disbelief. "Isn't she supposed to be old and gray? Didn't I tell you that the woman I saw had purple hair?"
"Yeah, but maybe she dyed it or it is her natural hair color," Rukia's best friend said with a shrug. "I've never really met her in person, so I don't really know. All I knew about her is from Rukia, and she never mentioned the lady's hair color."
Rangiku blinked, rendered speechless by Renji's careless suggestion.
"Sorry, but I really have no idea. I'm afraid you'll have to ask someone else," the man said with an apologetic smile. "Anyway, it took me long enough, so I'd better go or I'll lose my head, literally, so later, Rangiku-san."
With that said, Renji took a bow and left.
"Oi, wait, Ren—" Matsumoto sighed since said man had already disappeared before she could stall him. "Wah…now who am I gonna ask?"
"It's not that I have anything against your method, Zaraki-taichō, since one of the Onmitsukidō's duties is to assassinate people, but could you not kill every thief you encounter during the mission? At this rate, everyone in Rukongai would be dead before we could find a clue about the Naked Bandits' hideout."
Shihōin Yoruichi voice her complaint while she sat in a round table that was set in the middle of what used to be a cherry field but now being remodeled to fit as the new headquarters of the Secret Mobile Corp.
Sitting there with her were the two men who also volunteered to take down the Naked Bandits—Zaraki Kenpachi and Kuchiki Byakuya.
"Well, if everyone is really dead, then we'll no longer need to worry about those thieves, won't we?" the bloodthirsty captain of the Eleventh Division returned with a shrug, pausing for a second since there was a sound of a cherry tree hitting the ground. "Besides, none of them had a zanpakutō that could make me naked, so what's the point in locking them in jail? They'd only waste our food supply."
"I guess you're right but..."
"So you agree with me. What's the point in complaining then?"
Yoruichi felt her head throbbing. She then turned to meet Byakuya's eyes for help which he replied with a slight nod of his head.
"I believe the lady meant to say that you sounded as though you wished to fight those thieves while you were naked."
Yoruichi rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, "You're not really helping."
Ignoring the lady's mumbling, Zaraki returned with a challenged look in his eyes, "At least, I'm not afraid of fighting while being naked, are you?"
Byakuya closed his charcoal eyes before he replied in a nonchalant tone, "I'd prefer to fight in a decent state, but if the situation demanded it otherwise, then I would not complain."
"In other words, you are," Kenpachi said with a smug look on his face.
"Unlike some people here, I happen to prefer keeping my private parts private," Byakuya replied, slightly disturbed by Captain Zaraki's remark.
"Somehow I think I'm being implicated," Yoruichi said with a slight frown. "But seriously, no more talk about fighting in your birthday suits. You two are giving me a very disturbing mental image."
To that remark, Zaraki laughed. "Oh well, I suppose the picture of me or Kuchiki being naked wouldn't be as attractive as—"
"Don't go there, Zaraki," Byakuya warned solemnly.
"Go where? I was just going to say Statue of David," Kenpachi said. "It's you who thinks too much."
Seeing how the two men sent each other a glare, Yoruichi decided it was her time to step in.
"Let's just get back to the point," said the lady.
The tension that was built by the two captains was somehow dissolved by the lady's single sentence, so the Secret Mobile Corps' headquarter was saved from the destruction that was guaranteed should Zaraki and Kuchiki ever really fight.
Yoruichi then bit her lower lip. "Where were we again?"
Kenpachi furrowed his brows and offered, "You were complaining about my method, I think?"
"Oh, yes, that," Yoruichi rolled her eyes, as she realized how afar they could stray out of the topic. "Anyway, I was meaning to ask you to spare at least one of the robbers you run into the next time because you know, so far we only captured copycats. They don't even know who the real leader of the Naked Bandits is."
"Fine. I'll try to spare one of them," Zaraki replied, "but I can't make any promises."
"Thank you," Yoruichi replied sarcastically.
"By the way, since all thieves Shihōin-sōshireikan and I managed to capture so far could only be identified as copycats," Byakuya began, purposely leaving out Zaraki's name, for said captain never actually caught any robbers that were unfortunate enough to try to rob him alive. "I decided to take a different approach on finding more information about them."
"Since it seems you're gonna say it whether I want to listen or not, just say it," Zaraki replied. "I'd still say all we need to do is killing all thieves. After a week or two, the rest will be too scared to come out and rob anyone."
"Violence is not an answer for everything," Byakuya remarked.
"Said the man who would have killed his own sister for committing a crime," Kenpachi supplied.
Yoruichi felt her head throbbing once the captain of the Sixth Division glared at the one from the Eleventh. She wasn't sure if she made the right decision when she volunteered to do the mission with these two men, but she knew no one else would want to play a referee for them, especially now that Byakuya subconsciously raised his reiatsu and Zaraki was grinning with satisfaction, also raising his own.
Already losing her cool, Yoruichi also raised her reiatsu, making both male captains stop fighting to look at her.
"Could we please continue with the real subject?" The lady asked in a sickly sweet tone that somehow both Byakuya and Zaraki knew only spelled trouble.
It was unclear whether the men suddenly lower their reiatsu because they were afraid of the commander-in-chief of the Secret Mobile Corps or merely had to wish to fight with a woman, but Yoruichi didn't mind either way.
Putting his indifferent mask back on, Byakuya continued with what he had mentioned earlier as though he had never been interrupted, "Since rumor has it that the leader of the Naked Bandits possesses a zanpakutō that has an ability to undress people, I decided to search whether there was a record of such a zanpakutō in our database."
"Didn't we already do that once and came up with nothing?" Zaraki asked.
"Yes. However, we only looked at the records of people who graduated from the Academy," Lord Kuchiki stated. "We did not look into the record of those who did not graduate."
"That's because they were three times as many people who failed or quit before they graduated, and most of them didn't have what it takes to summon a zanpakutō, let alone release it," Lady Shihōin said. "Not to mention, those who managed to summon a zanpakutō but failed other tests were locked away in the Maggot's Nest before they could cause any problem."
"While I do not know that place as good as you do, I still believe it is not big enough to lock away all Academy falls out, so we cannot overlook the possibility," Byakuya noted.
Zaraki narrowed his eyes. "I take it you've already looked into it, right, Kuchiki? Coz you know, I sure as hell won't look at all those records for you."
"I do not expect you to, and yes, I have," said the nobleman. "I've found a few people whose profiles are worth looking into, and I have my lieutenant bring the records here as we speak."
Yoruichi and Kenpachi nodded.
"If it were only a few people, I can have my men check all of them," the lady offered. "After all, snooping around is our specialty. Though, how long does it really take for Renji to come here from your division, or wherever he's supposed to take those data from?"
Once Yoruichi mentioned Renji, Byakuya realized his lieutenant had indeed taken a long time to get there.
"He should be here shortly," Captain Kuchiki remarked.
"I'm not interested in either waiting for Abarai or doing research, so I'll bail now," said Zaraki. "Just come and call me up when there's more action."
"Sure. I'll do that," Yoruichi replied.
"Are you certain that you can find your way back to your division?" Byakuya asked blandly.
"Why, Kuchiki, I'm touched. I never thought someone like you would actually care about me," Kenpachi returned in a sarcastic manner.
"I merely asked out of common courtesy, but obviously, you don't know what that is."
"Well, no one has ever complained about that."
"Must you two fight about every little thing the other say?" Yoruichi asked, feeling a vein popping on her forehead once again since it seemed those two men would start yet another fight. It wasn't the first time she wondered why Byakuya actually volunteered to do this mission at all when he had known who he would have to work with.
The look in Byakuya's normally cold eyes seemed to say yes, while Kenpachi shrugged nonchalantly as a response.
Yoruichi sighed. "At least, you two agree on this one thing. Anyway, didn't you say you want to leave, Zaraki-taichō?"
"Yes," Kenpachi replied. "Later, then, Shihōin, Kuchiki."
The commander-in-chief of the Secret Mobile Corps nodded tiredly as Zaraki waved her and the captain of the Sixth Division goodbye. Rubbing the bridge of her nose, she then looked at her raven-haired companion, "Are you sure Renji knows we're having a meeting here?"
Ever since he volunteered to work with Zaraki and Yoruichi to capture the Naked Bandits, Byakuya was busy trying to find as many leads to said criminals that he hardly returned to the Kuchiki mansion. Therefore, after having interrogated the crooks his underlings had captured just to find out that they were mere copycats, Byakuya decided to call it a day and return home.
As it was Saturday, Byakuya was under an impression that Rukia would still be out to train shunpo with Yoruichi. So he was a tad surprised when he returned home with a bag of koi (which he had just found time to buy to replace the ones that mysteriously disappeared a while back) to see Rukia sitting listlessly by the pond.
"Don't you have a shunpo lesson today?"
Even though Byakuya only asked in his usual tone, his question still managed to make his adopted sister jumped, and had he not been quick enough to catch the girl by her elbow, she would have fallen into the pond.
"Nii-sama!" Seeing that Rukia had already found her own footing, Byakuya let go of her. "Thank you for catching me and welcome home."
With that, Rukia bowed at her brother, somewhat troubled by the fact that her brother had caught her in yet another embarrassing moment.
Byakuya, however, didn't seem to mind when he acknowledged his sister's greeting with a slight nod of his head and repeated the question that he had asked earlier but didn't quite get the answer.
"Don't you have to a shunpo lesson today?"
"No. Yoruichi-dono sent words that she would be out on a mission. Aren't you on that mission as well?"
Understanding his sister's meaning, Byakuya replied, "We only work together to take down the Naked Bandits, and that is certainly not the only work she has."
"Oh, so does this mean that you are going to stay home tonight, nii-sama?"
"Yes."
Although she told herself that she was already used to the short and direct way her adoptive brother spoke, sometimes Rukia couldn't help wondering if it would kill the man if he ever spoke a little more.
"Well, then, should I go tell Takeshi-san that you'll be home tonight?" Rukia asked, knowing that the chamberlain needed to be informed whenever Lord Kuchiki would stay at the mansion.
"I've already met him on my way in, so don't worry," Byakuya noted. "You can just sit here, and while you are at it, release these koi for me."
Although it was just a small simple task, Rukia was still glad she could be of any use to her brother, so she eagerly accepted the fish from Byakuya. "Certainly, nii-sama. Will I see you at dinner?"
To answer the question, Byakuya nodded. "I'll be in my room if you need me before then."
And his room was where Byakuya was until the new day arrived. It appeared Lord Kuchiki rose even earlier than the sun, since he was already sitting in front of a cabinet in his shinigami uniform, brushing his hair so he could put on the famous kenseikan, before dawn broke.
While Sunday was normally his day off, he couldn't feel at ease when there were still some criminals running loose somewhere in Soul Society and it was his duty to catch them.
Sensing something strange in the atmosphere, Byakuya's hand paused slightly. Then he gingerly set his hairbrush down on the cabinet, yet he didn't bother to reach for his trusted Senbonzakura. Instead, he merely sat there as though he hadn't sensed anything out of the ordinary.
It took give or take five seconds from the time he had that feeling to the time when his bedroom door was slid open in a way that Byakuya was certain that it wasn't any of his servants' doing.
"Oh, so you're already awake."
Byakuya didn't show any sign of surprise when he heard the voice that he recognized as Shihōin Yoruichi's. In fact, he picked up his brush and continued doing his hair almost as if he didn't notice her presence.
"And if I were not, would you consider throwing some freezing water at me?" he asked blandly without bothering to cast her eyes on his uninvited visitor.
"Well, it's not exactly winter right now."
The answer made Byakuya turned slightly to look at the woman who was standing at his bedroom's door, and he mentally shook his head once he spotted a pail in Yoruichi's hand, which he didn't have to look inside to tell that the thing was filled with water from his koi pond.
"I suppose I should feel relieved that I am already awake then," he noted.
"With your guard this low, I could still have thrown this bucket of water at you, you know."
"Low? If I hadn't known beforehand that it was you, you would have at least been shot with Byakurai for entering my quarters without permission."
Yoruichi tilted her head as she looked at the owner of the room. "Oh? So you really think you're fast enough to do that?"
If it had been a century earlier, Byakuya would have at least been irritated by the challenge tone of Yoruichi's voice. However, now, he only turned back towards the mirror.
"We could always try and see who's faster now," Byakuya remarked while he parted his hair to slip into the well-known hair clip, "but I don't believe you are here just to challenge me to another race."
"Don't give me that much credit," Yoruichi replied. "I might just be here on a whim to challenge you out for another shunpo race."
"If you really want me to race you, then I will, but it will not be today, Yoruichi," Byakuya returned. "Now state your real business."
Since Yoruichi couldn't see Byakuya's expression (not that she believed he would actually show any emotion but indifference,) she decided not to ponder too much into what the captain of the Sixth Division had just spoken.
"You are no fun, Byakuya," Yoruichi said, rolling her eyes. "But you're right this time. I came here because I believe I've found out where the Naked Bandits' hideout really is, so I'm here to tell you so we can be there before they realized we are on to them. So will it take longer than a minute for you to finish your hairdo?"
"Why, Yoruichi, are you offering to do it for me if that's the case?"
"As if you're really gonna let me do that," Lady Shihōin returned noncommittally. "Do you really have to wear that ridiculous hair clip anyway?"
Lord Kuchiki closed his eyes and sighed before he set the kenseikan on the top of his cabinet, believing that he wouldn't be able to place it right with Yoruichi pestering him. Pulling out a hair tie from a drawer, he quickly tied his hair in a ponytail. Then the captain of the Sixth Division got up and reached for his zanpakutō.
"Shall we go now?" Byakuya asked once he finally turned to Yoruichi only to see that she was giving him a dubious look. "I doubt Zaraki would already be awake at this time of the day."
Shaking whatever it was that was on her mind earlier when she saw Byakuya wearing a ponytail again after such a long time, Yoruichi nodded and replied, "Well, maybe this bucket will have some use after all."
Speculation and Exasperation/End
A/N: I apologize for the long wait. For anyone who's worried that I would leave Swayamvara half done, I have already planned the whole story, so rest assure that it will be completed. It's just a matter of when that'll happen (though I think I won't be able to finish it by New Year like I planned.)
Many thanks for all comments and encouragement, by the way. Now I'll be off to write the next chapter. I hope you still find enjoyment in the story. If not, criticisms and flames are welcome as always.
