It's been a while since I've updated, but here's the new chapter.
Disclaimer:I do not own Morganville Vampires. Rachel Caine does.
Chapter 11
Claire's POV
I ran up to my room slamming the door when I got inside. I vaulted into my bed and started crying my head off.
Why did they have to remind me? Huh? I was doing perfectly fine imagining that they were at home, going to work, and having normal days, perfectly safe. But, nooo. They have to tell Shane to tell me. Shane. I can tell that he likes me. I'm not blind. The way his eyes light up when I look at him. And those looks he sent me when he thought that I wasn't looking. Then he says that I'm too young for him. Low blow. If I was 18 and he was 21 he probably wouldn't care.
Or maybe he thinks I have too much baggage. I have to say that he would be right then. I have soooo much baggage that I need two bellhops to help me carry it around. But of course I was over thinking this.
There were footsteps coming towards my room. They definitely weren't Eve's because she was wearing her bulky shoes. So it had to be either Michael or Shane. I was hoping the former but then I would have been wrong. Apparently Eve and Michael didn't get that I didn't want a guy in my life right now. Relationships never ended well for me, and considering the guy that Shane seemed to be, it wouldn't end any differently.
He knocked on my door and I told him to go away. But he just answered with, "It's me, Shane. Can I come in?" Knowing eventually that he get into my room, and I'd rather not have someone break in, I reluctantly opened the door to see Shane standing there. I inwardly sighed, I had been right.
"What do you want?" I was really annoyed with him and didn't want to talk to anyone, not even Eve.
"I just want to talk. Is that OK?" I guess it would be okay so I opened the door more and nodded my head into my room. He awkwardly walked over to the bed and sat down and looked up at me.
"So talk." I was kind of nervous of what he was going to say.
"Could you come over here, please." Now I was scared. It was going to be something heartfelt and deep, but I went anyway. "I know it's hard to lose people you love. And I know it's hard, but you have to be around people or else it'll consume you. And I have something I really need to talk to you about." I knew it was going to be heartfelt and I was wondering how he knew what I was feeling but I was going to wait to talk about it.
"I just need to think about things. What did you need to tell me?"
"Yesterday, when I told you that I couldn't be with you. I hated saying that. And every time I think about you, I practically go insane, in the good way."
That confirmed that I knew that I was thinking to much about what he had said. And before I knew that I was doing it, I started to lean towards him and he to me. Then he kissed me. I didn't know what happened at first but then I started to kiss him back. He slid a hand behind my neck pulling me closer and I was running my hands up his chest, loving the feel of his muscles under my hands and I rested my hands on his shoulders. There were sparks flying between us, and let me tell you, it felt good. My lungs started to burn, begging for air. So we pulled apart.
After a couple seconds, I leaned forwards and kissed him all over again. It felt even better than the first time. But my neck was stretched at that angle so I climbed into his lap. I thought about straddling him, but I thought better of it. I tried to deepen the kiss even more and it was working until he pulled away. I was about to ask him why he pulled away when I heard Michael say something.
"So I see how you're helping her now." I was so shocked. And so was Shane. But all I could think was, 'Hadn't I closed the door?' Apparently not. Shane pushed on my hips and could think again and I noticed how good it felt and I wanted him to keep doing it but then I realized I was in his lap with Eve and Michael in the doorway, and I basically rocketed off of him.
"Shane. Can I talk to Claire for a moment?" Eve asked. I didn't want him to leave but he had to. He walked downstairs and Michael followed him. Eve walked in and closed the door behind her. And I chanted in my head, 'Why didn't I close the door? Why didn't I close the door?' Eve sat down next to me and looked at me. Just looked at me. I was creepy with all her goth makeup.
"Say something, please." Her eyes softened when I said this.
"Be careful. I don't want you to get hurt. You don't know Shane like I do. And he's a major player." I actually laughed. And she just stared at me like I was crazy, and maybe I was, a little bit.
"Shane's a player? Do you not remember who I used to be? I was the player." She nodded her head.
"Yeah, you were. You're different now. I don't think you could handle another heartbreak. It could break you." A silent tear rolled down my cheek as I made a decision.
Shane's POV
With another look at Claire, I left her room and went downstairs to get yelled at by Michael. I sat down on the couch and Michael stood, glaring, in front of me. This went on for a couple minutes until he started to pace. He suddenly stopped and turned.
"What were you thinking? She's 16! And you know that you're going to hurt her. You're going to spend some time, act like you care. Then hit her up and drop her like a little rag doll."
"Yeah? And why do you think that I would do again? Would you do that with Eve?" Michael's face faltered for a split second then picked back up again.
"What are you talking about?"
"You and Eve!" I yelled. "I just want to be able to look at someone like you look at her. And have her look back at me." My voice got softer towards the end. Michael sank down next to me, but I barely noticed. I put my head in my hands and thought about how much I screwed this one up.
I heard Claire laughing. Maybe I wasn't so messed up.
"Dude," Michael said. "You can't hurt her. She can't take anymore."
"I know." At that moment, I made up my mind.
Later That Night
I hadn't seen Claire since I had kissed her. She hadn't come out of her room since then. And Eve and Michael had gone to their rooms, separately, and I thought it would be a good time to talk to Claire. So I was here, standing outside her door trying to knock on her door. But as soon as I did, I regretted it.
She opened it and her eyes were red and she only opened her door enough to show her face.
"Claire…" I trailed off as she looked down.
"I'm sorry. I just can't get hurt again. And I know I will if I'm with you. So, can we not do this." And she closed the door. I was left standing there, shocked. I promised myself that I wouldn't hurt her again, that she would be different from all the others. But now that wasn't possible.
I didn't want to stand there anymore so I went back to my room. But I couldn't fall asleep. I just laid there thinking and thinking. About the days to come and how awkward they're going to be. And in the middle of all my thinking I fell asleep.
Claire's POV
After I knew Shane was in his room I broke down crying. I think that this pain would be almost as bad as getting hurt by him in the end. I just hoped that it wouldn't be awkward between us tomorrow.
When I woke up the next morning I had a major headache and was rocking a wicked bedhead. I stumbled out of bed and looked down at myself, I was still in what I wore yesterday. I dragged on a fresh pair of jeans and t-shirt. Then tried pulling a brush through the mop on top of my head. Unfortunately, I only got halfway done when my headache became unbearable.
I had to find ice or something to make my head numb. I would try Aspirin, but I always get worse when I take it, so I'm stuck with ice.
When I got downstairs, I Shane sitting in the couch playing video games. Something strange with zombies and what not. I tried to act casual and hoped that he would get the picture and play along because, apparently, Eve hadn't gone to work yet. But she knew what I was going to do anyway, so I guess she was just here for the stiff, gawky conversation that was to come. When I got to the bottom step, Shane looked at me and he looked awful. He had bags under his eyes and his whole face looked tired.
I walked past him, into the kitchen, and straight to the freezer.
