It's late, I'm tired, new chapter, etc.
On with the fic!
Orgy XIII
Saix led Xemnas through the hall, looking desperately for an empty room. He was horny as hell and needed to shag his boss NOW.
That's all the plot exposition I'm willing to give. I'm not going to explain how those two got together, how their relationship's progressed, or basically anything else that's happened between them. None of that. We're going right to the sex. That's what you want, that's what I want, and we're not going to say otherwise. If we did, we'd seem incredibly petty and immature.
And petty and immature is no way for a fangirl to act.
Anyway, back to our couple. Saix pushed open a door, his eyes falling on Zexion and Lexaeus in a heated embrace.
Saix swore. "Damn, this one's taken."
Lexaeus peered out from under Zexion. "Lexaeus sees Saix. Why Saix be here? Saix interrupt our hot man love."
"Hush, dearest," Dorky McEmo- sorry, Zexion soothed. "He's just about to leave. They're only looking for an empty room."
"Duh, okay," Lexaeus replied monotonously, resuming his task of taking Zexion from behind.
Saix and Xemnas continued down the hallway, still searching for their perfect sex room. Nearly every room in the hall was filled with Organization members sexing, to Saix's increasing rage. He was ready to go into Berserk form from pure sexual frustration.
Saix kicked open another room, practically foaming at the mouth.
Marluxia was there, lounging lazily upon a waterbed. "Hello there," he purred, adjusting the pink feather boa around his shoulders. "Have you come to join me?"
Xemnas moved past Saix, looking around the room. "Who's with you?"
"Nobody," Marluxia replied, twirling one end of the feather boa. "I'm open to anyone who crosses my path tonight, honey. I'd even be okay with a threesome, if you're interested."
Saix considered it for a second, then vehemently shook his head. "Maybe another time. I want to take the Superior's virginity myself."
"Oooh, first-timers, are we?" Marluxia squealed. "Don't let me interrupt! Go and pop that cherry, boys!"
Seeing his cue to leave, Saix gently ushered Xemnas out of the room and back into the hall.
" 'Pop that cherry'?" Xemnas muttered under his breath.
Saix rolled his eyes.
"If you're up for more after you're done with each other, don't be afraid to come back!" Marluxia called after them. "I'm available to anyone with a hard on and a thing for pink!"
"You know," Xemnas said conversationally, following Saix further down the hall, "I haven't seen Larxene around here. I wonder where she is."
"Who?" Saix grunted, his brain too addled with lust to maintain coherency.
"You know, the female," Xemnas enunciated. "The one member none of us will ever screw."
"Oh, her? She wasn't included in this story because she isn't a male bishounen," Saix replied. "She couldn't add anything to the sex, so she was removed. Because as everyone knows, females can't be memorable characters in fanfiction unless they're into yaoi."
The pair stopped in front of another door. Saix mentally crossed his fingers as he opened it and looked inside.
It was a large bedroom colored entirely in white and black, with the bed sheets a pale grey. The closet contained many sex items, such as collars, chains, and whips. A large skylight was in the ceiling, allowing the unfinished Kingdom Hearts to shine its light down onto the bed. It was, in short, the perfect room for Xemnas/Saix sex.
What luck that they came across this room, huh? I mean, out of ALL the rooms in the castle, they just happened to find this room as being empty first! What are the odds?
They quickly disrobed, pressing their tough, nubile bodies against each other.
"Howl for me, my lean, supple wolf," Xemnas whispered.
"Huh?" Saix asked confusedly, scratching his head.
"Never mind," Xemnas said embarrassedly. "Being an introverted scientist for almost my entire life, I'm really bad at dirty talk."
"I understand," Saix said consolingly. "All I ever do is grunt and howl. Not very sophisticated."
Then, they made love like otters in heat.
It might have been a trick of the light, but Kingdom Hearts seemed to glow more brightly when the two climaxed. Most definitely a coincidence. It's not symbolic or anything.
The End
MORAL: Twelve bishounen in the same castle? Slash is inevitable!
"Oh, God…so many bad trends…all at once…"
"Just get on with it already!"
"Why are there so many pairings within the Organization? Other than wish fulfillment, I can't see any support for these pairings. Xigbar/Xaldin, Zexion/Demyx, Marluxia/Vexen… some of these characters have never been seen together onscreen, let alone have scenes with romantic overtones! And fangirls still support and defend these pairings?! Have they no shame?"
"Well, I think certain members would have chemistry together, and I don't think pairing them together is so far-fetched."
"How? What is it about the Organization that screams 'we're all gay'? I don't think I saw anything in KH2 and CoM that established an Organization member's sexuality. Your pairings have next to no foundation whatsoever. The only inter-Organization pairing I can see supported in game is a one-sided Larxene/Axel. In their scenes together in CoM, Larxene acts very flirty around Axel."
"That's just your opinion! You don't have proof!"
"Well, of course it's my opinion! Do I need to label everything I say as 'That's My Opinion'? What makes your opinion so much better than mine? Besides, my opinions are backed up by rational observation and interpretation. I can't say the same for you."
"Some Organization members are obviously gay! Look at Marluxia! How could he possibly be straight?"
"Oh, you just touched a BIG nerve. I like Marluxia. He's an evil genius who's smart without being snobby, and is almost elegant in his movements. But almost every single yaoi fangirl takes one look at him and immediately assumes he's a flaming fruit. It really grinds me how many times I've seen him written as such a poor stereotype. A perfectly good character, defaced by yaoi-obsessed fans."
"So he's not supposed to be gay?"
"NO! Besides his pink hair and the whole flower fixation, Marluxia acts like any straight character in Kingdom Hearts. I know he was originally designed as a woman, but come on. He's a complete badass in-game! Seeing the "completely gay" stereotype being the most common characterization of Marluxia saddens me. Have any of these writers even taken a look at the cutscenes in Re:CoM? That's Marluxia's real character right there."
"Well, no. I never saw them."
"Just as I thought. Didn't do the research. You know, people read fanfiction to see characters in stories where they're acting like themselves, not the way the author thinks they act. If you don't want to pay attention to characterization, is there any real point? Fanfiction isn't canon if the characters don't act like they do in-game. The same principle applies to Lexaeus acting like a complete moron in many fics. His habit of being quiet most of the time doesn't mean he's stupid. Maybe he only talks when he feels he needs to, ever think of that? I'm amazed at how often fangirls jump to conclusions and don't look back, dragging the characters down with them."
"I don't jump to conclusions! I make perfectly rational assumptions."
"Like your assumption that all gay men want to do is have sex all the time?"
"…I don't think like that."
"Oh yes you do. Sex makes up a large fraction of yaoi stories. Other than the sex, the characters might as well not be in a relationship at all. Many writers don't even bother to show them doing anything else at all. It's for these reasons that have made me almost completely lose my respect for yaoi."
"Fine, fine, let's move on."
"Is anything left?"
"I don't know, let me check."
Have I missed anything? I need to know or else I'll be forced to end this fic.
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