February 2015
Scully slept in on her birthday. If sleeping in until nine o'clock could be considered as such. She had no plans with anyone but herself, so there was no need to rush. She took her time taking a bath, fixing her hair, and dressing for the day.
She left her apartment, stopping at the coffee shop close by, grabbing a yogurt with granola and a coffee. She sat at a table outside, watching people walk by on their way to work, and little kids being toted around by their parents. It was a semi warm day and the sun felt wonderful as it shone down on her.
She sat until her coffee was gone, before rising and tossing her trash, continuing on her way. Her mother had asked if she wanted to do anything and she had politely turned her down. She did not feel like celebrating, not this year. Taking the day for herself, alone, and doing whatever she wanted, sounded great.
Her new place was close to many places in the city. Restaurants, boutiques, upscale hair and nail salons, pottery painting places, coffee, cupcake, and macaroon shops. She had yet to get out and explore, what with moving in and working more at the hospital, so today was her chance.
She went into the first boutique and browsed around for a bit. The clothes were cute, but not exactly her style. The salesgirl was very fashionable and her makeup was flawless. Scully felt frumpy next to her, although she had recently purchased her outfit. Even if it was the exact same as the salesgirls, she would still not look as hip as her. Scully smiled at her as she walked out of the store, feeling dreadfully out of place.
Two more stores and she found an incredibly soft navy cashmere sweater that she absolutely loved. She was tempted to wear it out of the store, but she had it wrapped instead. She also bought a dark green dress that she felt looked amazing on her. She purchased a pair of black heels that she knew were too expensive, but it was her goddamn birthday. They were beautiful and she loved the way she felt when she wore them.
She walked past the hair and nail salon, but then doubled back. She looked at her reflection in the window and made a decision. She entered the salon and asked if they would be able to see her. Fifteen minutes later she was in a chair, a glass of champagne in hand. The hairdresser came over and Scully told her what she would like done.
Two hours later, she was back outside, a manicure and pedicure done, and her hair six inches shorter. She felt lighter than she had in awhile. She loved her hair long, but felt she needed a change. Running her fingers through it, she smiled, the change feeling good.
A few more places, and she added a couple of more bags to her collection. Entering the last little shop, she left her bags at the register while she looked around. She picked up a few items to try on and headed to the changing room.
A man sat waiting for his wife or girlfriend, bags at his feet, his posture and demeanor tired. He glanced up at Scully and gave her a tired smile, before looking back at the changing room doors. She stopped in her tracks. His eyes were the same hazel as Mulder's.
She made it inside the changing room, closing the door securely behind her, before covering her mouth and sliding down the wall, her items still in her hands. She cried, leaving her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound of her sobs. She could not keep her hand there for long though, needing to take in great gulps of air. She let the tears fall, as she instead held the clothes to her face, keeping her sounds as muffled as she could.
God, she missed him so much. Missed his smile and his eyes as they landed on her. She missed the feel of his arms around her at night, his voice in her ear telling her a joke, and then the rumble of his laughter as he laughed hardest at his own corny joke. She missed kissing him and the feel of his hands on her body.
She turned and lay on her side on the floor, not caring how dirty it was or worrying about her hair. She pulled the clothes closer to her and took deep breaths, her tears still falling, but her sobs subsiding somewhat. She could smell the scent of new clothes, and wished it was Mulder's scent instead.
Minutes passed and she finally felt able to get up off the floor. She hung up the clothes and sat on the stool in the room, putting her face in her hands and collecting herself, taking calming breaths. Looking up at the clothes she had a death grip on, she knew she would not be able to try on nor buy any of those items. They would only make her think of this moment, and the utter sadness she felt laying on this floor.
She stood up, looked at her reflection in the mirror, and attempted to fix her makeup. She shook her head, knowing she would not be able to fix her puffy red eyes. Smoothing down her hair, she gathered up the hangers of clothes, and stepped outside the door, hanging the unwanted clothes on the rack provided. She walked up to the register and took back all of her shopping bags, leaving the store with her head down.
It was dark when she was back outside. She stopped for a second and thought about what she wanted to do. She said she wanted to be alone, but all of sudden she wanted nothing more than to have dinner with her mom. She shook her head, knowing her mom would be there if she asked, but knew she would be poor company when her mom arrived. Her mom had witnessed her tears enough, she did not need to see them again.
Scully stepped forward, deciding to stop and get a cupcake to take home for her own private celebration. The cupcake shop was not far nor too full when she arrived. She looked at the menu, and decided on a triple chocolate cupcake, and also a strawberry one with cream cheese frosting. They were packed up and she left the shop, walking back to her apartment.
Opening her front door, she set her bags down inside, shutting and locking the door behind her. She took the cupcake container into the kitchen and put it on the counter. She walked back to the entryway and gathered up her bags, taking them into her room.
She changed into her pajamas, one of Mulder's shirts she took possession of years ago- a maroon shirt with gray sleeves and shoulders. It was soft and comfortable and it made her think of his smile when he saw her wearing it. He had a hard time keeping his hands from sliding under the shirt when he was close to her because he knew when she wore it, he was going to get lucky.
She shuffled into the kitchen in a pair of her old cozy slippers, getting out a plate, a glass, and a fork. Opening the refrigerator, she took out the milk and poured it in the glass, putting it back before she sat down on a barstool at the counter. She opened the cupcake container and took out the chocolate one, putting it on her plate. She stared at it before standing up and looking through the drawers in the kitchen. She knew she did not have any birthday candles, but there were matches in one of the drawers.
Finding a book of matches, she stuck one in the frosting of the cupcake, making sure it stood up properly. Using a different match she lit it and then the one on the cupcake. She watched it burn for a second before she blew it out, no wish sent out this year. She sighed as her thoughts drifted to two years ago, the last time there had been a candle burning in a birthday dessert.
"Sorry, there is no reservation for a Fox Mulder," the hostess said, checking one more time at the list of names on her sheet. She looked up at them and shook her head.
Scully felt the breath she was holding leave her body, defeat evident as she looked at Mulder. He looked so upset, his body sagged as he looked at her. His eyes begged her to understand and forgive him. She smiled slightly, putting her hand on his arm. He put his hand on her back and led her out the door.
"I'm sorry, Scully," he said, his hands in his pockets, as he shook his head. "It's your birthday and I fucked it up."
"Mulder, it's just dinner. We can figure something else out," she said, knowing what a big deal it was that they were even standing at the restaurant at all. She honestly thought they would not make it here until they actually did.
He had told her he had plans for her birthday, but recently he had missed plans and broken promises. The drive to the restaurant had seemed like the old them, joking and laughing, his hand in hers. He was so excited for these dinner plans, she knew how heartbroken he was that he had messed it up.
He sighed and she saw his breath on the night air. It was cold out and she shivered as they stood there. He glanced at her and he sighed again.
"It's not okay, Scully. Look at you, you're all dressed up, and you were expecting something nice and fancy for your birthday," he said, waving a hand at her outfit.
She had gotten dressed up, hoping and expecting a nice place for dinner. She had pulled an old dress out of the closet that she had always liked and she knew Mulder did as well. He touched her more when she wore that dress, and she was trying to signal to him that she wanted that tonight.
She touched his arm again, sliding her hand down to his pants pocket, grabbing a hold of his and stepping close to him.
"We'll think of something, Mulder," she said, her fingers grazing his in his pocket. She saw his eyes widen and watched him swallow. She smiled slowly and he shook his head at her.
"You're a tease," he said in a voice she had not heard in awhile. The Mulder Sex Voice that she always saw in capital letters. It made her shiver and wet all at the same time.
"Only a tease if I don't follow through," she said quietly, in the voice she knew got to him. He exhaled and she felt his breath on her face. She smiled and stepped back, taking her hands off him.
"I'm hungry, Mulder," she said and he raised his eyebrows. She laughed and stepped back further. "Food, Mulder. I need some food."
He sighed and shook his head before he reached for her hand. He locked his fingers with hers and they walked down the street. She grabbed onto his arm as she squeezed his hand. God, it felt so good to be out, happy and laughing. No matter that it was cold out, being here with him, she felt like she could breathe again. Away from that goddamn office where he would disappear from her. This was so much better.
They walked a couple of blocks and he stopped in front of an all night diner. He looked at her and gestured with his head, raising his eyebrows. She nodded and smiled. He stepped inside and she followed.
The waitress told them to sit wherever they wanted and she would be right with them. He took Scully's coat, hanging it on the coat rack, before taking off and hanging up his own. He led her to the table, his hand on her lower back, his fingers walking in place as he did. She shivered, her body responding again.
"I had no idea it was that dress, Scully," he said, his eyes intense as they sat down and took their menus from the holder on the table. She smiled as she looked at her menu, knowing he was still watching her. She glanced up and he winked at her.
The waitress came up and Mulder announced they were celebrating Scully's birthday. The waitress smiled at Scully and said congratulations before she took their order. They both asked for cheeseburgers and fries. Mulder said he would also like a chocolate milkshake with two straws. The waitress smiled and nodded, walking away to place their order.
They smiled at each other and she reached for his hand. He laid his across the table and she took his hand in hers. They begin to talk about random things. Stories from the past, people they had met and places they had been. He did an imitation of Bill's disapproving stare and they both laughed.
Their burgers arrived and she went through about twenty napkins as she wiped her hands and mouth repeatedly. He ate his food with gusto, not caring how messy his face and hands were. She felt happy and light, something she had not felt in a while.
The waitress brought the milkshake and set it between them, a lit candle in the top of the whipped cream. No one sang, and Scully was glad of that, but as the candle sat in front of her, she closed her eyes and made a wish as she blew it out. A wish, a prayer, call it whatever, but she sent out a call to whoever was listening. A prayer for them, to be whole and together once again, the way they were before the darkness started creeping back in.
She met his eyes and he smiled sadly at her, as if he knew what she had been thinking. He had mustard on the corner of his mouth and she wiped it off with a laugh, attempting to get them back to happy once again. He pretended to bite at her fingers and she laughed again.
They shared the milkshake, though Mulder drank the majority of it. When they left, his hand once again went to get lower back, his fingers circling where her tattoo used to be. She had chosen to put the tattoo there years ago to reclaim the spot where he always put his hand. She had been so angry at him, she felt that she needed to do something to mark the moment she was in at the time. She had it removed not long after she got it, the serpent no longer representing how she felt.
He helped her with her coat, grabbed his own, and they headed outside. She reached for his hand as they walked to the car. She felt happy and if she was perfectly honest, she was also feeling horny. They had not had sex in a while and she missed it, missed him. His looks and touches through the night had made her feel tingly and so in the mood for him.
They arrived at the car, got in, and he began to head for home. She sat in the car and felt overcome with her desire for him. They were leaving the city when she knew she could not take it much longer. She reached over and put her hand on his thigh, making him jump in surprise. He looked over at her and she smiled as she bit her lip. He inhaled and she brought her hand up a little higher.
She ran her fingers over his crotch and he swerved a little on the road. She giggled and he swore, telling her to watch what she was doing. She looked at him and did it once more before telling him to pull over now.
"Scully, we're almost home," he said, his hand covering hers as she squeezed his dick. He was getting hard and she was definitely ready for him. She squeezed once more and he pulled over quickly, turning off the car.
No one was on the road as she unbuckled her seatbelt and moved around, climbing into his lap. He grabbed her and held her steady as she dropped her mouth to his, her tongue diving right in. His hands went to her hair and she moaned in his mouth.
She pulled back and took her coat off, getting tangled for a second and cursing while he laughed. He helped her figure it out and his hands moved to her ass as she held his face, kissing him once again. His hands moved under her dress and he broke from her kiss.
"Scully," he said, his voice dangerously low and making her physically throb. "Where ... where is your underwear?"
He groaned as his hands trailed over her naked ass and down to her center, making her cry out. She moved her hands from his face and down to his waistband. They had not had sex in awhile, this was true, but having sex in the car had been even longer.
She got his pants open and he got them down far enough to allow her to slide down his length. They both moaned and her head fell back, the feel of him inside her was invigorating. She licked her lips and then leaned forward, her hands going to his shoulders.
He leaned the seat back somehow while still keeping a hold on her. She cried out in surprise, falling forward and then raising up, putting her hands on his chest. She began to ride him, breathing his name. God, it was exquisite. He felt so good inside her, something she had not felt for some time.
He chanted her name, his hands on her hips, helping her move in their confined space. She was close already and knew it would not take long. She went faster, her nails digging into his chest. He put a hand on her inner thigh, then moved his fingers to her center again. His thumb found her clit and she cried out as he touched her while she continued her pace.
"I'm so close, Scully," he whispered in a strangled voice. "I can feel that you are too. God, you're so wet and you feel so good. Come, Scully."
And she did. Convulsing around him, her nails pushing in harder, she heard him cry out and then felt him come inside her. She rode him slower as they came down from their release. Their breath had fogged up the windows and outside it was very dark, good for covering up the naughty act that just took place in their car.
She collapsed against his chest, his hands coming to rest on her back as they lay together, their hearts pounding and bodies sweating. Dear god, she had needed that, she thought. Needed to feel him in every way and be with him again.
His heart was racing and she smiled as she listened to it. His hands traveled up and down her back as he breathily whispered her name. One hand went to her head and his short nails scratched at her scalp and she moaned. He laughed and she raised her head.
He smiled at her as he looked in her eyes. "I hope you don't think that this constitutes as a birthday gift. I expect to find some kind of actual gift, wrapped and waiting for me at home," she said, a playful look on her face. He laughed again, and pulled her in for a kiss.
She climbed off him soon after, carefully sitting on her dress, as her underwear was not available to be worn at the moment. He adjusted his seat and his clothing before heading for home. He reached for her hand and kissed her fingers when he held it.
They pulled up to the house a couple of minutes later, and he turned off the car, letting go of her hand so he could get out. He had not been wrong, they were not far from home, but she had to have him, the need too overwhelming to wait even a couple more miles.
She opened her door and shivered, her jacket having been tossed somewhere out of reach. She walked quickly into the house and then the bathroom, cleaning up the stickiness left behind from their fun in the car.
She came out and he was hanging up their coats. She walked over to her coat and took her underwear from a pocket where she had stashed it earlier after a trip to the bathroom before they left the diner. He watched her and he made a noise she had never heard, before he took her underwear and put them in his pants pocket.
She grinned and opened the presents he brought out to her. The child's doctor kit he gave her, being used in a more sexual way than it had been intended, soon had them both hot and needing to have each other again. Her exam of him was thorough, making him moan. Unable to take it anymore, he grabbed her and pulled her to the floor, laughing but also making her heart race.
The cold floor was welcome on her warm body, as was the weight of the man on top of her. His back was slick with sweat, as she ran her fingers up and down, their bodies sated and still humming. He lifted his head and looked at her.
"Happy birthday, Scully," he whispered, kissing her softly, as she wrapped her legs tighter around him, keeping him close.
He put his head back onto her neck, licking at the sweat that had formed there. She moaned and closed her eyes before he kissed her neck, and then lay still.
She ran her fingers into his hair, her eyes feeling heavy. She knew this was not the optimal place to fall asleep, but she felt if they moved, the spell would break and the power from the office would call to him. She would suffer a lumpy feeling sore back if it meant staying with him this way, feeling his body on hers.
Tonight, you did not win, she thought, looking at the office and feeling a sense of power, before sleep took hold and she held tight to the man she loved.
Tears were running down her face at the bittersweet memory. Bittersweet then and even more so now. That night when he had stayed with her and not gone into the office had been happy and wonderful. But it did not last and here she was, in a rather sterile apartment, celebrating her birthday on her own because they could not get their shit together.
She shook her head and put her cupcake back in the container, the thought of eating it now made her stomach feel sick. She put the container in the refrigerator, dumped out her glass of milk in the sink, adding the fork and plate, before turning the lights off, and going into her room. She pushed her bags out of the way where they sat on the floor and laid down on her side on the bed. She grabbed a pillow and held it close to her, closing her eyes, feeling alone and incredibly sad.
She fell asleep, her dreams peaceful despite her sadness. She dreamt of Mulder's laugh, the way his skin smelled after a run, the touch of his hand, the feel of his fingers running through her hair, and the taste of his kiss and how dizzy it could make her. But mostly, she dreamt of his eyes. Eyes that calmed her, could speak to her above the roar of a crowded room, and where his love for her could always be found, shining out like a light guiding a ship to safety.
