I'm back with another update for you wonderful readers! Sorry for taking so long, school and SAT's got the better of me. Prompted by Canadian-23:
Kurt and Nick become really close friends because Jeff and Blaine don't see them as romantic interest yet ;) but when they realize that they are losing their best friends they realize their feelings and tell them that they love them.
This chapter was a huge challenge for me because, having not seen a lot of the episodes from the middle of Season 2, I really had no idea how to characterize Jeff and Nick. Because of that, and because I really wanted to focus on Klaine, they don't make that large of an appearance in this chapter. So sorry if I've disappointed anyone. This chapter contains the beautiful song "Not Alone" by Darren Criss (which I clearly don't own), so that's where the title comes from. Enjoy!
Not Alone
Blaine took a deep breath as he belted out the last, lingering note of Pink's latest song, and grinned triumphantly as he hopped down from the coffee table he'd been perched on. He gazed around at the circle of applauding Warblers surrounding him, a pleased flush taking the place of the one from the exertion of singing. "How was it?" he asked, anxious even though he could anticipate the enthusiastic praise that was sure to come from most of the Warblers.
Through their congratulations and the claps of hands on his shoulder, Blaine couldn't keep his eyes from darting to Kurt, from watching carefully and waiting with baited breath for his approval. In Kurt's first months at Dalton, he'd never failed to express admiration for all of Blaine's performances, and Blaine had come to look forward to it, initially just because it was nice to have someone who was always so appreciative, and later on because he learned that Kurt was a tough judge of singing and that his compliments actually meant something.
Recently, though, Kurt's corner of the Warbler's lounge had been unusually silent after Blaine's performances, and Blaine suddenly became aware of how much he missed the small words of praise that he'd grown so accustomed to. Today, Kurt barely cast a glance in Blaine's direction, instead turning his head to murmur something in Nick's ear.
Blaine sighed and shook off the other Warblers, trying to make eye contact with Kurt. It was odd how they spent an hour singing together in the same room every day after school, yet it was like Kurt never really saw him anymore. Sure, they greeted each other in the hallways, and they exchanged perfunctory small talk once in a while, but it wasn't the same. Blaine almost wished that they'd had some sort of explosive quarrel that had set them at odds instead of this silent, insidious distance that had crept in between them. Then at least he'd know exactly where they'd gone wrong. He used to be able to know what Kurt was thinking just by glancing into his eyes… Blaine hadn't directly seen those expressive blue eyes in weeks. He longed for Kurt's half exasperated, half amused glare whenever he made a fool of himself. He became conspicuously aware of the lack of Kurt's sharp, quick-witted repartee in long debates over song selection. He'd almost forgotten how adorable Kurt looked when he crinkled his small nose at something distasteful.
And as easily as Kurt had shed his friendship with Blaine like clothes gone out of style, he'd grown just as attached to Nick. The two were inseparable - always nudging each other or exchanging glances filled with a million unspoken words, or leaning in close to each other's ears to whisper inside jokes. Blaine watched the two leave the room together now, perfectly carefree, Kurt laughing at something Nick had said and tipping his head against Nick's shoulder for a moment. That should be me, Blaine thought sadly to himself, his chest aching dully. That could have been me.
There had always been something in the way with Blaine and Kurt. First it had been that Kurt was just coming to a new school, with nobody but Blaine, fleeing a living hell at McKinley, and it would be unfair, as a mentor, to take advantage of the new boy. Then Blaine got used to Kurt's friendship and fixated on Jeremiah - Jeremiah, with his fake bleached curls and his constant thin-lipped smile that never reached his eyes, - Jeremiah, who was so ease to blame for widening crevasse between Blaine and Kurt. After Jeremiah's rejection, Blaine had backed off of Kurt so that Kurt would know that he was never just a rebound, but by then it was too late. If Blaine had been paying attention he would have wondered what Kurt had done on the nights that he'd spent brooding over a silly GAP cashier, and he'd have discovered that Kurt was pouring over homework with Nick in the library, and eventually pouring cups of coffee for them to sip while they chatted about God-knows-what. And now it was too late. Kurt had grown tired of waiting, which had been exactly what it took for Blaine to wake up and see what had been in front of him all along.
Blaine tore his eyes from Kurt and Nick's retreating backs and caught sight of Jeff passing by in his periphery. Perfect. "Hey, Jeff," Blaine called out, tapping the blonde Warbler's shoulder to halt him. "Where do Kurt and Nick go after school every day?"
Jeff stared blankly for a moment and then sighed. "I never know where Nick is anymore," he said, his voice defeated. He looked up and cocked his head quizzically. "Couldn't you ask Kurt?"
Blaine shrugged slightly. "Kurt and I don't…" Blaine trailed off, unsure of exactly what it was that he and Kurt had lost. "… we don't talk much," he finished lamely, watching Jeff warily and anticipating a playful shove to the shoulder or a snort of amusement.
Instead, Jeff nodded gravely and tugged rather meditatively on the forelock of his hair. "Well, then there's only one thing to do," Jeff said after a brief pause, looking up with a glint of mischievousness in his eyes. "You've got to make him talk to you."
Blaine's thick eyebrows furrowed. "I don't know what kind of medieval torture techniques you're planning on using here, but he'll barely make eye contact with me, I'm not going to get him to just talk to me."
"Well," Jeff explained slowly, as if what he was saying was the most obvious thing in the world, "Don't give him an option. Maybe you can't make him talk, but you can make him listen."
Blaine chuckled. "You're talking to me the way Kurt's friends talk to Britney. You don't have to explain things to me like I'm stupid. I'm not mentally challenged."
Jeff raised his blonde eyebrows and stared at Blaine dubiously. "I'm not so sure about that," he said. "Kurt's been crushing on you since you met him on the stairs, and you can't even see it."
Blaine heard his own sharp intake of breath and felt himself freeze. "No," he whispered. "I would have noticed that."
Jeff's eyebrows crept higher, waiting for his words to sink in. "Think about it. His irrational rage when you kissed Rachel and thought you weren't gay after all... his lackluster enthusiasm about serenading Jeremiah. The amount of effort he put into being sexy in 'Animal,' though I'll be the first to admit it wasn't all that seductive."
Blaine groaned. "You're right. Now what am I supposed to do about it? Say to him, 'Let's just forget about the fact that I ignored you for the past three months and be friends again?' I can't do that."
Jeff chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Be a Warbler. Do what you do best. Serenade him." A moment later, Jeff's expression shifted and his blue eyes widened. "Hey, Blaine, hang on. When you find them, tell Nick that I'm looking for him."
Blaine smirked knowingly and patted Jeff's shoulder. "Decided to take your own advice?"
Jeff scowled and shoved Blaine lightly. "Don't push it, Anderson."
Half an hour later, Blaine parked his car in the lot of the Lima Bean, where it seemed Kurt would be most likely to be found. Sure enough, there was Kurt's car, and in the space next to it, Nick's. Blaine slid out of his Civic and grabbed a red scarf from the passenger seat, winding it around his neck and tucking his chin into the warm wool that Kurt had knitted him for his Christmas present. He whispered the word "courage" into the soft cloth and forced himself to walk into the cozy, cinnamon-scented coffee shop, the snakelike knot of nervousness in his stomach coiling itself tighter with every step.
"Kurt? Nick?" he asked quietly, coming up behind Kurt's side of the table so that he wouldn't have to face Kurt right away.
They both looked up, startled, and Blaine felt himself blushing as his hands moved unconsciously up to toy anxiously with the ends of his scarf. What had he been thinking when he drove here? Too late to turn back, Blaine smiled tensely and murmured, "Sorry to intrude, but I was wondering if I could talk to you?" Blaine stared hard at Kurt, wondering whether he was going to receive a snide, biting remark or a polite but phony excuse, and silently debating which would be worse.
Instead, Kurt cast an apologetic glance at Nick and shrugged, answering quietly, "Sure."
"And Nick," Blaine continued, blowing out a relieved breath since the worst part seemed to be over, "Jeff wants to see you, he told me to let you know."
Nick, too, agreed with surprising willingness, pausing as he pulled on his coat to say to Kurt, "We'll catch up later?"
Kurt nodded. "Later." The bells over the door jingled as Nick left, and Kurt looked up at Blaine. "Are you going to have a seat?"
Blaine's flush deepened and he shoved his hands deeper into his coat pockets. "It's not really something I can do in here," he said awkwardly. "Can we go to the park across the street? It's supposed to have a piano, too, but..." Blaine trailed off and watched Kurt, waiting.
Kurt rose agreeably enough, draining the last of his coffee and stuffing a dollar into the tip jar on the counter as he left, but once they stepped out into the chilly March air, Kurt looked back over his shoulder and said quietly, "I hope you know, singing me another Pink song isn't going to make things like they were."
So Kurt's noticed it, too, Blaine thought with surprise, and then he realized that of course Kurt would notice, Kurt was the one who had noticed everything all along, and Blaine wondered how long Kurt had suffered the helplessness of watching them drift apart and not knowing how to stop it from happening.
A sideways glance from Kurt recalled Blaine to the present, and he mumbled, embarrassed, "The song isn't by Pink."
They made it into the park, walking across grass that had become uneven and matted from the winter's repeated freezing and thawing, and Blaine halted, turning to face Kurt and taking Kurt's cold hands gently in his own. "Is this okay?" Blaine asked warily, feeling Kurt look up in surprise at the physical contact.
"Yeah," Kurt answered, sounding strangely pleased.
"The song is supposed to be a duet, but the lyrics were right, so I hope you don't mind." Blaine said.
He waiting for Kurt to nod his consent, and then took a deep breath, beginning to sing the words that he'd finally found to tell Kurt what he'd been wanting to say for so long.
I've been alone
Surrounded by darkness
I've seen how heartless
The world can be
Kurt always thought that Blaine had been the one to save him. How could Kurt not see that it was the other way around entirely, that Kurt had been the only one who could show Blaine that everything he'd suffered at Sadie Hawkins was not the end of the world, and that there was something beyond it that was worth getting to?
I've seen you crying
You felt like it's hopeless
I'll always do my best
To make you see
Baby, you're not alone
Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through
Blaine's voice became rough as he realized that he'd abandoned Kurt, left him alone in a new school as Blaine moved on to other, less important preoccupations than the countertenor standing before him now. He tightened his fingers around Kurt's as if it could prove that he really wasn't going anywhere, and smiled when he felt Kurt give a squeeze in response.
Now I know it ain't easy
Blaine's face lit up as Kurt joined in, his voice quietly echoing the words as backup.
But it ain't hard trying
"So hard trying," Kurt sang, and Blaine regretted everything he'd done that would make Kurt say that.
Every time I see you smiling
And I feel you so close to me
And you tell me
Baby, you're not alone
Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through
Kurt joined in again at the chorus, his voice chiming perfectly with Blaine's and filling in the gaps, his eyes glowing and wonderfully alive.
I still have trouble
I trip and stumble
Trying to make sense of things sometimes
I look for reasons
But I don't need 'em
All I need is to look in your eyes
And I realize
Blaine hoped desperately that his voice was enough to show Kurt just how sorry he was. He let his eyes bore into to Kurt's, trying to make him look past the brown color and into his soul so that Kurt could see it, could feel that Blaine wished with everything he was that he'd not been so oblivious.
Baby I'm not alone
Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna take us down
Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through
Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
Cause nothing, nothing, nothing can keep me from lovin' you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
You know our love is all we need
Our love is all we need to make it through
Blaine finished the last line of the song and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Kurt," he whispered quietly, the words sounding soft in the silence after the song. "I love you, and I get it if it's too late now, but I needed you to know."
When Kurt only stared and bit his lower lip slightly, Blaine tried to withdraw his hands from Kurt's, backing off, but Kurt's fingers tightened in protest, keeping Blaine's hands firmly trapped. "Don't go again," Kurt said quickly, his voice nearly pleading, and Blaine stopped, rubbing his thumb gently over Kurt's smooth knuckles.
A moment later, Kurt swallowed loudly and asked, his voice hesitant, as though he were afraid of intruding on something private, "You wrote that song, didn't you?"
Blaine nodded, looking down. "I know it's not great, but I couldn't find anything else that would tell you what I needed to say."
And then Kurt's fingers were under Blaine's chin, drawing it up until Blaine had to tear his gaze from the ground and meet Kurt's eyes. "You're right, it wasn't great." Before Blaine's heart had time to sink, Kurt was continuing. "It was perfect."
Blaine's breath caught in his throat. "Thanks," he whispered, the words sounding weak and pale in Blaine's ears in comparison to what Kurt had said.
"I think..." Kurt trailed off and hesitated for a moment before saying with more certainty, "I think I love you, too."
Blaine held still, afraid that any move would shatter the delicate balance between them and break the spell.
The back of Kurt's fingers brushed lightly over Blaine's cheek, and he offered with a shy smile, "Do you want to go get some coffee?"
Blaine finally relaxed, muscles that he didn't know he had tensed melting under Kurt's tender gaze. "Are you asking me on a date?"
"If I were, would you say yes?"
Blaine beamed and placed his hands on either side of Kurt's face, kissing him very sweetly and briefly. "Yes. Yes." He leaned his forehead against Kurt's, and whispered in a voice purely full of joy, "Yes, I would."
This is the closest thing to a songfic I've ever written, so hopefully it turned out alright and nobody minded it. I'm personally not a big fan of songfics, but a serenade seemed exactly like something Blaine would do. A huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed, you guys make my days. Now I have a question for you all: Does the fluffiness of my stories bother you? I love reading fluff, but I know not everyone does, and I don't want to be overly-cheesy. On one final note, if you like the way I write Klaine, you might want to know that I started another Klaine story called "You Make Me Feel So Alive." If any of you want to check it out, I'd be thrilled.
