Chapter 11:

At long last, they made it back to the village. Neji and Sasuke were still sound asleep, but Naruto had had enough of carrying them around. He shifted Neji on his back to rouse him. "Psst, Neji."

He buried his face in Naruto's back.

"We're here."

He opened his eyes. "We are..?"

"Yup. You want me to carry you all the way or do you want to walk through the gate on your own?"

No question. Neji got off and continued the rest of the way on his own two feet.

Naruto looked at his clone. Sasuke was still sleeping on his back, but not in a deep sleep. He appeared to be just dozing. "Sasuke, wake up."

"I'm not asleep, you moron."

"But your eyes are shut."

"I'm just resting." Sasuke sat up and stretched. He needed that rest even if it was short. He looked around. "We're back?"

"Yup."

Sasuke nudged the clone, signaling to set him down. Once his feet hit the ground, the clone vanished. "There's no way in hell I'm letting you carry me through those doors for all to see. Collapsing from exhaustion is far less embarrassing."

Naruto couldn't help but take offense to that remark. "You calling me an embarrassment?"

As soon as they had reached the gate, Neji was tackled by Tenten. "Where the hell were you?!"

"We were so worried about you, Neji!" Lee came running up to him followed closely by Gai.

"My dear, Neji! What happened?"

Neji shot him a dirty look and hung his head in shame. "Sorry…"

Tenten put her hands on her hips. "You had me worried sick, you know that? Running off like that in the middle of a fight…"

"Did you guys get him?"

"Yup!" Lee struck a pose. "Gai-sensei was amazing! Tell him, sensei!"

"He was no match for the brave, the noble, the mighty-!"

"Yeah, yeah. The point is you got him." Neji cut him off short. Gai's boasting could go on for hours and he knew it. "Am I in trouble for running off?" He was afraid to ask, but his mouth worked up the nerve to question his fate.

"Lady Tusnade wants to know what happened to you."

Neji and Sasuke looked at each other. He read all he needed to in Sasuke's eyes. She was not to know. Not yet. "I… I'll speak to her, I guess. But even I'm not sure what happened to me back there," he answered miserably.

"Not to worry, Neji!" Gai slammed a hand on Neji's back in what he had assumed to be an innocent pat of reassurance; not a gesture to bruise the spine. "I'm sure even the best of us have our days where we're scared of our own shadow. No need to worry! I can work with you on it if you like."

"No, thanks…" Neji moaned.

Naruto and Sasuke were left alone now. "Want to find Kakashi? He said that he'd meet us here."

"You should know by now that he never means what he says." Sasuke started walking in the direction of his house. "I'm going home."

But as soon as he walked up his street, he saw a pink-haired ninja sitting on his front steps holding a pot in her lap. He should have never accepted her food the other day. Now she just wouldn't leave him alone. More than usual, anyway.

"On second thought…" He turned to the one standing behind him. "Maybe I could hang out at… your place…" Sasuke struggled with the words. He had never been in Naruto's house before, nor did he want to. But anything was better than putting up with Sakura.

He blinked. "You want to come over to my house?"

"Just for a little bit. At least until she's gone."

"Sure!" Naruto was actually excited to have him over. He rarely got visitors, and Sasuke was never in the mood.

~*~*~

It was a bad idea on his part. A very bad idea. Now he knew why he never wanted to come over before. Naruto's house was a total mess. He never put away of his dishes or his trash, never cleaned the table, and it looked like the floor hadn't seen a mop in years. Ramen cups were left out and stacked in odd places, including wedged between books and under his bed. There was a layer of mold in the bathroom on the bottom of the tub and around the toilet. His carpet was crusty and made strange squishing noises when stepped on, clothes were thrown in every direction, making it impossible to tell if they were clean or dirty. His ninja supplies were strewn in every direction and bugs were crawling everywhere.

But being a guest in Naruto's home, Sasuke phrased his sentence very carefully and tried to put it was politely as possible. "You live like a pig. Ever hear of soap, moron?"

"Hey!" Naruto tossed his shoes in a corner. "Don't be so rude. I just cleaned it."

"When, a year ago?"

The rudeness never took away Naruto's smile. He was just happy to have someone over. "Make yourself at home. Want something to eat? I have instant ramen. They're pork flavored."

Sasuke gulped and started to turn around. "I think I'll take my chances with Sakura."

"Wait a minute, don't go!" Naruto pulled him back. "Ok, ok. What do you want to do?"

"Me? I want you to clean up your house. This place is unlivable!"

"I live here."

"Well, it's a wonder, alright…" Sasuke explored around the small apartment, opening cupboard doors and stealing a peek in the fridge. "I don't understand how you can live like this."

"Live like what? There's nothing wrong with my house."

"There's underwear in the refrigerator!"

Naruto scratched his head. "I've been looking for those…"

"You're disgusting!"

"Well, sorry if it doesn't live up to your standards, you neat-freak!"

Sasuke pulled out a carton of milk. "And how long have you had this?" He shook it and they could hear small chunks sloshing around inside. "It's gross!"

Naruto clicked his tongue. "Are you finished, yet?"

"No, I'm not!" Sasuke wasn't through complaining yet. Not by a long shot. "You put food- good food- in the fridge, not clothes! Pick up your clothes and put them away out of sight! I don't want to look in some random direction and see them dangling from the ceiling like they are now. Would it kill you to pick up after yourself? Is it too much to ask that you buy food that isn't rotten and then get rid of it when it goes bad?! I'm afraid I'll die if I eat anything from here. And another thing…"

Naruto held up a shiny bell on a chain and dangled it in front of Sasuke's face, shutting him up. Sasuke's dark eyes reflected the little bell and sparkled. He started to play with it, batting it back and forth with his hand.

"It's so much easier getting you to shut up now." Naruto bounced the bell up and down on the chain, watching Sasuke's ears twitch every time it chimed. "Bet you can't even remember what you were saying, huh?"

Sasuke playfully swatted it and giggled when it swung back, jingling. This was fun!

~*~*~

At last, Sasuke went home and left Naruto alone in his messy apartment. Naruto dawned his nightcap and crawled into bed. The moon had risen, shining its light into Naruto's open window. But that wasn't what woke him. No, it was something else.

It was meowing and yowling. He rolled over and covered his face with his pillow. "Stupid street cats..!"

He didn't get up until he heard a familiar voice meowing with them.

"Sasuke?!"

He jumped out of bed and hurried to the window. There were a few cats on the street below, but no Sasuke. Curious, he turned around and looked at his roof. There were a couple of cats sitting on his rooftop, and Sasuke was in the middle of them looking up at the moon.

"You've got to be kidding me…"

Sasuke turned and gave him a nod. "Hey."

Naruto climbed onto the roof and sat in front of him. "What are you doing up here?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. I just felt like coming up here for some reason."

"Why's it have to be my roof? Isn't Sakura gone yet? You can do this at your house."

"I didn't feel like it."

The cats circled around Naruto, purring and meowing at him in greeting. "Why were you yowling?"

"I was?" Sasuke gave a little shrug of his shoulders. "I didn't notice."

With a sigh, Naruto following Sasuke's gaze up to the night sky. It was a lovely night.

"Would you look at it?" Sasuke purred. "I love the moon. It's not full yet, but it looks so big… I love the night. It's so peaceful."

"Too bad you don't sleep at night like normal people anymore. Then we'd be all set. I can't carry you around forever, you know."

Sasuke didn't say anything.

Naruto turned his body so that he was now sitting shoulder to shoulder with his teammate and scratched him behind the ears. Sasuke purred. Naruto grinned. It still did the trick.

~*~*~

"We're getting worse, aren't we?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Ever since this whole thing started, the two have been getting progressively worse by the day. They had hoped that it would be over in a few days, but that didn't seem to be the case. It also looked like their 'getting worse before it got better' theory was also just a false hope. They weren't improving at all. If anything, things were getting much worse and staying that way.

"So how did things go with the Hokage?" Sasuke asked to change the subject.

Neji moaned pitifully. "It was a disaster. Long story short, I just had to tell her that I was a coward and ran off. There was nothing else I could do."

"You could have lied and said that you were running off to stop that guy you were chasing or something."

"Nah, she's smarter than that. She wouldn't fall for it. Besides, Lee's the dumbest one in our group and even he wouldn't believe that. I had to tell them the truth. I ran away. End of story."

Sasuke kicked his legs over the side of the bench they were sitting on in the park. "Have you noticed anything else?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Such as?"

Neji avoided his eyes. "I couldn't help but notice that… Well, during the day… The thing I noticed was…"

"Spit it out."

Neji swallowed hard. "Haven't you noticed that we seem to be developing short attention-spans?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know." Neji shifted in his seat. "Like we'll be having a conversation and then all of a sudden, we'll space out and get distracted by something?"

Come to think of it, Sasuke had noticed that a few times. He got distracted by anything that moved. He wanted to frolic with butterflies, for God's sake! "Yeah, I have."

"During my lecture with the Hokage, I kept getting distracted by the curtains blowing in the wind behind her. There was also something dangling from the edge of her desk and I just had this powerful urge to play with it."

Sasuke sympathized with him. They were turning into simple-minded cats! They were fascinated by the simplest of things, had become very lazy and took pleasure in simple ways. They were no longer thinking like the geniuses that they were but more like common household felines. Give them a ball of yarn and they were the happiest they had ever been. Give them a bowl of milk and they were as content as could be.

"How can we even call ourselves ninja anymore?" Neji had to know. "We no longer act the part or anything!"

"Calm down. Maybe we'll-"

"Have you found that woman who sold you that stupid potion yet?"

"No."

"Well, what are you waiting for?!"

"Look, I can't find her, ok?! She's a traveling saleswoman, ok? She's probably long gone by now. Just give it up."

"How can I when it's not wearing off like a certain someone said it would?!"

"Hey, I'm in this mess too, you know!"

"Yeah, but you got me into this!" Neji turned away in a huff.

"Hey, guys!" Naruto popped out of nowhere and landed right between them on the bench, making the two jump in surprise.

"What do you want?"

"Come on, I'll show you." Naruto waved for them to follow. "Come on, hurry up!"

The two got up and followed him back to his house. Naruto unlocked the door and showed them into his apartment.

"Ta-da!"

The place was still a royal mess, but much tidier than before when Sasuke first saw it. "What's this about?"

"I have a present for you!" he sang.

The two moved closer into the apartment taking a look around. Whatever Naruto had up his sleeve couldn't be good news for them. Several theories flashed through their minds, but few seemed likely. But several others were right on the nose when it came to someone like Naruto in this situation.

Naruto came back pushing something across the floor in front of him. It was covered with colorful carpeting, shiny bells, a feather duster, cotton balls on strings, and it was wrapped up in different colored yarn. Naruto pushed it in front of them and stood back declaring proudly, "I made it!"

"Obviously…"

He was still bubbling with excitement. "Well? So what do you think?"

"I think it's a monstrosity."

"Huh?!" Naruto's jaw dropped.

"What the hell's it supposed to be?"

"It's a giant cat toy!" Naruto jingled a bell. "I made it for you guys to play with. Don't you like it?"

"Not in the slightest." Neji crossed his arms.

Sasuke did the same. "Yeah, how could you even think to build something so stupid like that? Trying to make fun of us or something? What were you trying to pull?"

"Nothing!" Naruto took offense. "I was just trying to do something nice for you! Geez, take my head off, why don't you? I don't know why I even bothered!"

"Neither do we. It looks horrible. What a disgrace."

Naruto kicked the giant cat toy and muttered under his breath. "So it's a catastrophe, huh?" Then his face lit up. "Hehehe, get it? Catastrophe?" He started giggling at the unintended joke. Neither Sasuke nor Neji laughed. "Come on! It's funny and you know it!"

"Can we go now?"

"No, no! Hang on!" Naruto started to the other side of the room. "I have something else for you!"

"If it's a giant homemade fish ball, then don't bother."

There was a short pause, and then Naruto ran in a different direction. "I got something else for you, then." He ran out onto the deck and took something off the line and carried it back into the house with him. He tossed the large futon on the floor by the porch with a grunt. "Here!"

They looked at it in silence.

"It's a futon."

"We can see that. But why?"

Naruto looked at the futon and then back up at Sasuke. "I made it nice for you."

"How?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I warmed it up in the sun for you. It's nice and warm now, and I know how much you guys like warm stuff."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You've got to be-"

Without warning, Neji came soaring through the air and onto the futon. He rubbed his face on it and snuggled into its warmth. "He's right! It is warm!" He snuggled in deeper. "Oh, this feels so nice!"

Curiosity taking over, Sasuke approached and took a closer look. "Is it..?"

"It's so warm and soft!" Neji rolled around on the futon, loving everything about it. "This feels great!"

Sasuke put a hand on the white futon. "Wow, it is warm." He lowered his face to it. "And it smells like sunshine." He climbed onto it and sat down next to Neji. "Hey, this is great!"

Neji rolled around on his back, kicking his legs in the air. "I told you. Didn't I tell you?"

Sasuke buried his face in the warm, soft futon. "This is so wonderful..! I had no idea a futon warming in the sun could feel so good..! I could stay here forever…"

Neji purred a response and curled up on his stomach. "I think I'm gonna nap here for the afternoon… It's so comfy…"

Sasuke stretched out, taking up as much space as possible and collapsed next to Neji. "I agree. I think I'm gonna take a little nap right here, too."

Neji had his eyes shut, his arms tucked up underneath his chest and his knees bent, shielding his elbows. "G'night…"

Sasuke stretched out next to him and shut his eyes. "Thanks for the gift, Naruto. I like it already."

Naruto grinned. "I knew you would."


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