I just wanted to write this today. Sorry if it sucks. Please note there will be major randomness ahead.
Disclaimer: I…don't…own…Full…Metal…Alchemist…Bleh.
"Great! We're all here now!" I said as everyone was gathered onstage.
"Great!...Sooo…now what?" Falman asked.
"You sing," Simon answered. "Now."
"What? Why? In all the other chapters we stalled forever until we actually sang!" Winry pointed out.
"Yeah, but I'm depressed, and I just wanna do it this way this time. And if anyone says anything about it, you're outta the fic."
"But Armstrong is practically out of the fic now, and he did nothing to really 'upset' you per say…" (Hawkeye)
I gave her a look, "Do you really wanna repeat that? I sure hope you know WHY he's not in the fic anymore!"
"Yes, yes, I know." Hawkeye rubbed her temples.
"Did you notice how everyone is, like…really depressed so far in this chapter?" Havoc wondered aloud, while snuggling Mr. Squirrely-Whirly.
"Please, we're only twenty-eight lines into the chapter," I answered.
"WOAH, LYKE, OMIGOSH!" Envy squealed. "You totally counted?"
"No, I used Word Count in the tools bar," I replied, while filling out a restraining order.
"This fic isn't the same…Why is it…so…different?" Paula wondered.
We all stared at her. "Like, woah. When'd you get back?" I blinked.
She looked around. "Dunno. Em's not here right now."
"Yeah…she's in rehab."
"Ooooooo! BURN!" Envy squealed (again).
"What does that have to do with anything?" I glared.
"Um…dunno…stalling?"
"DYYYYYAAAAAMMMMM!" Scar did this gangsta sign.
"Oh, now I know why the fic's different…You, and Lust are supposed to be dead! Not to mention there's now all the different homunculi!"
"DYYYYYYYYYYAAAAMMMMMM!" Ed yelled.
Scar's face looked like ditto's. "Aw…why'd I have to die?"
"Because your creators are fricken retards." (Me)
"Oh, that explains a lot. Like why my scar is white, even though my face practically blew up, and it should be blood red."
"Exactly," I smirked.
"Um, stalling…" (Randy) Randy's face was almost immediately ripped off, as Al's new kitty, Goku went on a rampage.
"Bad kitty!" Al shook his finger at the cat. The cat proceeded to jump into Al's body and claw at his blood seal. "AHHHH! BAD KITTY!" Al screamed as he ran in circles. He eventually tripped over the microphone wire, sending his head, and Goku over a wall into the mysterious beyond.
"…With that being said…"
"Actually, it was more like 'done'," Breda pointed out.
I hit him over the head and continued, "…with that being SAID…Please give it up for Edward Elric! Singing 'Cowboy Take Me Away'!"
"That's a girl song!" he shouted.
"…So?"
Ed, still being in his little cowboy uniform walked up to the mike, and started singing:
Cowboy, take me away…
I don't know the lines…
I don't feel like rhyming…
Hey, isn't this a Dixie Chix song?
All the guys in the audience: "…"
All the girls in the audience: "OMIGOSH! I LOVE YOU! WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
Me: O.o "Um, no. Just…no. Do it over."
"What the crap! I sang! Isn't that good enough?"
"…Um, no? Sing 'I Am'."
"…Video game music?"
"JUST SING IT!"
Ed turned around again and started to sing.
I don't know this song!
I don't know how it goes!
Never heard it in my liiiiiife!
"ED!"
"Seriously! I've never heard it! And besides, they like it!" he said pointing to a group of fangirls with shirts that said, 'EDWARD IS MY BISHIE!'
o.O "Okay, okay…um…Down Under the Sea?"
"…Disney?"
"I'm out of creativity tonight, go with it."
He shrugged and started singing again.
I hate Disney!
Oh, I hate them so-o!
They always kill off the mothers!
They are heartless!
And all the fathers
Are complete bastards!
Disney,
You waste all my ti-ime!
You're such a waste,
What makes you think you shi-ine?
Tell me!
WHYYYYYY-YYYY?
Your crapiness no one can measure!
And yet,
You think you're such a treasuuuuuuuure!
I'll tell you what you did…
You stabbed the beast, in the hea-eart!
You made ruined Mulan's sequel!
And called it an ar-art!
Oh, why?
Why must do such things?
Now, you claim to be
The animation ki-ings!
You've ruined children,
You've ruined my li-ife,
Now prepare to suffer
Prepare for stri-ife!
I'll have your he-eads!
Walt Disney…
This wouldn't have happened, if you had… just… stayed… dead!
…Complete silence.
I blinked. I blinked again. One more time. …Okay a couple more times. "Um…Ed, did you make that up off the top of your head?"
He looked around with shifty eyes. "Mayyyyyybe…"
O.o "Okay then. Judges?"
Randy was crying because the song was so touching, Paula was drooling so that the drool was making a pool of water around the front of the stage, which made it REALLY hard to get to the bathroom for the audience-
ELSEWHERE!
'Aww…man…I really have to pee…" some random guy in the audience thought frantically.
NOT ELSEWHERE!
-and Simon was gawking…or something like that.
"Um…perfect?" I said nervously.
About that time, a tomato flew up and hit Ed squarely in the face. "WHAT THE FRACK?" Ed turned around to see the homunculi booing and stuff. "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?"
"BOOO! DOWN WITH ED!" Wrath yelled.
"GO LUST, GLUTTONY, AND ENVY!" Sloth clapped.
"WE BELIEVE IN YOU…Okay, no we don't," Pride said.
Gluttony appeared next to Pride (somehow), and bit his head off. He then appeared back onstage (somehow).
"Hey…aren't you supposed to be dead, too?" I pointed at Sloth.
"Well…kind of. Right now, I'm in the process of dying. So…yeah."
"Hm, pity. Anywayyyy…Now what?"
"You could change me out of this cowboy uniform," Ed said.
"…No."
"WHY NOT?"
"Cuz."
"THAT'S NOT A GOOD REASON!"
That kind of officially pissed me off, considering how I was PMSing and all…My head grew really big, and Ed became chibi Ed. "I'LL TELL YOU WHY! BECAUSE I'M THE DAMN AUTHORESS! THAT'S WHY! NOW SHUT THE FRACK UP AND BE A GOOD LITTLE COWBOY!"
"Yes'm!" Ed whimpered.
A change of topic, to keep me from totally PMSing on all of them, Mustang coughed, "Ahem, so uh…who's next?"
"Havoc."
Yyyyyyyeah…not very good, buuut I needed to update, and I wanted too. I'm seriously PMSing right now, so that's probably why it was really funny. And yes I wrote that 'song'. Not very creative -.o Meh. R&R.
