Chapter Eleven:

A Deal

Amelia could have almost burned a hole through the pages of her book she was so staring intensely at the words, as if to try and drown out the storm of thoughts that were eating away at her.

She was almost embarrassed for erupting like she did, although at the same time she knew it was well deserved. Why did she care so much anyway? Was she jealous? Or gods forbid, was she actually starting to like him? She hated to even consider it. She hated it just as much as those speckled hazel-blue eyes, and that tousled brown hair, and the way he'd grin at her like he knew something she didn't. She hated the thought of him getting to her. She hated the thought of him winning.

Amelia was starting to wonder if some of her anger was directed at herself for being so weak. It was silly to let herself care so much about what the sodding fool did in his spare time. Why was it any of her business anyway? It's not like they were in a relationship or anything, he was at least right about that.

Belinda tapped her catalogue sheets on her desk, shuffling them into a neat pile. "It's a shame you didn't come it to the shooting match yesterday, despite how much you dislike that Dorian, the boy can really shoot! I'll have to take you with me next time, his aim is simply impossible."

Amelia was in too deep of thought to hear her, or notice the intense frown forming on her face for that matter, but Belinda certainly did.

"Amelia," she said softly, "What's wrong, dear?"

Amelia snapped to attention at the sound of her name. She knew exactly what was wrong. Tears stung her eyes as it hit her like a tidal wave. She told her everything. Everything about Desmond, everything about Dorian, everything.

"I just, I mean… it's silly, right? Feeling this way about some thoughtless instance."

Belinda stroked her hair, "No, it isn't silly at all. He had no right lead you on and then go doing something like that."

She knew it was true. "He is really a jackass, isn't he?"

Belinda frowned, contemplating, "I've known Dorian since he was a little boy. He does have his good qualities, but he had no right to treat you like he did. He shouldn't have done it, but there's a chance it might not have been intentional. Often times you'll discover some men don't think as much as we'd like them to."

Amelia gave a soft chuckle, "Obviously not."

Belinda sighed wistfully, "It's a shame. It seemed like you two were really starting to enjoy each other's' company. I saw you dancing together at the festival."

"Yes, well, clearly he didn't enjoy it all that much."

"Now, dear, that's an awfully hasty conclusion to jump to. He's been pursuing you for quite some time, perhaps he just thought you weren't interested."

I wasn't interested, she thought to say, but somehow it seemed like a lie, and that was what she hated most of all. "Well excuse me for not throwing myself into his arms like every other girl in town."

"Sweetheart, I know it's not an easy thing to forgive. He really ought not to treat you like this, and if he doesn't realize that, then he isn't worth your time," she knelt down to her level, giving her an affectionate touch on the shoulder.

Amelia nodded, grateful for the gesture.

"A smart, beautiful girl like you deserves much better treatment. If he doesn't see it, he's blind."

She gave a weak smile, "Thanks, Belinda. I really appreciate it."

Belinda smiled back at her and stood up. "I'm going to run to a few errands now. You sure you're alright watching the shop for a bit?"

"Yes, that's fine."

"I hate to leave you like this, but I have to go before the bakery closes. I shouldn't be more than half an hour, we can talk some more when I get back, alright?"

Amelia nodded, "Alright."


Harriet sat on the edge of her seat. "So let me get this straight, you actually agreed to sleep with Caroline?"

"Yes, well I was going to until she got sick everywhere. It was a complete disaster, I regret it entirely."

Harriet threw her head back and laughed hysterically. "That's just… oh my, that's just rich."

Dorian on the other hand did not seem very amused.

"Well, it's certainly a humbling experience. Maybe she'll finally lay off you."

Dorian shrugged and let his hand dangle idly over the side of the fishing boat, looking solemn and puzzled.

"Jeez, someone else die in your family or something?"

Dorian gave her a look. "No, surprisingly,"

"Then what's wrong? Please don't tell me you wanted to sleep with her that badly."

He furrowed his brow as though he had difficulty deciding what next to say, "Amelia saw me with Caroline. She won't talk to me now."

"You're kidding! That's pretty rough. I hate to sound like a complete arse, but you sort of deserved it."

Her comment wasn't appreciated, but it was met with more acceptance than protest.

"So… that's the reason you're brooding?"

"I'm not brooding."

Harriet raised an eyebrow. Sure. "Contemplating deeply, then?"

"Fine."

Harriet studied him. She couldn't remember the last time he'd actually taken to heart someone's ill opinion of him. It was unsettling and must be stopped at once. "So, what are you going to do about it? Win her over with your charm?"

"I don't think charm will work this time."

"Pity, it's really all you've got."

He did not look amused. "Any other suggestions then? Since you're so clever."

"Why don't you just go apologize like any other civilized human being? Or is his majesty above that?"

He glared at her this time. "Funny. I did tell her I was sorry, but she didn't seem to want to listen."

"It doesn't hurt to try again, maybe she's cooled down by now? Isn't that what you've been doing all along? Making her upset and waiting until she cools down to talk to her again? I mean, your tactics are so shamefully predictable she's probably expecting a formal apology."

A suppressed smirk cracked its way onto Dorian's features.

"Prove to her you're at least willing to imitate a decent gentleman."


The bookshop was quiet that late afternoon. It had probably been the first time Amelia had ever experienced being there alone. There was something unsettling about the silence, it was as though Belinda had become part of the store's ambiance, part of its essence. Without her it seemed incomplete.

Amelia did not endure the silence long before it was interrupted by the ringing of the entrance bell. She glanced up from her book to meet the disrupter, expecting to find Belinda returning from her errands. She was sorely mistaken.

She made an effort to speak, but Dorian beat her to it.

"I ran into Mrs. Bagsby outside the bakery, she said you'd be here."

Brilliant, just the last person she wanted to see. Amelia glared at him intensely as he collected his words, glancing about the bookstore as if distracted by it. The place took a while to get used to.

"I've… come to apologize."

Amelia opened her mouth to say something, but he raised a hand.

"No, before you say anything, please just let me finish. You were right, about what you said yesterday."

Amelia looked at him skeptically.

Dorian scratched his head as he pondered a moment, it was obvious this wasn't something he was used to doing.

"You have every right to be angry. I'm sorry for treating you the way I have."

Amelia said nothing, keeping her eyes glued to him. There was something different about him now, it took her a moment to figure out just what it was. In this rare moment he was no longer the careless, witty, humorous man she'd grown accustomed to seeing. This time he was being serious.

"I mean, if it's any consolation, we didn't get very far before Caroline got ill. The whole thing was really quite a mess." Dorian smiled lamely.

Amelia responded with a humorless stare. So much for serious.

"Ok, forget I said that. It really doesn't make up for my recklessness. I understand that you're angry, like I said, you have every right to be."

Amelia raised an eyebrow in agreement, but still said nothing.

"At any rate, I want to make it up to you. If you won't accept that, I at least want to give you an apology."

Amelia watched him shrewdly, thinking for a moment. "So, what do you propose?"

"Well, I was actually thinking you could tell me. I hardly know what you might deem appropriate, I mean, I hardly even know you."

Amelia nodded, "Well, you could start by not being a complete dolt."

Dorian gave a laugh, "I'll certainly try, but I can't guarantee you anything. Harriet's been trying for years."

Even Amelia had to smile. It was unexpected, this whole thing, but he sounded sincere. She would at least give him credit for trying.

"I hope you know how big of an arse you are."

"I would be a fool not to notice. Amelia, I truly did not intend to hurt you like this. It's just that after all the times you've ignored me, I didn't think you'd care."

Part of her didn't want to forgive him, but another part of her thought it childish not to. Trust and forgiveness were too different things after all. She remembered what Belinda had said. He was not worth her time if he didn't realize how wrongly he'd treated her. Clearly he did. There was a part of her that hated that. Things would be so much less complicated if he didn't.

"Dorian, just try to be civil. I mean, from what you've shown me, who's to say I'm not just some other girl you want to just shag and be done with? You've certainly given me no reason to believe otherwise."

"So you're saying you want a relationship?"

"Look, Dorian, I don't know what I want from you, I don't even know if I want anything at all. I know you want something from me though, I guess I'd just really like to know what that is."

"I've already told you."

"Oh? Please remind me."

"I want you to give me another chance, just let me take you out on a date. You really think that would kill you? We hardly even know each other, Amelia."

Her eyes narrowed in on him, "So, let me get this straight, you come in here to apologize to me and expect to walk out with a date? You really are a cocky bastard."

Dorian scratched his head, smiling sheepishly, "I certainly don't deny it."

Amelia sighed and shook her head, typical. "And after all this, do you honestly expect me to trust you?"

"I most certainly don't."

"Then you should understand why I can't allow myself to date you," she said, resolute. "I'm not a fool, Dorian. I accept your apology as long as you respect my wishes."

Dorian gave a nod, "I will do so. Does this mean we're on speaking terms?"

Amelia thought for a second, "Yes, as long as you remain civil."

Dorian gave a slight smile, "I will do my best."