AN: We own nothing. Sorry for the long wait life got in the way. Tell us what you think!-Lost Verse Writing Twam
ulie parked a block away from Jax's house and used the walk to gather her thoughts and her courage. Her mama always said to get the truth out as quickly as possible, because it couldn't possibly be as bad as what the other person would be imagining and worrying about. But Julie thought she had finally found the one case where Tami Taylor was not right. She could not imagine what Jax could think of that would be worse than his mother killing his wife. That right there was Shakespearean tragedy.
The walk up to Jax's front door went much faster than she wanted, and suddenly Jax was opening the door, his smile warm and genuine. "Pixie, I wasn't expecting you back for a few days. Trip led to nothing, huh?"
She wished that she could freeze this moment in amber and keep it forever. She knew that she was about to destroy what remained of his world. She forced herself to smile, then kissed him.
"I wish I could say I'm back because I missed you. But I'm back with really bad news, Jax." She stepped past him into the house. He followed her and shut the door behind them. She knew that she didn't want him that close to the door, so she grabbed his hand and pulled him further into the living room.
"Who did it?" The question was more of a demand, and Julie could see his whole body tensing, coiling like a rattler that was fixing to strike.
"Roosevelt brought Tara back to the house. Unser's truck was out front. Tara went into the house, thinking Unser was at the house. But it was Gemma, who didn't know about your deal and thought Tara had ratted you out. Jax, I'm so sorry." Julie stepped forward and put her hands on his chest, but he turned away, his hands on his face.
"I'm going to kill her. You stay here," his voice was a guttural growl as he pushed past her. Julie grabbed his arm, and he threw his elbow back to shake her off, his momentum carrying his arm backward until it crashed it Julie's face. She tasted blood on her lip, but held on, digging her heels into the carpet.
Jax let out an exasperated sigh and turned around, grabbing Julie by her shoulders. "Can you just, this once, do what you're told? I need to go talk to Gemma."
"I don't trust you to just talk. You're going to make a terrible mistake." Julie felt tears welling up, but she blinked hard and willed them away. A small and quiet part of her understood that Jax had probably killed before, but she knew that this situation was different. The anger and vengeance would consume him, and there'd be no way back to any normal life.
"I have to go."
"What about your boys? What about Tara? Is this what she wanted? For the violence to continue forever?"
"Don't say her name to me. Not now. Just stay here." Jax's tone was an angry hiss that promised repercussions if she disobeyed. But Julie had never been able to stand idly by when something important was at stake. She rushed past him and stood in front of the door.
His smile was small and grim. "Pix, please. Don't make me hurt you."
Julie said nothing, and when Jax approached the door, she pushed him back. He came back at her angrily, and although she was scared, she did the only thing she could think of – she launched herself at him and kissed him as hard as she could while her hands fumbled at his belt. She felt him holding back for a long moment, resisting, a low, sad chuckle sounding from deep in his throat. But then she had his zipper down and her hand on his cock, and he couldn't help but respond.
He shoved her hard against the door, pinning her hard with his shoulders while his hands worked at the zipper of her pants. His kisses were edgy and angry, and she felt like she might never catch her breath. He pushed into her without warning, before she was ready for him, and the shock caused her to yelp, but he just pushed harder. But there would be no stopping him, she understood that and she wished, more than anything, that she could take away all of his pain and anger.
He set what she could only call a punishing pace but she was soon swept up in what it felt like to be with Jax. All the heat, brute strength, and fierceness she'd long missed. The way he filled up the holes in her that ached for something unsafe. His body was heavy against hers and just as she started to fear that her legs might buckle, he roughly grabbed her waist and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him, just riding the waves that he created and trying not to think too much about whether her desperation from preventing him from making a mistake had just created a different mistake in the book of her life.
She felt him finish with a shudder and they both sunk slowly to the ground, collapsing into a tangled heap against the bottom of the door. He untangled himself and edged into the corner, sitting with his back against the wall and his elbows on his knees, his forehead resting on his arms as he breathed heavily. Julie slid next to him, sat up, and gently touched his shoulder.
He shook his head and turned away. His shoulders shook, and she put her arms around him, refusing to let him slip away. She only relaxed when he finally relented and leaned into her. She didn't know if his shaking was from anger, exertion, or tears, and she didn't want to know. She breathed him in: leather, cinnamon gum and pot smoke.
She lost track of how long they spent on the floor, not talking, but she eventually began to fear that Abel might find them there. She stood up and pulled him into the bedroom, keeping the lights off so they didn't have to face each other. He climbed wordless into bed and fell asleep almost immediately.
Julie was sore and exhausted but unable to quiet her mind enough to sleep. She knew that he wss angry and hurt and just trying to bury it all in her. She let him because the anger felt like passion, and her desperation felt like love. In this moment, the fact the world was falling a part didn't matter because being with him felt good and right. She was no longer the little girl afraid of being in love with Jax Teller anymore. She knew she could handle whatever came next, but she didn't think that staying in Charming should be part of those plans.
She stared at the ceiling and tried to figure out how to save Jax from this life.
