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"I'm Jerry 'the King' Lawler and this is Jim Ross, and welcome to Monday Night Raw." I decided to watch the broadcast so I could see what the low-down was.
The titantron went to a scene with DX and Andrew, welcoming him into their clique. The crowd went crazy. Then they started scheming of things to do to Coach. Then the shot went to when I entered the room, they played our improvised scene, before fading to black.
"It seems Raw has some Visitors" JR said.
"Yep, did you see the puppies on Helen Tarnation though?" King added.
"I wonder why DX wanted Andrew and Helen tonight?"
"DX one night only, I wonder what Mr McMahon thinks about this." King added.
Shawn waved his hand in front of my face, getting my attention.
"Sorry I was getting into this" I said, fumbling on some of my words.
"We've gotta go do some skits now though, come on Elle Girl" He offered me his hand, and I took it. Shawn let go of my hand and signalled that there was a camera outside. I nodded letting him know I understood. Andy bounded out the door, followed by Paul, then Shawn, then a very reluctant me. I stopped and leaned against a wall outside their locker room not moving. The camera was positioned in the doorframe to get me leaning and DX walking off, the camera gy spun the viewer around so I could see Paul walking back towards me.
"What did I tell you before" was all he said, before hoisting me over one of his shoulders. "Hey Elle Girl" Paul whispered so I knew he was talking to me, not eh audience. "My stage name is Triple H, remember." I said the first thing I could to let him know I'd heard him.
"You'd better not fart on me H" I smiled as he repositioned me on his shoulder. Next thing I knew I was put down. That's the second time in two days I had been carried like that.
"Camera's gone for now, they're meeting us at Hardy's locker room, so you can walk between now and there" I nodded. As we walked Paul protectively put his arm over my shoulder. We passed Randy Orton and some guy who was wearing denim shorts and Nikes.
"You never said you were with Paul" Randy shouted, getting my attention.
"Did I need to?"
"Yes. Paul is royalty."
"Does that mean I'm a royal rat?" I asked, mocking him. Paul was getting angry, I gelt his arm tense.
"Orton you called her a ring rat?"
"I didn't know Paul. I just thought"
"No Orton, you didn't think. You never talk about Hellover here like that again." So that's the new nickname, I like it, but I'll ask him about it later.
"Hellover? That's you name?"
"Not to you it aint" I replied, Aussie accent twice as strong as usual.
"Then what is it?"
"That's not important right now." I said, waving him off.
"Hey, you're Helen Tarnation right?" The other guy said, surprising Orton.
"Yea"
"I'm John, John Cena"
"Nice to meet you John." Randy was dumbfounded, he kept looking between Cena and myself.
"John dude, how do you know her?"
"He's my FB" I replied, to stir the shit in Randy's head just a little more. Unfortunately they all looked at me like I was insane, luckily John played along all the same.
"Told you earlier Orton, you don't know everything about me" Paul just started laughing and we walked off leaving Randy and John to argue.
"Yea, but how come you know her name?" We heard Randy whine. He is such a baby.
"So Hellover huh?"
"Yes, like a hangover but more you"
"I like it."
"So, what's a FB?" I blushed, not really wanting to tell him…stalling stalling.
"What's a ring rat?"
"I don't think it's an appropriate conversation."
"You tell me what a ring rat is, and I'll tell you what a FB is ok?" Paul sighed, I was hoping he'd drop it, I really don't wanna explain what an FB is.
"Ok, a ring rat is a woman who sleeps or at least tries to sleep with wrestlers."
"So a slut basically"
"Yea, but only for wrestlers, if that makes sense."
"Why only wrestlers?"
"Because the stupid ones can write about it on the Internet, and the smart ones use it against wrestlers for money, or whatever they want really."
"Cleaver bastards"
"Exactly. Now what is a FB?" Crap he still wants to know.
"Fuck buddy" I said barely above a whisper.
"A what?"
"A fuck buddy, friend with benefits, that type of thing" Shit that was embarrassing.
"Oh" Paul's cheeks were red, clearly it embarrassed him too.
"I did say don't worry abou tit."
"You know you'd make a pretty decent addition to DX"
"Too bad it's a one time thing." I said, which brought down his spirits a bit. "Sorry Paul"
"It's ok, now get your ass on my shoulder Hellover, I see camera." Paul picked me up and put me back on his shoulder, as we turned the corner I squirmed, hitting and kicking anything in reach. He put me down, and in character I glared at him. He just smiled.
"Right H, you got that?" Shawn asked.
"What no, I had to deal with the demon child here" I smiled innocently.
"Just stick to the plan. And Helen, stay the hell out of the way." Andy said.
"Hell's my business" I replied coldly.
"Whatever, just don't do anything" Shawn said to me. I rolled my eyes, but inside I was hoping whatever they were doing to Jeff wasn't too bad, hopefully just funny. They knocked on the door, as if to see if anyone was in there, but really they were giving Jeff his cue, I just don't know what for. After receiving no answer they snuck into Jeff's room. We all heard the water running and Paul pointed to the shower. Shawn took Jeff's clothes that were sitting on the bench closest to the shower and passed them to And, he took them and Jeff's bag and left, Shawn and Paul sprayed 'DX' on the wall in green. Shawn pointed to me, then the shower…he wasn't…he wouldn't…they would.
"Go tell Hardy his clothes are missing" Paul not so quietly whispered to me. Shawn and Paul pushed me into the shower area. I screamed as I was flung into the stall. Luckily for me, or unluckily, however you see it, Jeff had on some nutt-huggers. Him clearly in on the whole skit, he grabbed the ONLY towel there and put it around him, and gave me a sympathetic look. Then he gabbed my arm and walked into view of the camera.
"What the hell is your problem?! You just run in on superstars in the shower?" He yelled at me.
"I…I…it…it wasn't me" I stammered. Jeff looked at the DX jersey that clung to my frame.
"DX?" I nodded, and pointed to where Shawn and Paul were smirking at us, standing under the large green DX on the wall. "Very nice. Bringing a chick into your shenanigans, are you done with them now?" Jeff asked, reaching for his now misplaced bag.
"No, I think we will shenan-again" Paul said, as he and Shawn laughed, and left.
"Great, no clothes, what else can go wrong?" Jeff said bitterly. He then turned his attention to me, and we shared a long gaze into each others eyes.
"I can try and get your stuff back if you like" I whispered, before the camera guy yelled cut.
