Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all of it's characters are property of the brilliant Takahashi-sama and I claim no ownership of them. Only the story belongs to me.
Summary: So much can change in an instant. There is nothing that can prepare you for it. One minute everything is perfectly fine and the next? In the next you are transported to an endless nothingness, pulling from the depth of your soul a relentless fear that can never truly be described. (from chapter 2)
Special thanks to my betas PockyThief, Kiyota and Ethereal Siren.
Chapter 11
I was finally home and basking in the warmth that my friends, and being near them, offered. My life before the void picked right back up where it had left off, at least at first. Sesshoumaru had left not long after destroying the cursed arm without a single word or glance in my direction. He held true to his word, things went back to the way they were before. Once again we were nothing more than a best friend's half brother and a half brother's companion to each other.
I was too busy being glad to be with my friends again to spend any time dwelling on it and for a while, it was working out. I couldn't miss what my mind gave me no time to think about. My friends gave me not a moment's peace and my thoughts were always filled with them. I was happy and I was content. I was home. Everything I had been wishing for while in the void was returned to me and all seemed right in my world.
The others accepted my shallow explanation about what happened while in the void, giving them only the basics. Trapped without any light, feeling the presence of the shard and making our way toward it. Never mentioning the key to being able to move closer to the shard or the nights that followed. I spoke of Sesshoumaru as little as humanly possible and the others just chalked it up to me being trapped there with the cold, emotionless bastard we all knew him to be.
I didn't see fit to correct them, they weren't wrong even if they weren't right. What had happened within the void did not matter anymore and would only cause problems if it came to light. I did not know if Inuyasha could forgive me for what I did with one of his greatest enemies and had no desire to find out. Knowing Sesshoumaru would never speak of what had happened, I did not worry about the truth coming to light one day.
I couldn't imagine it would be known so soon. In less than two months really. After a few days rest we had began traveling back toward Kaede's village, everyone needing a real break and me wanting to go visit my family. Inuyasha, of course, had insisted on going with me, not wanting to be separated from me again. I'm sure if the others could use the well, they would gone too. He had picked me up in his strong arms and jumped into the well the morning after we arrived at the village.
The bright, blue light surrounded us and I closed my eyes as I felt the magic flow over our bodies. Opening my eyes once the magic had died down, I glanced up to see the old, wooden roof of the well house, but instead I saw clear, blue sky. Confused I had glanced behind me to where Inuyasha should have been standing with me in his arms, but instead found nothing behind me and I was in fact on the dirt floor.
Unsure of what else to do, I merely sat there on the well floor for a few minutes and was once again surrounded by the blue magic. When it had died down I was staring into the confused golden eyes of Inuyasha and could only shrug to his unasked question. What was there to say? How could I answer? It was obvious the well still worked, Inuyasha had gone back and forth with no problem, it simply didn't work for me. I had glanced down to make sure the shards were still around my neck, not that it would have mattered, I merely need them to come back into this time not to go home, but sure enough they were still where I had left them.
We sat up that night discussing what could be the cause and the best we came up with was left over magic from the void was counteracting with the magic from the well. All that needed to be done, was simply wait for the magic to disappear completely and I should be able to go back through. And so we waited, checking day after day with the same result. I remained in this time, the well refused to work for me.
Just as I was beginning to think that perhaps we were wrong in our guess, it was confirmed. Of all the things for the void to cause and all the reasons for the well not to let me through, it just had to be this one. The one thing that would inform my friends that I was not completely honest about what had happened in the void, the one thing to bring our relationship to light. Almost two months to the day we first tried to go back through the well, I was awoken early in the morning with the overwhelming urge to lose my dinner from the night before.
Worried I was getting sick from the stress of not being able to go home, Inuyasha had insisted Kaede examine me. The truth of the matter gave me even more of a reason to be stressed, I was pregnant. It wasn't hard for me to figure out who the father was, there was only one option. Unfortunately, it wasn't hard for the others to figure it out as well. They had not left my side since I returned from the void and I wasn't far enough along for it to have happened before the void.
I'll never forget the look in Inuyasha's eyes when he realized the child growing in my womb was in fact his niece or nephew. He had walked out of the hut then and there without a word or glance back in my direction and I couldn't prevent the tears that had been threatening to fall. As Sango wrapped me in her arms and whispered reassurances into my ear, my thoughts turned to another dog demon and what his reaction to the news would be.
I decided, right then and there, whether or not I would tell him about the child. I knew that my decision might have been the wrong one, but truthfully, the other would have been just as wrong. Neither option was really much of one and so I just decided to go with what would cause me the least problems. Selfish perhaps, but then again, the other option would have been just as selfish.
Flashback
Inuyasha returned after three days surprising us while we were sitting down to eat dinner. "Kagome," he called out from the doorway before walking back out into the darkening sky. I glanced around at the others before shrugging and following after him. It wasn't hard to figure out where he was heading, even if it was rather dark out, there was only one place he would head to when he needed to think.
Sure enough, I found him waiting for me at the bottom of the God Tree. Taking a deep breath, and stealing myself for the screaming match I was sure was to come, I walked up to him and waited for him to start yelling at me. Instead, without a word, he wrapped his arms around me and leaped into the tree. He sat down on one of the higher branches, pulling me tight against his chest, and I could hear his deep breathing next to my ear, feel his body tense and begin to relax.
"What happened Kagome? And I want the whole truth this time. Tell me everything," he demanded as he rested his chin on my shoulder and pulled me closer to him, if it was possible. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and began recounting everything that had happened in the void. From the moment I had awoken in the darkness to the void messing with my mind. Feeling the shard and days of traveling without getting any closer to it. I told him about us finally giving in to the void's demands, without going into any details of course.
I told him about being able to get closer to the shard the next day and realizing that it had been the void's plan all along. About our deal to go back to the way things were once we were outside of the void and the nights that followed. I told him everything I could remember, things I had never wanted to speak out loud and by the end I was crying uncontrollably and apologizing repeatedly. For a long time after I had finished speaking, Inuyasha remained silent, making my worry grow larger by the moment.
But still he did not speak, merely held me to him and rocked slightly, a gesture to comfort him or me, I'm not entirely sure. Just when I thought I would lose what was left of my sanity to the silence, he began speaking softly. "What happens now?" he questioned, his tone clearly voicing how hurt he was. I had heard the tone before, but I never imagined it would have been aimed at me.
"I don't know. I have no idea what I am supposed to do next or how someone in my position would proceed. The only thing I do know is my mother should know. Maybe not all the details, but she should know that she's going to be a grandmother. If you wouldn't mind taking it over, I can write her a note explaining things so you won't have to deal with that.
"I'll be giving her a list of things I will need so you'll have to hang around long enough to bring them back, but I will make sure she doesn't bug you for information. I realize I'm not your favorite person at the moment and I wouldn't blame you for a single moment if you wanted to wipe your hands clean of me after this, but I ask you do this last thing for me, no not for me, for my mother. She doesn't deserve to go another half of a year not knowing what's happened to her daughter, no matter how much you might hate me."
"I don't hate you, Kagome. I have not always been at my best, but you have always been by my side through the good and the bad. What kind of a friend would I be, if I wasn't there for you too? Get the letter ready tomorrow and I'll take as soon as your done. Tonight, let's just stay here. Just let me hold you," he pleaded and I felt myself nodding before giving it any thought. I couldn't help but sigh in relief as I leaned back against him and allowed his warmth to comfort me.
He became silent once again, but I knew he was still awake, still thinking. I could hear and feel his breathing against my ear and his arms occasionally tighten around my waist. I glanced through the tree branches to see the stars twinkling away in the night sky. The very same stars I had seen night after night since I first began traveling through the well. Stars that saw everything that happened beneath the night sky, but remained unchanged by it.
Remained unmoved by the joys or pains endured by the earth's inhabitants after dusk. Stars that no more cared about what I was currently going through than they would if I was a living Buddha or a mass murderer. Tiny balls of gas burning billions upon billions of miles away, twinkling away as if they didn't have a care in the world. Never minding the earth shaking changes in my life, what would become of me now or how I was ever going to make it through this. None of it matter to those millions of stars, it never did.
"Are you going to tell him?" Inuyasha inquired, shattering the silence and bringing my attention back to earth. It took me a moment to figure out who and what he was talking about. Without even thinking, I shook my head silently as I closed my eyes. He seemed about to question my answer before sighing and falling silent once again, apparently accepting my answer.
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