AN: YES, that's Derek Freaking Wills watching and waiting…

As always thanks so much for reading and reviewing. Enjoy the newest chapter of Risk!

Chapter Eleven – Grin and Bear it

Karen had been caught in a moment of complete and utter shock. She couldn't figure out what he was doing there. Why they hell was he sat at that table with Jimmy and Kyle? How did they know each other? Why did she not know they were familiar?

She couldn't keep looking directly at him, for one Jimmy would question her actions later. Also, his eyes were making her nervous and she really couldn't afford to fuck this up right now. She mentally berated herself and managed to regain some composure, inside though she was a furious ball of energy about to explode with fear and misunderstanding.

When he addressed her formally everything dramatically fell into place in her mind, like when she waited tables at the café and took one too many plate and lost balance and they all went clattering down – shattering into indistinct pieces. All she could think was "NO FUCKING WAY!" She imagined the look on her face was much like an overly animated cartoon character with its eyes bulging out of its head.

He was Derek Wills. The Derek Wills. The guy Kyle had obsessed over for like ever.

It wasn't a giant leap to put together that any guy she met in Table 46 would be involved in some capacity in theatre. Most of the souls who haunted that bar were someway entangled with the Great White Way. But how could she have royally fucked things up so badly and not have even known about? It was beyond her.

She just hoped he continued to pretend like they'd never laid eyes on each other before. All Karen needed was to get through this audition. She could deal with the fallout later. She just needed to sing and escape, she could grin and bear it and get through the moment.

With that she avoided answering his question on her song choice, not trusting her own voice to speak directly to him, and instead nodded to pianist to start playing. And she sang.

She'd picked Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. It was a song she thought resonated with the character Amanda. The girl was desperate to be someone else, but in the story when she finally gets there she realises she was happier being herself. It's hard to be someone else, keep up the façade forever. Life means a lot more when you are brave enough to just be who you are. Karen felt it fitted with Amanda's journey in a way.

Nobody spoke after she ended the final note. The room was silent. Karen hated this moment in auditions, when all eyes were on her, just as herself. She wasn't playing a part right now; she just wanted to show the casting group the parts of Amanda she had within her ready to pull forward.

To end the silence Jimmy clapped lightly and Kyle joined in. Derek was still just staring at her and it was making her freak out a little bit. Finally Eileen Rand, the producer of the Kyle and Jimmy's show, spoke up. "Thanks Karen, that was great. Thank you for coming in at such late notice. We'll be in touch," Eileen said. Karen took that as her cue to leave the room. She retrieved her music from the pianist and muttered thanks as she left the room.

The door swung shut behind her and she grabbed her stuff from where she'd left it on a chair in the hallway. She was walking towards the elevator when she heard Jimmy shout her name. There were two girls still sat in the seats that lined the narrow passage way and they stared at the exchange between Jimmy and Karen. He jogged to meet her and after noticing that they were being watched, he grabbed her hand and dragged her into an empty room opposite them.

"Jimmy what, what's wrong?" Karen was confused by his actions and terrified Derek had said something when she left the room. The door closed loudly behind them and as Karen turned to face her best friend suddenly he swooped down and grabbed her into a tight hug.

Karen didn't know what was wrong with her but the moment Jimmy's arms enclosed her smaller frame she felt tears running down her face. She almost never cried, and she especially hated crying in front of anyone. It was embarrassing her right now more than usual because she didn't even know why the tears were streaming down her cheeks.

She put it down to the mixture of nerves and the intense performance and the fear of disappointing Jimmy and Kyle, then on top of that seeing Derek again. She'd resigned herself that she would never see that man again and it had thrown her through a loop to find him sat so comfortably behind that desk. The moment of sheer relief when Jimmy pulled her aside just made her crack. She furiously wiped away her tears when he released her. Jimmy always knew what she needed and almost how she was feeling even before she did.

"You were amazing. But you looked terrified. I thought I'd check you were okay Chip," Jimmy said gently, passing her a tissue from his back pocket.

"I don't know why I was so nervous. It was probably just the immediacy, I didn't really have time to process I was walking into a proper audition and seeing you and Kyle, I didn't want to let you down," Karen mumbled, she'd managed to pull herself together again as quickly as she'd fallen apart.

"You're an idiot sometimes, you were extraordinary. They loved you I know it," Jimmy said softly to her. "Derek couldn't take his eyes of you," Jimmy added the sentence in passing but there was an edge to his voice she didn't like and desperately needed to change the subject.

"Shouldn't you get back in there, I don't want them to think I'm this high maintenance," Karen laughed.

"Shit, yeah I better go. I'll come over later tonight, it might be quite late though before I get out of here," Jimmy hugged her again and Karen nodded and said she'd see him tonight.

With that he bolted out the door again, jogging back to the studio he should have been in. Karen avoided looking towards the other girls in the corridor as the turned for the elevator, pressing the button multiple times in a vain attempt to make the thing speed up. A chime of a bell announced the elevator's arrival and Karen pushed through the doors. When they slid shut she leaned back against the mirror behind her and took a deep breath.

Derek Wills, she'd got drunk and made out with Dereck freaking Wills of all people. She was dead; Kyle was actually going to kill her if he found out. How could she even contemplate working with him for a twelve week workshop and longer when she couldn't stop thinking about his hand on her spine and in her hair and the taste of his kiss?

She was so dead.


By the time Jimmy came over to Karen and Ana's apartment that night Karen had managed to calm down and pull herself together. She was now just frustrated with herself for having a ridiculous breakdown earlier in the day. She could handle this; she just needed a few hours to re-teach herself the laws of perspective. She'd landed on the most obvious solution to her current predicament – do nothing. The likelihood of the creative team calling her back in, and then even if that happened, actually offering her the role were slim to non-existent. All she had to do was get a grip and sit back and let life sort itself out for her.

There was a high probability she'd never have to face Derek Wills again. And if she did, as he was involved in her best friends work so closely, she'd have plenty of time to mentally prepare and wouldn't be caught off guard again like today.

Jimmy let himself in with the spare key Karen and Ana had given to him not long after Karen moved in. "Honey I'm home," he announced, shutting the door behind him.

"That's nice honey, but Ana isn't yet," Karen called to him, chuckling from her position on the couch. She took a swig of the beer she'd been nursing for the last hour, while she'd been contemplating the impending disaster that was her life – okay a bit melodramatic but she was wallowing.

"Huh, I thought she was heading straight home today," Jimmy paused, texting Ana from his iPhone to see where she had gotten to, while also hopping around pulling his shoes off without bothering to untie the laces. "How are you now anyway?" he asked, shoving his phone back in his pocket and heading straight to the kitchen area to help himself to a beer from the fridge. He popped the cap with the bottle opener magnet the girls kept on the fridge door before slumping down next to Karen on the couch.

"I'm good now, thanks for before, now let's never mention how much of a pathetic drama queen I was ever again…to anyone," Karen replied in a tone that said yes, I'm-brushing-this-off-as-a-joke-but-seriously-I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it. She also gave Jimmy a threatening stare warning him off the subject. "So can you put me out of my misery early, did they make a decision?" Karen asked, changing the subject.

"I can't tell you anything at the moment other than its still in deliberation, and even if I did know what Derek was thinking, it would all be under wraps you know that," Jimmy replied.

"I know," Karen said in a sing-song voice. "But you can't blame a girl for trying. Seriously, when do the perks of having an 'in' with the creative team start kicking in?" Karen laughed.

"Oh, I can tell you that we aren't casting for the role of Jesse tomorrow now," Jimmy said as he leant over her to steal the remote control to change station from the horrendous TV show Karen had been watching; some awful faux-reality drama about a bunch of posh rich kids in some town near London, England.

"What, how come?" Karen asked, as she gently punched her friend in the shoulder for changing station, even though she'd only been half watching the television any way. Jimmy explained to her that after they'd seen all the girls audition that afternoon Derek had decided he definitely wanted to cast the role of Amanda first and use the chosen girl to find their Jesse. He said the chemistry was vital, so they would read with potential male choices. They had a much shorter list of potential actors for Jesse than they had for Amanda anyway. He also told her that Derek wanted the whole team to sleep on the shortlist they had drawn up that afternoon and tomorrow they would be arranging callbacks.

"So at least you haven't got such a long wait to hear the almighty director's decision on your fate. Thank god for that though, because Ana will be pestering me for details until she knows the outcome for sure!" Jimmy said as her phone began to buzz. He pulled it from the pocket of his jeans, glancing briefly at the caller ID before answering.

"Hey love, where have you gotten to?" he asked Ana who was on the other end of the line.

"Tell her to hurry home and to bring comfort food," Karen shouted as she got up from the couch, depositing her empty beer bottle on the side and beginning to clear the dished from the sink so she could at least do the washing up before Ana got in.

They'd both been crazy busy, with Karen in rehearsals every day for AGT and performing live all the weekend just passed; and Ana working double shifts at Frankie's having taken on most of Karen's while she was out of action, and auditioning for a few roles that her agent had put through to her. As a result, they'd become rather messy and slobbish. Whenever either girl was home they preferred to lounge in sweat pants not scrub the kitchen.

But as Karen had snuck out early from AGT practice today, she didn't have a very good excuse for not having a quick clean round. She did the dishes while running through one of the routines in her head she'd been having a bit of trouble with early that day. She flicked the radio on with wet hands, which made Jimmy flinch when he caught her in the corner of his eye.

The first weekend of live performances had been a thrill; she loved every minute on stage even if it was a completely different vibe to being in the theatre. It had taken Karen a little while to get used to the camera marks on the stage and playing up to the lens. Her only film experience was a couple of TV ads and music videos, but live TV was something else. It was great fun though, and even better exposure for her. She'd needed something current on her CV; it was starting to look downright depressing before she'd landed this gig.

This weekend marked the second lot of live performances and would then leave her with just two more weekends of performances. The cross over with Jimmy's show's workshop would be roughly a week and a half, if they went ahead and completed initial casting by the end of the week like he said they planned to. That work load would not be enjoyable, but she could handle it someway.

Karen had to jolt herself back into reality and remind herself it was unlikely to matter either way – Derek wouldn't want to work with her now. Unless, maybe he did want a chance to see her again like she had him. God, what if that's what got her a call back, the fact the director wanted a go at round two.

"Karen," Jimmy's voice shocked the young brunette, she'd been so stuck in her own head she hadn't even realised he'd finished his phone call. The glass she'd been holding just on the edge of the sink for the last few minutes dropped from her hand as her body twitch in shock. Her fingers were slippery with soap and she couldn't catch it in time. The glass shattered around Karen's bare feet upon impact with the floor.

"Shit, fucking hell," she cried out, tiptoeing away from the mess trying to avoid getting any glass in her toes.

"Alright in there butter fingers," Jimmy called as he popped his head around the wall to see what had happened.

"Yes, fine, just being a klutz. When is Ana home?" Karen said over her shoulder as she searched in the cupboard to her left for a dustpan and brush.

"On her way, she said to tell you she had ice cream," Jimmy winked at her.

"Oh thank the lord," Karen said in a poor southern accent throwing the cloth she'd been holding at Jimmy's head. He ducked back behind the wall for cover and she missed him, but she could hear his chuckling as he walked away from the lounge towards to back of the flat and she assumed Ana's room.

The rest of the evening was filled by Ana and Karen trying to pull details from Jimmy about their auditions and chances of making the cut, but he was having none of it. Eventually Ana and Jimmy called it a night and Karen followed suit shortly after. She had rehearsal early the next day at AGT studios, and if hopefully it would be followed by that preciously awaited phone call.

She missed Kyle being there. He kept the balance in the group, especially when Awn and Jimmy were being too cosy and gropey – which was often. But the New York local had skulked off somewhere after work with a vague, "Sorry I'm busy tonight," when Karen had asked his plans. She would pin him down and grill him about that one later though. At the time she'd just wanted to get home.

As she lay in bed, thoughts of a certain someone plagued her thoughts once more, only this time she found herself kind of hoping she would get to see that looming, contemplative smile again soon, in person and not just in her dreams.

There was no avoiding it… Derek Wills intrigued her.


AN: Thanks for reading guys! So what are we thinking will Ana, Karen or someone else get the part? More to come soon… xx Sparks