We may shine, we may shatter We may be pickin' up the pieces here on after We are fragile, we are human We are shaped by the light we let through us But we break fast 'cause we are glass 'Cause we are glass
~ "Glass" Thompson Square
The morning sun slipped over the upper edge of the skyline illuminating the building tops in a glorious conflagration of flame. It appeared the entire horizon was on fire. He found it fitting that this mornings rise reflected so well how he felt mind, body and soul.
His mind burned from the shards of a forbidden bond, that he had never realized had formed, having broken with a sudden finality. To focus on the pain of that caused his body to prickle and burn with pent up and ignored passion for the deceased.
But his soul is where it burned the worse was the saber score through his soul. He'd never realized how much Tahl had managed to entangle herself with him. But now that she was gone he regretted not having actually acted on his many fantasies about his dearest friend.
The fire of his pain would eventually dim and fade, but not before the effects were felt by others.
Obi-wan had promised himself a long time ago not to make the same mistakes that Qui-gon had. He had seen how much Tahl's death had tron the man up. But he found that on more than one occasion he had slipped and fallen for another.
He had reluctantly returned to his duties after the stint on Mandalore. He had grown to love Satine but the echo of words from his very first love had tempered his resolve. Oh not that he was a traitor to the order and had cast a bad light on all padawans at the time but more the ones that helped him to decided that he would strictly adhere to the code and follow the council's wishes. "I'll never forgive you."
Then, when she was laying there in his arms life seeping away on his tunics, he could see in her eyes that she had. Also that she had not stopped loving him, it was this love that held him at bay now. From committing to that final blow, he just couldn't reconcile himself to the monster that lay in the ashes right now. His love allowed him to hold onto the hope that he could be redeemed. But like all things that caused a conflict to the code, he buried his belief under solid facts. He turned his back on Anakin knowing two things for certain: that the man he knew was already dead and sure as darkness had fallen Palpatine would be coming for his student.
He reluctantly turned away from the ruined from of his brother, pulling in the light of his presence tightly so as to make good an escape from the darkness.
Vader knew if his old mentor could see him now he'd have an ironic smirk on his face. It would break into an all out grin for the one person who would never meditate now did so several times a day. It wasn't to find any of the ever elusive serenity that Obi-wan always had. No it was to remind him of what he lost. To fuel his anger and resentment toward everyone and everything around him. For if he didn't he found himself falling into grim acceptance that he was manipulated and lied to by the one person he trusted above all others, his current master. And so his little light continues to flicker and wait in the darkness of the storm that swirled around it.
