Chapter 11
Daryl sighed as he slid into the pickup for the first time since the accident. There had been some cosmetic damage to the front and a cracked radiator, but the truck was good as new now, and he couldn't help but feel a little better as he pulled out onto the road. At least something felt familiar now.
He hadn't spoken to Carol for a few days, and it was starting to wear on him. He'd met her for breakfast that next morning as they'd planned, but he'd said nothing about the letter he'd found. He didn't know what to say or what to do with it, so for the time being, it was sitting in the table drawer by his couch at home. He'd felt something, something like a memory that day she'd brought him the ring. They weren't specific, but the way she'd touched his face, the way she'd looked at him, he'd felt something like déjà vu, he'd felt something growing in his heart, something that was just tapping at the glass, trying to break through.
He couldn't stop thinking about it. The memory of a scent, of a feeling. He'd woken up hard in the middle of the night, thinking of her, thinking of how he could remember a feeling, something intimate, something erotic. And he couldn't piece it together. Some things were trying to come back, he was sure of it, or else it was just his head playing games with him, his guilt trying to smooth over the six-month void that he was desperately trying to fill.
He didn't get too far down the road before his cell phone buzzed on the seat beside him. He pulled over to park at the side of the road and grabbed for his phone. On the screen was a message from Carol. He quickly read through it. It was an address.
2321 W. Harbor Street.
Doctor's appointment. If you want to come, it's in thirty minutes.
He felt a rush of relief, followed by a rush of panic. He honestly didn't know what the hell to do or what she expected. Sure, she'd told him he could be as involved as he wanted to be, and he wanted to be involved, but he found himself in a sudden cold sweat as his mind raced years into the future. What could he offer a child? What kind of father could he be to this child when he couldn't even remember meeting its mother?
Still, he decided to put his anxieties behind him and be there for her, because it was the least he could do. He wanted to be there, wanted her to know that he would be there, no matter what. They had survived this wreck together, and they were clearly both still here for a reason. And now there was a baby involved. It couldn't all be for nothing.
He pulled back out onto the road and headed toward the address Carol had given him. He wasn't far, so it didn't take him long, and he pulled up right next to her car in the parking lot. She looked up at him in surprise when she saw him.
"That was fast," she said with a pleased smile.
"The garage that had my truck was close. Thanks for letting me know about this," he said quietly. Carol nodded then. "You feelin' ok?"
"I feel ok. I'm a little nauseated, but I'm not hurting from the crash or anything. Are…are you ok?" He gave her a little nod, and when he saw her smile brighten, he wanted to tell her of these little glimpses he'd been getting. He wanted to give her some hope that maybe it was all coming back. But he didn't want to speak too soon. He didn't want to get her hopes up and then leave her devastated if the rest of it didn't come back. So he stayed quiet. "Daryl?"
"Hmm?"
"Aren't you…aren't you even wondering about…I mean, you have every right to ask about the baby. I mean, for all you know, I could be some crazy woman who trapped you into…"
"I know that ain't you," he said quickly. She cocked her head to the side and slid her sunglasses off. "I mean, you don't seem like…shit, I don't know how to do this." Carol got out of her car and moved to his truck, propping her elbows on the edge of the window.
"Neither do I. I'm just…I told you the baby's yours, and you don't even question it?" Daryl took a breath, pondering her words for a moment.
"Why would I?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. "Are you lyin'?"
"Well, no," he replied.
"You weren't even plannin' on tellin' me about us to begin with. I knew 'bout the baby 'fore I knew about us. Now, you're sayin' I don't have to be involved. You're givin' me an out." He leaned closer to her. "I don't want an out. I'm in this. I'm all in this." He saw the relief flood her face, and he put his hand over hers. "You ready for this?"
"No," she admitted. "I'm terrified. I had a baby almost six years ago, and it was terrifying then. Now? I mean, I didn't ever plan on having more kids. Now I have the option, because I know that I can give this baby a stable home. I'm just…I don't know how to do this."
"Well, you ain't gonna do it alone. I'll help you. I mean, we can work out a schedule."
"Daryl, you're so busy. You've got your work. Once you get back to it, you'll be at the hospital more often than not."
"I can cut my hours back. I can, Carol." He saw the doubt in her eyes again, and he gave her hand a squeeze.
"We're gonna make this work. We will. This baby's gonna be taken care of, and it's gonna have both its mama and it's daddy." He cleared his throat and pulled his hand away. "We best get inside. Gotta make sure the baby's heart rate's good, make sure he's healthy. Make sure you're healthy."
"I'm kind of relieved," she said with a chuckle. "Now when I freak out about something, I can just ask you, because you're a doctor."
"I haven't done OBGYN rounds in years, but I still remember a thing or two," he said with a chuckle. He got out of the truck and reached for her hand, as if he'd been holding hands with her forever, and it was just as natural as breathing. Carol curled her fingers around his, and she flinched a little, taken aback by the act, but she didn't let go, and neither did he. He was scared to death, but he gave her hand a squeeze, letting her know he was there. They could do this. It was going to be alright.
...
"Mr. Dixon? We're ready for you now," the doctor said with a warm smile as she stepped out of the exam room and into the hallway. Carol had explained that she wanted Daryl to be in there for the ultrasound, but they'd both agreed it would probably be best for him to wait outside for the physical exam.
"Dr. Dixon," he said quickly, a knee-jerk reaction he'd had since he was a medical school graduate.
"Pardon?"
"Uh…I'm a doctor. Over at Grady Memorial."
"Oh, that right?" she asked with a beaming smile. "I did my internship there. I'm Andrea Harrison."
"Harrison. Yeah, I heard of you. You're good."
"I'm the best," she chuckled. "Not bragging, just telling it like it is. I did a fellowship in fetal surgery and have helped bring babies born at less than a pound into the world and watched them thrive."
"You don't think this baby's in danger?" he asked, heart thundering in his chest at the prospect of Carol having any complications.
"No, not at all. Let's go have a look. That's one anxious mama we have in there." Daryl smirked a little.
"Don't know who's more anxious. Me or her." They stepped inside, and Carol's face lit up when she saw him. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, not sure of what to do or where to sit, but Andrea pointed out a stool on the opposite side of the table from where she sat, and he took a seat.
"So, I take it this was a surprise?" the doctor asked with a pleasant smile as she fidgeted with the computer.
"Um, you could say that," Carol said with a chuckle.
"How long have you two been together?" Carol glanced at Daryl, and she swallowed hard. He saw the anxiety cross her face again, before he opened his mouth to speak up.
"Goin' on six months," he offered. He glanced at Carol, and she mouthed a silent thank you. It was already enough that she had this unplanned pregnancy to deal with on top of dealing with his memory loss. He was pretty sure the last thing she needed was to stress herself out trying to explain this complicated relationship, as one-sided as it seemed to be these days. He felt even more guilty at the thought of it.
"You said you think you're ten weeks?"
"Um, that's what they said at the hospital. So closer to twelve, maybe?"
"Alright, let's take a look," Andrea said with a warm smile. Carol's lower half was covered by a thin blanket, and she raised her shirt above her stomach to reveal the swell of her stomach. Daryl's gaze immediately flew to the small freckle just above her belly button. In that moment, he could hear her giggling as he kissed her there, tasting her skin and circling his tongue around her navel.
"Daryl? You ok?" she whispered, as Andrea squeezed some room-temperature gel onto her stomach. She flinched at the feeling but kept her eyes trained on him.
"Yeah," he said with a nervous smile. "Just fine. You, um, you need anything?"
"Can you hold my hand?" she asked, gaze softening as she rested her head back against the mat on the table. He nodded then, reaching for her, curling his fingers around hers. It wasn't long before a very distinct whooshing sound filled the room. Carol bit back a smile as Andrea turned the monitor for her to see.
"That's a very healthy heartbeat," she assured her. "And the baby looks great. I'd say twelve, maybe thirteen weeks." Carol let out a breath of relief and swallowed back her fears.
"Everything's ok? You don't think the accident hurt anything?"
"You've got an active little guy…or girl in there," Andrea said with a chuckle. "And before you ask, it's a little too early to determine gender. But this one's kicking away."
"Oh my God," Carol murmured, staring at the screen. "I don't feel anything."
"You probably won't for another few weeks," Andrea assured her. "Everything looks great. I want to see you back in a month. Sooner if you have any problems at all, ok?"
"Ok," Carol said with a nod.
"Anything at all, any concerns, you call me, and we'll get you in. Carol, I don't want you to worry. You don't have a thing to worry about."
"Thank you," Carol said softly. She looked up at Daryl, but he was looking at the screen, transfixed by the image of his unborn child.
"That's really…that's a baby," he said quietly.
"That's kinda how this words, dad," Andrea said with a little grin. "Alright, Carol, I'm going to get you a couple of printouts. Baby's first snapshot. You hold tight for a few minutes, and I'll be right back." Carol nodded, and Andrea wiped the gel from Carol's stomach. When she was gone, Carol looked up at Daryl and took a deep breath.
"So?" she asked quietly.
"That's my kid in there." He put his hand on her stomach, and Carol put her hand over his.
"Yeah. Yeah, that's your kid," she said softly, biting her lip. "You gonna be ok?"
"Yeah," he said softly, as Carol curled her fingers around his. "That's…that's our kid."
"Yeah," she replied with a smile, watching his eyes shine.
"Thank you for asking me to come. I'm glad I didn't miss this," he said quietly. She just nodded and gave his hand another squeeze, and for the first time since the accident, everything felt like it was going to be ok.
