Author's Note: SUCCESS computers finally working again :D! anyway a special thanks to all of you who reviewed *tears* thanks you *sniffles* . Now onto chapter 11! WHOOTTTTT!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! ALL CHARACTERS AND PLOT…ect BELONG TO THE TOTALLY AWSOME STEPHANIE MEYER ! heeheee I always laugh at what people put in here BUT, REGARDLESS I AM MERELY BORROWING HER CHARACTERS FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT!
ENJOY!
P.S. Anything in Italics is content taken out from Breaking Dawn and is merely formatted to better sustain the thought process so I don't stagger from the plot line *which I have a habit of doing* ^.^
P.S.S. I had my own series of New Moon when my edward left me fore some other girl but he spent a good month begging before I took him back (: *sigh* Now my life is in the eclipse stage! Whoop! (:
Breaking Dawn
Book 2
Bella
Goodbyes.
"Oh. Ugh. Please, Jacob." I rolled my eyes, "You think I should kill me baby and replace it with some generic substitute? Artificial insemination?" I nearly barked at him now. "Why would I want to have some stranger's baby? I suppose it just doesn't make a difference? Any baby will do?"
No baby would ever fill the space this baby had consumed in my heart.
"I didn't mean that." He mumbled softly, almost as if he were embarrassed. "Not a stranger." He clarified.
Confused and suspicious, I leaned in closer, "Then what are you saying?"
"Nothing." He back-tracked, "I'm saying nothing. Same as ever."
Liar, "Where did that come from?" I narrowed my eyes in accusation.
"Forget it Bella." He sidestepped my question.
I frowned and my suspicion increased, "Did he tell you to say that?"
He hesitated and immediately I had my answer. Yes, he did.
"No." He testified.
"He did, didn't he?"
"No, really. He didn't say anything about artificial whatever." Jake protested.
I knew he was telling the truth about that. He might not have said anything about artificial but I knew what he was playing at. I sighed, emotionally drained and defeated and stared off into the distance.
"He would do anything for me. And I'm hurting him so much…" I knew this. I had accepted this but I knew my deep in my heart I wasn't okay with it. "But what is he thinking? That I would trade this"—I stroked my swollen belly lovingly—"for some strangers…" I felt the tears spring to my eyes as I muttered the last part. I wondered minutely if Jake could decipher the mush tumbling from my mouth. The thought, though somewhat important, got lost in the depths of more stressing heart-crushing thoughts.
Why would Edward ever believe I would trade him for someone else? He was something so unbelievably easy to detach from my grasps. This baby, although the symbol for my inevitable death, or at least my forthcoming change into immortality, wasn't exchangeable.
Jake broke my train of thought breaking the melancholy silence, "You don't have to hurt him." He whispered promisingly. "You could make him happy again, Bella. And I really think he is losing it. Honestly, I do."
Part of me listened to Jake, pleading with the other half of my mind to understand him but the other half refused to compromise, drawing lazy circles around my belly. I let my mind trail off in wonder of how different life for me would have been had Edward not come back. Had he stayed away, like he had disturbingly promised, I knew I wouldn't be in this situation. Yet again I knew that deep down I wouldn't ever have been able to give every bit of myself to Jacob. It was impossible when every part of me that he should be allowed to love was lost forever in the grasp of my lover that had abandoned me.
I felt myself drift off back to Jakes
"Not a stranger?" I felt myself mumble. From the corner of my eye I could see Jacob flinch.
"What exactly did Edward say to you?" I inquired in a low voice.
"Nothing. He just thought you might listen to me." Jake said his voice a little too innocent.
"Not about that. Try again."
My eyes locked onto Jakes and I knew that he knew that I knew. If that made sense.
"Nothing."
How could it be? How was it possible? Jacob Black…Jake... My best werewolf friend wanted me to conceive HIS CHILD! For a moment, I entertained the thought. I imagined what it would be like… Suddenly I had the urge to vomit conceiving his child meant two things I was very uncomfortable ever doing.
One. I would have to kill this child that meant more to me then I could already comprehend. I knew deep down I couldn't ever allow for that to happen.
Two. I would have to have….sex…with Jake.
My mouth fell open. "Wow."
It was silent for a minuet or two as I let the initial shock of Edwards decisions sink in. It was ironic. Edward, who had always been repulsed at the idea of Jake and me together, was asking Jacob to…
I shook my head in silent awe, "He really would do anything, wouldn't he?"
"I told you he was crazy. Literally, Bells."
I felt a small smile play across my lips, "I'm surprised you didn't tell on him right away. Get him in trouble."
I could feel Jakes eyes return to my face and I saw his lips twitch in a poor excuse for a grin.
Despite my indefinite no, I knew what Jake was really trying to fulfill and I was still happy for the offer. No matter how insane it was.
"There isn't much you wouldn't do for me, either, is there?" I whispered. "I really don't know why you bother. I don't deserve either of you."
"It makes no difference, though, does it?"
"Not this time." I felt myself sigh. "I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand. I cant hurt him"—I paused pointing my index finger to indicate exactly who I was referring to at the time— "any more then I could pick up a gun and shoot you. I love him."
The tears in my eyes that threatened to overspill the brim of my eyelids multiplied and I could feel a single lone tear trace the curve of my hot cheek.
"Why do you always have to love the wrong things, Bella?" Jacob mumbled.
"I don't think I do."
I saw Jakes eyes harden and I heard him clear his throat before me spoke. "Trust me."
Before I couldn't comprehend what he meant by that, Jacob started to get to his feet.
"Where are you going?" I protested. I needed him here.
"I'm not doing any good here." Jacob argued.
I could feel my heart start to clench into a tight fist. I just needed Jakes support. I needed him here for me… for my little nudger. I held out a weak thin hand in a pitiful attempt to grab onto him as if my action alone could make him stay.
"I don't belong here. I've got to get back."
"Why did you come today?" I asked my hand still stretched out to him.
"Just to see if you were alive. I didn't believe that you were really sick like Charlie had said."
Those words alone did enough damage but my mind, the side that still craved jakes presence contradicted me telling me that he still cared whether I was alive or not… at least from the packs perspective he did. But I didn't care about that I cared about what my best friend thought, what my brother thought.
"Will you come back again? Before…" I couldn't will myself to speak the words to him as if they alone would break the fragile connection I held left with him.
It didn't work.
"I'm not going to hang around and watch you die, Bella."
I flinched and my heart squeezed uncomfortably tighter pain welling in my chest, "You're right, you're right. You should go" I knew the only reason I was really saying this was for Jacobs own benefit. I knew he wanted me to let him free.
My heart gave one last final squeeze as Jacob headed for the door. In a pitiful last attempt I managed to squeak out, "Bye. Love you, Jake."
The pain in my chest all but disappeared when he froze in his tracks and I didn't have to be Edward in that moment to know that he was one second away from turning around and coming back to me. But devastatingly I saw him place a foot in front of the other as he reached out and gripped the handle to the door muttering, for what I was sure to be the last words he would ever speak to me, "Sure, sure," he mumbled in his half-heartedly tone as his body disappeared behind the front door.
Author's Note: WHEW! That took longer then I had intended it to! Lol leave me a comment of your thoughts they reallyyyy aree appreciated! I don't care what it is the good the bad or the ugly let me know how I could improve it! Anything in particular you wish to see in the upcoming chapters? Let me know. (:
Forever, VLA17.
