Disclaimer: I may not own Twilight or its characters, but I do own a picture of me with Peter Facinelli and Billy Burke, the two hottest Dads—ever.

A/N: lovely readers! I have returned from the land of Atlanta, where I attended Twi-Tour. It was awesome! But then I came home and got a severe, nasty outer ear infection, which had me writhing in pain like someone had released Jane on me. Not good. But I'm feeling better, so I wanted to update.

This chapter is all Edward's Point of View, since he was being Chatty-Cathy when I wrote this. A little bit of lime in there for those of you who are wearing smut-goggles.

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[Edward]

I took the bag from Bella's hands and shut the door behind me, waddling towards my parents' Mercedes. I opened the door to the backseat, chucked the bag in, and lugged myself behind it. I strapped the seatbelt on with some difficulty and a few grunts.

Mom turned around and frowned at me. "I'm sorry you don't feel well, and I'm sorry you and Bella got into a fight."

Dad chuckled, and Mom looked over and glared. "What is funny about this?"

He glanced back at me in the rearview mirror, and I nodded, rubbing my stomach in slow circles. "Mom, I have something to tell you, but you have to promise you won't get mad."

I saw her calculating possibilities in her mind as her eyes narrowed before softening again. "Alright, go ahead. Shock me."

"Bella and I aren't fighting. Well, not fighting anymore, I should say."

She raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

Dad turned a corner and I groaned as my stomach flopped with the car. "Sorry, son," he said quietly.

I nodded, running my other hand across my face. "Well, Mom, it all started last week when Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper and I were watching television. Emmett started mumbling something about one of the characters being 'whipped' and then started saying that I was 'whipped' by Bella. I tried to argue against him but…"

"I feel a bet coming on," she said lowly.

"Yep—Emmett bet me fifty bucks that I wouldn't go out and shave my head. I told him I wasn't going to do that because it wouldn't look professional on me, so then he agreed to pay me fifty bucks if I cut my hair real short. So when I went out to pick up the pizza, they said I had to wait twenty minutes. Well, the salon was right next door, so I just figured I would do it. I mean, my hair's unruly, so maybe it would look better if it was shorter, right?"

She laughed. "Well, it does look a bit shinier now that you mention it."

I took a deep breath, a wave of nausea coming over me. "Well, after I got the haircut, I started to drive home, excited for my big reveal. When I got there, Bella had just gotten home and was apparently upset because Emmet found some of her home movies from when she was a kid. She turned around and saw me and…"

"Freaked out?" she offered.

"Boy did she ever! I have never seen her that mad, Mom! Well, maybe once or twice when Emmett did something stupid, but never that mad at me. She wouldn't talk to me—she kicked me out of the bedroom."

My Dad chuckled, before coughing to cover it up.

"So the guys tried helping me win her back. We tried breakfast in bed, flowers, candy, serenading, none of it worked. It seemed Alice and Rose, 'Hell's Angels', were plotting against us the whole time."

"But you said you aren't fighting anymore?" Mom asked as we pulled into the garage at their house. I got out, grabbed my bag and lugged it inside. "You can stay in the downstairs guest room tonight if you want, Edward, so you don't have to climb the stairs to your room."

I nodded, throwing my bag in the corner and walking back out into the living room. I plopped on the couch and Mom had brought me out a glass of ginger ale.

"It'll help settle your stomach. Now tell me what happened next." She sat down next to me, running her fingers through my short hair, calming me.

"Well, to make a long story short, after a long argument, Bella and I made up."

"Sounds lovely, but where is the 'Mom, don't get mad part?' at exactly?"

Dad walked in, taking my mom's hand in his and she smiled. "Edward has some fabulous news!"

She stared at me. "Tell me I'm not gonna come across this room and beat your behind in about three seconds."

I laughed. "Mom, I asked Bella to marry me—and she said yes!"

I love my mother, but the shriek that came out of her mouth was nothing ladylike at all. I thought her smile was going to engulf her whole face as she flung her arms around me and starting crying.

"Oh, Edward that is wonderful! Just wonderful! Why didn't you tell everyone at dinner?!"

"See, this is where I don't want you to get mad…"

She looked over at Dad and her smile shrank. "You already knew."

He nodded, kissing her hand. "I'm sorry, but let Edward explain."

"Since Emmett and Alice basically spearheaded the 'boys versus girls' attack, Bella and I decided to get even with them for being so cruel. So at dinner, I staged the eating contest, and so we hid the engagement because it will really upset Alice when she finds out we didn't tell her. So, we couldn't tell you, Mom, because you would be such a give-away."

She mocked offense. "Edward Anthony Cullen!"

Dad laughed. "It's true, my charming wife. You would have been glowing and Alice would know."

"I guess you're right. I'm not too mad, since I still got to find out before everyone else. Has Bella told her parents?"

I shook my head. "She agreed to marry me just before you came over."

She smiled, kissing my cheek. "My baby boy is all grown up now. You've moved out, you're getting married," she squealed with excitement, "and think of the gorgeous grandbabies I'll have to smother with love!"

"Mom, you have two other children to push grandbabies on, don't freak Bella out."

She beamed at me. "Oh, Edward, I know, but your babies will be the cutest by far. I love your brother and sister dearly, as well as Rosalie and Jasper, but you are the most beautiful of the three."

I blushed and Dad coughed. "Come now, Esme, you don't need to blow up his ego any larger than it is. It's late, let's go to bed. Edward, I have to work in the morning, but feel free to take the extra car if you need to leave and I'm gone."

I nodded. "Thanks, Dad, but if you could give me a ride in the morning, that would be great. I don't care if it's early—I just want to get back to Bella as soon as possible."

He winked knowingly. "Alright, son. We're leaving at 5:30 a.m. and I don't want to have to drag you out of bed."

I kissed my mother and said goodnight to them before heading to the guest room. I wanted to call Bella and tell her all about my mother's excitement, and to warn her about the baby situation. I pulled my khaki pants off with a relieving sigh, changing into some baggy sweatpants and a clean t-shirt. As I was rifling through the bag, an envelope fell out and onto the ground. I picked it up and inspected it. My name was written on the front, in Bella's hand writing. Creepily, I sniffed the envelope, and sure enough, she had sprayed it with her perfume. I smiled and flicked the envelope open, running my finger under the fold. I pulled out the card, which was blank on the front except for the words 'Open me slowly' written in her scratchy penmanship.

I gasped out loud and almost dropped the card when I opened it up. I pulled out the picture that was sitting inside it—Bella was straddling the edge of the bathtub wearing a pale grey night dress that was almost entirely see-through. Her hair was piled up on top of her head and one hand was in the tub, playing with the water. She was staring directly at the camera with the most innocent yet seductive face I had ever seen. At first I was angry—who could have taken this picture of her? Who saw her all sexy? But I calmed down as I realized it had to have been Rose or Alice.

I pulled the picture out, and underneath it, on the card was written, "Call me."

I plucked my thumb in my mouth, nibbling on the end with excitement. I wanted to rush into my parents' room and demand they take me home so I could enjoy my new fiancées amazingly glorious body. But it was late, and my stomach was still sore. I groaned, lying on the bed, staring at the picture. She was so beautiful, and this picture just re-iterated that fact. My hand began rubbing soft circles against my lower stomach, attempting to settle it. After staring for a while, and building an inappropriately large hard-on from a picture of my girl, I picked up my cell phone.

It rang once. "Edward," she breathed my name happily.

A smile crept up on my face. "Hey, baby."

"How are you feeling?" she asked, and I could hear clanking in the background. I hoped she wasn't cleaning up the dinner mess by herself. I started feeling guilty.

"A little better. You aren't cleaning up that whole mess by yourself are you?"

I heard her laugh. "No, silly man. I left some of it for you tomorrow. I'm just putting some dishes in the dishwasher."

"Oh, okay. I should have stayed and helped—"

"No, Edward. You needed to rest before you puked all over. I couldn't handle that."

I sighed. "I miss you."

I could almost feel her eyes roll. "You'll be home in a few hours."

"I want to come home now," I whined.

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Because I miss my startling and breathtakingly beautiful, charming, and sexy as hell fiancée," I said, situating myself more comfortably in the bed.

"Did you happen to find your surprise?" She asked. I heard a loud bang followed by Bella grumbling "fucking stairs."

"I did. Are you okay? Do I need to come home and take care of you?"

"Stop asking me that! I'm fine! I just tripped on the stair at the top of the staircase." I heard our bedroom door open and shut. She was getting ready to sleep.

"Remind me to have Emmett look at it sometime much, much later. Or I could pay someone to come take a look at it."

"So, what'd you think of your card?" She asked in a hushed voice.

I let out a low moan. "Baby, it was the sexiest thing I have ever seen. When did you take that?"

"Well, Rose took them while you were gone in Texas. She's been taking a photography class, and I volunteered to be one of her subjects."

I growled. "I don't want anyone else seeing those photos."

"Yes, caveman. We figured that. That's why she just used me to get used to her camera. Calm down."

I purred at her. "I love it when you call me names."

"Edward," she said awkwardly, "where are your parents?"

"Upstairs asleep. Or doing something I don't ever want a visual to."

She giggled. "Are you in the guest room?"

"Yeah, I couldn't climb the stairs—I was feeling too fat."

"So, what are you wearing?" She asked curiously.

My heart stopped beating and my dick jumped up to say 'hello, Edward's hand!' Although the question was innocent, my thoughts and hopes were not. My voice dropped an octave and became husky. "Sweatpants and a t-shirt."

"Edward, what—"she started to ask before she figured it out. "Ooh…"

"What are you wearing?"

"Um, those peach boy shorts and matching tank top that you gave me for Valentine's Day last year," she said slowly.

I was almost panting at the visual she was creating—Bella, nearly naked, laying in our bed, twirling her hair around her finger, rubbing one leg against the other, while talking on the phone. How high school of her. My erection swelled painfully. "Ooh, I do love that set, baby."

"It's so hot in here, though," she whined.

I wet my lips. "Perhaps you should take your top off, then. It might make you feel cooler."

"Okay, hold on a second."

"No, Bella, put me on speaker. I don't want to miss anything."

I heard her click some buttons on the phone before hearing her again. "Alright, I'm taking it off…very slowly."

My heart began beating as fast as a hummingbird's wings. In my head I could picture her peeling it off her creamy skin. My hand began trailing down my stomach.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"Oh, god, baby, I'm sitting here, picturing you getting naked."

"Why don't you take your shirt off, too? I just love the way your muscles tighten when I run my fingertips across them."

I shuddered, sitting up and quickly pulling my shirt off my body.

"Mmm, if I were there right now I'd be kissing down that gorgeous chest of yours. I'd really want to get to the best part, though. But your sweatpants are in the way, baby. I need you to take them off."

So swift I even shocked the shit out of myself, I had my sweatpants off and in a pile somewhere I didn't care about right that second. "They're off," I proclaimed breathlessly.

"Mmm, good job, speedy. Now take that marvelous cock in your hands for me, give it a good stroke, just the way you like," she said devilishly. Wherever this Bella came from, she didn't need to hide in the closet anymore. I let my hand slide down, grasping my erection firmly, and giving a long tug. A low moan erupted from deep in my chest.

"Baby, get those gorgeous fingers in between your thighs. That's my favorite place and I just know you're wet for me already, aren't you?"

She was panting into the phone quite heavily. "Yes, so wet, so ready. Edward, just, oh, tell me you're stroking yourself."

"I am, baby, just like you do." My hips started lifting off the bed, building a rhythm. My eyes were squeezed shut, picturing Bella in the room in front of me. "God, you feel so fucking good."

She moaned. "It's like you're right here, baby. Oh, yeah, just like that."

I continued a slow and steady pattern, attempting to draw this out. "Bella, take my fingers inside you. I'm right there, baby, and you feel so tight."

"Ed—"she cried out, hitting a sweet spot.

"That's right, keep it just like that." My hand moved faster, sweeping over the tip and sending shivers down my spine. I let out a low 'fuck' under my breath.

I heard rustling near the phone, and imagined Bella was grabbing at the sheets, writhing on the comforter. "C'mon baby, give in to me. Give me what I want," I urged.

"It's so…Edward, I—"

"Flick your clit, Bella. Send yourself over—let me send you over."

Seconds later she was calling my name and moaning. With a few jerks of my own hand, I was coming with a strangled cry. I lay back against the bed, trying to catch my breath.

We lay in silence for a minute or two. "Edward?" she asked.

"Yes, baby?"

"That was…well, fucking fantastic."

I laughed along with her. "Tell me about it."

"I'm so excited to marry you," she giggled, and I could tell she was snuggling under the covers.

"Me, too," I said as I got up and washed my hands in the guest bedroom, slipping my sweatpants back on. "You'll really be mine, then."

"I'm yours now."

"No, but, you'll be more than my best friend or my lover—you'll be my wife."

"Well, when you put it like that, it sounds like you're getting quite the deal there, Mr. Cullen," she teased.

I lay back in bed, staring at the ceiling. "Well, I do consider myself to be a very blessed man."

She sighed. "Should I tell Alice I don't want to wear white?"

I laughed, "Do you really want to tell Alice you don't want to wear white?"

"No, I just wanted to see if her head would spin around like that girl in The Exorcist movie."

"Oh, well if that's all you wanted to do, just tell her that we eloped," I chuckled.

"I wish you were here right now," she said sadly.

I looked at my watch—it was only a little after 11. "I can come home, baby. We can snuggle all night if you want."

"No, you don't have to do that." She sounded so sad, like a little girl.

"I can borrow my dad's extra car, it's really no trouble."

"But your stomach hurts, you shouldn't drive…"

"Bella, when have you known me to not give you something that you wanted?"

"Edward, please don't worry about it," she sighed. "I was just being emotional."

I thought back to the busy day we had, and the importance of it—we got engaged today. Bella had agreed to spend her whole life with me today. And I was at my parents' house jacking off on the phone?

"No, you weren't. It's a valid request." I threw on a button down shirt, my fingers nimbly working the buttons into their respective loops. "I'm coming home, end of discussion. We got engaged today, we should be together celebrating."

"Really? You're coming home?" she asked with a hint of excitement.

I smiled. "Yes, love. But stay in bed, alright? I'll be there in about fifteen minutes."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too," I said as I hung up the phone. I threw the rest of my clothes in my duffle bag and was heading into the living room to find the spare keys when I jumped at the sight of my dad.

"Leaving so soon?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"Uh, yeah. Bella really misses me, and I figure, we got engaged today so we should at least be together."

He nodded warmly. "Well let me throw some shoes on and I'll drop you off."

"Dad, you don't have to do that."

He laughed. "I know, but can't a father want some quality time with his son?"

"Yes, but you have to work tomorrow. It'll be alright, Dad. Let's do lunch this weekend, just me and you, and maybe Emmett. It'll be a good bonding event."

He thought for a minute before nodding in agreement. "Alright, but only because I know you're eager to get back to Bella."

I hugged him, grabbing the spare keys off the hook. "Thanks, Dad. I love you."

"I love you, too, son. Now go home and take care of my daughter."

I smiled brightly as I headed towards the old BMW. I slid in easily, and the car purred to life. I drove safely, but quickly, towards home. I sighed happily as I pulled into the driveway, grabbing my bag and making my way into the house. I tossed the keys on the small table and toed off my shoes. I dropped the duffle bag in the living room and crept up the stairs in case Bella was already asleep. I peeked into the bedroom and saw her, sleeping like an angel. Her body rose and fell evenly and her lower lip was hanging out. I unbuttoned the shirt, biting back a laugh when I saw I had buttoned them unevenly.

I peeled back the covers and slid under, watching her. I would never know how I got so lucky as to have this woman in my life. I brushed the back of my hand across her cheek and she stirred slightly, opening her eyes to look at me.

"Edward?" she asked softly.

"Shh, go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

She scooted closer to me and I slipped an arm around her waist, kissing her forehead. "Goodnight, love."

"Are you really here?" she asked.

I chuckled. "Yes, angel, now go to sleep." She nodded and I began to hum softly to her while running a finger through her hair.

"Love you," she mumbled out once she was asleep.

I stared at her before tugging her closer. "I love you, too. Always."

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A/N: Can I get a collective 'Aww' here? Thanks guys! So what did you think of Bella's surprise?

Thanks to the usual suspects, Little Miss Masen, and kimberlycullen10!

Reviews are like Rachelle Lefevre—vital and necessary!