Sorry for the delay people! My house kinda caught fire and then I spent the last few days wandering around London getting lost. Hectic stuff. This is my excuse for poor writing this week but I will come back like always to fix it. I just didn't wanna leave you without an update or get left too far behind the show. Lexa's chapter will be uploaded hopefully tomorrow. Depends if im too hungover to write it friday haha!
Thanks for the reviews gang! I smile like a grounder on moonshine when I read them.
To the awesome rocker who suggested Lizzy Hale: Yes dude! She's amazing! Halestorm is one of my fav bands! As for my musical tastes, just watch the playlist. As a musician myself I'm a very versatile creature :P
To the reviewer asking for plot lines, I did say this was a wing it write. Hence why I'm following canon. For now. I always said I may drift. Depends if the show tries to break our hearts. For now I'm happy to just bide my time and write in the gaps.
For everybody else I wish I could hug ya! I love that you love the story!
*New note; The chapter's been edited bc I was a drunk mofo when I posted it. Im sorry!*
Now Playing: Willow Tree March by The Paper Kites.
This is the law...
Clarke.
"Clarke"
Bellamy looks at me. He's worried. He's concerned. He's reaching for the gun. My hand shakes as my grip loosens on it. Slowly Bellamy comes closer. He doesn't want to scare me. He's trying to help. My grip tightens suddenly. Nobody can help me.
I ignore his gentle eyes and push my aim around him to the boy crying and choking on the floor. One quick pull on the trigger and his pain would be over. But mine wouldn't. Mine was just starting.
"Clarke" His voice rings loud in my ears and I shut my eyes tight. I hear a step behind me as he says my name again and I swing around to face him.
Green eyes stare back at me, calm and collected. Waiting. I blink when I realise they're not Bellamy's. I look down at my fierce grip on the back of her neck and then down at the knife in my hand. I hear the boy cough for air again and look back to see him struggling on the floor. He's looking up at her, pain in his eyes. He raises his raw hand and points at her, screaming out when it hurts.
I feel angry then. More angry than I'd been in my entire life. She was the reason for all of this. She was to blame.
I start breathing fast and tighten my hold on her. She does nothing to stop me, which makes me angrier. I want her to fight!
My eyes move back and slide down her face. She looks shameless. She even looks smug. There's a proud gleam in her eyes that pulls on me.
My attention catches on a dark stain smudging her jacket. I frown at it and follow the trail up the fabric to her skin. It turns red there and splits into thin sticky trails up.
I glance up at her throat and swallow heavily. Its bleeding slowly against the blade's edge. I stare at the blood. I stare at her. Why was she letting me kill her?!
Lexa smiles back at me and she glances down at the boy dying by our feet. Her hand touches my fingers around the knife and she bows forward so she can rest her head against mine. It pushes the knife into her throat, sickeningly shoving it into her windpipe. She makes no sound as it enters her. She makes no effort to stop it. And Im so shocked I can only hold onto the knife as it wobbles with her breaths.
Her blood dribbles down over both of us and I shake terrified inside her hold as she moves her lips to my ear.
She whispers slowly like she's kissing me with the words. Its a promise. And a heartbreak.
"I'm sorry"
"NO!"
I lurched up fast with a loud cry and trembled violently on the bed. My eyes shook around the room while I hyperventilated and searched my hands for blood. It took me a moment to realise I was okay, and that I'd only been dreaming. Like every other night. But I couldn't shake this nightmare so easily.
"Clarke?" Jes called concerned from the door. I jumped at the sound of her voice and swallowed quickly before I called back.
"I'm okay!" I rushed. I was embarrassed she'd heard me cry like that. My voice echoed through the room and I winced at how pathetic it sounded.
The door opened and the warrior quickly slid into the room. I brushed my hair out of my eyes as she approached and I cringed at the sweat sticking to my fingers. Jes crouched by the side of the bed and looked at me, the light from the candle in her hand made her hazel eyes gleam a little. She studied my face and then my position on the bed before she nodded in understanding. I fidgeted embarrassed again.
"Dreams are torture" she said standing up again. Her expression fell from gentle to serious as she straightened up and told me, "The commander wishes to see you"
I frowned back at her and peered out the window. The sun wasn't even up yet. What the hell did Lexa want with me so early?
"When?" I asked jes, hoping she would tell me sun up so I could pass out again.
She gave me a slight smile as if she knew my thoughts. She told me Lexa had ordered for my presence as soon as I woke. I moaned to myself.
So much for not commanding me...
"I dont suppose you could tell her a teeny white lie and say I woke up later?" I tried with pleading eyes. I felt exhausted and needed to rest a little longer. Especially after that nightmare.
Jes gave me a stern look and I blew out a sigh and pushed the furs off my legs.
"Fine. Im coming" I yawned rising stiffly to my feet.
Jes smiled happy and turned back to the door. I grumbled to myself about annoying commanders as I dressed myself. She could have least waited for a more sensible time to call private meetings.
Whats so important? I wondered as I picked up my jacket. Lexa had all but avoided me over the past couple days. Her attention had been so locked on planning councils and war meetings that she'd hardly left her throne. And when she did it wasn't to see me. I remembered my nightmare as I tied my boots on. Maybe she was afraid to be near me? Maybe she thought I'd try to kill her again. Maybe thats why she swore her fealty to me. So I wouldn't kill her...
Seriously? my mind scoffed and I had to agree with it. Lexa wasn't one to be scared so easily. Her oath of fealty had meant something else. I knew that much.
My thoughts hazed to what today was bringing into the capital. With the Ice Queen due to arrive any moment a meeting of clans was arranged. I was an ambassador now and that meant I was expected to attend and assist in passing judgement for the attack on my people. Maybe Lexa wanted to discuss that with me.
My fingers slipped on the jacket in my hands and fell through the holes torn in the leather on the back of the left shoulder. I moved away from my thoughts and looked miserably down at the claw marks. The jacket was ruined. My last piece of life in space was broken.
Like everything else.
I slipped my arms through it and pulled it on and walked out of the room in search of jes, ignoring the way the cold air blew in through the torn leather across my shoulder blades. I found my guard waiting on the stairs. She nodded at my short stride towards her and turned to lead the way out of the tower.
I rubbed my eyes and yawned continually as we walked. I felt so tired. Jes kept throwing me amused smiles for it. I bet she'd been up all night on sentry duty. I wondered how she did it. And that made me wonder how Lexa did it too. How'd she managed to hold war meetings late into the night and then rise this early without trouble? Personally I was ready to find a tree and make a bed under it.
"She's over there" Jes whispered stopping me to point down a track by the woods.
I stared at the dark invite onto the trail and gave her an apprehensive look when I realised she meant for me to alone. I didn't much like the idea of walking around defenceless when our enemies easily walked around among us.
Jes smiled at my fear and squeezed my arm gently.
"The patrol guards will watch over you" she reassured pushing me forward a step. I nodded and thanked her before I walked on into the wood.
I stumbled more than a few times on the short walk through the wood. I couldnt see so well in the dark and the grounders had seen no reason to light the path when they could see perfectly at night. Sometimes i would hear a twig snap somewhere to the side of me and jump frightened, only to be greeted with a whisper of my name in the dark. Once I fell and the warrior on patrol watching laughed. I glared to myself every time it happened and returned to my grumbling as I pushed myself up to my feet again and on towards the open clearing ahead.
I thought about my nightmare as I walked. It had scared me how close it had come to coming reality. lexa's willingness to die for me worried me more than i cared to admit. I remembered the way the boy had pointed at her in my dream, accusing her, and her, looking uncaring back. I knew lexa did feel guilt for the mountain. Enough to take the blame off my shoulders. But still I continued to blame her and myself. I wondered how long it would take for me to forgive her and move on. How long would it take me to grant myself the same mercy.
It takes as long as it takes, whispered my thoughts.
When I finally broke out of the wood I peered around myself. I couldn't help but doubt my safety outside of the inner city. I concentrated my hearing and tried to pick up on my surroundings. I could hear a stream nearby. And I could smell pine. I looked around at the enclosed space and noticed candles had been lit and dotted around the rocks leaning out of the undergrowth.
The sounds of wood being smacked invited me further out of the wood as I walked into the open space towards the light. I turned immediately towards it, fearing a patrol guard was being attacked.
I felt my eyes widen and my jaw drop when I saw the two figures fighting by the rock.
Lexa was stood in the clearing with a young boy, fighting him with a wooden stave. She was wearing a very tight black vest that stretched snug across her torso and tucked into her pants. She was breathing heavy from her practice with the boy and even from this distance I could see her sweating a little.
Breathe clarke, my body urged when I stood there staring. I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head to clear it of her looking like that. It was highly distracting.
I strode slowly closer and watched over their training with curious eyes.
Lexa was going at the boy, arms powerfully striking him repeatedly with the stick. He defended her blows and held his ground against her, sometimes even managing to push her back a step. I was impressed. I'd seen grown men tremble before Lexa and this boy was holding his own against her like it was easy.
"Good!" she called and pushed him back until he tripped into the wall of the well behind him.
I expected her to stop then but lexa carried on hitting out at him, forcing him to lean back over the waters edge for space. I stared at them, waiting for him to surrender. From her smirk I could tell she thought she'd won.
"When do we give up?" She asked him, extending her arms slowly to force her stick to push his down against his own throat.
I watched him lean away a little more. His back dipped into the water but she carried on pushing him. The boy's arms were trembling. He was in pain. From holding his body that way and from her pushing on him. I wanted to pull her off. He was just a kid. But I knew Lexa well enough to know that she would back off before she pushed him too far. She wasn't being cruel. She was trying to teach him.
"We do not, Heda" He puffed his answer and I watched in amazement as he pushed the two staves up off his chest and shoved her back.
Lexa nodded at him as she regained her footing and quickly went at him again. This time he battled her hard until an unseen blow to the back of his legs pulled him under her. Her boot went down over her chest and she pressed the end of her stave lightly against his throat.
"Always expect more than what your enemy shows" she told him strongly. The boy looked down at the stick leaning into him and then nodded.
Lexa let up a little then and looked up. She saw me and quickly withdrew her stave and leant a hand down to the boy. He took it and she pulled him to his feet with a praising smile.
"Go clean up" she told him clapping him on the back, "We will continue at sundown"
He nodded and handed her his stave before he ran away past me to the woods. I watched him go. He was an impressive kid. I wondered why she was training with him.
I turned to ask and found her stood directly in front of me, staring down at me with a frown. I took a startled step back and coughed a little. I had no idea why I was feeling self conscience suddenly. She was the one that looked like the poster child for gym class.
"Good morning, Clarke" she said lowly with a smirk growing under her serious expression. I swallowed and nodded at her.
"Hey" Lexa's eyes bore seriously into me and I had to look away, "You wanted to see me?"
She nodded and thankfully for me turned her attention down to the stave in her hand. She held it out to me and I nervously took it.
"You and your people have joined my coalition. It is only right that now I teach you our ways"
I frowned at the stave in my hand, "Your ways?" I repeated confused.
She nodded and span her stave in her hand. I watched her arms flex as she twirled the stick skilfully around her body. I swallowed heavily again.
"You have the spirit of a commander, Clarke. But not yet the strength"
"I get it" I said rolling my eyes at her showing off to me, "You can beat me in an arm wrestle. Happy? I said it"
Lexa's eyes flashed her amusement and she strode forward with a slight smile for my reply. She shook her head at me.
"I could beat you at many things, Clarke..." Her gaze ran down my body as she said it and I felt a warm flush spread through me under her eyes as they returned to mine, "Which is why I ask you begin training with me"
I stared at her.
She wants to train me?
She wants you to protect yourself, my head reasoned. But my heart was smirking with Lexa at me. I couldnt help but think the commander had an agenda hidden here.
"Uh, what?"
"I want to train you" she clarified striding forward with a smile I didn't fully trust. She waited for me to say something and when I couldnt she turned, "Unless Wanheda is afraid of her heda"
She was baiting me and I hated how it worked. Lexa turned with her insult and recieved my glare with an easy smile. I threw the stave to her and she caught it like she'd been waiting for that reaction from me. I started pulling off my jacket. I'd show her who's afraid.
Lexa nodded once at me as I threw the jacket down and she quickly threw the spare stave back at me. I caught it in my hands and positioned it in line with my body and pointed at the ground. Lexa's eyes never left me as she stalked closer with her own stave held up like she held her sword.
"Ready, wanheda?" she asked with a smirk.
"To kick your ass?" I returned cheekily smiling myself, "Bring it on"
She's going to go easy on me, I thought as Lexa inched a little closer to me, No way is she going to-
My thought got cut short with the sudden pain running up my side. I jumped on the spot and clutched a hand against my hip where she'd slapped her stave. I looked back at her angrily but she wasn't going to give me time to cry about it. She lifted her arms back and went to hit me again, this time aimed at my head. I ducked and raised my stick to meet hers. The shock of the two sticks slamming together ran down my arms and rattled my teeth. I looked up to find I'd gained myself an approving smile.
"Not bad, right?" I joked pushing against her.
Lexa's eyes twinkled a little before she slipped her hand down her stave and pulled me forward. My wrist twisted when she yanked it in her grip and I slipped forward. I fell painfully to my knees in the dirt beside her. Her stick rose to my neck and she stared down at me.
"Not good" She said hauling me up by my vest. I huffed to myself and stumbled back into position.
I was sweating a lot by the time she'd decided to call it a day. We both were. It surprised me how much stamina the commander had. To have been up all morning training with somebody else and then to carry on for hours later with me, it was impressive. But apart from the sheen on sweat clinging to her neck and shoulders she barely seemed tired.
She watched me double over panting hard and I heard her walk away to the well. I heard a splash of water and looked up at her splashing her face with it. She glanced back at me and nodded me to come join her. When I did she waved at the water for me to wash my face. I did and shivered gratefully at the cold relief it spread over my hot skin.
"You've got some skill already, Clarke" she commented watching me throw more water over my face, "But not enough to defend yourself. I would like to show you how to do that. Properly"
"Sure" She didn't answer and I realised then she was waiting for a thanks. I quickly rushed one to her. I was grateful she would help me out. She didnt need to and I definitely hadn't expected it.
Lexa remained silent. I wiped my hand down my face and looked back at her. Her eyes were shaded in the dark morning but I could see them swirling with something as she studied my face. My heart bumped uneven in my chest and I had to take a step away from her incase she could see what it was doing to me being this close to her. Lexa followed my movement back and it seemed to shake her out of her thoughts enough to walk past me.
"We need to get back" she told me stopping to bend down for my jacket, "Queen Nia's sentencing will begin soon"
I nodded and moved to walk beside her. She handed me my jacket, looking down at our hands when they brushed. The air seemed to fill electrically when she looked back at me, and for a moment I honestly thought she was going to do something. Everything in her expression said she wanted to. I wanted to. My heart fell a little when she looked away.
I took the jacket off her with a mumbled thanks and awkwardly put it on. My muscles ached from her abusive training and I was afraid the wounds on my back had opened up again. Lexa's eyes flashed to me in concern when I gasped harshly through the pain. She touched my arm to help but I shook my head at her. She stood away with my answer and walked faster towards the city. I collected a deep breath and hurried after her.
The clan leaders were talking. Mumbling incoherently to each other while they waited for lexa to take her throne. I looked around at them all. I didn't miss the way their eyes kept glancing at me. Or the way they whispered my name behind their hands. It made me edgy in my seat.
I glanced up at lexa talking with titus out on the balcony in private. I watched her eyes take in what he said and I could tell she wasnt going to work with whatever plan he was giving her. She'd go her own way. Just as she always did.
"You're staring"
I blinked and looked over at Roan as he strode past with a guard. He was shoved into a spot on my right and kicked down to his knees. I met his eyes nervously. I worried he'd be angry for my failing to kill lexa. But he was smiling at me, like a nice guy. It had me concerned even more.
He looked over his right shoulder at lexa and then back at me. He bowed lowly with a smirk
"Great wanheda, commander of death" I glared at him and he straightened up, "Oh wait, we should minus the death part"
"Are you honestly wanting to talk about this here?" I asked coldly. His smile deepened and it scared me a little.
"Clarke?"
I looked up over the prince's shoulder at lexa watching me in concern. I shook my head and she glared at roan's back,
"As a prisoner you are not permitted to speak with clan leaders" She told him sternly.
He flashed me a smirk and turned back to her and bowed. Lexa's eyes followed him closely. She didnt trust him at all.
Neither should you, my mind warned.
Lexa walked over to me and rested a hand against my chair. She looked down at me, silently asking if I was okay. I nodded, warmed by her concern, and then glanced around at the other clans watching us.
"Ignore them" she told me claiming my attention again. She smiled and leant a little closer, "They fear you more than they fear me, wanheda. Use that to your advantage"
I couldn't see what she meant. They were openly talking about me in front of me. How was that fear? Still, I nodded at the commander and held my head a little higher to show that what they whispered didn't bother me. Lexa's eyes gleamed over me pleased.
"You know you will be called for claim on judgement today" I nodded remembering our conversation on our walk back earlier, "An attack on your people requires you to stand and watch her be sentenced. This will be death, Clarke" she told me watching me carefully. I knew she was worried for my conscience. But this time this one wasn't on me.
"Blood must have blood" I answered in a dead voice.
Lexa nodded and took a step back, "Your people will have that blood, Clarke. I promise you"
She strode away then, back to take a seat on her throne. Roan smirked at me watching her go and it made me realise I was being to obvious with my emotions. I quickly fixed my expression and gave him another glare to shut him up. Lexa regained my attention as I looked away from him. She'd been watching me too. Her eyes thoughtful on me made me shiver but I covered it over by straightening in my seat.
Stop watching me, I silently begged feeling myself start to blush. I peaked back at her and breathed relief when I found her talking with Titus. She turned her attention to the clans after and I couldn't help but smile a little when I caught her taking a brave breath before beginning.
"Ambassadors of the Coalition," Everyone in the room turned in silence under Lexa's voice, "Today we honour our covenant. The clan that stands against one of us, stands against us all"
She twitched her hand and Titus raised his to the guards at the doors, "Bring in the accused" He ordered.
The doors opened and I like all the other clan delegates moved my eyes off lexa to watch the ice queen walk in. My eyes ran over her. She had a tall and thin figure wrapped up in leather and fur. My attention drifted over her face and focused on the white scarring standing like icey leaves on her skin. Besides those she looked...ordinary. She didn't look anything like I thought she would. Being Roan's mother I had expected a little... more.
This is the woman that killed Lexa's girlfriend? I wondered doubtfully. Maybe I'd villainized her a little too much after all the stories.
I continued to study her as she was walked forward. She held herself tall and unyielding. Proud like a queen would look. The other ambassadors looked away when she peered their way and I could tell this was a woman of immense power and fear. She scared them more than lexa could.
Her sharp eyes found me as she was walked to the centre of the room and suddenly she was everything I'd expected. Those grey eyes staring coldly at me looked very capable of mass murder. They looked capable of anything evil.
Her attention fell away from me and I breathed relieved from it. Instead she looked to her son, in disappointment and contempt. I remembered then that he'd been banished and I wondered how long it'd been since she'd last seen Roan. Judging by the look he gave her in return it'd been a while. He looked just as glad as she for the reunion. It made me think what he could have done that was so bad to have earned him banishment from his own mother.
Something real bad...
The guards positioned the queen in front of the throne and shoved her to her knees at Lexa's feet. She glared up at Lexa and I felt her threatening stare roll through me too. I stared angrily at the queen. I had been willing to hear her out. But seeing her glare murder at the commander made me too angry to care much for her story. I wanted to see her punished.
Titus strode forward to address us but my eyes stayed on lexa staring calmly back at the queen.
"Queen Nia of Azgeda has confessed to the destruction of Mount Weather, resulting in the death of 49 members of Skaikru" I looked back at the queen expecting to see some form of remorse for her actions. But instead i saw her smirking up at lexa, like she was gloating, "Wanheda, what say you?"
I looked back at titus. I didn't expect to be called on so quickly.
Lexa's eyes stole mine and I glanced again at the ice queen's smirk before my anger directed me,
"Skaikru demands justice" I called loud and strong.
"Ice nation does not answer to this girl!" The queen spat turning back to me.
"Silence!" Titus barked, calling her anger off me to him again, "The punishment for your crime is death"
I saw roan look towards lexa then but she remained calm and unmoving as she kept her eyes locked with Nia's.
Titus looked down at the queen, "Do you have anything to say in your defence?"
"I need no defence" she called looking to lexa, "She does" She paused a moment before speaking louder, "Today is judgment day. I call for a vote of no confidence"
I stared at her, shocked by her outburst and confused for what it meant. Titus shook his head at the woman and waved the guards forward.
"Take this queen to meet her fate" he ordered quickly. They marched forward to grab her and still Lexa just watched the queen in silence.
"Not so fast" a thick voice rumbled. I turned my head and watched a clan delegate rise to his feet. He looked back at lexa and declared, "Commander no more"
Another clan member rose and repeated him. And another. I stared around at them as they rose and turned on Lexa. On the floor the ice queen was smiling.
"Take them away, too!" Titus shouted pointing at the guards to make arrests.
"Wait!" lexa ordered as the guard beside the queen took hold of her arm. They stopped and obediently stood back. I stared back at her. I didn't trust that look she was giving Nia. It was the same look she'd given me when she was deciding Finn's fate.
What is she doing?!
Titus immediately turned back to her "Leska, please execute these traito-"
Lexa cut him off by raising her hand. She peered down at the queen calmly "Let her make her move"
A murmur went up among the clan delegations before they each in turn rose to dismiss lexa as commander. I stayed seated. I didn't understand exactly what was going on. The clan leaders had stood loyal to lexa not two days ago and now their ambassadors were leading a mutiny against her.
"Commander, what is this?" I asked looking back to her. I frowned at her still calm expression.
How is she being so cool about this?!
"This is a coup" she replied, anger slipping into her smooth tone.
"This is the law" the queen announced rising and turning to explain it to me, "Her law... A unanimous vote of the ambassadors or death are all that can remove a commander from power"
Her smile returned to lexa then and I glanced between the two women in silent fear. I realised now what was happening. Nia was avoiding war by buying off the other clan's into voting lexa out of power. That was why she'd come so willingly to the city. She'd planned this to happen. She'd known they would follow her.
But not Skaikru, I realised looking up at the queen.
"It's not unanimous" I threw back at her angrily.
"We don't recognise the legitimacy of Skaikru" She spat back looking down at me in disgust.
"We do" She turned back to titus. He raised his hand to me and told her strongly, "Yesterday Skaikru took the brand. They are the 13th Clan"
Her eyes peered over to me briefly but she didnt look at all disapointed. Titus grew angrier with her smile for him,
"This vote of no confidence fails!" He announced to the room, "All these coup plotters will suffer the exact same fate as the Ice Queen!"
The clansmen shifted nervously and I could tell watching them that they feared his threat. Nia was staring back at lexa. She smiled sensing the clansmen shifting alliegence back to lexa and boldy lifted her head.
"She won't take our heads because she knows our armies will retaliate" I set my eyes angrily on her when she turned in a circle to the clans, "None of us here wants war" she told them innocently.
Except you do, I thought glaring at her. I wasn't buying this innocent act of selfless concern for everybody.
And neither was Lexa.
"We both know what you want, Nia"
Lexa stood and I could see all her calmly locked anger slowly slip out as she strode forward. She stopped in front of the ice queen and met her gaze with a hateful one,
"If you think me unfit to command, issue the challenge and let's get on with it"
What challenge?! I watched on confused as they faced off to one another. Nia's smile grew and I could tell this was what she'd wanted all along. This challenge was her intention all along. And Lexa had known that and still played into it.
Because she had no other choice, my heart sank as I realised finally the sort of decisions lexa had to make. This was just like the mountain. She had no choice.
"Very well" Nia smirked, "You are challenged"
"And I accept your challenge" Lexa answered straight away. I took a scared breath in when I saw Titus look immediately back at lexa. He'd paled a little and was looking at her in fear. But not because of her. For her.
I didn't like this.
"So be it" he called defeated, "Single combat. Warrior against warrior" I felt my heart rise sickeningly when he faltered over his next words, "To the death"
He turned to the ice queen, "Queen Nia of Azgeda, who do you choose to be your champion?"
"My son Roan, Prince of Azgeda"
I looked back at Roan with her announcement. He tipped his head towards his mother and sent her a measured look. She smiled expectantly back at him with eyes that dared him to speak against her. I hoped he would. I hoped he'd side with lexa despite her betrayal against him. Because even he had to know lexa was better than his mom.
When he remained quiet I knew he wouldn't.
Why is lexa looking at him like that?
She'd turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. She fixed him with a calculating look, as if thinking hard over him fighting for his mother. My heart shook inside me when I realised she was sizing him up. I knew her enough to know she wouldn't condemn one of her warriors to fight him. And she was far too proud to entertain the idea. She glanced back at me with heavy eyes and I shook my head at her pleading. She didn't know how well he could fight. She wouldn't stand a chance.
Don't, my heart screamed at her.
Lexa turned away and looked up at her guard as she strode back to sit on her throne. He lifted his chin and gave her a slight nod to say he would fight for her. He turned back to the clans when she ignored him and sat down on her throne.
"Heda, who will fight for you?" titus asked her despite knowing she wouldn't choose somebody. I dug my nails into my palms to stop myself calling out to her. She would make this decision and stand by it.
And die by it, I winced. I held my breath and waited.
Lexa's attention burned heavy on Nia and I could see her quickly losing patience inside her anger. She glared down at the queen and the power of it had me shaking.
"I am the commander" Lexa snarled viciously, "Nobody fights for me"
Nia grinned with Lexas answer. Roan looked a little nervous. Maybe he thought Lexa could beat him.
"It is decided" Titus declared in a miserable voice, "At sun high today, a duel to the death"
I felt my head fall in shock. So soon.
The ambassadors called in agreement and began shuffling out of the room. I rose quickly to my feet and hurried to Lexas side. She was still seated, eyes set darkly on Queen Nia as the guards pulled her away. I stopped briefly by roan and accepted his pitying look for me with a deep glare.
"Heda, I plea you withdraw your decision" I moved to stand beside Titus and nodded in agreement, "We cannot afford for you to-"
"Quiet" she ordered standing up. He backed away and she turned to me, "We need to talk.."
Her eyes drifted back to Titus and her guards,
"Leave us" she commanded. They bowed and quickly left.
I waited for them to close the doors on us before I turned and shoved her back a step. She didn't stumble like I wanted her to. She'd been expecting me to lash out at her.
"Are you insane?!" I cried at her, "Don't you see you're giving her exactly what she wants?"
Lexa ignored me and strode past me. I grabbed her arm and made her look at me.
"You are putting all our lives at risk, me and my people, for the sake of your damned pride"
She gently pulled my hand down, "If my champion lost I would not be commander"
"But you could live to fight back for it" I argued.
Lexa shook her head at me, "Nia would have my head the moment her son claimed my champion's. I am too much of a threat to leave alive" I stared at her, how could she be so calm about all of this? I felt like screaming. Lexa's eyes softened and she touched my shoulder, "It will be fine, Clarke. Don't worry"
I laughed, "You could die today. Everything I've done to protect my people will have been for nothing!"
"Clearly you underestimate me" she said coolly. I glared at her and walked to stand right in front of her.
"You can throw this tough guy bullshit in my face all you want" I told her walking after her when she stepped back, "But you can't hide from me" she hit the wall and her eyes locking onto mine told me she remembered this from before. I shook the memory away and focused all my anger into getting her to see I wasn't going to brush this off as nothing, "I know you, Lexa. And I am not going to let you go kill yourself over the sake of pride. Your people need you" I stared back at her processing my words before I added softer, "I need you"
She leant forward then to speak but I turned and walked quickly out of the room. I heard her call after me but I was far too angry to care for her promises right now. The guards each gave me annoyed expressions when I shoved the doors open on them but I didnt care. I turned to the corridor and walked down it to where Titus was pacing frantically.
"Talk her out of it" I told him strongly. He looked back at me with a stoney expression. Maybe my order had offended him.
"I am fleimpeka. It is my duty to follow as my commander orders. As ambassador to the 13th clan, it is your duty also"
He pushed past me and walked back into the throne room. I held my shoulder and glared at his back. I got the heavy feeling that guy didn't like me.
"Clarke?" I glanced back behind me at Jes. She was stood waiting for me as promised but her eyes were heavy with concern. I turned and walked over to her. She looked down at me worried, "Are you alright?" She asked touching my shoulder.
I shrugged and began walking to the stairs. I needed to find somewhere to think. She followed me.
"Explain to me what happens when a commander's rule is challenged by her ambassadors" I said keeping my eyes to the stairs as we rushed down then. I caught Jes' head snap back to me and she stopped me with a strong look.
"Is that what happened?" I nodded and she cursed under her breath, "She will be challenged to fight for her position as commander"
"And if she loses?"
"The victor will become the commanding regent until the commanders spirit is known again"
"So Nia will rule until the new commander is found?" Jes nodded and I shook my head, "She'll kill the next commander too. Can't the clans see that?"
Jes's eyes were swimming with silent fear but she lifted her chin with a strong look for me, "Our Heda is strong, Clarke. She was chosen by the gods. Only they will throw her down"
I looked into her eyes and frowned, "And what happens when Lexa dies today?"
Jes's expression wavered a little with uncertainty. She gripped her sword and gave me a strong look.
"Then her spirit will find the next commander"
I walked away. I felt so frustrated. It felt as if every grounder would think the same way. Would accept Lexa's fate. None would stand up against it because of beliefs. Only me. And as a stranger and outsider my view wasn't valued by anybody.
I stomped down the stairs thinking furiously of a way to stop this. Because no way could I endanger my people by losing Lexa to the ice nation.
Is that the only reason for saving Lexa? My heart pried. I felt my glare deepen at the ground in response to it.
Yes, I thought angrily, it is.
Liar, it beat back.
I threw aside thoughts of Lexa and instead focuses my mind on how to stop this fight. I couldn't help but think maybe there was no way. Even if Lexa won the ice nation would find another way to make war. They wouldn't stop until they had complete control.
So gain that control first! My mind barked.
I stopped walking when I realised what I had to do.
"Jes" I called knowing she wasn't far behind me. I heard her step up behind me and felt her eyes on me as she waited. I looked ahead at the city, "Where is prince roan being kept?" I asked.
"The cells below" she answered slowly, "I saw our men escort him and queen nia to the ground earlier"
"Is he allowed free before the fight?" I asked remembering how he'd been allowed to walk about before. I looked back at Jes' silence and met her curious gaze with an innocent look. She nodded once and I felt a little hope hit me.
"He is allowed time to prepare for the challenge," she informed slowly, "Same as the commander"
I nodded, "And his mother?"
"She is still a prisoner. She will be held under guard until the fight"
I nodded again and moved to take the next flight of stairs. My name was called before I could and I turned with the warrior towards the newcomer.
"Hadrian" Jes nodded in greeting. He gave her a nod and turned to fix me with a hard look. I looked up into his eyes and realised he was the guard from the meeting.
"Heda wishes to speak with you" he told me. I gave a last look to Jes and followed him back up the stairs.
I wondered what Lexa wanted. What she would tell me. Would she say she'd spoken to Titus and they'd agreed her fighting was lunacy? Maybe she was going to give me orders to leave and prepare my people for her death. I didn't know. And not knowing made me even more nervous.
I strode up to the throne room doors and Hadrian opened them for me. I walked in and looked in confusion at Lexa sat with a group of children.
"What is the three pillars of being a good commander?" She was asking them. I almost couldn't believe she was giving them a lesson on being a leader when she should be preparing to fight. I walked over to stand beside Titus and watched Lexa interact with the children.
"Talked her out of it yet?" I asked watching her smile at them.
"No" he sighed and looked back at me skeptically, "But maybe you can"
Been there, I sighed looking over at the commander again.
"I don't get it" I told him, "The queen isn't fighting. Why should she?"
"Why should she? The queen's strength isn't being questioned. Thanks to you heda's is"
He seriously doesn't like me.
I took his cold look and let his words sink in. He was right. Because Lexa chose to protect me instead of killing me the entire coalition thought her weak.
If she'd killed me she wouldn't be fighting to the death.
"Nightbloods" Titus' voice boomed through my thoughts and I looked up as the children formed a line. Lexa met my eyes and rose to her feet as the kids were lead out.
"Aden, stay" she called and the last boy in line stopped.
I looked over and recognised him as the one she'd been training this morning. I cast him a curious look and strode closer to them. He obediently left the line and stood back with his short sword gripped tight in his hand. Lexa walked up to him with a smile for me. The doors behind me closed and Lexa looked back at the boy.
"Clarke, this is Aden. Aden is the most promising of my novitiates. If I should die today, he will likely succeed me" I stared at her and she smiled back at the boy, "Clarke worries about our people. Tell her what will happen to them when you become Heda, Aden"
"If I become Heda," he began with a slight hitch to his voice and looked up at me, "I pledge my loyalty to the 13th Clan"
Lexa's eyes held mine like she'd just given me a gift. I simply stared back. I didnt understand her. How could she believe this would make things right?
"Thank you" she told him, "Now go join the others" he bowed to her and walked out of the room. I watched him go and then turned to her smile, "See?" she said, "Nothing to worry about"
I stared at her.
"I'm sorry if I'm worried the fate of my people lies in the hands of a child"
Lexa waved away my doubt with a calm look for me.
"Then you worry for nothing. I've sent Indra to raise an army from the villages near Arkadia" she turned her back and walked back up the dais to her throne, "Your people are protected, as I vowed they would be"
"This is not just about my people" I snapped and hesitated telling her about my personal concerns. Instead told her a warning, "You don't stand a chance against Roan"
Lexa's eyes darkened and I realised how I'd just insulted her
"You've never seen me fight" she snarled slowly.
"No, but I saw him kill 3 men in the time it took the first one to hit the ground"
I watched her eyes weigh heavy with hesitation at my words before she cast me a calm look.
"If you're right, today's the day my spirit will choose its successor, and you need to accept that"
I was fed up with hearing that. I knew she wasn't buying this gift of god bullshit either. Lexa was just as scared as I was for what would happen tomorrow if she died today. And to hide that she was trying to order me to stop worrying. Because getting me to accept it was the only way she could accept it herself. And that pissed me off. A lot.
I took a step forward and fixed my heda with an angry look. I bent my head a little as if I was going to share a secret with her and it surprised me how I had enough restraint above my rising emotions to speak level with her.
"Like hell I do"
I turned my back on her then and stormed out. The flash of commander rage in her eyes when I'd refused her command had done little to scare me but more than enough to motivate me into doing something about it. I would find a way to get her out of this. Because she had to see it wasn't only her head at risk here. It was all of ours.
I marched down the stairs of the tower, moving fast and determined as I reviewed lexa's reassurance in my head. I couldn't believe she would willingly leave her problems to a child. I couldn't believe she could willingly accept she could die and not care about it. It was brave at the same time it was stupid.
I can't let her throw everything away like that! I growled angrily to myself as I rushed down the last set of stairs to the ground.
The guards at the main entrance gave me directions to the arena where the fight would take place and I walked there quickly knowing I would find roan.
He could be talked around. I knew that because I knew what he wanted most. He wanted to return to his people. Dying in a fight against lexa would not get him that. And I knew he knew that from the nervous glance he'd given the commander when she'd announced herself as champion. Right now Roan would be thinking of ways out of this as well.
I thought desperately as I weaved my way through the busy market. If he refused to kill Lexa his mother would have to choose another champion. And Lexa could stand a chance at winning against them.
What if the queen refuses to choose another?
What if Lexa doesn't win?
I frowned down at my boots and stopped suddenly when I thought.
What if Nia died?
Roan would become king. He would go home. And in helping him gain all that he would be in debt to me.
My heart picked up its pace in hope as I renewed my rush to the arena.
I could stop this war.
I could stop Lexa from dying today.
I weaved in and out of more chattering people as I neared the arena. Many of them were speaking of the fight. Many claimed to have bets against their heda. It made me angry. After everything lexa had sacrificed and done for them they all seemed immediately happy to turn on her.
"I think wanheda will have a hand" I heard one man say as I edged around him. I stood still and watched him curiously. He was smiling at his friends and excitedly added, "I bet my best sword she will deliver the final blow to heda's neck!"
I drew back sickened. I wanted to tell him that would never happen. I was loyal to lexa. I would never help in killing her.
My nightmare returned to me in the moments it took them to laugh and I shivered. I would not do that.
I was turning to go when I heard the man's friend reply.
"I think wanheda will fight for the ice queen and kill heda herself. Her blood is owed commander blood"
I bit my tongue but couldn't help from striding forward to put them down. I wouldn't have rumours of my killing lexa circulated. I had enough concern for my safety here in the capital without adding mistrust from lexa on top of it.
"Heda will win this fight" I announced pausing behind them.
They turned and stared when they saw me standing there glaring at them. They immediately bowed and I strode forward to be boot to boot with the first speaker. He was taller than me but that didn't stop him from looking scared. I gave him a mean look and felt a lot of satisfaction in seeing him swallow his nerves.
"And when she does," I continued calmly, "It will not be by wanheda's strength. But her own. I'll have no hand in taking heads, unless they belong to those foolish enough to turn on their commander " I paused to let it sink in before I added nicely, "Are we clear?"
"Yes, wanheda" they bowed and nodded. I held in my smile at their fear and turned away. I was smirking a little as i pulled my hood up and continued my way through the crowd. That had felt good. Seriously good. And worse i didnt feel bad at all for threatening them.
I walked around the last stalls of traders selling cloth and edged through the shadow of the arena to hide beside an empty cart. My target was stood speaking with his mother as the guards unchained his wrists. I watched Nia speak with her son and I could see there was no love between them. She was simply a queen and he was simply another servant to bend under her.
He'll go for this deal. I was counting on it.
"When you kill Lexa, your banishment will be over" I heard Nia say as I crept closer, "In the wake of your victory, our people will be more powerful than ever. That will be your legacy and your legend"
I scoffed to myself. He would be free to go home but hunted by everyone loyal to lexa. Even with nia controlling everybody there was be those willing to fight in lexa's name. Like Indra. And Titus.
And me.
"Don't pretend you do anything for me, Mother" he spat back at her angrily. Nia gave her son a cold look.
"You're right. Everything I do is for Azgeda. What's good for Azgeda is good for you"
"Somebody get this woman the mother of the year award" I mumbled frowning to myself at her. How could she do it? Willingly lose her son to her enemy's sword? I couldn't help but wonder if Nia had a high view of her son's skill, or a wish to be rid of him for good.
She turned to the guard and accepted the sheathed sword off him. She held it in her chained hands and presented it to her son. He looked down at her before he pulled it out of the sheath and studied it. She took a step closer and I strained my hearing to catch her speech.
"If you won't fight for your mother or your queen, fight for your clan. I want her head"
I shivered at the look of murder in her eyes. They promised the prince death if he failed her. Which made me believe she cared very little for her son.
I turned my head as the queen was lead away. Roan began swinging the sword around himself, moving to practise harsh slashes through the air. I swallowed against the images in my mind of one of those slashes tearing through lexa's body. He moved back with each swing, coming closer to where I stood.
I stepped out from behind the crates and he turned suddenly with the sword pointed at my face. I remained still and breathed calmly out. We'd already played this game. He wouldn't kill me.
"Is that death I hear stalking me," he growled and i pulled the hood off my head, "Or just the Commander of Death?" he added softer.
I looked calmly back at him, "We need to talk"
"We have nothing to talk about. I need to prepare"
He turned and began his sword swings again. I took a step after him.
"I know you had nothing to do with Mount Weather" I began trying to piece up a little trust between us, "That's why I didn't tell Lexa you gave me the knife" He continued to ignore me to so I added coldly, "This is what your mother wanted all along"
He turned back to me, "What do you want? Spit it out"
"I want you to become the king" He stared back at me and i could see him think about it, "I know you've thought of it" I soothed watching him look away with his thoughts. I decided to help him make up his mind, "She was willing to let you die, willing to let you be banished. I know you just want to go home"
"When I win today, I will"
I frowned at his back as he turned away and I followed him. I didn't believe he trusted that. I knew he would go back and face this all over again another day because Nia would be alive to make that happen.
"For how long?" I argued gaining his attention again. "How long until your mother finds another reason to cast you out, to sacrifice you?" He seemed to be coming around. i could see it in his eyes. He knew what I said was true, "No one can cast a king out of his kingdom"
Roan turned back to me shaking his head, "I can't do it. My people would never take me back"
I saw his struggle then. And I saw his argument. He held no love for his mother but to kill her would make him a public enemy among his own kind. Even more than now. I realised the pressure I was putting on him and decided to let it go. I would have to find another way. I turned with a sigh for his cowardice and my failure.
"But…" I stopped and looked back at him. He was smirking at me with a changed glint in his eyes, "I can help you do it"
"How?"
Roan smiled and leant away to swing the sword again. His eyes drifted back to mine as he acted out beheading an invisible foe. I scoffed at him.
"i think beheading is a little obvious" I told him turning to leave again. He wasn't serious about helping me. He was mocking my intentions.
Roan grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him. He cast a look around us before he bent his head to speak lowly in my ear.
"Some deals are made in blood" he told me and I looked back at him confused. He smirked again, "I hear the blood of wanheda is very potent. Especially to her enemies"
I searched his eyes as he waited patiently for me to understand. I stood back and lifted my chin to him.
"Poison" He nodded at me, "How do I get my hands on that?"
"Leave that to me" He grinned and turned back to his practicing. I noted now that he put less force into his swings, as if he wasn't trying. It made me dare to hope this would work.
I walked away thinking hard again about how to do this without implicating lexa.
Nia wants your vote, my mind reminded. If I changed my vote she would see it as winning easy. Her power would double gaining the support of wanheda and she could cast lexa out. That gained me an audience at least. But the poison would be the hard part. Roan told me deals were made in blood. But what if she didn't go for it?
My heart banged nervously in my chest. It was making me feel sick. All this stress wasnt something I was used to anymore. I felt weak for letting it scare me.
I wandered the city for a while trying to piece together a plan that might work. I told myself to trust Roan to help me. Told myself he would do this because it saved him dying and it got him back to his people. As a man with no other choice he would work a deal with me. Just as he wanted to before when he offered me the knife to take lexa's life. I could trust him. I had to.
I walked up the market and spotted the stables ahead of me. I smiled seeing lexa's horse waiting for me and quickly stopped at a stall to trade for a few apples. I nodded at the trader, glad he could speak english, and promised to find him a rabbit for his dinner later. I tucked the apples into my pockets and strode over to the horse.
Straight away he moved to the fence to greet me, nose bumping my arm for attention. I chuckled and stroked his head as I brought an apple out of my jacket. His ears twitched and he quickly stole the fruit from me.
"Just like her, huh" I smiled patting his neck when he nudged me for more.
"Some would say too much"
I span my head round and immediately stood back from the horse as Lexa strode forward. Her eyes took us in and I saw the beginnings of a smile creep into her expression as she stopped beside me. Her shoulder brushed mine a little as she raised her arm to stroke the horse.
"He's beautiful" i told her staring at her smile as she allowed the horse to press his head to hers. Lexa glanced back at me with my compliment and nodded.
"Would you like to ride?" she asked keeping her eyes on the horse as she waited for my reply. I swallowed and shook my head. I could not and would not pretend everything was okay.
"I am.. honoured, heda" She looked back at me with my formality and i saw the happy spark leave her eyes, "But I must hunt to pay for these" I held the rest of the apples up to the horse who greedily accepted them, "And you must prepare for your fight. Excuse me"
I made to move around her but lexa grabbed my arm and turned with me. She stared deeply down at me with a slight frown.
"These things happen, clarke. We do not control them"
I nodded, "But we choose whether or not we let them kill us" I threw back. Lexa's eyes moved off me and I brushed her hand down.
I glanced over her shoulder and met the eyes of a grounder watching us under his hood by the stable wall. He made sure to catch my eye before he left the wall and walked through the market stalls. I remembered roan's promise and looked back at lexa. She was watching me carefully with a slight frown that said she was thinking hard about something. And something to do with her feelings. She touched my sleeve and I looked down at her fingers glancing my hand before I returned my eyes to hers.
"If I die today-" I shook my head at her. I didn't want to hear anymore inspiring bullshit about her spirit. I had to go fix this mess for her.
"Just don't" I told her angrily. I patted the horse a last time and walked away. Lexa didn't call after me like I expected. Just let me go. Maybe I'd pissed her off too. I didn't care.
I hurried down the street to where I'd seen the grounder disappear and quickly followed in his steps with a look around myself for lexa or her guards. The grounder was waiting for me by the bathing tents. I slowed my approach and worried for a second about my safety. He turned to me and lifted his hood. His eyes stared me down while his mouth was pursed thin. I could tell he didn't like me. Looking at his scarred face I could say the feeling was mutual.
"You have something for me?" I said stopping a few feet away.
The grounder glared a little and lifted his jacket aside to reveal his belt. I shook a little seeing his fingers glance the long knife tucked inside it. He reached for the back of the belt and untucked a little vial. He strode forward and handed it to me. Then without a word he walked away.
I watched him go and looked down at the clear liquid swishing in the vial in my hand.
Now, I thought turning to the tower, I kill Nia.
My heart was beating nervously in my chest as I strode towards the guarded room. I couldnt calm it down because it knew if i failed this i was fucked.
"Halt!" the guard growled drawing his sword. I lifted my chin and calmly looked back at him. I hid my surprise at the scarring over his right eye. Why would lexa let a prisoner be guarded by her own people?
"What do you want?" His partner questioned calling my attention back.
"To talk politics with the queen"
"Says who?" the first guard snapped. I strode forward and smiled.
"Wanheda"
They exchanged a brief look and i swore i saw a little fear in their eyes as they opened the door for me. I strode past them into the dark room. The queen was sat at a table enjoying her breakfast. I eyed the food. Even lexa never asked for a spread this fine. It made me hate nia even more for lording her position over others.
She looked up on my entrance and blinked surprised.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?"
I strode forward into the room, one hand clasped over the other to hide the dark patch on my sleeve where the poison was soaked. Nia's eyes followed me intently and mistrusting. A knife was held tight in her hand but I wasn't afraid. Just a little hesitant.
The door closed and I glanced into the corner of the room to the girl walking back to it from the table. My mind said she was a simple handmaid. But i didnt trust that strong gleam in her eyes as she watched me walk around the corner of the table towards her queen.
I turned back to Nia and met her gaze with an even stronger one.
"What if I changed my vote?"
I'd thought long and hard about how to distract Nia long enough to administer the poison. I believed she would fall for a change of mind. Many believed I was weak like that. Her own son had fallen for it and nearly died because of it after all.
"Now you're thinking like a leader of your people" She praised leaning back in her seat. I disregarded her praise and strode forward. I would need to be closer for this.
"I would need some assurances first" I warned stopping by the edge of the table. Behind me I heard the girl shift a little. I tensed my back just in case and kept my eyes locked on the queen.
"Skaikru will be safe" she reassured with a smile. I narrowed my eyes at her. I wasn't believing her for a second.
"And me?"
"My quarrel is with Lexa" she spat lexa's name and stabbed her knife into the table with a cold look up at me, "Not you. Once she's gone, I won't need the power of Wanheda"
Like hell.
I knew I would be the next on her kill order once lexa was gone.
"Ok" I agreed and she looked suspiciously back at me.
"Ok"?" she repeated and narrowed her eyes at me, "You don't want vengeance for the dead at Mount Weather?"
I held my anger in check and walked closer. I leaned forward and grabbed the knife, "My priority is with the living, not the dead"
Her eyes were trained on the knife and I thought about how easy it would be to stab her with it right now. I tightened my grip on the blade instead. This would need to look like i had no part in her death. Unfortunately for the handmaid, this would be blamed on her.
I locked eyes with the queen, "We bind ourselves in blood" I told her raising the knife and pressing it against my palm.
I clenched my jaw to the pain and let out a slight gasp. I watched my blood run down the fold of my palm as I squeezed it shut and wiped the blade over the poison on my sleeve. Nia was watching me with impressed eyes.
"I see you've learned our oath"
I ignored the praise in her voice and moved on, stabbing the knife angrily into the table in front of her "Do you accept?"
The queen rose and matched my daring look with an even colder stronger one. She took up the knife and raised it to her palm. I felt my nerves highten in anticipation as she pressed it lightly against her palm.
"We bind ourselves in blood" she agreed looking down at her hand.
"Wait!"
The girl cried and moved to stop Nia from cutting herself. I heard her step behind me to attack and quickly swung my elbow back to knock her away. She grabbed my arm and moved a hand to my waist to lift and then slam me into the table. Her arm braced across my throat to stop me getting up and lifted my other arm to her face. She sniffed it and looked back at her startled queen before she glared murderously down at me.
"Poison"
I glanced back scared at Nia and swallowed at the matching murder in her eyes too. She started wiping the knife on a cloth from the table, tilting her head to look down at me in anger.
"We could've been allies, Clarke. Instead, I declare you and your people enemies of Azgeda"
I swallowed again.
Idiot!
"Ontari, hold out your hand" I watched as the girl gave Nia her palm. She looked nervous as the blade came down against it but she took the pain easily.
"I'm letting you live for now to send a message to Lexa"
Nia cupped her hand across Ontari's and squeezed it above my head. I stared shocked and moved my face as the blood dripped down over it. I closed my eyes and squirmed a little to avoid the warm liquid hitting my cheek and nose.
Nia growled above me, "I have my own Natblida... and she will be the next Commander"
The dripping stopped then and I opened my eyes to stare up at the queen. She was grinning evilly back. She nodded at the girl and I was hauled to my feet. I wiped my face and stared at the black smudging my fingertips. I stared back at the girl and her bleeding hand. How was her blood that colour?
"Go on" Nia barked at me, "Go running back to your precious commander"
I glanced at the knife in her hand and gave a last look to Ontari before I strode quickly out of the room. My heart was running miles inside my chest as I walked quickly away from the queen's room towards the stairs. I stopped there and clutched the bannister tight as I closed my eyes and tried to breathe normally.
That had been close.
So damn close!
Now lexa would definitely die. If not by Roan's hand then by somebody else working for the queen. Just to send a message to me.
I was such an idiot.
I gritted my teeth and forced my mind to fall blank as images of lexa dying crept to the forefront of it. I didnt know what to do. I didnt know how to save her. I'd ruined her only chance at getting out of this.
I turned and sank to the floor. I knocked my head back against the railing and drew in a sharp breath to keep me from breaking into a sob. I needed lexa to live. My people needed her.
And you do, my heart told me gently.
"Clarke?"
I looked up at her familiar voice and stared in surprise when I raised my eyes and met the concern in Monroe's green ones as she knelt beside me and rested a hand on my knee. I frowned at her. I hadn't seen her since the mountain when she'd apologised before turning away with lexa's army. She was a grounder now?
"Are you okay?" her eyes drifted slowly over my face and she raised a hand to touch the blood on my cheek. She rubbed it against her thumb and frowned down at it.
"Tell me this is ink" she asked meeting my eyes again. I shook my head and stumbled up to my feet.
She rose too and gave me a hard frown.
"What's going on?" she demanded gripping her sword tight. I was going to tell her. I was going to warn her that our people were in danger. But a furious call down the stairs stopped me.
"Monroe!" We both turned to jess walking down the stairs. She gave monroe a hard look, "You have obviously learned nothing from being a second with Echo. If the commander tells you to be my second then thats-"
She stopped when she saw my face and like Mornoe reached over to swipe her finger through the stain on my skin. But unlike Monroe Jes knew exactly what it was.
"Whose blood is this?" she demanded. I told her and watched her expression turn from serious to super serious.
"The commander must know of this!" she started up the stairs and I hesitated before following. Monroe hopped up beside me and I glanced at her glare for jes' back.
"New warrior, huh?" I asked rushing with her after jes. Monroe frowned at the stairs and nodded at me.
"Im sorry about echo" I told her. She shook her head at me.
"Im the one whose sorry. I should have known what she was planning" Her eyes glared harder at the floor and I knew she was blaming herself for Mount Weather.
"How could you?" I returned with a gentle smile for her. She didnt smile back, just pushed on faster to avoid speaking with me. I sighed and focused on following.
We followed jes all the way to the top of the tower. She rushed in her haste to speak with her heda and I could see the tension rolling off her in waves. This blood meant something. And something seriously bad. I just didn't know what.
"Jes" Hadrian greeted at the door to the throne room. He moved his spear across it to block her path, "Titus ordered no interruptions"
I heard jes speak with him but I wasn't waiting for permission this time. I edged around her arguing with him to be allowed in and pushed his spear up. He shouted after me as I shoved my way into the throne room and made to grab me.
Lexa and titus looked up from their talks and both gave me a questioning look. A look that turned to immediate horror on lexa's part the moment she saw my face. She leapt up and rushed to me, hands reaching out to cup my face. Hadrian let go of my arm then and returned to his post with a sharp look at me. Lexa ignored him and the other warriors. Her eyes rushed over me for wounds and she looked back at me confused when she noticed the colour of the blood.
"Explain this" she begged holding my face gently in her hands. I touched her wrists and pulled them down with a shaky breath before I told her.
She walked away with a thoughtful look as I spoke. Titus had walked over during my explanation and was staring at the black blood staining my face. He turned to her.
"A Commander from the Ice Nation?" Titus seemed shocked. Lexa, not so much.
"Now all of Nia's provocations make sense, and we played right into it. She knew you would accept her challenge"
"I've never seen blood that color before" I said walking up to them. Lexa glanced back at it colouring my face.
"It goes back to the first Commander. When a nightblood child is found, they're brought here to be trained, or supposed to be" I frowned. Now I understood why they were called nightbloods. I studied lexa and wondered if she was the same. Clearly having it linked them to the commanders.
"You legacy is no longer secure" Titus muttered turning to lexa, "There is still time to choose a champion"
Lexa walked away with a growl, "You know I can't do that"
"Heda" He pleaded.
"Leave us!" she snarled with a wave to everyone in the room. I let them go before I turned back to her.
"Titus is right. You're giving her exactly what she wants"
"Only if I lose" she growled and I could tell she was tired of hearing my doubt in her strength. I looked away frustrated and she calmly met my eyes again, "I know you're just trying to help, Clarke, but there's nothing you can do here"
"I can't just let Roan kill you!" I burst angrily moving to meet her pacing. She fixed me with a hard stare and her voice rose with her comeback.
"If that is to be my fate, you must" she paused a moment and breathed before she continued, "You're driven to fix everything for everyone, but you can't fix this. I have to do this on my own, and you have to let me"
I shook my head at her. I wouldn't accept that.
"I won't just sit there and watch you die"
Lexa's expression changed with my hard look and she seemed to hesitate her words.
"Heda..."
I tilted my head behind me to where titus had reentered the room. I turned when he paused to give him an annoyed look for interrupting us. He was looking at her sadly and I felt my heart drop.
"Its time" he said gently.
"Then this is good-bye"
I turned back to her and found her watching me with eyes running all over my face. Like she might not see me again. I shook my head, begging her to stay with me. To not go kill herself over this.
"For now" she reassured quietly.
In my head I heard her say what her eyes were telling me.
May we meet again...
