CHAPTER 8- RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE VINCENT
-Somewhere in the Forgotten City forest ...place-
"What did I tell them?" Cloud grumbled, clutching his weak emo arm in his usual, emoish way. "I'm no good to help ANYONE." He then remembered all of his past screw-ups and all of the precious people he'd lost. Since Tifa wasn't dead, she wasn't a precious person. Geez, now this sounds like a Naruto ripoff. Precious people...Hmm hmm hmm...
"Are you done your insecurity moment?" asked Vincent Valentine in his sexy, scratchy voice.
Cloud nodded, inferior to the vamp's sexy, scratchy voice that makes Vincent fangirls swoon in delight. "Yeah, sure."
"Hmph." hmph'd Vincent, walking over to his old companion, clacking his pointy, metal shoes. Even though they were on the grass. Weird.
Suddenly, Vincent grabbed Cloud's arm for no good reason, only to give our blonde hero even more pain. He then let go.
"I come here often," Vincetn began, even though Cloud hadn't said anything. "On my path of corrupted love and vengence, I breathe the scent of distainful blood upon my treasoned flesh, never to touch the pure without staining their soul. And then, I wonder--"
"For the love of Gaia, no emo poetry, PLEASE!" Cloud intervened.
"Err, sorry."
Vincent stood, looking very emo and vampire-like. For he was a vampire... somehow. "So, I get no thanks for saving you?"
"Not really. I was hoping to reunite with Jessie."
"Who?"
"Umm... So, hey! What have you been up to?"
Vincent tried to smile, but it look painful on his pale face. "Well, apparantly, I stopped Kadaj's gang --Ha ha, don't laugh. I get the joke-- from killing those Turks. Pretty ironic actually since I used to be a Turk..." Vincent was suddenly lost in thought. "Lucrecia..."
Here we go again, Cloud thought, rolling his eyes.
"Lucrecia. LUCRECIA!"
Suddenly, a rustle came from the bushes. Cloud pulled out his giant sword, and Vincent, whilst regretting his own existance as well, hovered his hand over his pwnsome gun holster. But the two emos were disappointed. It was only Marlene, who launched herself at Cloud and tackled him. Well, at least tried to.
"CLOUD!!!11" Marlene shouted. Cloud's eardrums rang with her squeaky, annoying voice. "ZOMG! YOU'RE ALIVE!"
Uh, yeah, Cloud and Vincent both thought, tired of all of these perky, mindless people who always cornered them in their daily routines. Like Tifa, for example. Another example would also be Tifa.
"Can we order pizza?" Marlene asked, gesturing her hand for Cloud's cell. Cloud searched his deep, dark, dismal pockets of tragedy, but couldn't find his phone. Marlene groaned.
"Does Jasper have one?" she asked, pointing at Vincent. Vincent raised an eyebrow. "Jasper?"
Marlene sighed in frustration. "Grr, you emos are all the same! So, what DO you do in your spare time, Jasper?"
Vincent thought for a moment, embaressed to be confused with a mute vampire in some crazy new vampire 'romance' chick flick. "Well, besides mourning for my lost love, writing depressing poetry, and craving for the destruction of my immortal existance, not much else, actually."
Mega-emo, Cloud and Marlene thought, an anime sweat drop shown above their heads.
"I wanna go home!" Marlene cried randomly. "Can we go home, Cloud?"
Cloud shook his head. "No way. I gotta go wrangle some answers out of Rufus for soem unapparant reasons, and avoid that annoying Tifa at the same time."
Marlene then ran over to Jasp-- I mean, Vincent-- and hid under his magical red blankie-cloak thing. "I HATE YOU!" she screamed at Cloud. Cloud shrugged.
"Well, now you know how I feel when I go in that stupid bar. The only reason I go there is to steal Barret's Red Bull."
"So THAT'S where Dad's drinks have been going! You're a big, fat poop, Cloud!"
"So where are your wings then, Cloud?"
"Shut up, Vincent. Taht theme is so over-used."
"POOP! POOP!"
"Stop saying that, little girl."
"Ha ha! Jasper SPOKE!"
"......."
Cloud thought for a moment, then decided to take Marlene home. He didn't want to deal with her whining all day. "Let's go."
Marlene smiled. "Yay! My guilt-trip worked on you!"
"Guilt-trip?"
"Err, I mean-- RAINBOWS! w00t!"
#
-Edge, in the middle of teh city-
The little, mind-controlled children of Edeg circled that big hunk fo crappy metal-- otherwise knwon as the Midgar memorial statue. Well, it IS pretty stupid looking. And so out of place. And mysteriously gets super small when you play Dirge of Cerberus.
The local parents and citizens were outraged.
"Yo, I want meh childrun back!"
"I won't let my child be brainwashed by your Disney-sitcom ways!"
"That man it sick!"
Yes, they were clearly mad. Loz and Yazoo ignored them. Loz hugged his Hannah Montana plastic doll with insane affection, then placed it back into his leather pocket. Yazoo hummed the theme song that was vibrating throuugh his iPod's speakers. The tune never got old to him. After the song was over, he turned off his iPod, and placed it into his back pocket also.
Loz and Yazoo gave each other the thumb's up. Time to teach these losers the true meaning of senseless celebrity worship. With FULL POWER!
It's the beeeeeeeeeeest of both worlds! I mean-- To Be Continued.
Reno
Tifa
Rufus
Hollander
Loz
Denzel
Aerith
Kadaj
Vincent
