A.N: This chapter was almost going to be too long for ffnet. I ended up cutting early, wanted to get them all the way through college, but I think you'll like where it ends. I know I do. Sets up the next chapter nicely. As always, thank you for your patience and your reviews. For your reference, there's a timeline at the end of the chapter. ;) Hope you enjoy.
Suggested listening: Wait, Alexi Murdoch; Fade to Black, Alexz Johnson; Winter Winds, Mumford & Sons; Sigh No More, Mumford & Sons;Blinding, Florence + the Machine; Breathe Again, Sara Bareilles; Rainbow, Elisa; Words, Scars on 45;Chocolate, Snow Patrol; Strange and Beautiful, Aqualung; I'll Find a Way, Rachael Yamagata; Under My Skin, Rachael Yamagata; Still Love, Holly Brook; Like Blood Like Honey, Holly Brook; The Hardest Part, Coldplay; Out from Under, Britney Spears; Your Ex-Lover (Is Dead), Stars; Wanderful, Jericho
Chapter 10: Under My Skin
January: Noah's junior year, Rachel's sophomore year
Cory handed her the cup. "Pomegranate with actual pomegranate seeds, Fig Newton chunks, and dates. And chocolate syrup. Interesting choice."
Rachel accepted it with a small smile. "I know. Don't ask. Random minutiae."
Puck tossed her a pomegranate and gestured towards the kitchen. "Here, sit down. Gotta refuel."
"What are you doing?" Rachel sat at the side of the counter. Domestic, Noah? You don't do domestic.
Stop it. She leaned over and kissed Cory's cheek. "Thank you."
He shrugged. "You're welcome. It's just cool to be one of the few who you hang with. You're like, notorious at school now. No one graduates Juilliard early, but you're totally gonna do it."
Yes, I am. Rachel tucked her hair behind her ear and took a spoonful. "Well, it's been lovely working with you and I thought this would be a nice way to spend a Friday afternoon. Before things get crazy for my senior year."
"Aren't they always crazy with you?" Cory took a bite of his original with Cap'n Crunch. "Not to be mean or anything but...you're ridiculous, Rachel."
Rachel looked down into her cup, dipping her spoon in to swirl the deep purple red specks through.
Puck shrugged, opening the fruit and scraping the seeds onto the plate. "It's this ridiculous shit with my mom and my Nana. Actually, everything about them is ridiculous, especially now that Ma goes to temple to pray for me." He smirked, shrugging. "Nana bothers Ma sometime in the beginning of the year about some Jewish harvest or tree festival. So, she gets all these fruits, then she forgets all about them. I learned to check for 'em, since I actually like these." He popped a seed into her mouth. "You know, they say this is the food of the gods?" He traced her lower lip with his thumb.
Rachel swallowed hard. Stop it, Rachel! She shook herself. "Not everything," she managed, clearing her throat and turning her attention back to the melting mass in her cup. She licked her lips.
"I'd believe it." She darted her tongue out to lick at his fingers. Rachel! "How do you know that anyway?" Have you lost your mind?
He rounded the counter to slide his hands under her shirt and hoist her up onto it, leaning into her ear. "'Cause I am one," he murmured, nipping her earlobe before licking a hot line down her neck. "Sex God of McKinley High, baby..."
Rachel blinked, dropping her spoon into the empty cup. "That was lovely, Cory, thank you. Are you finished?" And can I be finished with Noah Puckerman?
"Yeah, I'm good. Walk you home?" Cory grabbed her cup, tossing both in the garbage and holding out a hand.
She took it warily, smiling tightly. Don't get any ideas, Cory...
"So, I guess I'll see you Monday." He kissed her cheek as they arrived at her building. "Have a good weekend, Rach." He waving as he walked back to the subway.
Look at you socializing, Rachel. She opened the door to the building with a small smile.
"Package, Ms. Berry." The doorman held out a priority mail box.
Here we go again. She frowned at it before signing and taking it, gathering the rest of the mail. "Thank you, Michael."
"It's marked 'perishable', Ms. Berry, so be careful."
"Thank you." Perishable? She shook the box lightly as she rode the elevator. Doesn't feel like a cake or anything. She let herself into the apartment and tossed the rest of the mail on the table. Do I want to know? A glance at the postmark confirmed it. Noah. She carefully opened the box and withdrew a bag wrapped in tissue paper and a post-it.
Sent this priority to make sure it reached you in time. Enjoy them. - Noah
She removed the tissue to expose a bag of dark chocolate covered pomegranate seeds. Damn it, Noah. Heaving a sigh, Rachel dropped the bag on the kitchen table.
Noah sighed. Damn it. Not right. He erased the last measure, and dropped the pencil on the stand, leaning back and rubbing his hands over the back of his head. The fuck is missing? He hummed the bar, and groaned. "Female fucking vocalist. Shit. I'm gonna have to fly Quinn to New York with me for NYU," he muttered. Too bad you can't have Rachel sing for you. He snorted. That's for fucking sure. He frowned at the sheet music. "Should I?"
Blowing out a breath, Noah pulled up the Juilliard website, clicking over to the admissions requirements. "Audition. Dates." He frowned as he read. "What the - pre-screening?" Must be pre-screened to audition. And the deadline. It just passed. He slammed his hands on the desk, spinning away. "Fuck."
"Noah? Are you all right?" Ilana called, climbing the stairs. "What is it?"
He scratched the back of his head as she walked into the room. "Sorry, Ma. I'm just - it's like the whole fu- thing with Rachel. Just a little too late." That shit can't keep happening by the time I get there. He spun the laptop towards her. "I, uh...I was gonna try for Juilliard," he said quietly.
"You were - oh, Noah!" Ilana leaned closer to the computer. "Last week?"
"Yeah. Like I said - just a little too late." The fucking story of my life. Just close enough that I feel like shit.
Ilana eyed him cautiously. "Would you - could you call Rachel?"
Are you fucking serious? He stared at her blankly. "Um, no." That'd be fun. Hey Rach, can you pull some strings so I can audition? I think it'd be awesome if we went to the same school.
"Well, I had to ask," his mother said, rolling her eyes. "How about Mr. Schuester? Would he know anyone?"
"I -" Well, shit. "You know, I don't know, Ma. He kept trying to talk me into applying. I just - I don't know. I didn't know if I was good enough for Juilliard."
His mother poked him in the shoulder. "Good enough for Juilliard or good enough for Rachel?" she teased. "Whatever, don't answer, just go call your other Will." She dropped a kiss on his head. "Let me know what happens."
"What are those?" Dan sat across from Rachel at the table, raising a brow. "You're looking at them like you want to hug them and throw them away. I'm sensing..."
"A care package? That would be the correct assessment, Dad." Rachel sighed. And an easy one to make, since I react this way every single time. "He's unbelievable." She passed him the bag of seeds.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Noah dropped into a seat at the kitchen table, waving to his mother. Gotta get my hearing checked. "You - you sent -"
"I sent in a recording for pre-screening at Juilliard." Will Schuester's smile was clear in his voice. "We had done a few takes that I thought sounded good. I passed it to an old professional colleague of mine, told her to screen it with the rest, let me know the results. If you decided to apply, there wouldn't be a problem. And if you didn't, I would've kept it to myself until I needed to tell you. Heck, if I needed to tell you. This is the best case scenario."
"Un-fucking-believable." Noah shook his head as she squeezed his shoulder. "I can't - why would you do that, Mr. Schue?" People keep taking chances on me...
"Because I've been working with you for a year, Noah, and you're really talented. Why wouldn't I? I knew you wanted to go to school in New York, I just expanded the field. It's a stamp and a phone call. I'd do it again. And look how well it worked out. Come by the apartment tomorrow, I'll give you the letter and you can fill out the rest of the application."
"I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Schue." This is fucking unreal. "And um..." He swallowed down the lump in his throat. "Thanks."
"No problem, Noah. My pleasure."
"Thanks." Dan picked out a seed, examining it before tasting it. "Oh, that's delicious! He's got good taste." He snatched the bag closer. "Honey, after..." He leaned back in his chair, making a show of counting. "What's it been, five?"
"This makes six," she muttered. Damn him.
"Six - wow, that's dedication for a boy - in a month and a half, I don't find it so unbelievable anymore." He grabbed another handful of seeds.
Rachel rolled her eyes. "What good is this kind of dedication? What am I missing here? I don't respond. I don't send him packages. I don't even read or listen or look or...whatever." Much.
"Sweetheart, I don't even have to consult with your father on this one." He pushed the bag back towards her and stood. "That lovely set of archival quality storage boxes we bought you tells me exactly what good it is to him." Dropping a kiss on her head, he squeezed her shoulder on his way out. "You didn't return anything either. See you in the morning for the tour."
Grumbling, she grabbed the bag and stalked to the bedroom to sit on the floor. No, I didn't. I couldn't. Rachel popped a seed in her mouth as she tugging the boxes out from under the bed, opening the first. She smoothed her hand over the CD case. Never made it past the first minute and a half. Laying that aside, she pulled out the sealed large manila envelope, flipping it to the front to see "Photo inside" stamped repeatedly. Don't want to know. She sighed at the next envelope, marked Private. Moment of weakness...She opened it to withdraw the letter, unfolding the worn paper. Closing her eyes, she conjured his voice in her head with a hitching sigh.
"Hey Rach. I hear you're not reading these and that's okay. I wonder whether the markings actually make a difference. I should ask Will.
I miss your lips. I miss you sighing my name. I miss how you fit in my arms. I'm sorry I was an ass. I promise I'm a better man now, and that's because of you. Just thought you deserved to know."
No signature, nothing. She replaced the letter and swiped at her cheeks. Not that I needed it.
She pulled the folder from the pile, opening it to run her fingers down the notes. Still writing beautiful music. Damn it. Rachel sang softly.
"Feel I'm on the verge of some great truthWhere I'm finally in my place.
But I'm fumbling still for proof
And it's cluttering my space
Casting shadows on my face
Though I have the strength to move a hill,
I can hardly leave my room.
So I'll sit perfectly still,
And I'll listen for a tune
While my mind is on the moon..."
Rachel closed the file, exhaling. And I couldn't help but open it. Packaging. She shook her head at the front cover. Sheet music. Confidential. He knew I couldn't help but open it. And he got someone else to write the label.
She secured the lid back on the box and opened the next, looking down at the shrunken Space Bag stored inside. Reaching underneath it, she pulled the envelope out and removed the card.
A simple New York City skyline decorated the front. The back was blank but for heavy black pen strokes. "Heard it gets chilly out there. Figured you could use this more than I could. Looked better on (and off) you anyway."
Pressing her lips together, she shoved the card back inside, and pushed both the papers and the McKinley sweatshirt under the bed again. At least this I can get some use out of. Grabbing the bag, she threw herself onto the bed, popping pomegranate seeds. Just don't think about him. Focus on the school tours tomorrow. She took her spreadsheet of graduate programs from her nightstand. No use looking back.
"I'm back, Ma. Mr. Schue says hello." Tossing the application on the table, Noah sank into a chair. Friday, I was just hoping NYU liked me. Saturday, I'm applying to motherfucking Juilliard. "Do you think I'm crazy?" He looked at his mother, rubbing his hands over his face. "Going to New York, to Rachel's school. Is it - is that too much?"
"Is that -" Ilana shoved his shoulder. "Noah, you're asking your Jewish mother. You want an unbiased opinion, you'll have to call the professional."
Noah laughed, rolling his eyes. Like I wasn't gonna call anyway? "Yeah, true. If I left it to you -"
"We would've made your trip a mitzvah at temple." She kissed his cheek. "Listen to me. If you're trying for Juilliard just to mess with her, that's not fair to them or her or you. If you think you would be happy there yourself, without her? Then by all means."
He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "But it's...Juilliard." And I'm still just me.
"So? They can say no. But they can't say yes if you don't try. And they already did say yes, they want to hear more."
Raising a brow, he nodded. Well, shit. She's right. I gotta remember that. "I'm gonna have to call Will. The original one."
"Tell him hello, sweetheart, and that I hope one day we'll have a reason to see each other again." She waggled her eyebrows.
"Ma!" Fuck, she's worse than I am. Noah glared at his mother.
"Oh, please. She's Rachel Berry. Any Jewish mother in this town would be hoping the same." Ilana handed him the landline. "Come find me if you want to talk after."
I think you've said enough, Ma. Shaking his head, he dialed.
Will paused as his phone rang, looking up from his paperwork to answer it. "Hello, Noah."
"Hi, Will." How's Rachel? "How are you?" Huh. He sat up straighter in his chair with a smile. I actually care about his answer too. I'm actually liking someone's parents. Holy shit.
"Fine, son, just doing some administrative work before Rachel and Dan get back from another school tour."
He rubbed a hand down his face. Damn it, Rach. "She's still graduating early?"
"Oh, absolutely. She's looking at graduate programs. Well, she's been looking at programs. This is her narrowing it down."
"Um, that's kind of what I'm calling about, actually. Music programs. At different schools. Still in New York City." Fuck, I sound like a jackass. "Well, one in particular."
Will rolled his eyes. "Spit it out, Noah."
"I want to audition at Juilliard." He rushed the words out, closing his eyes. Tell me I'm not crazy. Or that I am. Something.
Will pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course you do," he muttered. He took a deep breath. "Juilliard."
"Yes, sir." Shit! Sir? Again? He slapped himself on the forehead. "I just...I never thought I was...y'know, like, good enough for Juilliard."
"So then why now?"
Yeah, why now, Puckerman? He blew out a breath. "Because even if I don't get in, the only voice I hear singing in my head lately is Rachel's," he quietly confessed.
"Oh, Noah." Will leaned back in his chair, smoothing a hand over his face before continuing. "Noah, I don't know about this."
"I know. I don't either. But Ma was saying if I could be happy there without Rachel, then I have to try. And as much as I love her -" Puckerman! "-voice, love her voice -" The fuck is wrong with you.
"Noah, I know you love my daughter," Will laughed. "Relax. You were saying?"
Of course he fucking knows, Puckerman. "It's Juilliard. I wanna do music stuff. Mr. Schue sent in a CD of my stuff and they invited me to audition. If they're willing to let me, I gotta try." Got nothing to lose by it, and just about everything to gain.
"There now. Was that so difficult? You want to do it for yourself. In that case, I'll wish you luck. When are you in town?"
"Well, auditions are the end of February, pretty much everywhere. I think Mr. Schue is coming with me or putting me up with a friend of his." Because getting me the audition isn't enough. He shook his head.
"You know we'd offer, but -"
Noah burst out laughing. That would be fucking nuts."Yeah, that'd work." He rubbed a hand over his mouth. "Did she get -"
"The seeds? Yes. You know, it's really interesting symbolism."
"Huh?" Symbolism?
Will laughed. "How well do you know your Greek myths?"
"Some general stuff. Like pomegranates are the food of the gods." And are easy to mail in chocolate covered form.
"Well, they're also very significant in a particular myth, Hades and Persephone. You should take a look sometime. In any event, I think I hear the door, so I'm going to go debrief. Let me know what your plans are, and if the lodging becomes an issue, let me know, we'll see what we can do."
Noah shook his head. "Will, I - I really appreciate all you've already done. I just - I can't believe you'd be so good to me after..." After I broke Rachel's heart.
"Noah, you've taken great strides and gone to great lengths to prove you're not that guy anymore. And no matter what Rachel may say, I can see the fractures in her. She is going to have to face whatever may be left between you two, and she still hasn't, not really. In the long run, helping you helps her. When you get here, when you two talk - and I know you'll talk, it's inevitable - I want you both in a place where you can both talk and listen. And you're there. Why wouldn't I help? Lest you forget, she told me to."
Sighing, Noah booted up his computer. "Yeah, I know. And that still shocks the shit out of me." Especially knowing how much I hurt her.
"Then maybe you don't know her as well as you think, Noah, because it doesn't shock me a bit," Will said proudly. "I'll talk to you soon, son, and good luck."
"Thanks, Will. Tell everyone hello." And tell Rach I'm coming back to her as fast as I can. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
Will chuckled. "You know, the scary part of that is I will, and that includes Lori and Connor, apparently."
Noah laughed. What a fucked up world."Yeah, well, I don't think Connor is a fan, but Lori's actually pretty awesome."
"Daddy?" Rachel called down the hallway. "I think Dad and I have a winner." And I have something to aim at again, a purpose to keep me centered and focused.
"Just a minute, baby girl," Will called. "Look, Noah, we'll talk soon, all right?"
Noah closed his eyes. Rachel."Yeah, sorry, tell her hello, and I'll talk to you later. Thanks." For more than you know.
"Not a problem." Will hung up and went to join Rachel in the living room. "What's up, buttercup?"
Rachel grinned. I love my parents. "Daddy! You haven't said that since I was a baby." She kissed his cheek. "Busy morning?"
"Paperwork, and a little Noah. He says hello."
"Oh." Of course. It's as though he has surveillance on me sometimes...Rachel cleared her throat. "How - how is he?"
"You know you could always call him or read those letters and find out, right?" Will nudged her. "He's fine. But I'm sure the care packages tell you a lot more than I could."
That's what I'm afraid of. Rachel sighed, leaning on his shoulder. "I know, Daddy, but...I just - I can't." It's too painful.She closed her eyes. "Those letters...those packages...those are all the work of the man that I knew was in him all along. It's just two years too late. So while I want to read, and listen, and know...it hurts." Every single time.
Will held her to his chest, dropping a kiss on her head. "I know, sweetheart, but I'll tell you this. You're not alone in that."
Swallowing hard, Rachel nodded. Except that I didn't ask him to break my heart and I didn't break his heart either - he broke both all by himself.
Her father squeezed her tightly, pulling back to look into her face. "So, school tours?"
Noah frowned at the screen. What the hell am I supposed to be searching for? He pointed the browser to Google, rubbing his hands over his face. Something about pomegranate seeds and Hades...He snorted. Wiki. Figures. He clicked the link and skimmed.
"Persephone...Underworld...kidnapped? Kinda badass. Oh, shit." He moved closer to the screen, running his finger along the line. Am I reading this right? "It was the rule of the Fates that anyone who consumed food or drink in the Underworld was doomed to spend eternity there. Persephone had no food, but Hades tricked her into eating six pomegranate seeds while she was still his prisoner...six months." He sat back from the screen. Holy fucking shit. Totally not what I meant. He smirked. "But I wonder..." He flipped his phone open to send a text message.
Will nodded. "So, dual major with music theatre and music business. That actually makes sense."
"Precisely, so I won't have to be concerned about being taken advantage of." Not in the professional context anyway...Rachel bit back her frown. Focus on the topic. "I will have the knowledge myself of what a favorable contract looks like. Accordingly, NYU seems to be the best fit. The Steinhardt program is well-regarded, and I believe I would have little difficulty with admissions." Especially not with the single-minded focus I intend to apply to the task.
"Well, looks like we have a plan then," Dan said.
Will nodded again, frowning quickly as his phone vibrated. He checked the display to find a text.
How many did she eat?
Will swallowed his laughter. "Rachel, honey, are there any more of those seeds left?"
They didn't survive, not chocolate covered and deliciously reminiscent as they were.She pressed a hand to her breastbone briefly with a bittersweet smile. "No, Daddy...I can get you more though, I'm sure." Rachel reflexively licked her lips.
Will typed back and hit 'send' before turning back to her. "No, it's fine."
Noah lunged for his phone as it danced across the desk and flipped it open, dropping into the seat to read the reply.
The whole bag.
He laughed until he lost his breath. I'm coming, Rach. I'm coming for you.
February
"How're you feeling, Noah?" Will Schuester clapped him on the shoulder. "Ready?"
Ready? Noah shrugged. I don't know if I'm ever gonna be ready for this."Yeah, I guess."
"And you're all set with a place to stay - Robert always goes away that last weekend in February, he'll leave the key with the doorman, just show your ID."
"I know, thanks. Got NYU first, then Juilliard. Everyone else is getting the recording I sent Juilliard." Only one actual in person audition, and one in person interview. Totally got this.
Will nodded thoughtfully. "Sounds like a plan."
"Yeah, I..." Noah swallowed. Fuck it."I don't know, Mr. Schue, I'm getting...I'm getting nervous." Stupid fucking shit. "It's..."
"Scary?"
"Fucking terrifying." Noah shook his head. Badass, Puckerman, what the fuck happened to badass?
"What's so terrifying? You've performed in front of audiences before, you've performed semi-indecent things in front of bigger groups before. You're just playing your music, Noah. And that's only for NYU - Juilliard wants a recording, you just have to talk about it. What's to be afraid of?"
That I can't get to her. He pressed his palms to his eyes. "The first time...fuck, I didn't really expect to get anywhere. So the rejection was no surprise, and it didn't even really phase me. I wasn't even there. They didn't reject me. But this time, it counts, y'know? I've really been working on it. And I have to sit there across from the - whatever the fuck, judges, professors, whoever - while I play or talk about songs I wrote from the shit I've been through." Past tense? Really, Puckerman? Like you're not still in the thick of it.
"That's exactly what they're hoping to hear, Noah, I promise." Will peered casually at the sheet music on the stand as he continued. "So, is Rachel showing you around the city?"
"What?" What the fuck is he asking me about Rachel for? He scoffed at himself. Maybe because all of Lima knows she's in New York? "Uh, no, I um, I didn't - I'm not there for long, Quinn and I did that tourist stuff when we were there."
"You don't have to downplay it, Noah, I've been working on these songs with you." Will sat across from him. "Does Rachel know you're in love with her?"
"Wait, what?" When the fuck did everyone learn to see through me?
"Give me your portfolio, then, and tell me I'm wrong." Will smiled. "I've listened to these songs, I've sung them with you. Noah, it's pretty obvious." He paused, frowning briefly. "Quinn knows, doesn't she."
He nodded. Shit. "Yeah, she knows. She's known since we were in New York."
"You're trying to get back to Rachel. Does she know that at least? Have you talked to her?"
"I tried, she doesn't want to. Not until I'm there. So that's what I'm aiming for."
"And that's why you're scared." Will sighed. "Look, if there's anything I've learned about love, through all that crap with Terri and now that I'm with Emma...Love takes a lot of faith. You've got to have faith in yourself before it's going to work with anyone else. And I've seen that faith in you. You know these songs are good. All you're going to do is perform them, talk about them. You know what your music is. Don't think about too much more than that."
"When the fuck did I lose my edge?" Noah snorted a laugh. I'm getting romantic advice from the guy with the psycho ex-wife. "I was the fucking man in high school, and now I'm the one chasing after a girl."
Will laughed. "Noah, you haven't lost anything. You just found the right girl to get you motivated to grow up. You weren't 'the man', you were in high school - definitely ahead of the curve, but you still had a lot to learn. That's what life is, a long process of growing up and figuring out who you want to be and how to get there. In your case, it seems like you've found that out. She just pointed the way."
"And I just saw it too late." And fucked it all up along the way. Noah shrugged. "Mind running this with me again?"
"Not at all. One of my favorites."
Noah grabbed his guitar and began to sing.
"Far off in the distance your lighthouse shines for
those who dare approach your cold rocky shore
Somewhere in your gardens, I'm hangin' on
Right outside of Babylon
Around the world, seven wonders I've wandered through
this selfish fantasy
searching for you
Buildings will crumble and statues will fall
but I still find it wanderful,
selfish and all..."
"Noah, is that you?" Ilana stuck her head out of the kitchen to peer at the door. "How was rehearsal?"
"It was fine." He set his guitar case down at the foot of the stairs. "I'm freaking out, I think."
"Get in here."
Oh, shit. Maybe I shouldn't have said that...Noah cautiously approached. "Yeah, Ma."
Ilana shoved his shoulder. "Don't give me that garbage, you're fine. You're nervous about her, about her reaction."
Well, fuck. "Can you blame me? If she's at the auditions -"
"Do you know for certain about that? That she's helping for them?"
Like I wouldn't find out for sure? "Yeah, I emailed Will my itinerary and asked him, he said she's a volunteer assistant."
"And are you sure about this going alone? I'm sure I can convince someone to let Sarah sleep over and -"
"Ma, no. Thanks, but no. Money is tight enough around here, no need to waste it." Save it for if I get in.
"I wouldn't consider it a waste, Noah." She kissed his cheek. "You let me know."
"Ma, I'll be fine. Mr. Schue's friend is out of town, I'll crash there. All I'm doing is eating, sleeping, rehearsing and auditioning. It's nothing exciting." Unless I get to Rach. And then I definitely don't want you there.
Ilana sniffed dismissively. "Says you. I happen to disagree."
"Here's a surprise, I disagree."
Rach...He sighed. "I know, Ma, but it'll be fine." And hopefully I get a free ride, or a lot of scholarships..."Thanks for talking me down. Between you, Will and Mr. Schue, you're absolutely right. I'm good. It's about fucking time." He caught his mother's disapproving look. "Sorry, language, I know."
She shook her head. "That look wasn't for the colorful choice of words. It's because you're right. It's past time."
Late February
"Last audition is running late with technical difficulties on the recording playback, J, want me to call the next?" Rachel glanced at the girl chewing her fingernails just beyond the doorway. "The 9:45 is beyond ready. She's come up to me several times." And I'm about to tell her that she's slightly flat on everything below her break, and is diminishing her chance of being accepted by incessantly pestering me.
"Sure, let's take her. But just be sure you skip the practice rooms till later." She tossed her hair over her shoulder and gave Rachel a half-smile. "Quinn is running that sign-up list, I'd rather you not disrupt it until your full break later."
And Quinn already finds me distasteful. It must be the name. "You know me too well, J." Though this time, I can enjoy the animosity - knowing its source is my dominance here.Rachel smiled. "I can wait."
"Good. Behind me, flip through the scores, help critique. You get a break around noon, let's see how many worthwhile candidates we see before then."
Rachel giggled and took her seat. This should be entertaining. The nervous young girl took the stage. Rachel flipped through the music in front of her as the recording began.
"But it was not your fault but mine
and it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
didn't I, my dear?
didn't I, my dear?"
But I'm gonna fix it. I'm gonna do it right. Noah lowered his hands from the guitar, clearing his throat and looking out at the panel. First I gotta get here.
"Thank you, Mr. Puckerman, and I'm glad that you decided to try us again. And this is all original work? Not even sampling?"
You fucking kidding? Noah shook his head. "No, sir, totally original."
"And someone plays the banjo, I see?"
"Uh, yes, sir." Don't judge. Noah cleared his throat. "This is the acoustic version, but I also hear a richer instrumentation in my head, and that's the score you have." Nice, Puckerman, you sound like you know what you're talking about. All that prep did something.
"Hmm. Fair enough, thank you again." Taking off his glasses, the head of the panel smiled. "Please watch for our decision in the mail."
"Thank you for your consideration." Noah stood, smiling and inclining his head slightly as he walked from the stage. Well, one down, right? He exhaled heavily, rolling his shoulders. And this wasn't even the major one.He glanced down at the time on his cell. Time enough to grab lunch, then my Juilliard interview at 12:30. And then, Rachel, hopefully...
"I truly believe that music is the best vehicle with which to express my creativity. I think Juilliard would be an excellent fit because its program is highly regarded and will encourage me to grow." The young man's voice sounded void of enthusiasm, quavering just slightly.
Right. You and everyone else. At least I didn't lie about wanting to be a star and seeing Juilliard as the stepping stone to that. Rachel flipped through the sheet music, stopping at a familiar looking hand. That seems like - Stop it, Rachel, it can't be. She scrutinized the staff paper. But it - the handwriting actually appears alarmingly like - She looked up, clapping as the rest of the audience did. Thank goodness, I need a break from this. I'm losing my mind. That man across Union Square last week was not him. The package of pomegranate seeds was a coincidence, not any other symbolism. She swallowed a bemused snort. And if it were, I'm sure he didn't mean it the way in which I interpreted it. Where he may think he is claiming me, I am taking the warrior's stance of invincibility, I am arming myself against him. Though not for battle.She leaned forward towards the table. "Don't all the rehearsed answers make you insane? They sound like pageant contestants. How do you all do this all day?"
Ms. Jacobsen chuckled. "We get paid to. Go take your break, Rachel. Sorry we're running so late on that, the tech crew really needs to overhaul the wiring."
She nodded and stood. "May I use the practice room now?" I have to clear my mind. I'm starting to see him everywhere.
Rolling her eyes, her choir director nodded. "Go. Take the sign ups from Quinn, but go ahead."
Rachel snatched up her bag and hurried down the hallway. I should have a solid half hour to myself, to sing and to center myself...
"Next." Tricia Jacobsen looked down at her clipboard. "Noah Puckerman?"
Fuck. She's not here. What do I do? He stepped forward to take his spot. "Good afternoon."
"Good afternoon. You've sent your recording on CD?"
This time, yeah. "Yes ma'am, you should have it."
"Cue the recording please?" She tilted her head, waiting for the tech crew to comply. "The next recording?"
"The playback isn't working. We're checking a wire, please stand by." The voice came over the speakers, annoyed.
"Technology. Why do we bother..." Jacobsen sighed, shaking her head. "My apologies."
Noah sat, wiping his palms against his slacks. Like I wasn't already panicked about this. We get to sit here and stare at each other for a while.
"Anything?" Ms. J tossed her pencil down on the table. "Is there a wire?"
"We're searching for the short, we're very sorry, but this is a complicated job." The tech crew clicked off again.
Channel your inner diva, Puckerman, it's your only shot. "Actually, with your permission, so we don't hold up the process anymore -" since you're already an hour behind "- I could perform live. I just auditioned at NYU, so I'm warmed up and ready. In fact, if - if Rachel Berry is available, I don't think it should be a problem. She and I went to school together, I know she'd pick this up easily."
Ms. Jacobsen took off her glasses and ran a hand through her hair, looking at him skeptically. "It's been a strange morning, I'll bite. Quinn, could you go grab Rachel from Practice Room 3?"
Quinn? Noah bit back a laugh as a slim redhead peeked in from the hall. And from the look on her face, the chick is jealous of Rach. She must love that. "I appreciate it. If you'd like to get the score from the portfolio, the piece is called 'Your Ex-Lover'."
Tricia Jacobsen tilted her head, regarding him curiously. "Sounds intriguing."
Time to reclaim this song once and for all. "Hey, Mr. Arnstein…here I am…" Rachel held the note out, closing her eyes and letting her voice reverberate. "I'll march my band out...I'll beat my drum, and if I'm fanned out - your turn at bat, sir - at least I didn't fake it - " She cut off at a knock. Turning towards it, she opened the door. "Quinn?"
The other girl huffed, rolling her eyes. "J wants you onstage."
"What?" Rachel frowned. I thought I was on break. "What's going on, is everything all right?"
"Look, she wants you onstage. Go or not, I did my job." She spun on her heel and stalked off.
"Not my fault Cory prefers to carry a torch for me than date you," Rachel muttered, gathering up her music. What could J need me for? Maybe she forgot something in the office? But why would she ask for me onstage? Handing Quinn the clipboard with a syrupy sweet smile, Rachel headed back to her original post.
"Give her two minutes," Tricia said, gesturing the panel up. "Go get a cup of tea if you like."
Noah sat on the side of the stage, shadowed by curtains. Just chill, Puckerman. It'll be fine. His heart raced as he tried to tune his guitar. She's gonna be shocked. But she'll do it. She'll sing. It's Rachel.
Rachel took a long drink from her thermos of tea, purring quickly to prep her voice before stepping onto the stage. If I'm on the stage, I'm going to be ready to perform."Ms. J? You needed me?"
"The playback broke down again, Rachel, and our next audition actually specifically requested -"
"Rachel." His voice was soft. Focus, Puckerman, you are not going to grab her. "Rach."
Her head whipped to the side. No. No, this can't be.
You are still so fucking beautiful. He stood slowly, holding out a hand. "How about now? I'm here."
"Mr. Puckerman here doesn't want to hold up our audition schedule, and is offering to perform live if you'd sight read for him. Apparently you went to school together?"
"I wrote this for you," he said quietly. "Everything I've written lately has been for you." Did you listen to the CD? Even a little?
Answer your director, Rachel. "We - we did," she managed. He's - why is he - this is - I can't, he can't be here, he just can't...
He held out sheet music, swallowing hard. Here goes the entire audition. "Sing with me?"
With you? Your music? She took it from his hand reflexively. "I -" can't, don't make me...
Jacobsen glanced between the two with a small smile. "Can you pick up the harmonies?"
She looked down at the music. This is gorgeous. "Yes, I - I think I can, b-bu-"
"Fantastic, let's get back underway." She waved the other faculty back to their seats. "Whenever you're ready, and then you can take your break, Rachel, you and Mr. Puckerman can catch up. Your singing test is in a couple of weeks, you can take some time to chat with a friend."
I don't - but - She avoided his eyes and focused on the score before her.
She's here. She's right here. He reached across to point out her entrance, brushing her hand with his. Rachel...
She shivered, her breath speeding up. You're almost a professional, Rachel Berry. You pull yourself together. And do not think about why. Not now. Focus. "Thank you," she murmured tightly. "Will you cue me in?"
He licked his lips. Anything. "I'll give you a cue, but you'll feel the entrance when I hit the chord."
She nodded. "Ready whenever you are." To sing. Nothing more. I can perform with anyone.
Noah watched her intently. I hope that's true, Rach, because I'm not giving up. He played the intro, drawing a breath before he started to sing.
"God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said yes I think we've met before
In that instant it started to pour..."
Rachel fought the urge to shake her head.
"Yeah, um, hey, Puck, it's Rachel, why don't you guys talk?" Mercedes turned a panicked gaze to the brunette diva.
"Noah? What is it?" As Mercedes turned away, Rachel cupped his face in her hands. "Noah -"
He dragged her from the school, slamming into the truck and speeding off to the reservoir. He parked and started tearing at her clothes. "Rachel..."
What is going on? "Noah, I'm here." She grabbed a blanket behind them, stripping her bra and his shirt away to press against him. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm here, Noah...
He pushed and pulled, tugged and marked, before rolling on a condom and sinking inside her with a guttural moan. "Rachel..."
She tipped her head back on a gasp, a shiver rolling through her.
"Fuck, yes, just like that...Let me see you..." Puck stroked a thumb over her cheek, flipping her onto her back and turning her face to his. "Open your eyes, Rach..."
She forced her eyes open, glazed and hot on his. "Noah..."
"Fuck, yes..." He moved rhythmically into her, strokes coming harder as moans spilled from her lips. "Yes, cum for me, let go, baby..."
"Noah!" She arched and ground her hips into him, whimpering as her inner muscles milked him.
"Rachel..." He groaned and followed her over the edge.
Rachel clung to him, shuddering and catching her breath as thunder crashed. What is going on? She nuzzled into his neck with a sigh. I'm here...
He stroked her hair, watching outside as the sky darkened with clouds. "I signed the papers."Another crash of thunder, and rain poured down outside the truck. "She's - she's right, they're good people. Mr. Schue and Pillsbury - they picked the right couple."
Oh, Noah...Rachel stroked his chest under the blanket. "I gathered there was some reason you dragged me from study hall. Not that I didn't enjoy it."
He traced his hand from her hair down her spine, resting on the curve of her behind. "If this is growing up, I don't ever fucking want to."
"I know," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his lips. She straddled him and closed her eyes, kissing him deeply. I know you don't want to, Noah. And I hope I don't live to regret that.
Rachel inhaled shakily, skimming the words as her heart ached. Damn it, Noah. Licking her lips she started her verse.
"This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but
you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin..."
Do you get it yet, Rachel? Do you hear me? He joined her in the chorus.
A fist clenched in her chest as their voices effortlessly blended. I forgot how beautiful we sounded together...
"It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love..."
Connor's face flashed against her eyelids, Rachel shaking her head to clear it. Damn you, Noah...
He thought of Quinn and their disastrous relationship. I know I made a mess, Rach, I swear.
"Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
She fought down her anger. I sincerely hope you're right.
"Do you think he did?" Dan sank onto the couch, laying his head on Will's shoulder. "Have you spoken to him at all?"
"He texted to let me know he landed, and to check the directions from the apartment to both NYU and Juilliard." Will sighed. "As for whether he asked for Rachel, well...there's a reason I haven't gone anywhere, my darling, and as much as I love our lazy weekends, that's not why."
You son of a - Rachel swallowed, stomach churning as she skimmed the rest of the song. You really - this song absolutely is about - She drew a deep breath, screwing up her courage to meet his gaze.
"There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save..."
Rachel looked away as he played the instrumental ending, nausea and a vise around her heart threatening to bring her to her knees. Be over. Please. So I can go, so I don't have to be here...
As Noah strummed the last chord, the audience burst into applause. I missed this. I missed us. So fucking much. He grabbed Rachel's hand and kissed it, locking his gaze with her startled one. "Rachel -"
"Thank you, Rachel, if you wish to wait stage right, you can catch up in a moment," Ms. J interjected. "Mr. Puckerman, your other pieces can be performed solo, I would hope?"
"Actually, my best pieces were written for her," he confessed, looking at Rachel intently. My best everything is because of her. "She has been my muse, whether she knows or not, for the past two years. I would love you to hear another of my female vocal arrangements." And I would love to hear her sing it.
Jacobsen looked between the two of them. "One more with Rachel. I want to see how well a male composer can arrange for the female voice. Show us something good, Mr. Puckerman."
"The piece is called Basket Case." And I'm about to be one. Rifling through his folder, he held another score out. "Please?"
Her hand trembled as she accepted the sheets, eyes scanning the page. Damn you, Noah...Gritting her teeth, she nodded. Fine. I'll sing your song for now, and twist my words however you want. I'll show you how much I meant it. You're not in my life, Noah. You're not. Taking a deep breath, she met his gaze head on and sang.
"I don't want to talk about it to you -
I'm not an open book that you can rifle through.
The cold hard truth that you'll see right to -
I'm just a basket case without you..."
She's fucking pissed. Noah grinned as he played, the fire in her eyes warming his heart. I'm still under her skin, I'm still there...
The gall of him. To show up here, on my turf at my - who knew about this? She narrowed her eyes at him quickly before looking down at the lyrics. Oh my - Her eyes flew up to his, the expression in his determined. He does -
She finally sees, I get it. I do, Rach, I told you, I know what I've done. He nodded and smirked, raising a brow in challenge.
She glared at him, fighting back laughter and tears. Damn you, Noah Puckerman, how do you always do this to me? She took a slow breath before shaking her head and singing the chorus, pouring her hurt into the words. It's those phone calls, it's everything.
"You're begging for the truth
So I'm saying it to you
I've been saving your place
What good does it do?
Now I'm just a basket case..."
Noah closed his eyes, embellishing the runs as she sang the refrain one last time. I told you I wrote these songs for you, Rach. He dropped his hands again, opening his eyes to catch hers.
"Thank you, Rachel, stage right, if you please. And let's talk, Mr. Puckerman."
"Wait for me?" he whispered. Now, later, for as long as it takes..."Please?"
Rachel turned with a tight smile and left the stage. Not a chance, Noah. Not a chance in the world.
Shit. Noah turned his attention to the panel with a forced smile. She's gonna run.
"Did you know about this?" Rachel hissed into the phone. "Did you?" I hope you tell me no...
Lori gestured urgently at Connor, waving him over. "Rach, no, try me again. Noah is here? In New York?"
"In New York - in my school! On my stage! Performing for my professors!" She ran a hand through her hair, pacing the hall and glancing behind her. I must leave the vicinity immediately. If I'm on break, I can go as I wish.
"I - Rach, no, I didn't know he was here, or that he was auditioning for Juilliard. Can I - do you need me to do something?"
She rubbed her forehead. Send my fairy godmother to fix my life. "Bring a coat so I can leave without going back into the auditorium, so he has no opportunty to follow me?"
"Rach, I'm not bringing you a coat for your half-hour lunch break. What are you afraid of?"
"Getting my hopes up!" she burst out. Rachel Berry! You stop it this instant.
"What do you hope to accomplish transferring here, Mr. Puckerman? Juilliard is serious. Are you ready to devote another entire undergraduate experience to music?"
He nodded. "Absolutely. I should have been pursuing this sooner, but I didn't have faith in my ability. I finally listened to the people around me who kept encouraging me, and now I can't imagine doing anything else." Or anyone.
"And from your transcript, your current major is physical education."
"Yes, ma'am." Thank fuck Schue prepped me for this. "There actually is a lot of overlap - musicians have to be really fit to perform constantly. It takes a lot of bodily control - breath, posture, dexterity."
Ms. Jacobsen smiled. "That's a good answer to a question I didn't even ask."
Shit, Puckerman, relax. Noah rubbed a hand over the back of his head. "Well, people constantly ask what the f- heck I'm doing changing majors this close to graduating. So I've gotten used to defending myself."
"There's no need to defend yourself here, Mr. Puckerman. Let's talk about your process, and then you're free to find our Ms. Berry. I'm pretty certain I know where she'll be."
She took a deep breath, pacing before the wide windows. Why won't anyone just let me forget about him? "I don't want to know, Lori, doesn't anyone see that? If he loved me, if he realized his mistake now...I don't want to know. Our moment has passed. Better to have loved and lost, my ass."
"Do you curse freely now or is it just me?" Thank you, Tricia Jacobsen. Noah swallowed, keeping his voice gently teasing. "I mean, really, Rach, you could've loosened up with me."
Oh, no...She fumbled the phone, dropping it and disconnecting the call.
"What the - she hung up! Right as Noah got to her." Lori chewed her lip. "Call back or wait?"
Connor shook his head. "Wait. It's yet another chapter in the chick flick."
"But - are you - I should call back to make sure she's okay." Lori started to dial.
Connor took the phone from her hand and closed it. "You know she's fine, Lor. He's not going to hurt her in any way if he can help it."
"Well, exactly. If he can help it." Lori draped her arms around her boyfriend's neck, sighing. "I just don't know if those two can help but hurt each other."
Rachel picked up the cell phone, hand shaking. Damn it, Rachel, stop it. "I do believe it might only be you." In more ways than I care to admit.
Turn around. He smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. "My bad influence, huh?"
"Something like that." She swallowed hard, turning to meet his gaze. "What are you doing here, Noah?" Why can't you leave me alone?
"Auditioning. I'm looking into music programs." And looking into getting back to you. He took a slow step towards her. "Someone told me I had a talent for it. Took me a while to get there, but I finally figured she's smarter than me, so I decided to give it a shot." And hopefully get another shot at us. He stepped closer again.
"What are you doing, Will? Sending me a soap opera?"
"Trish!" Will Schuester smiled wryly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Noah Puckerman just auditioned for me, and I swear it was karma or something. Our playback failed - don't even ask, I ripped into the tech department already - and he says he can perform live if I can find Rachel Berry."
"Oh...oh, Trish..." Will shook his head.
"Well exactly!" She laughed, leaning back in her desk chair. "I didn't even think about it until he said the first piece was called 'Your Ex-Lover'."
His eyebrows flew to his hairline. "Oh, he pulled out the big guns on this..."
"No kidding. I couldn't figure out if Rachel was going to cry or scream, but it's the last piece of a puzzle I've been trying to put together since I started working with her."
Will raised a brow, tucking Emma under his arm on the couch. "What's that?"
"She came in and took the school by storm. Signed up for everything. I wanted to slow her down, not accept her on a few things, but I was persuaded otherwise by your recommendation and Dr. Dalton's. I just couldn't figure out why she was so determined to not stop."
"Well, to be fair, it took me a while to figure out that the two of them had been together, and then longer still to figure out that Noah was still in love with her. I'm guessing that Rachel is -"
" - still in love with him, absolutely." Tricia shook her head. "I wish you'd seen it, Will, why do you think I'm calling? The boy literally just left my stage, I sent him to her favorite corner of the building. Those songs. They really screwed each other up."
"Tell me about it. But I think, at least for him, it was a good thing in the end." Will sighed. "He's come a long way, Trish. Thanks for giving him a shot."
"My pleasure, Will. You'll have to come play on my turf out here."
"Hope to bring the kids that way sometime." He quickly said his goodbyes, kissing Emma with a smile. "Well, he made it. But he's a stranger in a strange land now."
Do not back away, Rachel, stand your ground. Your ground. He is on your turf. "Good for you. Best of luck with the audition, and safe travels." She turned to head back to the auditorium.
Say something, she's gonna fucking walk away. "You were right about everything, Rachel." He swallowed. Fuck, this was easier on the phone. "Everything. Me, Quinn, you. I -"
No. No, no, no. She froze, catching her breath. "I don't want to hear it, Noah. You've apologized, thank you very much, and now -"
"And now I'm here. I'm right here, Rachel. Am I moving to New York? I'm sure as shit trying to. Schools are fucking expensive. And I'm not nearly as good as you are." He stepped towards her again. "Not even close." I never was, but you make me better.
It makes no difference. Not now. She shook her head, talking as she walked away. "You have potential, Noah, and I wish you the best of luck. I was...impressed by your work. I'll be sure to let them know how -" She stopped walking and cleared her throat. "How talented you are." Taking a deep breath, she added quietly, "I always saw that in you." I wish you had too.
"I know," he whispered. You saw me clearer than I saw myself. "I'm sorry I didn't get it the first time."
"I'm sorry as well." More than I can ever express. "But you said it yourself, Noah." Her smile was brittle. You obviously heard what I was telling you. "What good does it do? There's nothing here to save."
Fuck it. "How about to start?" He planted a hand on her shoulder, spinning her around to capture her mouth. It's been too fucking long.
A whimper escaped her, hands clenching around his collar. He feels - he tastes - I want -
He wound his fingers through her hair, nipping at her lips. Yes, fuck yes...this...you... "I missed you, Rachel," he murmured between kisses.
Rachel! She shoved at his chest, a panicky noise in her throat. "No," she choked out, pushing him off. Not again, you know better. Not again. Rachel backed away, shaking her head. "I can't." She turned to walk quickly down the hall.
"I'm gonna try to change your mind," he called after her. "You know that." He licked his lips. She kissed me back, I know she did. "And you still taste like strawberries and tea. I missed that too."
"Goodbye, Noah." You are unbelievable. Incorrigible and exasperating and...delicious - Rachel! She stomped down on the thought. He's trying to get here...She shook herself, walking faster.
"Catch you later, Rach." As soon as I fucking can. He rolled his neck and watched her stalk away.
"Hello, Noah." Waving Dan over, Will sat at the kitchen table. "How did it go?"
Not as good as I wanted it to, but pretty fucking good for that.Noah grinned, retrieving his guitar as he left the building. "Better than I expected. You're gonna have to watch out for Rachel though."
"I cannot believe the gall of him!" Rachel smiled and waved at the security guard as she hid in a corner. Look at me skulking to avoid him. "And you knew nothing of this, Lor?"
"I swear I had no idea he was coming to town, Rach, let alone auditioning at Juilliard." Lori pressed her lips together, shooting a warning glance at Connor.
"But I bet Daddy knows." Rachel sighed, smoothing her hair. I should've realized that sooner. "I can't imagine he wouldn't have called. I just - why wouldn't Daddy warn me? Prepare me in some way?"
Lori took a deep breath. "Rach, how are you feeling right now?"
Rachel frowned. What does that have to do with anything? "I'm - I'm furious! He thinks he can just waltz back in and pick up where we left off? Before he ruined absolutely everything?" That's not true and you know it, Rachel. He wants to start again.
Lori frowned, raising a brow at Connor. "He really thinks that? That's insane. I thought he knew better than that, at the least." She covered the phone and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "She says Noah wants to pick up where they left off. I'm not buying it."
Rachel huffed. Damn it. How did she know? "Maybe that's not entirely accurate."
Lori smiled. "That's better then. What did he actually say?"
Rachel pursed her lips. Exactly what you hope he said, I'm beginning to suspect. "He wants to start anew. But that doesn't change the history between us or the fact that he's not here!"
"You're right, babe, it doesn't. It shows he's grown up. He knows he fucked up the first time, and now he's trying to show you he's different. He knows it'd have to be a new start." Lori gave Connor a thumbs-up, leaning back onto his chest.
But some things haven't changed...Rachel pressed a hand to her tingling mouth. "He's not that different, Lori. Trust me."
"I sense story. I'll bring a bottle of wine later. But think, honey, would you have gone today if you knew he was there? And aren't auditions two days? Will might not even have known which day he was auditioning, so why worry you? Anyway, call Will, I know you want to. I'll pick up Pakistani Tea House and I'll see you at 7, okay?"
"That sounds lovely, Lori. Thank you." Rachel licked her lips, closing her eyes for a moment. Noah...
Will shook his head. "I take it you and Rachel saw each other?"
Running a hand over his lips, he smirked. Among other things. "We did. She actually ended up singing with me. For such a fancy school, Juilliard's tech crew sucks. The recording didn't work, so I, uh...I recruited Rachel." More like drafted her against her will. Whatever.
"And I'm sure she was thrilled." Rolling his eyes at Dan, Will continued. "Did you talk at all?"
"We did." I liked it better when I was kissing her, though. He blew out a breath. "Anyway, when she wanted to go, I let her. But she seemed kinda pissed."
"Fantastic. Thanks for the warning." He pressed a hand to his head in mock horror, grinning at Dan's fight against laughter. "And good luck. When's your flight?"
Too soon. "Early tomorrow." He rubbed the back of his head. What the fuck, I might as well ask. "Do you think - could I - should I come by or call or -"
Will chuckled. "How about I let you know how she is when she gets in and we go from there?"
Translation: Don't push your luck. Noah shrugged."Sounds like a plan. Um, thanks, Will. For everything."
"You're very welcome, Noah. I'll let you know later." Will hung up the phone, shaking his head. "I give it three, two -"
"And I am calling you..."
"Told you so." Will waved Dan into his lap, heads together around the phone. "Hey, baby girl, are you all - "
"Did you know he was coming here? He's trying to get into Juilliard. He made me sing with him. And then he kissed me." Rachel! She shook her head, sighing. "Can I just come home now?"
"What happened? Noah kissed you? At an audition?" He narrowed his eyes as Dan smothered a giggle. "Rachel, my phone is going to die. Let me call you back, I'm home." He hung up again, patting Dan's behind to stand. "Poor Noah. He's going to have a really quiet night. Our child is riled." Picking up the landline, he dialed Rachel's cell and typed out a text on his own.
Noah frowned as he tucked his phone away. What the fuck? He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the display. A new text already? He flipped it open and chuckled.
Hope you enjoyed that kiss, Noah. Have a safe flight home.
Well, that'd be a no. Noah stood, stretching from his position outside Juilliard. And I definitely got to her if she told Will I kissed her. I guess I'll see you when I get back here, Rach. And I will get back here. That's for damn sure. He frowned as he considered the financial aid applications. However long it takes.
March
"Rachel?"
Rachel stepped into the office with a smile. "Good afternoon, Ms. Jacobsen, I hope you're well." And that whatever prompted you to ask me to your office is a positive thing.
"I am, thank you, Rachel." Ms. Jacobsen smiled. She gestured Rachel into the seat across from her desk. "Actually I asked you to come to my office because I'm concerned about how you're doing."
Me? Rachel frowned briefly. "Concerned? Ms. Jacobsen, I assure you, I'm fine. I know my accelerated graduation is a rarity but I am ready, willing and able to take on the next challenge." More than. I insist upon it.
"We all know your dedication to the program and to your art. That's not a question, Rachel. There is no issue with whether you're a fit for our program. You are. But here is what I don't know." She looked Rachel up and down. "Will you survive the two years? Or will you run yourself ragged like I've watched you do, until you crack under the weight of your graduate thesis?"
Rachel blinked. Are you - "I'm sorry?"
"Rachel, I've watched for the past three years as you threw yourself into every single event offered by the department. I wanted to turn you down, but I had two people telling me that you could do it. Did I tell you I used to do show choir in Cleveland?"
You what? Rachel slowly shook her head. "No, you never - you never did."
Jacobsen nodded, tossing her hair back. "I did. And a young man named Will Schuester and I struck up a friendship. When your undergraduate application came in, when he was on the references, I called him, and he told me how lucky I was to have you, and how talented you were. Dr. Dalton said the same thing. Both of them urged me to trust you, and I did. You're a real artist, Rachel, I can see the potential in you. But I also saw you cracking. Does Noah have any idea you're still in love with him?"
"I - I have no idea what you're talking about, Ms. J." I am not. I cannot be. Sitting up straighter in her chair, Rachel met her gaze directly. "You must be mistaken."
Her advisor shook her head with a small smile. "I watched you on that stage, Rachel. I watched you singing with him and it finally clicked. Why you were pushing so hard, why you were so closed off to Cory. As much as everyone seems to think Juilliard wants rabid fame-hungry performers, we also want to make enduring stars. How do you propose to endure when it seems you're entirely reliant on the public adulation to feel okay? I know how it goes, Rachel. You run from something and onto the stage. You don't want to deal with the rest of your life so you distract yourself with everything else. You're not the first, and you won't be the last."
Why does everyone keep saying that? "While I will grant you I'm highly active in the program, that does not mean there is anything wrong. I want to be known, I want every experience I can get. I want to be the best performer I can."
"But what about being the best person you can? I see so much potential in you, Rachel, I don't want it wasted." She slid a CD forward. "Since this was slipped to me by a friend - " She leaned back in her chair, looking Rachel over. "Actually, I should probably tell you. Will sent this to me months ago, asking as a favor if I'd screen it just in case he convinced this student of his to apply. He called me a week after the application deadline to tell me he'd talked Noah into it. So if you're thinking this was some elaborate plot by him, not so." She gestured towards Rachel to pick up the case. "You might find that to be interesting listening."
"Ms. J, while I appreciate your concern, I really don't see a cause for it." There's nothing to be concerned about at all. "Whatever personal issues I may have, they don't adversely affect my ability to perform. If anything, they enhance them." Rachel folded her hands in her lap.
Her director sighed and stood. "He's very talented, and very much regrets some of the decisions he's made in his life. It seems that he's trying to correct those mistakes now. And he's not shy about saying so. Even if we don't accept him, Rachel, somebody will, and you know how small of a field this is. I'd highly recommend you deal with this, for your professional and personal sake. He cares about you, Rachel. He actually looked torn about staying for his interview. At Juilliard. He was here for you, not for us. Whatever he might've thought, when he had the opportunity, he wanted to go to you." She opened the door and held a hand out of Rachel to precede her. "I just want you to think about what's important, and I want you to be open to living, all right?"
Just go with it, Rachel. She rose to walk out the door. "All right, Ms. J. I hear you. And I appreciate all you've done as my advisor. I promise I am keeping everything in perspective, and I have family and friends who love me and who don't hesitate to keep me in check." Usually by involving Noah. She stopped at the end of the hall. "I promise, I know what I'm doing. I'll be fine. This is everything I want." It's everything I'll allow myself to want. I can't make the same mistake again. There's nothing left between us. Nothing.
April
"Are you going to open those or what?" Ilana drummed her fingers on the table as Noah stared at the envelopes in front of him. "You've been getting them for weeks! Which, actually, is strange. We're two months earlier this time."
"Yeah, because I actually applied on the early side of on time this time," he reminded her. Thanks to Mr. Schue for that. "And I know I've been getting them all week, but why open them when the ones that count just got here?" He pulled NYU and Juilliard from the pile. Also known as the ones that determine my future.
She squeezed his hand. "Are you all right? Ready?"
He shrugged. Who the fuck knows? "Ma, I have no idea what's in these. I have no fucking clue if I'm ready."
"Language." Ilana slid the envelopes from under his fingers. "Do you want me to do it? I'll be gentle."
"Ma." He snatched them back, straightening. No fucking way, I worked too hard to let someone else open these. "I can do it."
"You know, even if they say no, it only delays your plans, right?" She smiled proudly. "You're graduating with a bachelor's anyway, you'd just have to find a job there instead of a school."
"No, I know, Ma." He flipped the NYU envelope through his fingers. Here we go again. He carefully slid a finger under the flap, tearing it open. She's right. Whatever happens, you're all right. "Dear Mr. Puckerman...appreciate you auditioning again...at this time we are pleased to offer you -" He looked up at his mother. "I got in. Ma, I got into NYU."
Ilana squealed, jumping up to kiss him on the cheek. "Oh, Noah, I knew you could do it! Open Juilliard, can you imagine if you go to the same school as Rachel? That would be fantastic..."
It would be unreal. Blowing out a breath, he ripped into the Juilliard letter. "Dear Mr. Puckerman...audition was entertaining...great potential..." He swallowed, putting the paper down slowly. "Waitlisted."
"Oh, Noah." Ilana scanned the letter. "Noah, if you notice, the head of the panel actually signed it herself. Ms. Jacobsen. And there's a note - Best of luck, hope to see you." She squeezed his shoulder. "She wants you as part of the program. Just have faith that someone won't be able to go for some reason."
He rolled his eyes. I'm not even gonna count waitlisted as a plan. "Nice, Ma. Sure, lemme hope that someone can't pay or doesn't graduate or something. That's screwed up, you know."
Ilana blushed, swatting his arm. "I just - I want you as close to her as you can get."
"And you think I don't?" He shook his head. Shit, since when was I the voice of reason? "Ma, I think it's better this way. Juilliard...I mean, it'd be amazing to get in. But I think NYU almost fits me better. I don't mind going there. But, can we afford it? Can I afford it?"
Ilana peeked at the envelope from NYU on the table. "What does the financial aid look like?"
He pulled the rest of the papers out, flipping through pages. Son of a bitch. "It looks like crap."
"Oh, Noah..." Ilana snatched the paper from him and smacked him in the arm. "Noah, we can swing this. We can. I know what I'm capable of doing. You'd have to get a job in New York for spending money, or you could take out a loan, but this is doable. You can go. You can go right now."
I could. Noah looked down at the letter, doing math in his head. Or, I could defer and save some money of my own. "I don't know, Ma. She was - Rachel was still so mad. I could tell she was just - she didn't want me anywhere near her, as much as I wanted to be. I'm scared if I go now, if I push my way into her life, that I'll just fuck her up again. I know Rachel, and if I push now..."
"She'll be angry enough to push you out of her life completely?"
Knowing her? He sighed. "Something like that, yeah."
"You know what I'm going to suggest, right?"
Noah glanced at the clock. Yeah, I know. Same thing I'm thinking. "Think he'll be free at 11 on a Saturday morning?"
"Only one way to find out, sweetheart. Ask."
"So I have to decide on my senior recital pieces as soon as I can. I want to give myself the most time possible to work on them." Seriously? Do you even believe that? Rachel took another forkful of her Florentine omelette. You don't need a year. "I want to show everyone that there's a reason I'm graduating early."
"Panic?" Dan murmured around his pancakes.
"Dad! That's unfair!" Rachel frowned. "I thought it was understood and agreed that graduating early and auditioning for NYU made sense." I still haven't convinced you?
"It makes sense in that at least you're driving yourself to something instead of just into the ground, but overall? I think you're insane, sweetheart. I love you but I don't have to agree with everything you do because of that." Dan stabbed at a strawberry.
Will looked at Dan, eyes flashing a warning. "Baby girl, your father and I are just concerned that you'll regret missing out on these years. You'll regret not having a boyfriend or going away for Spring Break. You'll never be able to do this again. Once you're out of school, it's the real world."
"I know, and I want that, Daddy." I need something real. She met his gaze, smile dropping from her face. "If someone is going to break my heart, let it be a role on Broadway. Romance is so unnecessary."
Will's phone chose that moment to buzz against the table.
"Oh, are you -" Who has the surveillance camera? Rachel pursed her lips. Honestly. "Daddy, if that's -"
"Hello, Noah, I do believe we were just dancing around you at brunch." Will smiled at Rachel's outraged expression. "Just our usual concern of Rachel burning herself out, running herself into the ground, missing out on life..."
She's there? Noah swallowed hard. And they're still having that fight? "Well, shit. It hasn't gotten any better?"
"I think your audition threw her back a bit."
This is unbelievable! Rachel glared at her father. I haven't done anything to warrant this!
Shit. He ran a hand over his head. "So what would it do if I were actually there?" That's not what I wanted. "Don't say anything, but I got into NYU."
"Well that's good to hear, Noah." Will stood, dropping a kiss on Rachel's head as he crossed the restaurant to the vestibule to talk. "Congratulations, son. I'm proud of you. How's your mother?"
Imagining Jewish grandchildren already. "She's determined that she can swing it, that I can go to NYU even with crappy financial aid." Like practically nonexistent financial aid. "I was calling for advice."
"Well, I can't answer financially, but -"
That's not what I needed advice on. "I know, I wanted to factor Rachel in. And if seeing me -"
"And don't forget the fact that you kissed her, Noah, that definitely had an impact -"
"I know, Will. I -" Well, fuck, Puckerman. "I thought I was calling for feedback but talking to you just made the decision easier. I want to defer. I want to take some time and save some money for me and for Sarah's sake. And I don't want Rachel to fuck things up because of me. Am I crazy? Tell me I'm crazy. I wanted this for so long, but...I just can't be that selfish. Not anymore." Maybe this is what they call growing up.
"I'm going to say it again, Noah. I'm proud of you."
"So? What's the verdict?" Ilana grabbed a glass of water, frowning at her son. "Noah?"
"I'm gonna try to defer," he said quietly. I can't fucking believe it, but I am. "It's - it's crazy but...I think that's the right thing to do for everybody."
Ilana sat across from him. "Noah, we can swing this. We can. And there have to be scholarships and things, especially since you're trying to transfer -"
"But I don't want to swing it. I wanna know for sure you and Sarah will be okay." I can't ignore the consequences of things anymore.
"Noah...what did Will say?" She reached out to tip his chin up so his gaze met hers. "What happened?"
"Rach is a mess." Noah balled a fist, holding back from slamming it on the table. The last fucking thing I wanted. "That's not what I want, Ma. Not for her or me. Especially not if she's trying to get into grad schools. So I'm gonna let the Good Lord make the call for me." He hasn't led me astray so far - I did. "I'm going to see if they'll let me defer. If they do, then that's what I'll do. I'll take the free ride at Lima Community to the end, get my degree. It'd probably help me get a job, right? And then I'm comfortable, I'll have spending money."
Ilana looked at him silently.
You know, as much as I think I want her to shut up, when she's quiet, it scares the shit out of me. Noah raised a brow. "What, Ma. You're freaking me out."
"Noah." Ilana shook her head. "I'm proud of you, sweetheart. I am." She stood, kissing the top of his head and leaning towards his ear as she grasped his shoulders. "Of course, that doesn't mean that the Jewish mother in me isn't hoping they won't let you defer."
August, Noah's senior year, Rachel's (accelerated) senior year
Rachel peered carefully down the corridor before her first class. He won't be here. He can't possibly. She went about her day and got home to a familiar postmark on the table. I'm not going to read it. I'm not.
She lasted a week before she tore the envelope open.
Another before slipping the paper out, placing it gingerly on her desk.
He's definitely not at Juilliard. Week Three and she unfolded it, smoothing it out to read.
Dear Rachel,
I can't even guess when/if you'll read this. But in case you do, I may as well just say this. I want you to succeed. I want you to get everywhere you want to go, and accomplish everything I know you can accomplish. And I don't want to take away from that. I'm not going to be in New York this year. Your father already knows, and he'll tell you if you ask him. And if you don't ask him - which, by the way, was my bet, because you're not even ready to admit that you're thinking about me - that tells us something too.
This is gonna sound like I'm fucking with you. Especially after that kiss.
Shit. I have a habit of kissing you when I shouldn't, don't I. And guess what?
I don't regret either of them. The only thing I regret was how they messed with your head. And that's why I have to stay away.
Because when I get to you - and I will -
Rachel paused and shook her head, turning the paper over to see the word nearly tearing through the page.
I'm gonna work on changing your mind. Every minute I can. And a few when I shouldn't.
And you're gonna love it.
But for now, get your future in order. I already fucked up one life plan, I'm not gonna fuck up another. Just, seriously, don't think for a minute that I don't want to be there. I do. Except I learned something through all of this. My actions have consequences, and I'm not gonna let those consequences fuck you up anymore.
I'll see you soon.
- Noah
September
Noah blew into his hands, standing outside of the post office. I just need a fucking mailing box, is that too much to ask? He looked down at his watch, biting back a curse. I need to get to class. I get this bachelor's, I can get a job in New York. And if that's the financial aid package, I have to get a job in New York. He shook his head and turned away from the building, hurrying back to the car. He tossed the honey cake and CDs onto the passenger side.
He skidded to a stop in the parking lot, the cake sliding to the floor as he flipped into park. It was crushed under his guitar case later that day, tossed in the garbage later that week.
Despite Will, Dan, Lori and Connor's continued concern, Rachel would never confess that she watched the mail, judging time by packages that didn't come.
October
Repent. What do I have to repent? Rachel tore a piece of bread and tossed it into the lake in Central Park. I repent that my life is reduced to my craft. I repent that I ever believed in him. I repent pushing people away.
The next time Cory asked her out to dinner, she said yes.
When Peter from her drama troupe asked, she didn't say no to him either.
And when her father asked her why the change, she only smiled. "It's a new year, Daddy. And it will never come again." Never. It's too far gone.
December 18, Noah and Rachel's senior year of college
"I hope you don't mind, Ms. Berry, but I signed for a package." Michael held up a box. "It was the same as the other packages, but for some reason this was sent with delivery confirmation and certified." He held up a priority mail box.
"No, Michael, that's fine." Rachel turned the package around to read. Urgent. Flammable. Fragile. Perishable. What on Earth is he sending me?
"And I do believe today is your birthday?"
She plastered on a smile. And it's certainly been long enough since he sent me anything. "Yes, Michael, it is. My twenty-first, in fact." Would he - did he - She shook herself.
"Any good plans?"
"Dinner, drinks, dancing, probably all in combination." She smiled genuinely. And thank goodness for that. "I'm sure I'll see you tomorrow, I'll tell you all about it." She frowned quickly at the weight of the package. "Thank you for signing for the package."
"No problem, Ms. Berry."
She grinned, waving as she stepped on to the elevator. As the doors closed, the smile dropped. It's going to be a birthday present. I know it is. And flammable? She shook her head. "Liquor," she muttered, digging in her purse one handed to retrieve her keys.
"Lick her, I don't even know her!" Lori grinned from behind a bouquet and balloons. "Happy birthday, Rach." She thrust the bouquet towards her. "Oh, maybe not. Oh my God. Is that - is that a Noah care package? I've never been here for a fresh one!"
Connor rolled his eyes, taking the box from Rachel's hands as Rachel took the bouquet. "Happy birthday, Rachel." He pecked her on the cheek. Winking at her, he stage whispered, "Wanna make out? For old times' sake?"
"Wanna make out?" His smile, his hands in her hair. "We were ridiculously hot and you know it." Dark eyes flashing wickedly, hips and hands urging her away from prying eyes and under his spell.
Rachel caught her breath. What is it with boys saying that to me? "I - n-no, I -"
Lori smacked him in the arm. "Moron." She took the keys from Rachel. "He doesn't know, babe, sorry."
"Doesn't know what?" Connor raised his eyebrows. "I'm right here."
Rachel smiled tightly. "That's pretty much how Noah asked me out the first time." I'm all too easily susceptible to his bad boy image...
"Oh...oh, shit, Rachel, I'm so-"
No, that's not worth getting upset over. "Connor, don't worry about it." Rachel walked into the apartment behind Lori and the balloons. "I'm fine, just...momentarily thrown." Especially in light of the fact that you're holding the package, so it's as though you channeled him directly.
Lori tied the balloons to a pillar in the kitchen. "Are Will and Dan home yet?"
Rachel grabbed a vase from atop the refrigerator. "No, not yet, they told me to be ready by 6:30, so I still have an hour." An hour to panic about what he sent me, contemplate opening it, hide it somewhere...She settled the bouquet on the kitchen table.
"Where would you like me to put this?" Connor held out the box. "Do you want me to just throw it somewhere?"
"No!" Lori interjected. "Rach, you have to. It's your birthday. And it's important. And we're here." Lori took the box from Connor, grabbing Rachel's hand to tug her to the couch. "We won't look, just at least open it. This shit's heavy."
"It's at least a bottle of alcohol, I can tell that from flammable." Rachel eyed the box. I just don't know what else might be in there, and I'm not certain I want to know...
"So then we can drink on him." Lori shoved the box into Rachel's hands. "Open it."
She chewed her lip, looking at Lori. "Lor, I don't know that I want to." It's my birthday, and I can practice avoidance if I want to...
Connor cleared his throat. "Whatever is in there, Rachel...he obviously wants you to have it today. I promise if it's bad, we'll make you drink so much you don't remember."
Because that's worked so well in the past. Rachel scoffed. "You, me and alcohol...not sure that's a good idea."
Connor dropped a kiss on Lori's head. "It all worked out, Rach. Come on."
Blowing out a breath, Rachel ripped open the tab on the box. Nothing is going to bite you. You're all right. Opening it, she lifted out a tissue wrapped bottle. Slowly unwrapping it, she snorted. "You've got to be kidding me."
Lori took the bottle from her hands. "Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka? Really?" She opened the bottle and sniffed. "Wow, it actually just smells like tea."
"And you still taste like strawberries and tea. I missed that too."
Rachel lifted a Godiva box from the depths. Did he intentionally...She unwrapped the bow and opened it.
"Oooo, chocolate covered strawberries! Gimme!" Lori snatched one out.
Rachel licked her lips, reaching in to extract a wrapped bundle of envelopes. No. No. He - Swallowing hard, she dropped them back in and pushed the box away. I don't want to know what those are. I absolutely don't.
"There's a card too, Rach." Lori reached in. "And one more heavy thing, wrapped. A book maybe?"
Noah Puckerman, sending me a book? Rachel inhaled slowly. "I - I don't know, Lor, I'm -"
"You're fine." Lori dropped the card and grabbed Rachel's hands, squeezing. "You're fine. God, Rach, you're more than fine. He's all into you and you're in control. How can you be worried? Babe, he's chasing you. He wouldn't possibly do anything to hurt you. He put his own stuff aside so you could get yours. What are you afraid of that he would say? 'I love you, I want you, please love me back'?"
"Yes!" she burst out. "Yes, that's what I'm afraid of." Are you satisfied? "I haven't let him say it out loud, he's never written it, and I'm constantly terrified that he will." She bit her lip, looking at the box. Because then it's real. Everything I thought I lost, all that he didn't understand...it's real. Final, concrete, real.
"Would you rather I read it?" Lori picked the card up from the box. "I mean, I don't think he'd write something lewd, do you? Ooo, maybe I do want to read it if he did..."
"Lori!" Rachel snatched the card from her grasp. He wouldn't. "You are sick." She froze. Would he?
"But you're holding that card, aren't you?" Lori smirked.
Damn it. Rachel exhaled, flipping the card over and staring at the flap. Rachel, you should know better by now!
"You know, it's funny." Lori reached over Rachel to tear it open. "I'm your best friend, so we know each other really well. But the only person who's been able to push your buttons every time..." She kissed Rachel on the cheek, pulling back to look in her eyes. "...is Noah." She paused to let her statement sink in. "Take the rest of the box and get changed. At worst, I saved you a week of agonizing - the envelope's open. Read it, don't read it. Just don't forget everyone wants to meet for drinks after. Is it Cory or Peter or Mark or Darryl this week?"
Rachel gave a wan smile. "Hey, I couldn't get one date without drama. You can't blame a girl for having fun." Everyone wants me to socialize. So I am.
"Not at all." Lori smiled brightly.
Rachel frowned. "I don't think I trust that smile." In fact, I'm certain of it.
Connor leaned over to look and shook his head. "Yeah, don't. That's the I know something you don't know smile. Spill, Lor."
"I can't blame you for enjoying yourself," Lori agreed. "Because when he gets here next year, he's not gonna leave you alone."
Rachel sighed, taking the box and the card back through the condo. That's what I'm afraid of. She flicked through hangers in his closet. And have you decided whether you're afraid he'll get here...or that he won't? She groaned. Stop it, damn it. It's your birthday. She stopped with a grin. It's my birthday. She pulled out a short strapless floral dress, black heels and a black cardigan. Why not enjoy myself, whether or not he gets here? What can he do? She changed quickly, moving to her vanity to check her reflection. Nothing. He can't do anything. Just like I couldn't. She set her shoulders and pulled the card from the envelope.
She frowned at the card. Seriously, Noah? One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...
She opened the card. Floor. She giggled. Damn it, Noah, don't make me laugh! Blowing out a breath, she read.
Dear Rachel,
Happy 21st. I'm sorry I'm not there - would love to do a power hour with you. Maybe another time. I hope you enjoyed everything else in the box, and that you looked at those envelopes. They're the letters I never got to send, and my admissions letters. This year has been totally nuts. I'm working all the time, either my - cougar-free since you - business, part time with Kurt's dad's garage, teaching guitar, helping Schue with Glee - shit, I sound like you. But at least I'm in good company, right?
Don't ever think I'm not thinking of you, Rach. I am. I always am.
I know you won't believe me but I lo-
Rachel closed the card, tossing it back into the box. Time for dinner, I think. Her stomach twisted.
"Rach? You okay?" Lori tapped on her door. "Can I come in?"
Rachel yanked the door open. "How do I look?"
"Like you're faking it." Lori narrowed her eyes at her friend. "Did you read the card?" She grabbed her by the arms and shook her. "Did he actually say he loves you?" she squealed.
"That's not a good thing!" Rachel pointed her to the box.
Lori moved towards it. "You mean - you want me to look?"
"Yes. I can't even tell you where my mind is, but yes."
Lori reached in, skimming with a small smile. She giggled. "Um, Rach? 'I look forward to changing your mind, sooner than you think' doesn't seem like a great declaration of love. But I'm sure he meant that too." She snagged an arm around Rachel's shoulders, shaking her head. "Goober."
"So you have to reaudition? Does she know?" Ilana passed Noah the kugel.
"Nope, no idea." He scooped a portion and passed the pan back. "But I plan on telling Will." And see what happens from there.
"He'll tell Rachel." She smiled. "Think she got your package?"
He smiled. "Yup, she did." He looked down at the text from Lori. I know she did.
Nice work. Now get your ass here.
And I'll be there. Sooner than you think, Rach. Soon.
A.N. Special thanks to Wiki. :)
Prologue:
Noah: Graduating high school
Rachel - Junior in high school
Ch. 1
N: Summer before freshman year of college
R: Summer before senior year of high school
Ch. 2
Same
Ch. 3
Same
Ch. 4
N: Freshman year of college
R: Senior year of high school
Ch. 5
N: Spring break freshman year
R: Senior year internship
Ch. 6
N: Spring break freshman year
R: Spring break senior year, graduation and graduation party
Ch. 7
N: Gleek graduation party, end of freshman year
R: Graduation party, before freshman year
Ch. 8
N: After sophomore year, first audition attempt, December junior year
R: After freshman year, December sophomore year
Ch. 9
N: December junior year
R: December sophomore year
Ch. 10
N: January junior year to December senior year
R: January sophomore year to December senior year
