Contains bits of a spoiler for the latest and last episode for TWD. It's not much but still on the spoiling side.
Nick) ur thoughts on jason burning ur house down and taking ur picture of ur mom
"I hate him!" shouted Nick waving around the mask. "I hate that bastard! I hate him! I hate him! I. HATE. HIM!"
"You better give it back, Nick," said Sarita. "You never know what he'll take next."
"What part of I hate him don't you understand?" he rolled his eyes. "I will never do anything he wants because of what he did! Fuck that guy!"
"It's your ass, not ours," shrugged Clementine.
"Why didn't you ask Liara for help?" asked Lee. "Doesn't she have a ton of money? I'm sure she could pay for a couple of mercenaries."
"She hasn't answered her phone," he sighed. Nick had called Liara over a week ago and she was yet to get back to him. He knew that she was busy as the shadow broker and all, but she really couldn't give him a yes or no to the whole money situation via text or a quick phone call or voice message?
"Oh I'm taking your shit, AJ." Grabs his presents before running away speedily.
"Good riddance!" said Rebecca.
Aj) Negan took ur shit.
Beat his ass
"N-no thanks," AJ looked back at his snarling mother.
Carver and Aj) It's time for father-son bonding time
Locks them in a room
Rebecca begins pounding on the door
Rebecca: Unlock this door that's not his father!
Me: No
"So uh how are you?" Carver wasn't sure what to talk about with his son. He barely knew the kid.
"Uh my butt hurts," he said after a moment.
"WHAT?!"
"My mom beat my ass because I talked back to my dad," he pouted. "And he's not even my real father! How's that fair?"
"It isn't! I'll be damned if I let someone touch you!" he exclaimed. "You're my son!"
"Yeah!"
"As soon as I find a way outta here, I'm changing your name to WJ."
"Uh what? I thought your name was Carver!" He had always heard people refer to his father as Carver and never anything else. "What's with the 'w'?"
"My first name is actually William not Carver. That's your last name."
"So I'm William Carver Junior?" he asked. Once his father nodded AJ tapped his chin before saying, "I liked Carver Junior better since it means my nickname is CJ."
"Well that can your nickname then," It was better than his son being called AJ.
Clem) why did u call louis lois
"Slip of the tongue," said Clem.
Damn i'm going to miss this when it's over
I'll miss it too.
Tommy) Would you like to leave
Tommy: HELL NO! I'm getting puss every hour I'm here
Winks at Carley who blushes
"Can we get rid of this asshole!" said Lee.
Lee) Your thoughts on Tommy banging all the women
"He's a piece of shit!" said Lee. "How dare he!"
"We don't belong to you, jackass!" said Carley, crossing her arms. "Last time I checked, you don't have any rights to us."
"Yeah Lee." said Christa. "Unless we're married to you, we can all sleep with who we want."
AJ) she fought like a mofo but i got ur presents back
"Tell the guest thank you," said his father. AJ nodded at his dad and took back his presents.
"Thanks!"
"Hey!" Rebecca glared at Carver as she stormed over. "He's not allowed to have those, you asshole! Last time I checked, you're not his father so you don't get to decide!"
"I do today!" he turned to his son. "Go knock yourself out, CJ."
"You mother fucker!" CJ ran off while his mother argued with Carver.
Crawls back here battered and bruised with a taser gun and shoots AJ with it. "Ha.." I weakly chuckled before passing out.
A random person on set comes by to pick up the guest before anyone can do worse shit to her.
"AJ! I mean CJ!" Clementine ran over to AJ's side and then cradled the boy in her arms. "What kind of sick monster does this to a kid?!"
"You're one to talk!" snapped Rebecca. "You're a terrible influence on my son!"
"I'm the reason why your son is alive, you bitch!" Clementine retorted. "Fuck off!"
I lead Rosie and Sam into the room
Rosie Snarls and bites Gabe while Sam bites Duck
"Get this crazy dog off me!" hollered Gabe as Rosie deepened her bite into Gabe's leg. "Call her off! Call her off!"
"Rosie, heel!" she shouted. Rosie let got but was quick to snap at Gabe before going back to Clementine. "I can't really help you Duck."
"Oh gee thanks!" he said sarcastically before punching Sam on the head. "Stupid dog! Let go!"
Grabs the taser from the floor
"Oh Louis." I say, pointing it at him
"Oh shit!" he took off running.
This looks fun
Beats Louis with a pipe
"What the hell is wrong with these people!" he said between hits.
"At least it isn't me," mumbled Nick.
Clem) Ur thoughts on Louis being the new Nick
"You guys are assholes!" Clementine made gave the finger with her right hand.
"Remember where you are," said Luke. "EVERYONE is an asshole."
Clem) Lee tripped u while u were trying to protect louis
"How could you!" Clementine turned to Lee, shocked to hear this.
"That's what he gets! Nobody protects an ass!"
"That's how you feel then? Fine. See if I protect you!"
Rebecca) AJ needs his gifts to protect himself from the crazy bitch who tazered him.
Rebecca: We can protect him *Indicates her and Alvin*
YOU TWO? Rebecca you are always whoring around and Alvin
Looks at him sweating while trying to put socks on
I rest my case
"He'd be dead with you idiots!" said Clementine laughing.
"Did you lose him?" Rebecca cut Clem's laugh short. "He almost died with you too plenty of times. You barely knew how to take care of him yourself!"
"I tried! And he's still alive isn't he?"
"Yeah but that mouth'll get him killed!"
As the two females went back and forth, Alvin was still trying to put on his socks.
Geez! Can we stop with the Louis torture? There's much more deserving assholes, like Clementine.
Clem: What for?
Are you stupid or something? You're a bully! You're an irresponsible, rude, heartless, conniving bitch! If you were my kid, I'd send your dirty ass to juvie, you punk. A grounding won't fix your behavior!
Lee, you're not off the hook either! I don't know why anybody would want a disturbing and sexist individual like you! These ladies are either desperate or have low self esteem to go anywhere near the bedroom with you. There's plenty of attractive and kind-hearted men and women here but no! They chose you! Bad boys and bad girls have an appeal, don't get me wrong, but the moment they cheat or mistreat you, what did you expect? I'm looking at all of you dumb women who're lusting after the scum Lee!
Lastly, screw Tommy! I'm tired of this Gary Stu piece of crap popping up and having women drool over him. It wasn't sexy when it was done to Lee and still isn't sexy! STOP. IT. I bet that it's the same person who has a massive hard-on for Tommy that keeps spamming how hot Tommy is and how much ALL of the female cast loves him. For goodness sake, GO TAKE YOUR HARD-ON SOMEWHERE ELSE. It's getting old just like the Nick and Louis torture you maniacs keep writing up! My goodness!
As much as I like this story, those are the only problems I have. I know it's the scumbag interviews. I'm just calling it how I see it. Plus people have talked shit to other characters, so I'm doing the same thing. Don't get your panties in a twist if you've ranted about the actions of a character in this series.
When the roast is too real.
"Who the hell are you calling disturbing!?" Lee yelled. Someone in the room coughed.
"Yeah and who are you calling a bitch!?"
"The truth hurts doesn't it?" Luke smirked at her.
"Shut up! At least I'm still alive!"
"Oooooooh! Burn!" laughed Duck.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?! YOU'RE DEAD TOO!"
"Damn calm down!" said Gabe. "Duck didn't even say anything bad about you!"
"Where's your sister and step-mother, Gabe? Oh that's right! DECREASED!"
"Geez, cool it Clem!" spoke up Jane. "You're out of control!"
"YOU SHUT IT, YOU DEAD BITCH! Go do what you did at Howes, you snake!"
Everyone) shows them video of James fucking a walker
"Creep!" CJ wrinkled his nose. He was glad Clementine didn't let James take him. He didn't want to be exposed to that nastiness. "You're disgusting!"
"T-that video's fake!" he claimed as his face paled.
"Nasty bastard!" Asher shook his head. "You really couldn't find a living person to touch you! Pathetic!"
"I think I'm going to vomit!" Lilly's covered her mouth. "Oh god really? You're sick!"
"Probably literally," Javier winced.
"He's probably immune," said Clementine. "Nasty fuck! And you almost took CJ because of how he acted! So being violent is dumb, but fucking walkers is okay?! No wonder you fought so hard to keep them alive! They were your fuck buddies!"
Abel) Pours gasoline down his throat and then shoves a lit match in his mouth
Clementine laughs.
Scumabgs Its dinnertime!
they all proceed to dig into the hamburgers.
AJ: This is so fucking good
Yeah, the St. John's made it and Hannibal helped.
The season 1 crew look around alarmed
Clem: Where's Louis and Rebecca?
A door opens and Louis's top half and Rebecca's head falls out
Everyone proceeds to scream
Hannibal: I have Broccoli
Kids: Scream in more terror
Most of the cast either began vomiting, rubbing their tongue with their arm or sleeves, or screamed in terror.
Larry) Lucifer says ur contract is up
Lucifer appears and grabs him
They both poof away where Larry will face eternity in hell
Lilly: No Dad! someone bring him back
"NO." said Lee and Clementine.
"Nobody likes you or your mean dad," said Carley.
"Fuckers!" Lilly ran off.
Nick) Your mother practises prostitution in hell
"Don't talk about my mom!" Nick raged.
"Javier) Demon hands spring out of the floor and drag him to the depths of hell
"Someone hel…"
"NO." said Clementine.
A police officer walks in the room and goes up to Luke.
Officer: What's your name
Luke: Luke
Officer: Did u just threaten me
Luke; No?
PO: He has a weapon
Tases Luke
PO: Don't resist arrest
Beats Luke with the baton he carried
PO: People like u make me sick
Pepper sprays his eyes
Cuffs Luke and drags him away
"Hahahaha!" Clementine burst out laughing at Luke was dragged away. "That was gold! I just wish I had gotten a lick in."
"You are heartless!" Sarah shook her head at the younger female.
"And your father is dead, Sarah!"
"Like I said HEARTLESS!"
Lee) Spray him with pepper spray in the eyes
"MY EYES!" he screamed as he covered up his eyes. "IT BURNS! WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO!?"
"Fuck you!" said Clementine. "That's for tripping me!"
Stranger) May you, Carver and the st. john's burn in the depths of hell after this interview is over
"I don't care," shrugged the man.
Clem) looks at James
how are u able to sit next to this dick when his dick was in a walker's rotting asshole
"He's disgusting!" Clementine wrinkled her nose as she looked the man up and down. "You need help, James."
"I'm telling you, it wasn't me," he didn't look her in the eyes. She was glad she didn't let James drag away CJ. Just thinking of James bringing in a walker to be with while around CJ made her sick to her stomach.
Ben are you related to shaggy from Scooby doo?
"Uh no."
Lee I caught Clem and Louis making out in your bedroom! And Clemmy doesn't have a shirt on!
"OH HELL NO!" Lee looked over at Louis. "Come here you fucker!"
"Oh sh-!" He was tackled by Lee.
"Hey get off of him!" Ed pulled on Lee's shoulder as he drew back his fist. Lee looked back him. "I should be the one to beat his ass!"
Hey Louis did Duck ever tell you the story of the time Clementine peed her pants?
"Shut it, Duck!" she covered up his mouth before he spilled the beans.
Me: (presses an iron to Violet's face) Burn you double crosser Buuuurn!
"What the hell!" she grabbed her face after screaming for a solid 5 minutes. "Oh! Fuck! What the hell! SHIT!"
Lee) Shows him a video of Gabe kissing Clem
Lee pulls out a flame thrower and lights Gabe on fire.
Gabe runs around screaming before his sister throws water on him. Meanwhile Lee is smacked him over the head with a chair by his father.
Snaps fingers and everyone who was dead is brought to life
Brody and Marlon gulp
That's right motherfuckers it's payback time
Straps them to a table
it's time to be waterboarded
"What the hell! Get me off of this table!" yelled Brody.
Carver, Pimp, and Whore) It's time to find out whose child Whore's son is
Draws blood from CJ
After doing the test the father of CJ is... Bill Mary Carver
Wait, looks at the name again and burst out in laughter
That's his name, I feel so bad
"Bill Mary?!" exclaimed Rebecca. Everyone looked at each other before laughing. Carver's face reddened with embarrassment. He had been hoping that nobody would care about his real full name.
"Now I get the whole sheep thing a LOT better!" Clementine wiped a tear from her eye.
ebecca sign here please
Rebeccca does so
Laughs evilly
you just signed custody and guardianship of aj to clem
Rebecca shoots me in the gut with a .44
Falls over holding gut
"W-what the fuck?" she grunted. "I-I bet that b-bitch p-p-put you up to it."
"Nope, but I'm grateful!" she smirked at the woman. "That's what you get for not reading the paper!"
"Jokes on you, Clementine." Carver smirked as he looked at the paper. "This paper says Alvin Junior. CJ and I got his name changed to mine, so this is invalid!"
"WHAT?!"
Lee is showering in the prison when the soap falls and hits the floor, he proceeds to bend over to get it (I guess Lee is temporarily in the interviewing room when asked questions I guess)
?: Surprise motherfucker
Lee: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Clementine flinched in the interview room. Sarah stared at her. "Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah. It's nothing."Savini Jason burst through the door of the interview room and glares at Nick
Nick) Hey u can't be here Tommy-
Realizing Tommy was gone he gulped
Jason begins strangling him until he passes out, and then steps on Nick's head, where nothing but a red streak is left and a few pieces of brain
Lee in this series is basically Hank Moody from Californication: a womanizing, alcohol drinking intellectual/maniac who somehow manages to mostly come out on top. I mean that in two different ways.
Also, Clem still taught CJ to survive, even if he did grow up to be foul-mouthed as Hell. Besides, she's probably a far better influence than anyone in the cabin group would have been.
"Yeah," smirked Clem. "The most he'd learn is how to be a loser that lays on his back and doesn't know who the hell his baby mama is."
"Quiet you!" huffed Rebecca. "I know a great bit about survival thank you. How do you think I've made it so far?"
"By letting everyone else do the work while you suck dick for food."
"You little shit! At least I have BOTH of my legs!"
"Cunt!"
"Bitch!"
You didn't inconvenience me at all! In fact, I've been stuck as to where I should go with that story for a while. I'll keep it going some day, but not any time soon. Keep clicking away with this one!
Also, poor Lee. Guy really can't catch a break, can he? Y'know what, Lee? There's a bar Clem and Jason owned. Free drinks and snacks on me any time you go there.
"Damn, thanks man!" grinned Lee. "With how shit has been going as of late, I could use a drink or two."
Conrad) Ur one of my favorite characters
"I'm glad to hear it!" Conrad grinned. "I don't hear it that often."
Clem) I sided with conrad
"Why?!"
To the bitch who shot omid) I hope u died slowly
"I did," she sighed looking nervously at Christa. (she has a canon name but I'm too lazy to look it up)
Javier is going through the fridge and spots a sandwich with the words "This belongs to Clementine, anyone else who takes it will die!" Javier scoffs and takes off the note.
He freezes when he hears a growling noise behind him and turns to see Clementine holding Rosie's chain
Clem: You were warned
She lets go of the chain, and Rosie bites Javier's balls, causing the man to scream, before a ripping noise is heard.
Rosie moves away from Javier, and we see where his balls and dick were there is nothing but a red hole gushing blood
"I told you!" Clementine smacked him with her crutch. "Thief! Go make your own sandwiches!"
Can u state how old all the scumbag kids are
I guess the same age as AJ which is about 6. In order it's CJ/AJ, Kimberly, Alice, Danni, Rachel, Kaidan, and Troy.
Snaps fingers and Jamie is 10
Unfortunately for Kenny, he was a complete mama's boy
Jane smirked at her ex as she rocked her sleeping son in her arms, flipping Kenny of behind Jamie's back
"That fuckin' bitch," Kenny glared at his ex-wife. "You too, guest! Don't no woman want a little mama's boy!"
"You might wanna watch you say, Kenny." Lee looked around nervously.
"I don't give a fuck! Bring it on!"
Rebecca opens her eyes to see that she was in a unfamiliar place
"Hey Whore!" she looked up to see Freddy Krueger staring at her
He gives her an evil smile
"Welcome to my world bitch" he lunges at her with his glove
Rebecca slapped him upside the head after dodging his attack. "Come at me again, lookin' like a cookie someone left in the oven for too long."
Go ahead and review as you wish. Once again, I'm putting this out because I haven't updated in a while. I have most of page 4 plus 3 full pages to do left. So I'm going to put this out and work on those 4 pages. Feel free to review though. ^^
