A/N - First of all, I'd like to thank you guys for the kind reviews, they really get me going. Also I'm so sorry for being late with the update, hopefully I'll be able to make up for it and post another chapter this week. And of course, as one of the reviewers mentioned, my grammar seem to suck (nothing new here though) but i'm really trying my best to improve especially since English isn't my native language. If you're interested in being my beta, let me know, I'll gladly take you with open arms :) Enjoy and don't forget to review!


Crawling Back To Goodbye

"Come on, wait up!" Johanna exclaimed and ran towards Katniss, who already crossed the finish line a long moment ago.

Johanna placed both of her hands on her knees the minute she reached Katniss, and tried to catch her breath. "That… might be a first, but bitch, you can run", she admitted while panting heavily. Katniss only nodded with a hard look on her face and started stretching.

"Good job! There's a definite improvement in the running department. Take five to rest", their guide said with a small smile.

Johanna patted on Katniss's shoulder and started stretching as well. After a couple of minutes of silence, Johanna growled disapprovingly.

"Hell, even a fish is more talkative than you are today", she grumbled and stood up at once, waiting for Katniss's answer, to which the former only shrugged and remained silent, her eyes cold.

"Is it Fish Brains? What the hell even happened between you two last night?" Johanna urged on and crossed her arms. Katniss stopped her movements only to give Johanna a long, meaningful look.

"I'm sorry, have you taken the vows of god? Or is it just the fact that you moaned so loud last night you kind of lost your voice?" Johanna said and winked.
She knew it would get a good reaction out of her, and it did. Katniss rose to her feet at once and stomped as far as she could get away from Johanna, still silent all along. Johanna simply huffed in frustration and cursed the seven mothers of the Capitol.

"So what exactly do I have to do to get myself into these training sessions?" Finnick asked Haymitch, who only ignored him as a response and smoked what Finnick only recognized as an old fashioned thing called 'pipe'.

"Is it even allowed in here?" Finnick asked in awe. Haymitch only blew a smoke cloud at Finnick's face as a response.

"I'll take that as a no", Finnick sighed and leaned back against his chair.

"Look, I can't promise you anything, especially since you're still injured, but I'm going to try", Haymitch eventually said in a scruffy voice, rubbing his chin with his thumb. Finnick realized it's the best he could get at the moment, and decided to leave.

"Let me know", he called and then exited the room with slow steps. So much free time in his hands, so little to do. An idea popped into his mind. He shoved his head through the door again.

"I know I'm not enrolled yet, but is it possible to… well, visit? Watch, maybe?" Finnick asked with mischief.
Haymitch crooked a smile and shrugged. Finnick took it as a green light and hurried over to the training center. He figured Katniss won't be too happy to see him, but he might as well try. The one thing he learned from sleeping with all of these Capitol women is that the whole female kind appreciates effort. Of any kind.

"So, does anybody know why you're not allowed to carry any weapons just yet?" Their guide asked the minute they all sat down as instructed.

A dozen of hands were raised in a moment. The guide walked in between the lines and studied each and every single future-soldier carefully, eyeing them. She stopped her tracks right beside Katniss's chair, placed her hand on the back of it, and said nothing. Katniss rolled her eyes. She wasn't the one to talk, and the guide knew that, also she wasn't in a much 'giddy' mood right now and the thought of Finnick reminding her of that blonde bimbo got her to clench her jaw even harder. Nope, she wasn't going to get her talking. Not today.

"Johanna? Would you like to answer instead seeing as your fellow victor friend will not speak for the next decade?" The guide said when she realized it's either this or nothing.

Johanna blinked in surprise and looked around in search for the origin of the voice. Clearly enough for everyone and even the guide, she was far from attentive a few moments earlier. Their guide merely rolled her eyes.

"You wouldn't want them to kick ass so early, wouldn't you?" they all heard a voice coming from the back of the room. Finnick leaned on the door, his arms crossed and a winning grin upon his lips, indicating his amusement.

"Ah, mister Odair, it's nice of you to join us, but as far as I recall, you are not on the lists", their guide said and stayed put, not even turning her head to look at him in awe like the rest of the class did, with the exception of Katniss of course, who only sat there with a dark expression on her face, as if she was about to get up and murder the charming intruder at once.

"Hopefully, that's about to change", he muttered under his breath and shifted uncomfortably.

"May I stay and watch?" he added, trying to search the room for Katniss. He furrowed his eyebrows when he realized she was the one seating beside the female guide, with her back to him.

"Do as you please", the guide replied. Finnick caught Johanna's gaze.

"What the fuck have you done?" she mouthed, knowing he was quite an expert in reading lips. Finnick shook his head and rolled his eyes, gesturing with both of his hands to create a big, moving mouth. Johanna seemed to understand and gave him the middle finger.

"I told you to stop talking", she mouthed again and turned back around to face the big black old fashioned chalk board, pretending to exam the large map of Panem that was hanging from it.

The class went on for another thirty minutes, in which Finnick tuned out everything that was going on in that room and never dared to take his eyes of Katniss, who simply remained in her seat, uninterested in her surroundings. As soon as class was dismissed, a couple dozens of future-soldiers rushed through the door, crushing Finnick in the process. All along, he tried to raise his head and see beyond the many people in the room in order to find Katniss. "Fix this", Johanna whispered firmly in his ear as she brushed by him on her way out. When the last of people left, he looked outside the door to see if he managed to miss her by accident, but she wasn't there. He returned to the class to get one last glimpse of it, and to his surprise, there she was, still on her chair, with her back to him.

He stood aside and studied her for a couple of minutes. Hesitation seemed to eat his gut and he couldn't decide whether it was time for him to approach or just leave her be. He breathed deeply and gulped the lump formed in his throat and started taking small steps towards her. He was never that afraid of talking to her ever before. This time he really did mess up, and they both knew it.

"Hey", he said in a cracked voice when he reached her, standing behind her chair. Her expression was still hidden from him due to their position. She did not answer. Finnick fell silent again and stroked the stubble on his chin.

"Look, I'm really sorry about before, I didn't mean to-"

"I don't have time for this, for you. I have to go", she said as she got up at once. He didn't even blink and she was already walking past him, her steps firm.

"Goddammit", he hissed to himself, turned around and jogged to catch up with her. He reached the door before she did, and simply blocked it with his body.

"Wait, I know you need your time, I do, I just wanted to tell you it's going to be different from now on… I'm going to be better, this is going to be better", he said and dropped his eyes to the floor, not daring to look at her.
Finnick felt his chin being lifted up by Katniss's thumb, a look of compassion inside her eyes.

"You're right, this isn't the time and I'm not sure it's ever going to be time. I have Peeta, and you had Annie, and you're obviously still mourning. This, whatever this is, it's not real, it's just our emotions playing us in times of need, of loneliness, of desperation. We're broken hearted, and it's easier to think there's someone out there for us, waiting when it's dark. I want you to focus on yourself, on getting healed, on letting it all out, even if it's with her, I'm happy for you, I still care about you and I will watch you from afar", she said tenderly with clear ache in her trembling voice.

Sharp pain shot through his chest like a seven inch long knife, stabbing him in all the right places, making him bleed out for her, for her words he didn't want to hear.
He searched for any kind of doubt, of hesitation in her eyes, but he found none, her eyes were placed on her own shoes, staring down, hiding from him.

He placed his thumb and forefinger under her chin, much like she did to him a few moments before, and tried to lift her chin up so he could get a better look of her face.
She quickly grabbed his hand with hers with restraint, and pushed his palm away.

"No", she said weakly as his hand dropped to his sides in defeat.

"I… I will see you around, Finn", she said, and with that, he stepped aside and let her walk out of the room, or maybe from his life for a good measure of time. He didn't want to think of forever.

It's the first time she called him Finn. He liked it.


A/N - It's the last of goodbyes for now. I just figured they need some time apart. What did you think?