Disclaimer: I don't own FML or Twilight (Breaking Dawn) that's by Stephenie Meyer

FML Twilight

Today, I lost a bet over an arm-wrestling match to my little sister; I have like a hundred pound and a foot advantage over her. I'm the most muscular and ripped out of the family but my stick-skinny sister pounded my arm down into the boulder smashing a piece off! Then she continued karate chopping the boulder until it powdered into dust. I was looking forward to cracking jokes about her sex-life when I won but now I'm just waiting for the next rematch. Which my brother suggests be in a month after my humiliating defeat. FML.

By: BearHunter

Comments:

1. Sucker you got beat by a girl – by She'sAWhipper

2. Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy – by EnvironmentallyFriendly

3. Where have I seen that before? Ooh ya I own a t-shirt – by SpreadTheWord

4. Work out some more, Buddy – by 3HoursADay

5. Blowflex :) - by WashBoardAbs

6. Maybe you're not as buff as you think – by OverEstimations

7. Steroids are the way to go! – by TestosteronePower

8. You know over dosing on steroids equals too much testosterone which, gets converted to estrogen, which makes you more of a girl – by BackFiringPlans

9. Maybe your sister popping steroids – by EasyWayOut

10. What a cheater! – by GoodOldFashionWeights

11. World's Strongest Women – by HowManly

12. Yup, too much steroids makes a girl more of a guy – by GoesBothWays

13. You guys broke a boulder? – by SuperHumanStrength

14. Naw its probably those Styrofoam boulders – by MovieSpecialEffects

15. Karate chops, Somersaults, High Kicks, Back Flips, Grinding Hips, Sexy Lips – by GreatInBed

16. Martial arts is full of interesting moves – by TigerClaw

17. You haven't tried Yoga – by DownwardFacingDog

18. Does is involve getting on all fours? – I'dTapThat

19. Someone need sex education – by CountlessPositions

20. Horny guys, turning everything into sex – by DirtyMindedBoys

21. Maybe some people are sensitive cause they do get any – by Non-existenceSexLife

22. Ooo some1 got pwned 2day! – by InMoreWaysThanOne

23. Mario Party anyone? – by PrincessPeach1999

24. Noooob! That's such a sissy game, you need the real action Halo, Call of Duty, shit like that – by BasementGamer

25. Yeahh Mann! – by HeadShotSniper

26. Those games are so nasty and violent; people get blown up into pieces – by HowIsThatFun?

27. That's soooo fun blowing up stuff – by PyroFreak

28. Girl's don't try to understand – by MaleTwistedMindFrame

29. Boys and their toys – by AmusedGirl

30. Girls and their pearls and other expensive needs – by ConfusedBoy

31. Not all girls are gold diggers, the majority of girls are happy just being with their boyfriends – by NormalStandards

32. BearHunter can you even hold a gun? – by YouSeemWeak

33. Maybe just in video games – by ShootingBears

34. What game has bear shooting? By I'veOnlyHeardOfDuckShooting

35. Open Season – by AKidGame

36. No, he goes teddy bear hunting for his sister – by CallOfBrotherlyDuty

37. I ACTUALLY GO GRIZZLY BEAR HUNTING; I SNAP THE NECKS AND DRAIN THEIR BLOOD UNLIKE YOU LAZY KIDS THAT LIFE REVOLVES IN A VIRTAL GAME! DON'T GET ME STARTED ON SEX-LIFE MY WIFE AND I ALREADY KNOCKED DOWN A BILLION HOUSES DESTROYED FROM THREE FLOORS TO THE GROUND LEVEL! NO OTHER HUMAN IN THE WORLD IS STRONGER THAN ME; I'LL BREAK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IN ARM-WRESTING! GRRRRRRR!– BY RAGINGBEARHUNTER

38. Oh. Mr Bear you sound like a mean beast in bed but I'm a wild cat, we should have some fun in a bush sometime – by ICanKeepUp

39. HANDS OFF PUSSYCAT HE'S MINE – by GoldenRose

40. Thought you only liked your brother – by ReadYourLastEntry

41. ... Creeper... – by GoldenRose

42. You're not the strongest human in the world, you're younger sister beat you – by MemoryRefresher

43. SHUT THE FUCK UP! – by RAGINGBEARHUNTER

44. The bear has spoken – by AndHeAin'tHappy

45. Fuck them, their idiots – by GoldenRose

46. I'd rather you – by BearHunter

47. Ok, meet you in the garden ;) – by GoldenRose

48. Don't eat any apples! They're forbidden fruit – by GodWon'tBeHappy

49. Too late for that. Adam and Eve already did – by GoMakeTheDevilProud

50. And there off... – by ThisIsGoingToGetDirty