Disclaimer: I don't own FML or Twilight (Breaking Dawn) that's by Stephenie Meyer
FML Twilight
Today, I lost a bet over an arm-wrestling match to my little sister; I have like a hundred pound and a foot advantage over her. I'm the most muscular and ripped out of the family but my stick-skinny sister pounded my arm down into the boulder smashing a piece off! Then she continued karate chopping the boulder until it powdered into dust. I was looking forward to cracking jokes about her sex-life when I won but now I'm just waiting for the next rematch. Which my brother suggests be in a month after my humiliating defeat. FML.
By: BearHunter
Comments:
1. Sucker you got beat by a girl – by She'sAWhipper
2. Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy – by EnvironmentallyFriendly
3. Where have I seen that before? Ooh ya I own a t-shirt – by SpreadTheWord
4. Work out some more, Buddy – by 3HoursADay
5. Blowflex :) - by WashBoardAbs
6. Maybe you're not as buff as you think – by OverEstimations
7. Steroids are the way to go! – by TestosteronePower
8. You know over dosing on steroids equals too much testosterone which, gets converted to estrogen, which makes you more of a girl – by BackFiringPlans
9. Maybe your sister popping steroids – by EasyWayOut
10. What a cheater! – by GoodOldFashionWeights
11. World's Strongest Women – by HowManly
12. Yup, too much steroids makes a girl more of a guy – by GoesBothWays
13. You guys broke a boulder? – by SuperHumanStrength
14. Naw its probably those Styrofoam boulders – by MovieSpecialEffects
15. Karate chops, Somersaults, High Kicks, Back Flips, Grinding Hips, Sexy Lips – by GreatInBed
16. Martial arts is full of interesting moves – by TigerClaw
17. You haven't tried Yoga – by DownwardFacingDog
18. Does is involve getting on all fours? – I'dTapThat
19. Someone need sex education – by CountlessPositions
20. Horny guys, turning everything into sex – by DirtyMindedBoys
21. Maybe some people are sensitive cause they do get any – by Non-existenceSexLife
22. Ooo some1 got pwned 2day! – by InMoreWaysThanOne
23. Mario Party anyone? – by PrincessPeach1999
24. Noooob! That's such a sissy game, you need the real action Halo, Call of Duty, shit like that – by BasementGamer
25. Yeahh Mann! – by HeadShotSniper
26. Those games are so nasty and violent; people get blown up into pieces – by HowIsThatFun?
27. That's soooo fun blowing up stuff – by PyroFreak
28. Girl's don't try to understand – by MaleTwistedMindFrame
29. Boys and their toys – by AmusedGirl
30. Girls and their pearls and other expensive needs – by ConfusedBoy
31. Not all girls are gold diggers, the majority of girls are happy just being with their boyfriends – by NormalStandards
32. BearHunter can you even hold a gun? – by YouSeemWeak
33. Maybe just in video games – by ShootingBears
34. What game has bear shooting? By I'veOnlyHeardOfDuckShooting
35. Open Season – by AKidGame
36. No, he goes teddy bear hunting for his sister – by CallOfBrotherlyDuty
37. I ACTUALLY GO GRIZZLY BEAR HUNTING; I SNAP THE NECKS AND DRAIN THEIR BLOOD UNLIKE YOU LAZY KIDS THAT LIFE REVOLVES IN A VIRTAL GAME! DON'T GET ME STARTED ON SEX-LIFE MY WIFE AND I ALREADY KNOCKED DOWN A BILLION HOUSES DESTROYED FROM THREE FLOORS TO THE GROUND LEVEL! NO OTHER HUMAN IN THE WORLD IS STRONGER THAN ME; I'LL BREAK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IN ARM-WRESTING! GRRRRRRR!– BY RAGINGBEARHUNTER
38. Oh. Mr Bear you sound like a mean beast in bed but I'm a wild cat, we should have some fun in a bush sometime – by ICanKeepUp
39. HANDS OFF PUSSYCAT HE'S MINE – by GoldenRose
40. Thought you only liked your brother – by ReadYourLastEntry
41. ... Creeper... – by GoldenRose
42. You're not the strongest human in the world, you're younger sister beat you – by MemoryRefresher
43. SHUT THE FUCK UP! – by RAGINGBEARHUNTER
44. The bear has spoken – by AndHeAin'tHappy
45. Fuck them, their idiots – by GoldenRose
46. I'd rather you – by BearHunter
47. Ok, meet you in the garden ;) – by GoldenRose
48. Don't eat any apples! They're forbidden fruit – by GodWon'tBeHappy
49. Too late for that. Adam and Eve already did – by GoMakeTheDevilProud
50. And there off... – by ThisIsGoingToGetDirty
