Chapter Eleven

There were many times in Derek Morgan's life he woke up in a strange bed
with a hangover but never did he feel worse about it than that day. When he
first opened his eyes, for a moment, he didn't know where he was or who he
was laying next to but all too soon reality kicked in.

Tamara Barnes was laying beside him, wearing an oversized t-shirt. He had on
his jeans but no shirt. "Shit!"

All he wanted was to get out of there but he couldn't think or hardly
breath. He sat up, threw his legs over the side of the bed, and held his head
in his hands as he thought about how much he had messed up his life. His head
was throbbing. He tried to remember the night before but it was coming back in
foggy snatches of memory.

They had sat on her couch, drank some wine, talked about Penelope and about
Tamara getting in the middle of his relationship with his baby girl and
then...

Just then Derek felt Tamara shift on the bed, signaling she was awake. He was
about to get up when she wrapped her arms around him and kissed the back of
his neck.

She said "Good morning, Agent."

"What the hell went down last night? How much did we have to drink?"

"I guess enough so you hardly remember, huh?"

He rubbed his head. "We didn't, did we?"

"We were kissing and getting there when you started crying about that cow of
a girlfriend and passed out. You're welcome for me taking care of you. I'd
do it anytime, honey."

Hearing a term of endearment come off her mouth made him want to throw up. He
jumped up, grabbed his shirt and shoes and headed for the living room to look
for the rest of his stuff. Tamara came running after him.

"Derek-"

"Don't! I never should have been here at all. I've got to get out of
here. You don't get how bad this is for my life!"

"She doesn't trust you! She doesn't understand you like I do! You know
this is where you belong."

"SHUT UP! You know NOTHING about Penelope."

"I don't need to know about her to know you belong here with me."

"I will never come back here and I will sure as hell will never BELONG to
anyone but her. Let this go! I'll never sleep with you, do you hear me?
Don't ever call me again. I love my girlfriend. Don't you get that?
Didn't you hear what I said last night?"

"Yeah, I heard everything you said. You gave her your whole heart and she
stomped on it. I would never treat you like that bitch did."

"Don't call her that! This is all on me. Not on her!"

"You don't need to cry over her anymore. I'll help you through this like you
helped me through losing my brother. We always help each other, Derek. That's
why we are perfect for each other."

"I'm out of here. Forget you ever met me because I sure will do my best to
forget I ever let you into my life. I've crossed every line I believe in
over you!"

"Because you can't deny we are good together. We had an instant
connection." She tried to take him into her arms.

He felt repulsed by her touch. "I don't know how to be any damn clearer.
I'm in love with someone else and I won't ever return your feelings. So
let this GO!" He ran out of there still carrying his clothes, keys, wallet
and phone.

His mind was in misery. Since he couldn't go home and risk seeing Penelope
he went to the gym and worked out for a couple of hours then took a long
shower. The whole time he was tormented with thoughts of the life he could
have had with Penelope if he didn't revert to his childish, prideful,
selfish ways and make so many mistakes.

In the break room he got some coffee but his mind was still back at the night
before and the huge blowout fight with Penelope. And then he thought about how
he kissed Tamara when he was drunk and blubbering on about Penelope.

Hotch interrupted his thoughts "Morgan?"

"What? Yeah. What's up?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired."

"If you need to talk-"

"I'm fine, Hotch. Drop it, okay?"

"You know where to find me if you change your mind," Hotch said before
walking off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Penelope woke up that day she realized Derek was not in the bed. Not that
she really thought he would come home after that kind of argument but a small
part of her hoped he would slip into bed in the middle of the night, pull her
close and show her that he would always come back even through the worst of
disagreements.

That he needed to hold her to sleep. That he wanted to try and make it right.

But he hadn't done that and now she lay there alone. Glancing at the clock
she realized she was late for work. Jumping out of bed she rushed to get
ready. Then she gave Hotch a quick call so he would know she was running
behind. After racing to work she headed straight for her office and started up
her babies, determined to keep her mind off Derek and on her job till quitting
time.

Since he had came in late she decided to go personally apologize to Hotch. She
knew that everyone would be able to tell something was up with her though
because she didn't fix herself up in her usual bright outfit, didn't do
her hair in an elaborate style, didn't wear her stunning make-up, and had
sunglasses on inside to hide her puffy eyes from all the crying she did the
night before. Thinking it couldn't be helped if everyone noticed her misery
she went to her boss's office.

Once she knocked he told her she could come in. One look at her and his face
filled with worry.

Hotch greeted Penelope. "Garcia, morning, what can I do for you?"

"Sir, I just wanted to apologize for arriving late. It won't happen
again." She tried to sound bubbly but she knew it fell flat.

"Don't worry about it. Everyone oversleeps sometimes. Why don't you come
in and shut the door."

"Boss man?" she asked, not moving an inch.

He rose from his desk. "I'm concerned about you. Obviously something is
bothering you today and if you would like to discuss it-"

"I really need to get back to work."

"Five minutes. If it affects you then I do care because you are an important
part of this team. It would go no further than this room. Its clear something
has happened."

"Sir, with all due respect, do not profile me! I am not one of your suspects
in the interrogation room. Don't worry about my personal problems. Now, if
its okay with you, I have work to do!" She rushed through the bullpen with
everyone staring at her and slammed the door of her office once she got
inside.

She left Hotch more shocked and worried than ever about her. But he knew he
would have to wait for her to want to talk about whatever was bothering her.
The team had their 10 am briefing. Since there was no new case everyone went
in different directions. Rossi and Reid headed to the university to explain
their craft and to encourage students to learn more about their craft. JJ went
through all the cases on her desk to try and pick a new one for the team.
Hotch finished up more paperwork before going to a meeting with Strauss to
talk about the team's budget. He sent Derek and Emily to a prison to do an
interview with a serial killer.

In the car Emily was so worried about Penelope that she brought it up to
Derek. "Hey, don't bite my head off, but I can see you're not in the
best of moods-"

"You're point?"

"And either is Penelope today."

"I don't know what you want me to say. She's pissed at me, okay?" he
snapped at her.

"Listen, I know you don't want me in your business but I'm worried about
Garcia, "said Emily, she hears Morgan sighed and she looked and she saw it
tight.

"Listen, you're right Emily, its not your business!"

Prentiss looked shocked and then she said. "You saw her this morning! As
soon as I saw her I knew something was wrong. She's not just your
girlfriend. She is also my friend and she is part of our family. You need to
fix this."

"I'm not talking about this with you. Keep your head on work, please!"

Meanwhile Penelope was in her office when she heard her phone ringing. In a
lousy mood she answered it formally "Penelope Garcia, how may I help
you?"

"Oh kitty, you answer the phone like that now? How mundane."

She was surprised to realize that it was an old friend from Los Angeles who
she had not spoken to in a while. "Well it's been a long time! What have
you been, my sweet lamb?"

"I'm still the same old me! Pen are you?"

"You know me, my life is too boring for words, other than my job as a tech
kitten. How is Los Angeles treating you?"

"Good. Sam said to tell you hello." says Callen. Callen work for the Los
Angeles NCIS, They have been friends in years. He has always been there when
she needed it like a brother to her. Sam works with Cullen and is also
friendly with Penelope. "When are you gonna come out here for some fun and
sun? We miss our favorite tech kitten."

"Sounds like a very good idea especially as you miss me!" Then she started
to cry.

"Penelope Garcia is wrong? Tell me. We have been friends for so long that
you know you can trust me."

"You know me too well. Did you call just to hear my woes? Or I can do
something for you?"

Sometimes she did searches for them if they were stuck. Cullen was more
concerned with Penelope then any search so they chatted for an hour.

At the same time Tamara showed up in the foyer. Security wouldn't let her up
without permission. Hotch had to come down and talk to her.

"Hello, Ms. Barnes, isn't it?"

"Yes, Agent...?"

"Hotchner."

"Hotch, right! Derek talks all about you. I remember meeting you during my
brother's case."

"What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to see the Agent Morgan please?"

"He's currently in the field. It would be better if you contact him via
his cell and wait for him to get back to you. He is actually rarely in the
office and so its a waste of time to drop in."

"I don't mind. I could wait for him.:

"He won't be back for hours. I'll tell him you were here. Have a nice
day, Ms. Barnes, and please remember to, in the future, contact Morgan outside
of the office."

"Wait, please! I don't mean to be a bother but here," she pulled a
necklace out of her pocket "Derek forget this at my home when he left this
morning."

Hotch took the necklace. Looking at it he saw that it said Baby girl on it and
had some dates. He tried to stifle his shock. "I will pass this along to
him."

"But I'd like to see him. I don't mind waiting around, really. Its no
bother."

"I explained already that is not possible at this time to visit Agent
Morgan. He's in the field and not expected back for some time. Good day, Ms.
Barnes." He walked away with a ticked off expression on his face