Author's Note: wow! last chapter did so well i'm amazed, i'm hoping this chapter is liked as well. quick author's note here because I have to head to the hospital to visit my mom. next one will be longer. thank you so much for your reviews and please! keep them coming! :D thank you!
Manda
Ruby had left for a week leaving Vanessa the apartment all to herself, it was the place she'd chosen for them to sit and talk. She knew she could use the apartment as an example of what she needed to point out and say. Her whole body seemed to shake as she sat across from him trying everything she could to stay completely calm. The way he was looking at her wasn't helping, the somewhat nervous but mostly smile across his face was making her words even tougher. Before she'd gone to the wedding her mind had been made up and clear, but after she'd realized that her decisions would only hurt him in the long run she knew what she had to do. Not what she wanted to do but what she had to do. She loved him more than that, being the reason that everything he knew was taken away from him. It wasn't something she'd vocalize though, she already knew she just had to make her demands and tell her decisions.
As he sat down across from her and slid an Italian ice from the freezer across the table, of course after taking his own spoonful of it, Vanessa had a hard time looking at him. He seemed so careful and so doting. That's what made Vanessa's words that much more difficult to get out. She didn't want to see the disappointment in his face knowing she'd been the one to cause it. She didn't want to think of the word again after she'd been so sure she was done with it. Her decisions were decisions she hadn't planned on changing until his life was brought into the mess that was her own. If she was going to bring herself down how could she bring him down along with her. So, she'd gone back and evaluated everything. Her own feelings could and would be put aside to spare his life. She wasn't going to be the one he resented, and she wasn't going to put their innocent child in the middle of all of their problems. How would that even have been anywhere near fair to the child, she loved the little life already far too much to doom it to a life of hell and fighting.
"I don't have the slightest clue how to say this"
His perfect blue eyes were staring at her and all Vanessa wanted to do was shrink and disappear. She'd be both letting him down and setting him free, but she'd also be letting herself down, something she hadn't expected. The last thing she'd expected after getting the news of her pregnancy was to become attached to it. Already her mind faltered to think of what she'd think every time she looked in the mirror. She was getting so used to laying a cautious hand across her stomach, when that was gone she wasn't sure how she'd feel. Part of her was relying on the baby to make her feel like she was doing something right. Why was it that things that made you feel so good genuinely were so wrong, just like falling in love with him had been.
"I told you before V, I'm not pressuring you into any decision. Ultimately you're the one that has the final say, but, if you decide that we're having this baby then no matter how much you challenge me I'm taking care of the three of…"
His words were just making everything harder she decided as she reached forward and put her hand over his mouth only to feel the electricity through her hand at the feel of his lips on her skin. Vanessa was having a hard time keeping composure as she felt his lips on her palm in a pucker. Her restraint was wearing down; her need for him to just sit with her in silence was becoming greater by the moment. She'd of given anything to let him in while she was still pregnant, to feel his hands cover over the spot their combination lay.
"Nate, I… this… um… I can't continue this. It's not a good idea for either one of us. Not for any of us really. Once it's all behind us we can move on like it never existed."
As the words slipped from her mouth she winced, she already knew there wouldn't have been a way that she'd get past it. It wasn't like she hadn't attempted the abortion in the past. Both times she'd tried they'd both failed, already knowing that this outcome was going to be different made her feel like she was going to throw up. She couldn't eat the Italian ice in front of her as she pushed it away with the back of her hand. Vanessa couldn't look him in the eyes as she did everything to avoid looking at him.
"V, are you…"
He started to protest and Vanessa nodded her head mechanically right away ending his questions. She couldn't bear to hear the words anymore then she had to. Already she dreaded it. In her head she could already hear Elle's questions about the fishy and when the fishy could come back from heaven. Between the unexplained sadness in Nate's eyes and her own agony over what she had to do Vanessa shut her eyes and took a few deep breaths, why did life always have to hand you hard options that you couldn't come to terms with without it costing someone besides yourself also. She knew the decision at hand would cost her more than just her dignity, it would cost her part of herself too, herself and Nate. Maybe that was the way things were supposed to be. They really weren't meant to be together and he was meant to be better than her without her holding him back from the things he was or wanted.
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Green, orange, red, blue, splashes of color decorated her dress; it was supposed to be the main focal point of the dress. The blue crop jacket was something she'd added as an afterthought thinking it would take some of the pressure off. Standing in front of the full length mirror she could see it even in the dress. It wasn't just something her mind had dreamed up, every little bit of it showed in her own eyes. Even if the thirteen weeks worth of bump was not the most detectable other then looking like she'd eaten too much before going out. There was only a hand full of people that knew the real truth behind it. Maureen was going to be disappointed, this was the thing she'd been trying to protect her from. She was in possession of the one thing Maureen wanted and she was about to just give it up. Chuck would have told her Nate was a big boy and he could make his own decisions, but they both knew that was a lie. Cora told her she needed to follow her own heart, everything happened for a reason. Scott told her she was doing the right thing, the faster she cut her ties the better, the faster she could put it behind her and move on with her life. Dan, Dan wasn't speaking to her and Nate's face even though he didn't mean to showed the disappointment. Everyone who knew knew that the biggest decision of Vanessa's life stayed contently for the time being underneath her heart in its comfortable home. One that would all too soon be destroyed, the thought made Vanessa shiver. It was going to be a long day, perhaps the longest day of her life.
From the second that Vanessa opened her eyes the only thing she wanted was to pull the covers over her head and bypass the day. There wasn't a second of it that she actually wanted to face, it would have made the events that would take place later in the evening come too soon. Events that she was dreading already, she'd already agonized and thrown up over them a few times. The pink nail polish she'd painted her nails with had ended up all over her hands from her shaking. A shaking that came from the fact she was in for a long day, a day she didn't want to come. This wasn't the way she wanted it to be. Just lingering on the thought made her feel like her stomach was once again revolting against her. How did she ever decide on this mess. The selfish part of her wanted to tune out what Anne had said to her. Part of her wanted to act for herself and not let go of their baby, of her baby. But, Anne was right, when things didn't work out the baby would have been caught in the middle of all the fights and messes. What kind of a life would that have been? As much as Vanessa loved her mother she resented her for never being a real mother and she had no doubt in the fact that Nate resented his. What kind of mother would that have made her.
Tracing her steps back to the bed she sat down with a broken sigh pulling her lap top on her lap. She'd been up all night, reading things. Things between being pregnant and abortion stories, all good and bad, she still felt like it was going to be all bad. Had things stayed alright and she didn't go along with the things that were planned and scheduled for the day her due date was December twenty-fifth, somewhere around that she would have been screaming in pain. Her Christmas present would have been one of the things that scared her the most yet she'd of preferred it to the alternative. Even petrified of the thought that the little life inside of her depending on her more than even Ruby it was still her little life. She was supposed to be the one in charge of it, nurturing and taking care of it. Even if Vanessa wasn't that person this was so much different than anything she'd imagined it ever being. Part of her felt almost ready for it. No, she needed to turn herself off and let it go. This just wasn't the time and Nate just wasn't the one.
Shutting the lap top she pushed it away from her and lay back on the bed pulling the pillow over her face, if she fell asleep and slept through the day maybe everyone would have just forgotten about her. She knew that wouldn't have happened, Scott would be there in an hour to pick her up and she was already in hot water with Dan, not going to his graduation would have just made it worse. She needed to mend fences not break them more. As she lay with her head still under her pillow she heard the quiet shutting of the apartment door and knew it only could have been one person. A person she didn't bother to move a single inch for, she knew why he was there. She stayed quiet as she heard his careful footsteps enter the room, bend in the bed as he sat down beside her body, and his warm hand as he rested it on her stomach. His hand burned her, his placement would have been perfect if she didn't already feel all the animosity that was wracking through her. His touch was delicate, that fact alone made her want to curl into a small ball and shutter away from him. But she didn't, she needed to act like what they were going to do was what she wanted.
If he knew that she was doing what his mother wanted he'd of been so disappointed in her. Ashamed of the fact that for the first time in her life she was following orders rather than going by what she felt was right. Even more so that she was compromising their baby for what his mother wanted, and, demanded. Giving up she pulled the pillow off of her face but avoided any sort of eye contact. She couldn't let him see just how torn apart she really was over it all. How badly she didn't want to do it.
"Hey"
She smiled slightly in return as he picked up something off of the side of the bed that she didn't see till he was holding it out for her to take. Two orange roses, it was his graduation and he was bringing her roses. It was the Nate she'd fallen in love with, the one who'd conceived the child with her. The child that was somewhere right under his hand. Vanessa felt more and more pressure as she lay there with him looking at her, she needed to move.
"I just wanted to come and make sure you were ok. I mean, today's a big day and everything. I just… Vanessa you can still change your mind. One way or another we can do this. You can even still go to college like you want to, everything will be ok. Just say the word and this baby isn't going anywhere."
Pulling herself from his grip she looked away from him as she reached for the green dangle earrings to put in her ears. Anything to distract her mind for even a second, something to do with her hands other then linger on it. After they were in she turned around and shook her head.
"Scott's gonna be here soon and you laying on my bed like that is going to look just a little bit suspicious"
Faking another smile she looked at him laying on her bed like he'd been there all night. He had a graduation to get ready for and she needed space to think for a little while. Him being there was not helping her set a numb emotion log.
Soon as she walked through the gate he saw her. Dress, leggings, high heels, fake smile… he could see right through it even across her face. the only thing that gave off the slightest hint that all was not right was the huge blue-green bag she was clinging to. if he hadn't been suspiciously watching her so close he wouldn't have thought anything of it. He had been watching though, waiting to see if there really was a physical difference just yet. Other then the purse he didn't see anything. All he saw was his liar of a best friend who left him in the dark till someone else filled him in first. They'd done a lot wrong by one another in the past but this was the tip of the iceberg. The most life changing thing in her life and he'd had to find out from a man that neither of them was even supposed to like.
He hadn't taken her calls, he hadn't gone to the gallery, he hadn't checked up on her in over a week. Dan was to mad and proud to take a second to stop and worry about what she was up to and what had happened this time. He felt betrayed and hurt over the things she'd done. There was a small part that was also mad at her, for being so stupid. With Nate's lack of brain he wasn't surprised but she was Vanessa, she was supposed to be careful. Vanessa hadn't ever said she wanted kids, she wanted her future in film, independent film. She hadn't ever even said that she wanted college and Nate walked into the picture and suddenly college was her future? Now on top of it she was pregnant, she'd fallen so far from who she'd used to be, from who she should have been, in his opinion anyway.
Chocolate brown eyes followed her every stop she looked through the uppity socialites to find his father and sister. She looked so lost and confused, but, when Dan attempted to look at her he could see something underlying, a pain that was only partly clear. She wasn't looking where she was going, she was trying to find the two. He watched as Anne Archibald turned her eyes to Vanessa and a sneer graced her already stone like face. What Dan did catch was what Anne had done next. Dropping her bag directly in Vanessa's way as Vanessa was walking had been deliberate. Vanessa's shoe got stuck on the handle of it mid step and her ankle twisted and she fell right down onto her knees in front of a small crowd that turned to look at her. Vanessa hadn't ever been the girl to be kicked around and fall apart but, part of him expected her to crumble. He wasn't sure who she was anymore, he didn't know if his best friend had been completely taken over or not. She proved him wrong though, holding her eyes shut for just a moment she put both hands down on the floor for a second before standing up and taking a moment to straighten the blue half jacket she had on over her dress. She looked straight ahead not once looking at Anne as she put her head up and walked forward.
The way she carried herself as she walked away from the scene wasn't the Vanessa he'd always known, there was something a little more broken to the Vanessa in front of him then his beloved best friend. As he watched her he remembered something, there was a reason his mother wasn't going to be at the graduation. He had a baby sister that weighed less than two pounds struggling for her life in the hospital. He took a sideways glance at Vanessa, he couldn't see her as a mother. He couldn't see her in the same position as his mother. Carrying around a baby, worrying about a child, that wasn't his adventurous, fierce, opinionated, stubborn best friend. Regardless of what he thought though she was already pregnant, she'd already screwed up in that aspect.
Still in his slight daze thinking about it all he hadn't noticed her come over to them in till she'd said hi and Jenny had hugged her. Jenny didn't know her secrets just yet, that wouldn't have made for a very comfortable graduation. She didn't talk to him, they just studied one another for a second. He watched as she clutched the bag she'd been carrying her tightly in front of her. Her video camera was off in her hand, that was the part that reminded him of his Vanessa again and he took a step forward putting his hand on her arm.
"Are you ok?"
Turning to put her back to Jenny and Rufus a very fake smile crossed her face as she looked at him. Her voice dropped to an almost low whisper that held a bit of underlying seething in it and as much as he should have been aggravated over it that was typical his Vanessa.
"Don't do it Dan, I've called you and tried to apologize, you're the one that won't pick up. So don't try to act concerned."
They looked at one another at odds, even when Serena had come between them it hadn't been this hostel and they hadn't been this hurt. He took in her hurt expression and her anger as she looked away from him back over in the direction of Anne talking away to her friends. As she looked away Dan looked at the camera then back at her, she was still his best friend. That was what made him pull her into a hug, a tight brotherly bear hug. He realized as soon as she clung onto him that's what she'd needed to begin with.
"Now, how about I get to documenting this thing in history… where's Allison? I know things haven't been great but I can't see her missing this today. It's a big day her son's grownup with the rest of his rich classmates."
She seemed oddly back to herself as she took a step back and turned on her camera flashing it in his face with a devilish smirk. He'd forgotten the pains of having her around before, the camera always right in his face. She'd caught some of his most embarrassing moments on tape in the past, today would be no different. His mother, that was a case he didn't want to tell her. There was just something in it that seemed to close to home and to sensitive for him to bother her with.
"She's just not… Scott"
Saved by the person he thought was hiding more then he said. There was something about Scott and Dan couldn't quite put his hand on it that Dan didn't like. He was always asking questions to Rufus when he was in the house and he came over like he was Dan's best friend all the time. It was strange and Dan wasn't sure he trusted or liked it. Scott snuck up behind Vanessa and wrapped his arms around her and he saw her tense up. It was obvious to him that Vanessa herself wasn't crazy about him. She didn't melt into him like she had in the past with Nate, she didn't have her unmistakable smile either.
"Did you tell Dan your news?"
He watched Vanessa shutter as Scott said it and kissed her cheek, a smile across his face. She wasn't smiling and she wasn't happy about whatever it was. There she went hiding secrets from him again. But her hazel eyes looked up and Dan saw a range of emotions that included what he knew all too well to be regret. They showed sadness too and it didn't take him more than thirty seconds to figure it out. They were best friends and knew each other almost too well it seemed.
"Can I talk to you for a second? Alone?"
Scott looked at them both trying to figure out what exactly was going on as Vanessa nodded her head. Excusing himself to Jenny and Rufus he reached for Vanessa to lead her back outside where they could get some air and talk without Scott interfering. He put his hand on her shoulders and wound her through the crowd of people being sure to hold extra tight as they passed Anne. She noticed it too as she turned her head enough to glance him a quick thank you. He wasn't about to watch her get pushed around when it was the last thing she deserved. She'd been stupid but the mistakes were already made.
Outside it was sunny and beautiful, the perfect warm New York morning with just the slightest breeze. He released Vanessa as she walked to lean her back against the cold stone of the building. Dan knew her every action of regret without her even opening her mouth to say a word of it.
"I don't know what I'm doing"
She whispered and her eyes showed her honesty in the sentence. Dan nodded his head, he could tell that. his best friend was falling apart at the seams and there was hardly anything he could do to fix it or make it any better anymore. he did know there was one thing that he had to do. He needed to be there for her, to tell her it was all going to be alright even if he didn't see how it would be. He didn't say anymore as he just pulled her into a hug tightly. Even if things were bad and messy they'd been friends since the age of six, he wasn't about to turn his back on her now. He just held her tightly wishing that he could have fixed it all from coming down around her. Even if he couldn't the lest thing he could do was to be there for her. They'd gotten through everything else without anyone else there in the middle. This was just one more thing that they'd have to take care of. He'd watch out for her, where Scott gloated Dan knew better. Vanessa's heart wasn't into what she was doing. By what Anne had done Dan knew Vanessa was only doing it because it was what she thought the right thing to do was. No matter how disappointed in her he was he wasn't going to be the one to sit around and tell her what to do. She was the only one who could make the decision for herself, no jackass boyfriend or psycho mother could make it for her.
The sound of a door shutting made them both turn around and look at the black limo that had pulled up. Out stepped two people that two years ago he'd never of gotten along with. Now one of them he was iffy about being friends with and the other he could tolerate. It was strange how far life could come and go when time passed. He watched Vanessa take a fast swipe to clear her eyes as the two boys started to come closer. Not that Dan had noticed it but he'd put himself in front of Vanessa and was looking at them both.
"Humphrey"
Chuck addressed with a nod to both him and Vanessa before passing through the gate. It was the other one that Dan took note of, his visibly torn face. he knew what it was, soon as he looked between Nate and Vanessa he knew they were both saying the same thing in their heads but not outside. Both hiding what they wanted to do and what was really in front of them.
"Dan"
With a nearly friendly smile Dan took a step back but not too far away so that if she needed him he could have still stepped in at any second. He wasn't going to leave her unless she told him to go and that she was fine. But, her eyes didn't do that. He could tell she silently wanted him to be there, so that she could use him as her anchor of strength, strength that she couldn't pull from Nate. Either one of them had it in them.
"Are you ok?"
He heard Nate say as he leaned in closer to Vanessa, his hands on her hips. How they both couldn't see it Dan didn't know, because even to Dan it was plain evident. The thought and agony of having an abortion tore them both apart, how were they going to go through with it or live with it after Dan couldn't see. They were more in love then they'd admit.
Even if what she really needed was his hand to squeeze for comfort he wasn't sure if he could do it. Much as he'd said he was on board with the whole thing the truth was Nate wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle it once it was done and over. He wasn't sure he'd be able to look at her with the same careful loving eyes. Nate was afraid, afraid that once it was over the sinking feeling that he felt would be worse than it was. He didn't think they were doing the right thing, if they were doing the right thing why did it feel so completely wrong? The sterile white walls around him didn't seem clean enough; the doctor seemed to cold, the instruments to scary. This wasn't any bit of what he'd wanted. Her body meant her choice, her mind was made up, and she'd been the one that made the decision on it. It was what she wanted, to not be pregnant anymore. none of it was fair to him, he'd known for three days and already measures were being taken so that it was all just a bad dream. That's not what he wanted, it wasn't a dream, it was a really thing. The abortion seemed like it was so forced, like it was just a quick way out. It all seemed so simple when it was just words. So simple when he didn't really want think about all that it really was. How was he to deal with it when he hardly even had a say in it.
It was her body, he needed to keep reminding himself that. It all felt so unreal, the fact that she was carrying an actual baby inside of her, a baby that was part of the both of them. A baby that had the potential to actually call him daddy and her mommy, their baby, there was so much more hanging in the balance then what she was looking at. They had a shot to not be their parents hanging over their heads and they were just going to give it up like it was nothing at all. His own little family lay on the metal table in front of him so close yet it felt so far away. Every time he touched her stomach he felt like a child that had touched the hot stove. He knew it was his mind's way of telling him that he needed to back off and not get so attached to something that wouldn't be there. Almost as fast as the procedure would start it would be over and there would be nothing left.
He couldn't think of it as not being her choice, she was the one that was voluntarily getting rid of it. Nate cringed at the thought. Did it really mean that they didn't mean anything to one another? This was all just a real mistake that shouldn't have taken place. He had a hard time believing it, how could she not feel what he felt, it was growing inside of her. Had he really screwed up on her that much that she could take it out on an innocent baby. His mind couldn't help but wonder if it was because she was truly falling in love with Scott, that Scott took care of her better than he did. He felt a surge of anger through his veins. Calm, he needed to stay calm. None of it was out of resentment he needed to keep telling himself. It was just what she had figured was best and maybe in a few ways she was right. She didn't have to worry this way.
The snap of the surgical gloves, the squeezing of the gel out of the tube, Vanessa's small noise at the cold… it all seemed to be in such slow motion. The doctor said nothing and Vanessa bit on her lip. From where he stood in the corner of the room he could silently see it all. He hated being a fly on the wall but he'd promised he wouldn't leave her and he knew he couldn't touch her. If he touched her he would have tried to get her to talk about it again, to reconsider her actions. Nate had asked her enough, put enough pressure on her why would he of wanted to add anymore to his own conscious, he'd done all he could do.
"Using the ultra sound I'm going to track out exactly where the fetus is, as soon as I locate it you'll be able to hear it."
At the doctor's words Nate looked up again, not looking at Vanessa but looking at the doctor's hands as he held onto the instrument and glided around Vanessa's small stomach. It felt surreal to be in the position he was in, to be watching and waiting for a small image to appear on the screen. Something he hadn't expected to be doing till he was at least twenty-seven. Something he'd expected to clutching the hand of his wife for, not sitting across the room from his ex girlfriend as he wanted nothing more than to be sitting beside her telling her everything was going to be alright. But he couldn't do it. Not if the bay wasn't going to be there in a matter of minutes.
'woosh, woosh, woosh' there was a sound that made him look up and right away without a question he saw it. There was a clear image of a baby in all the black and white. Nate could even make out the little thing sucking its thumb; it made it all so much more real. There actually was a baby inside of her, a really baby sucking on their real little thumb. Every bit of it didn't feel like it was actually happening. Something that sounded almost like a sob made him turn his head to see what it was, Vanessa's head was turned away from the machine and himself, he didn't think there was any way that it could have been her. If it was her she wouldn't have able to go through with it, how could she have gone through with it if she was actually looking at what was inside of her. What they'd created, what they'd done.
"Measuring just about three inches long, normal, it looks rather healthy. Baby's a little lethargic, looks to me like you would have had one calm lazy baby, most of the ultra sounds I've done at thirteen weeks the baby's moving all over the place. Anyway the whole procedure should only take about five minutes then I'll give you a prescription for pain meds and it'll all be over. Your period should resume in 4 to 8 weeks, and today you should only have some mild cramping."
Turning his head just to peek at her reaction her back was still to him but he could see her shaking. She was visibly convulsing in silent sobs as he watched her to confused and lost to move. He'd thought the abortion was what she'd wanted, she'd been the one to say it. She'd told him there was no other option and the abortion was the only thing they could do. He could tell just by the way everything was tearing her apart now that it had to have been just for the benefit of saying the words. She'd been trying to give him an out by saying she didn't want it. As guilty as part of him felt for thinking it he'd never felt so relieved seeing her cry. It all meant he wouldn't have to push aside any of the feelings he'd felt. Nothing would have to change, it would be hard, it would be different, but they'd be alright.
Standing there dumbfounded he couldn't move for a few moments, she was laying on the cold medal table her eyes full of water that fell down her cheeks and he still hadn't moved. Sometimes Nate's brain didn't work quite as fast as it should have. The doctor had turned back around to prepare things for the procedure and Vanessa had finally turned over. In the second that their eyes met they saw everything that was going on. Everything that they didn't want to feel or see at times, it was evident in the way their eyes were looking right into one another. He could see the hazel eyes burning into him, begging and pleading with him to not let her make perhaps what would have been the biggest mistake of both of their lives. His frozen joints seemed to unlock right away as he didn't hesitate to rush forward and pull her close to him. She didn't hesitate, she just held onto him curling into a semi ball against his chest as Nate shook his head to the doctor letting him know the procedure was off.
"I can't… I can't pretend it doesn't matter"
Straining her voice through hiccupped sobs he tried to sooth her kissing the top of her head and holding onto her tightly, both arms wrapped around her. All his mind kept repeating was that his baby was safe, they were ok. Things might not have been ideal but he'd work as hard as he could to prove to her that they'd be able to do it, they weren't their parents. Putting the child's needs in front of their lives already proved that they weren't their parents, at least, they weren't his parents.
"We're going to be ok Vanessa, I told you that. That little heart is being because of us, it's ours Vanessa. Something no one can take away from us. We're going to be ok, and so is our baby… baby V, our baby"
Her breathing and crying was only beginning to lessen as she listened to his words. Anne wasn't going to be pleased with her son and she'd hate Vanessa just that much more than before but Vanessa couldn't have cared less. Once the heart beat had filled her ears and the image of the small thing sucking it's thumb made everything more really then it felt before there wasn't any terminating it. She was pregnant and that was the way she was going to stay until the baby was fully developed and healthy. There wasn't a single way she could have put an end to it.
Cupping her face in his hands he put his forehead against hers as she lessoned her tears more knowing that she was safe, they both were. Her hands that had been clinging to her stomach were covered over by his, all four of their hands were planted on her stomach. Regardless of how iffy and unsure the emotions were that both of them felt they knew that there wasn't a way either of them would have been able to live with themselves. She felt his lips on her forehead next and she closed her eyes enjoying the feeling.
"I love you Vanessa, and I know that you don't believe that right now, and I know you don't trust me. With all rights you don't trust me. I haven't been here and I haven't done what I should have been doing all along, which is taking care of you. But I do Vanessa, I love you and I love this baby and I'm going to prove it to the both of you."
She noticed he didn't sound like his normally confused self as he spoke, he sounded like he actually meant every word, as honest as the night on the café floor a year ago telling her that there was something more than them just hooking up on a first unofficial date. There'd been moments she'd been iffy about that one, but, as he leaned against her forehead and his hands rested on her stomach she knew he'd been telling the truth. This wasn't just something to brush off anymore, they weren't the only ones involved anymore. it was going to take time, patients, work, but they'd do it.
Francesca – last chapter I think was my favorite yet too, there's more like that coming up… perhaps ;) as for YOB it's got 2000 words to it so far! I'm working at it
Izzy! – Ellie's a little trouble maker isn't she? Hmm let's see, can I think of a way to make her even more adorable? Perhaps.
I know, it's such a change from YOB, it sorta makes me sad. Hm, maybe it explains where Nate gets his personality syndrome from though.
:D I didn't even notice how much I liked that line when I wrote it, it wasn't till you pointed it out!
Scott! He just frustrates me more and more. I wanted to like him too. I had every intention on liking him. But Nate takes the cake every time. Damn Natie, what am I going to do with you? :P
Christinamarie712 – Anne is frustrating, as you can tell she gets even worse then just telling Vanessa what to… (oh! Hmmm the thought I just got could be quite useful) ok, I'll just keep that one to myself. Elle is watching out with her fishy! As you can tell the child is obsessed with Nemo and fishy's there for poor baby is always going to be screwed into being Nate and Vanessa's fishy.
Jen – Chuck doesn't want to admit it but he likes feeling needed and he likes to take care of Vanessa. he's going to be uncle chuck after all… well possibly. Yay! Nate can get the same brainwaves as a nearly five year old! I think he deserves a cupcake now… don't you? :P lol Anne and Grandfather, ugh, so horrible. Just plain bad people.
Layla Persnickety – heehee :D please, tell me who the other option was. I'm betting it was Chuck. Though I have to admit, it never crossed my mind to have Chuck tell him. O.o it probably should have.
Pagan-Angel13 – first off, have I ever mentioned that I love comments like this?
Last chapter was honestly my easiest to write and I was hoping that it would live up to what it should have. I'm very excited to know that it actually did. I'm very proud of it I have to say :D
Wow, I wish I'd thought of that. I didn't even think of Chuck walking in before. This chapter here I wanted so way for Chuck to see what was going on but it didn't work out. Perhaps I'll keep that one in mind, thank you so much! Anne's thinking of herself as she always does, she doesn't care what he'll think she just cares what she wants and an upper east side scandal is not it. Being grandmother is something she doesn't care for either. But she knows that she's on a thin line with grandfather as it is, one more straw would be the end.
what better way for Nate to understand then for someone who thinks at his level to tell him? No, I'm not giving Ellie enough credit there. Kidding, I love Nate he just annoys me at times. I'm so glad that Ellie's innocence about it all came across yet so did the harshness of abortion in Nate's ears but not in her own. Lol sorry, I'm a little excited about that one as you can tell. :P
Vanessa's a very independent person, she doesn't like to be told what to do and she's not crazy about Anne. She's had weeks to think about and to be with her pregnancy, it's not something she hasn't grown attached to. even here she's trying to sacrifice her own happiness and feelings for what she thinks is right for everyone else. Talk about someone who doesn't know how to make herself happy…
Empathy is my strong suit I'm starting to believe. Now I need to work on something else. lol
Nate loves Vanessa, he's just… Nate. He's royally screwed up much more times than the average person has. he's got a lot to make up for, and that's one thing Nate always seems to faulter at no matter how much he loves the people involved.
heehee, Ruby's going to be a fun one, that's part of my next issues to get working on.
hope you liked this chapter too!
Alex! - Yay! I was hoping it would. I hope reading them doesn't distract you too much or I'm going to have to start spacing them out a little bit :P kidding. I don't think I could do that to myself. It would drive me a little to insane.
Yayyyy!! I'm so hald that I did him the justice that the writers don't do for him now. they really need to show that Nate has more to him than just a pretty face because right now he looks like just a plain pretty face and we all know that Fitz knows he's more than just that. he's still got some redeeming to go and of course his confusion will always stay. Of course he needed V at the funeral. He can't breathe unless she's there, even if she's mad at him she goes for his needs. See, there's good mommy V ;) she knows how to take care of people why not her fishy?
Chuck… goodness I love Chuck now. perhaps more then I should of course. I'm trying to work out another Chuck part in my head. Because I just had a brainstorm that I think might be needed… hmmm we'll see ;)
see, as you can tell from this chapter Anne just gets worse and worse. Poor Vanessa has to deal with her all on her own too because she refuses to tell Nate about any of it. Something tells me that Nate wouldn't be to happy with her for even considering to go along with Anne's demands. Hmmm we'll see.
GG's N has all the potential to think about it and to act like that. J&S don't give him enough credit for the things he does. Noelle on the other hand only wants to look out for her fishy, she's excited about the fishy. :D poor V's never going to hear the end of it.
NV still have a long way to go and Scott's still in the way. Thank you so much for your help with you know what and I forgot to tell you this morning, I might have changed it again. I'm not sure I still have a while to decide yet. Going to need your opinion on it of course. But you already knew that. :P
