Author's note: Well, the name sort of implies it, right? I wrote this little shit to tease about future events, and at the same time prove that yes, I am still alive. I had the finals at College and got a job. Not much to say except besides a thank you to the guy I co-wrote this with, Dravis. (Re edits by Sheridan.)

RECORDING START

"This is… psychiatric evaluation of prisoner 26235, Lauren Jon-"

"Can we skip the presentations, hun? I want to get to the meat of this little charade."

(Someone takes a deep breath)

"No. We cannot. Psychiatric evaluation of inmate… emm… (documents shuffling) 26235, Lauren Jones, Death Row gallery, cell 4, after the incident in the showers last week. Inmate just released from solitary confinement."

"I really don't get what you're trying to achieve with this.. Like, it's sort of obvious why I uh… you know..."

"Raped another in-"

(Drops in) "Rape is a naughty word. I prefer 'Love without permission'. Or 'Sodomized'. Yeah, 'Sodomized' is juuuust fine."

(He snickers) "Give me a break, miss valley girl. We don't go softer on repeat offenders - believe it or not, you're no guest here."

"Oh, really now? That's some fucking news, ain't it? But hey, let's make the mass murderin' nutjob visit the shrink once more, maybe we'll find she's just misunderstood or traumatized because good old mother superior shoved a ruler up her ass for misbehavin' a whoOole lot when nobody was looking back in the Orphanage because that's what the Bible says, am I right? Hell, I think it'll make the headlines! 'Anti-Christ demon child exorcized by miracle psychiatrist voodoo!' Then we can go full Ron Jeremy in his primetime , the two of us get to know each other better or ideally, we… ahh... Fuck each other's brains out and come out shining in cum and sin! How's that for a script, huh?!"

"Lauren… Look where a decade of pervasive chronic masturbation's gotten you... I don't think this is really the time to joke. What did she do to deserve what you did to her?"

"Like you honestly care, shit-for-brains."

"If you don't tell me why you did it, you will end up another 2 weeks of eating meat paste with salt in a padded cell. I think that is something you do care about.

"Alright…"

(She takes a deep breath)

"Because I felt like it."

(She loudly laughs)

"Truly hilarious, Lauren. Was the pun sending her into a coma?"

"Yeah, used her and threw her away, like a candy wrapper."

"Lauren, you're not fooling anybody. Maybe that flies with the other inmates, but I know you're actually scared, sad and alone, so drop the mask and tell me already why you did that, alright?."

(Mocking tone) "Ooooo~ I am so scared! I just want somebody to love me! I'm gonna magically become a productive member of society if somebody just gives me a hug!"

"I'm sure you would react in quite the way if you saw your ex-partner. You have to wonder if it was worth not snitching for the guy that is probably dead or completely forgot about-"

(Chains rustling and loud grunting noises)

"Did I hit a nerve there, Lauren?"

"Fuck you."

"All of your accomplices, or at least the ones you didn't kill, are living nice, calm lives while you're here, stuck in prison. What a shame, ain't it?"

"Keep touching that subject, James, I fucking dare you."

"Do you really think I am afraid of you, Lauren?"

"You really should. I haven't had a good fuck in years. And I mean an actual fuck, not that little pussy-rubbing I'm here for. But here you come, tempting me just like that stupid fucking bitch!"

"Is that why you did what you did to that inmate, Lauren? She 'tempted' you?"

"..."

"You're just sexually frustra-"

"Alright, time for ME to ask YOU a question. Have you heard this urban myth about the guy in the mental institute? He was having quite the talk with a cocky doctor, just like you, James, and the bitch went and poked where she didn't need to poke. Now mind you, the guy was chained to the wall, but he didn't care, he ripped right through that and choked the living shit outta her.

Now, the thing is, they supposedly reinforced the chains by the time the next doctor arrived and gave him another session, but in reality, they just told them both they did that. So when the second bitch went and asked the same question, wanna know what he did? I think you do. But I ain't some super macho, and you're too much of a fucking pussy to come near me, so… (bone cracking)

"Wh-what the FUCK are you doing?!"

"Ye Olde Thumb dislocation trick, baby!" (Bone cracking)

"Lauren, stop! Don't you make me call security!"

"Oh, PLEASE, call them, that way, we can get the orgy started! Just let me get my thumbs back in place! (More bone cracking)

"Oh God…"

"Much better. Get your pants off."

"I'm not going to-"

"Get them off."

(Something loudly falls to the floor, followed by a violent struggle)

"Security! SECURITY! SOMEONE HEL-"

[RECORDING: END]