Chapter 11

The quiet babbling pond with little birds flying about to and fro, singing merrily and completely content in their idyllic woodland was almost more than Han could bear. He knew this peace and quiet, serenity had its place, but it was a place he wasn't ready for yet. He expelled a long breath and tried to mediate once again, the very action at war with his over active mind. He was trying to learn calm because he was told it was the best way to achieve what was needed with the force, if he could learn calm, how to master his emotions, he would have a better chance of reaching into Ben's mind undetected, and once he did that he would begin to put his insidious plot into effect.

No son of his was going to be the dark Sith ruler of the galaxy!

He opened one eye and peered at Anakin who sat across from him, patiently watching. No offense.

None taken, the former Sith Lord replied, not quite hiding the amusement in his eyes watching his unorthodox student continue his lessons.

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When Han materialized next to Leia's bed, he found she was asleep, Rey sitting by her bedside.

"Hi," Rey said shyly to the shimmering form she saw before her.

"Hi Rey," Han said softly, offering her a quiet smile. "How is she?"

"Better. Kind of. She doesn't seem suicidal anymore, but she's still depressed."

"Thank you for being here. I think you saved her."

The young woman looked at the figure and Han, hardly believing she was talking to his ghost again. "I did very little."

"You were here for her in a way that I can't be." He smiled.

"No problem."

"And, how are you?" Han asked Rey and his ghostly hand brushed against Leia's.

"All right all things considered."

"It's a lot to take in."

She nodded.

"I'm sorry, Rey. You deserved better."

The young woman studied the apparition of the man she admired, and nodded. "You would have been a great Dad."

Han snorted, and gave a harsh laugh. "Yeah, if that were true Ben would be here and…"

and I'd be alive, was the unspoken thought.

Kylo is responsible for his own actions, they are not yours. You and the General, Leia are not responsible for what he has done.

Funny, but it doesn't feel that way. Han turned to regard his sleeping wife, and Rey saw how his face softened. Hardened mercenary indeed!

I heard that, Han reminded her with a touch of humor in his response.

Good. I'll leave you with her. She hesitated.

What? He glanced at her.

Can we talk later?

Sure, it's not like I don't have time. He raised his sad hazel eyes before returning his gaze to Leia.

Then I'll leave her to you. Call me when you need me, she turned and exited out the nearby door.

Han stared after her for a few seconds before turning his attention back to Leia. Her breathing was regular, and she was off the supporting tubes and medical devices that had been attached to her only a day ago, but she was pale and even in her sleep she looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She moved restlessly in the bed, murmuring things Han couldn't quite understand. Suddenly she twitched as if she were hit by blaster fire, froze, and after a few moments shuddered. Her voice became clearer and more frantic.

"No! No, no! Not him! Not Han! No!"

Han watched in horror as he was starting to catch waves of emotion and grief from her and could only imagine what she might be going through; he could easily think of three instances where he had unwillingly disappeared from her sight; two of those he could have died and the last time he did.

"Leia," he murmured, but she couldn't hear him. He snapped his fingers as an idea came to him.

Closing his eyes, he concentrated on finding her dream. The path was a bit rocky but he did find it, it was full of dark, foreboding images, emotions of rage, despair and grief dominated the atmosphere. No wonder Leia was having nightmares. He came around a corner and stopped in his tracks. What he saw before him were his final moments on earth.

He looked over to Leia who stood at the edge of the drama, she had fallen to her knees, stricken by the scene before her. The one that was playing over again as it seemed to be stuck in an endless loop in Leia's head.

He cursed under his breath at his own stupidity, he should have known she would live this with him.

She was still on her knees, her body shaking with grief, he had to find some way to get her out of this loop.

"Leia," he called to her, but she didn't respond. He went over to stand in front of her but she didn't acknowledge him. Finally, cautiously because he really didn't know how this would work in a dream state shared by the two of them, he put his hands on her shoulders, and gently squeezed. It was several long moments, but she blinked as if coming out of a fog and stared into his face with a blank expression.

"Leia?"

"Han?" She regarded him in disbelief. "But you're…dead."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed.

"Then I'm dreaming about you?" She seemed confused.

"Yes, umm, no. This is hard to explain." He ran an exasperated hand through his hair. "You are dreaming. You were having a nightmare, and I entered your dream and see if I could help." He fidgeted. "I hope it's all right."

Silently she reached out her hand and laid it on his cheek. "You are here."

"Yup, in the flesh." A second too late he realized his poor phrasing and stammered as he tried to correct it. "That is…I mean…"

She ignored him and gazed into his eyes in wonder. "I thought I had lost you," she allowed her gaze to wander over to the painful tableau that continued to play within her mind, but now overshadowed by seeing Han again.

"Umm, Leia, this is kind of hard to explain to your dream self, but you have and you haven't."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that what you see, the ugliness over there, really did happen," he said gently.

"No," she began to whimper.

He reached out and took her hands in his squeezing them reassuringly. "But despite that I am still around for you."

"I don't understand, how?"

"When you wake up you'll remember, and I hope you'll realize I'm still here for you."

"You're a force ghost?" She stared at him in amazement.

"Yeah, somehow, that's what I've become." He shrugged. "Who knew I had it in me?"

She chuckled quietly. "So I'm dreaming?"

"Yeah, honey, you are. And I want you to make that nastiness go away, stop reliving it. It's over and there's nothing you can do." He said in a firm voice. "Can you do that for me?"

"Yes," she said in a small voice.

Han watched as the ugly scene faded into nothingness. He let out a sigh of relief.

"But there is something else I'd rather dream about," she said and walked into his arms, pulling herself tight against him.

He didn't know, but he felt her, snuggled next to him as they always did when they held each other. It was a familiar and comforting feeling, and Han didn't ever want to let her go. She must have felt the same way because they stood there together for a very long time.

"I want to stay her forever," she murmured. "It's the only place I've ever really felt safe, was in your arms."

"You never told me that."

"No?" She drew back to look at him. "Well, I should have. Don't you get it, nerfherder? You are the only one that can complete my world, the only one who ever has."

They snuggled for another long while until Leia drew back and regarded him again. "What else can you do in this dreamscape?"

"I don't know, this is the first time I've been in someone's dreams."

"Let me try," Leia said and smiled, really smiled at him and his heart melted right within his chest. "Close your eyes and let me lead you."

"All right," he agreed.

"Now open them," Leia instructed.

He did and saw they were now in a posh bedroom, blue pastel colored curtains pulled away from the windows as the sunlight was streaming in, they were several stories up, and it was the best hotel on of Corellia memory kicked in and he remembered this was the suite they had stayed in on their belated honeymoon.

"Leia, what?" He turned to see her and she was wearing the same thing she had worn that day, a next to nothing dark blue laced panties and bra. He took an involuntary breath at her sheer beauty. She sauntered over to him, much the same way she had that day. Han looked into her face, and then down at her hands and realized in the dream they had become the people and ages they were on that day. The day when they had made love pressed up against the glass door to the balcony for all of the world to see.

"Leia," he breathed as she stopped inches away from him.

"Han? Do you think we can…here? Do you think we can be together?" Her hand was tenderly running over his chest, fascinated.

"I honestly don't know, Leia."

"Maybe we could find out…I mean …if you're willing…" her hand ghosted the front of his pants and he no longer knew what the hell he was feeling, or what the hell he should do.

"Leia, I don't think this is a good idea…"

"Han, it's a dream. Why not?" Her hands were running over his chest and he was remembering so many times she had done that, remembering just how passionate she had been. How it had been two days before they had even left the suite to venture out into the city.

And why the hell not? Somehow, it didn't seem right, but he couldn't quite define why.

"Leia, I'm sorry," he said and stepped away from her. "I need more time to get used to this, time to get used to being in a dream with you."

"I suppose you have a point. But will you work on this?" She gave him a hopeful look.

"Sweetheart, if it will help you get better, of course I will."

They stared at each other for a long moment.

"You need to wake up now and see that I'm still by your side."

"Promise?"

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead and drew her to him for a tight embrace. "I promise. I will stay with you as long as you need me."

She nodded and released him, and he disappeared from her dream.

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When she woke up a few minutes later, she blinked at the bright lights and shielded her eyes with her hand. At least her headache was gone, and her throat wasn't nearly as dry so that was an improvement. Her thoughts were fuzzy but after a moment she remembered her dream in startling clarity. Han had come to her and convinced her to stop reliving his death, and she had felt his protective arms around her keeping her safe.

She abruptly sat up only to see an amused ghost watching her from her bedside.

"Hey, Sweetheart. Looking for someone?"

"You're here.""

"I told you I would be, and I don't break my promises to you."

"You never have." She paused, her eyes gazing softly at him. "I miss you so much."

"I know, but you have to stop grieving. Will you do that for me? Please?"

They exchanged a long look filled with emotion, and she finally nodded.

"I'll try."

"That's all I can ask."

"But only if you stick around."

"Your Worship, I still have things to do. I'm not going anywhere."

"Then I'll try." Leia agreed with solemn eyes, and his transparent hand resting on hers, he breathed a sigh of relief.