Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

Chapter 11

Wayne Rigsby had made it home to his apartment in a daze, he wasn't sure how he had survived the drive, in an almost trance-like state he had walked up the stairs, opened the door and found himself standing in the bathroom staring at himself in the mirror.

He looked like the victim, the pained look on his face and the blood all over his white shirt, spots spattered on his face and trousers, his hands bloody from carrying Lisbon to the ambulance.

He didn't look like the carefree man that he was, he looked like a man that had just gone through hell and although physically he was fine, mentally he was very unstable.

He had fallen in love with a serial killer, the serial killer who had destroyed Jane's life, Jane, a man he considered to be one of his best friends. The woman he had fallen in love with had tried to murder Jane and Lisbon, his best friends. He didn't want to believe it, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was true.

As he dragged himself to his bedroom he felt the familiar pain in his chest shoot through him as he looked at the abandoned pyjamas Grace had left lying on the bed from the night before, he had shared a bed with a serial killer, he had slept with a serial killer.

Grabbing some fresh cloths and heading for the shower he began to wonder why he hadn't noticed that she was hiding something sooner. As he let the hot water pour over him he remembered when she had said her sister had killed herself and when he asked her about it she had said she didn't have a sister, but she had been lying and he knew it.

Pulling himself out of his self-pitying daze he remembered that when they had found Jane he was bleeding to death and Lisbon was bashed up bad too. Angry at himself for only caring about his emotional pain when two of the people he loved most were in a lot of physical pain he got out of the shower, dressed and got in his car, destination; hospital.

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Kimball Cho walked into his apartment for the second time in a week, he hadn't been home for the first few days, he had spent every minute trying to find Jane and Lisbon, but when he hit the point of complete exhaustion he had gone home, for one night and apologised to his girlfriend before heading back into the CBI.

She understood, he knew that she understood, his two best friends were missing, she didn't expect him to sit at home and eat meals as normal when his life had been blown out of proportion so much.

Elise had been watching the news and her anxiety was building when Kimball hadn't come home yet. The reporter had announced that the two California Agents who went missing had been found and were in hospital, one in a critical condition.

She had been relieved that they were alive, but worried for them too, she had met the team and they seemed to be genuinely nice people. The reporter had then said that the serial killer "Red John" had been the kidnapper and had been arrested.

Elise had just begun to process this news when the door opened, standing up she hurried to the hall and halted immediately when she saw Kimball there, his black trousers, white shirt and hands were soaked with blood.

He saw the look of fear on her face and said, "It's okay, the blood isn't mine, Jane and Lisbon were in a bad way when we found them."

She breathed a sigh of relief, wanting to hug him so badly, but he was covered in blood, "Are they going to be okay?" She asked, genuinely concerned.

Cho nodded, "Lisbons broken a leg and Janes lost a lot of blood, but he'll pull through." He was saying this to reassure his girlfriend, but Elise could see the uncertainty in his gaze.

"I'm going to shower and go to the hospital." He told her and she nodded, she understood that although he had just come home he couldn't stay, they were a team and they stuck together, "I'll come too." She said, smiling gently at him.

He smiled back, he would never admit it but he was relieved that she would accompany him; it would keep the nerves at bay while they waited for the news of their friends. Although Elise had only met Jane and Lisbon a couple of times she liked them and he could tell, she and Lisbon had clicked immediately having similar taste in movies and books.

He made his way to the bathroom, eager to get rid of the smell of blood and with a sigh let his mind wander to Van Pelt. He was shocked to begin with that she could do such a thing, she always seemed so innocent, but the more he thought about it the more things clicked into place.

Her relationship with Rigsby hadn't been because she cared about him, it had been a rouse to make sure Jane wouldn't suspect her, her friendship with Rebecca hadn't been a friendship, she had just used her as a pawn, she was disposable. She had joined the CBI team to look as if she was fighting Red John, but she had only done that to make her job easier. She had slipped the poison to Rebecca, she had used Rebecca to kill Bosco and she had nearly succeeded in killing Jane.

He dressed and made his way into the living room, where Elise already had her coat on, waiting for him. She reached out and took his hand, the feel of her touch relaxing his nerves just a little as they made their way to the car, she hated it when he drove fast, but he had a feeling that she would let him break the speed limit tonight, just this once.

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It was funny the way it happened, they had left around the same time and their apartments were equally as far away from the hospital, but when Rigsby arrived Cho and Elise were just about to walk through the doors.

He hurried over to them, with a small nod to Cho and a weak smile to Elise, she smiled back, she had a way of comforting people with a smile, it was part of the reason he got on so well with her.

"Will they let us in straight away if we're not family?" Elise asked Cho as they approached the nurse's desk.

Turning to Rigsby in determination he nodded, "Don't worry they'll let us in." Not sure what he meant Elise frowned as the nurse smiled up at them, "What can I do for you?"

"We need to see Patrick Jane and Teresa Lisbon." The nurse told them to wait a moment and typed something up on her computer, "Teresa Lisbon is currently in surgery and Patrick Jane is in the intensive care unit." She told them.

"Are you family?" She asked.

Cho said, "No, but we're their team." He held up his badge, "CBI."

The woman looked torn, but upon seeing the looks on the faces of the people on the other side of the desk she sighed, "You can't see them yet, but you can wait in the waiting area for the ICU." She told them, "Its on the 4th floor."

"Thank you." Rigsby genuinely told the nurse as the team made their way for the elevator.

When they got in and the doors closed Elise felt it was safe to ask, since it was only the 3 of them, "On the news it said that they caught Red John." It was a statement, but Cho recognised the question behind it.

Before he could answer however Rigsby had for him, his voice thick with emotion, "Red John was Grace Van Pelt, the redhead on our team."

Elise looked from Rigsby to Cho, as if asking him if it was true, Cho gave her a small nod and she shook her head in disbelief, "I met her, I went to yoga with her and Teresa a few times." She said, "I never would have believed that she was capable of something like this."

"Neither did I." Rigsby said softly and before anyone could contemplate anymore on the issue the elevator doors pinged open and they found themselves in a large waiting room marked "ICU Waiting Area."

Sitting down on the hard plastic chairs, Cho and Rigsby looked at each other, both asking a silent question. Cho glanced at Elise and Rigsby could tell she was a little shaken up by the situation. Understanding that he needed to be there for his girlfriend Rigsby said, "I'll make the calls."

Cho gave him a weak smile of thanks and put his arm around Elise. Rigsby walked across to the quiet side of the room to call the necessary people. After 10 minutes of phone calls, one to Hightower to inform her of exactly what had gone down. 3 to Lisbons brothers to inform them she was in hospital, as was CBI protocol and one to Graces only living relative, her cousin to tell him that she had been arrested.

Sighing he returned to the side of the waiting area where Cho sat with Elise and sat down beside them to wait for the verdict on the irritable consultant that meant so much to them all.

They weren't sure how long it had been, the silence of the room made it seem much longer, but it seemed to be around half an hour later when Jessica hurried into the room.

Her eyes sought out the team and at once she hurried over, sitting herself down next to Elise who was frowning at her, in deep confusion.

"Is she going to be alright? They say that I can't see her yet." She asked Rigsby, whom she seemed to have bonded with the best.

Rigsby sighed, "I'm not sure, when we found her we could tell her leg was broken and she had been shot in the stomach."

Jessica looked close to tears and Rigsby moved from his spot next to Cho to sit next to her, "Hey, she's strong, look at what she's pulled through before, she'll make it." He said with a reassuring squeeze of her hand.

"And Patrick Jane?" She asked, glancing at the white doors that led into the ICU unit.

"He's strong too." Rigsby told her with a small smile, one that really did reach his eyes this time, he knew they would both pull through this, they had too.

For the first time Jessica noticed Elise, too overwhelmed with her anxiety to properly take in the scene when she had first hurried into the room, "Oh sorry for not introducing myself, Jessica Lisbon."

Elise smiled, the situation becoming clear to her now, Lisbon had a twin sister, "I'm Elise Chaye, Kimball's girlfriend." She said, noticing Jessica was wondering why she was at the hospital.

"Nice to meet you." She said nicely and Elise, being rather nosy felt she had to ask, "Sorry for being intrusive, but your British and Teresa is American."

Jessica nodded and with a smile she said, "Yes, I haven't seen her since I was 7 years old, I live in England, but I think I might stay here for a while so I can spend some time with Teresa."

"Really? You're planning to stay?" Rigsby asked, Cho tried not to smirk, he had a thing for Lisbons twin sister, this was hilarious.

"For a little while, maybe even permanently, California seems pretty nice." She said, turning away from Elise and smiling at Rigsby.

"We haven't really introduced ourselves properly yet, Kimball Cho and Wayne Rigsby and California is a great place to live, have you ever been to San Francisco?"

She smiled in turn at Cho and then Rigsby when they were fully introduced before answering, "No, I've not been to the USA since I was 7 and I don't remember much." She told him honestly.

"Well I could take you sometime and show you around." He suggested, hiding the nerves in his voice, he still wasn't over Grace, he had loved her and was in great shock and felt betrayed at what had happened, but he wanted to get to know Jessica.

She smiled, "When Teresa gets out of here and things calm down I would love too." She said and he smiled back, "Great."

Cho smiled at Elise who was trying hard not to smile herself, he was about to make a remark when the white doors flew open once more and 3 anxious brown haired, green eyed men hurried into the room.

Jessica's eyes widened and the 3 men of varying ages stared at her in shock.

"I thought you said she was injured?" The youngest, Tommy, shot at Rigsby.

"Uh, she is." Rigsby said and Jessica stepped in, "My name is Jessica Lisbon, Teresa is my twin sister."

Tommy's eyes widened, he was 8 years younger than Teresa and had never known Jessica. Jack who had been 4 when 7 year old Jessica had supposedly died frowned, "I thought you were dead."

The oldest of the 3, Daniel, who had been 6 when the girls had vanished and was a year younger than Teresa said, "You were, you and Teresa both got captured, but you never came back."

She sighed, "I know, but as you can tell from the British accent I've been away for quite some time. I got shipped to England for my own safety."

The 3 brothers looked at her for a few seconds and then they looked at each other, identical grins spread across their faces they all grabbed her and pulled her into a bear hug. Rigsby turned to Cho and Elise; they all had smiles on their faces. In this time of worry and pain it was nice to see happiness as the boys were re-united with their long lost sister.

To Be Continued!

A/N- This was meant to be 12 Chapters long, but I decided to add some other stuff in so its going to be about 17 chapters now, including the epilogue :)

Thanks for reading!