How has he affected me?
My Heart: Torn. Ripped. Shredded. Striped. Broken. Stolen from its proper owner. Taken away from happiness. Joy. Love.
When he came it was like a glass of water for my parched soul. Like the most luminous light to brighten my dull life because the sun had failed to do so. His breath was like oxygen for my lungs, because the air was never good enough. His scent was needed every night, I inhaled it from miles away and ever since he came I could sense it from wherever, whenever, whatever.
This is the first times that his presence didn't touch me –not even in the farthest of anything. He was gone. Stolen. Blown away in the mediocre air that I never took in.
He is gone.
He is gone.
He is gone.
Is he gone?
Yes, he is because Leah Clearwater can never have anything that can ever bring anything nice.
That's fate for you.
My heart.
My Heart. It was pumping blood just days ago, it was alive and well. It struggled before. The wounds still fresh from the last time. But when he came they sealed forever. He was like a bandage for my bruises.
When he left my heart opened up a new wound this time over the old ones, this time even worse.
This time it was permanent. He was never coming back.
My Soul? What happened to that?
Oh yeah! It was split like a nuclear atom, used for energy. Instead when it split it didn't bring anything energetic or happy. I wasn't sharing it with anyone. It burned away.
I am not fully here. Because my soul is not fully here.
So how can I survive when my lifeline was cut?
I don't know.
Was it hope? Determination?
Is it possible that my love is never diminished? Was that enough to keep on striving?
Who cares. He isn't here.
The only thing that's keeping from killing myself is this stupid werewolf crap.
And that was no bluff. Not like the other times. Never was I serious enough to do it, but now I wouldn't hesitate.
Damn werewolf genes. I guess my mother can thank them.
What did he do to my mind?
Haha, that's a good one.
Lets just say my brain cells were dying by the second.
My body you ask?
I was relaxed and calm. It was like I was at a spa every day.
But now I was tense. Coiled as if ready to attack. Glaring at the ceiling practically waiting to jump and eat the dry wall. I was a savage and nothing would ever tame me.
But besides that, was I supposed to ache? Was my back supposed to be crooked, was it supposed to hurt?
Was he supposed to affect me physically?
I sighed as I laid my face down on the un-stained bleach white carpet that the Cullen's kept in tip-top condition.
I lifted my eyes just enough to see everyone of the pain stricken faces that seemed to be depressed with my depression.
Jacob seemed to be alone in his pain. Though I knew he shared it with me,
"Well" I started "Why are we just staying here? Let's go out and find them"
He fixed his eyes to me; his brown pupils were dilated to show fear, yet he still looked solemn.
"Yea" He agreed "Let's find
them"
"Lets" I nodded
I gulped loud. Yup, we were going to find them; we were going to be okay.
My joints were going to stretch out like I was the most flexible contortionist there is on the planet. My heart is going to be taken care of and bandaged back as my soul will sew back together. I would retrieve my intelligence again. I will be Leah.
Leah with Nahuel
I did something that I never did before in my life.
I prayed. Prayed that Nahuel will soon have me in his arms like before.
I prayed hard.
Hopefully enough.
Hope. That's all we have. And since its all that I have to treasure; I'll hold on to it.
Never letting go.
Even though my love did.
I will never.
Never
Never.
