Chapter Eleven: The Choice Was Mine, and Mine Completely
Azula sees seven Fire Nation ships. They are... expensive. Elite ships made for priority missions. It hits her like a punch in the gut; he must know. Father must know and now he is going to wipe her out. No... worse, far worse. He has no other viable heir so he is going to wipe everyone out and imprison her and her child. Years on this block of ice sounds unpleasant, but years imprisoned in a gilded cage under the brutality of Fire Lord Ozai sounds far worse.
Therefore, Azula goes running over a dune of snow. With one carefully timed breath, she presses two fingers together and cleaves a ship in half with a tongue of blue flame that blinds the Fire Nation soldiers and Water Tribe citizens alike. The ship burns in acrid smoke, plunging into the depths of the frigid water with soldiers on board.
Katara is taking out two assailants at a time, cracking ice around them and sending them to watery graves. Zuko and Mai are side by side, surrounded but staving them off. Azula's eyes are flickering from body to body, whether draped in red armor or blurred by blue parkas, searching for Ty Lee.
With a few blasts of blue flame, she slides down the snow, forming a superheated ball of fire that, when released, knocks back four soldiers poised to strike her. There is recognition in the faces of the soldiers when they see her, and subsequent confliction.
Azula takes advantage of the slightly lowered weapons and the charred bodies of her soldiers fall onto the ice, the snow stained with black and red. A strangled scream grabs her attention and she sees a man falling back, paralyzed. Ty Lee elbows the man behind her and he falls down onto the ice as well.
Former Fire Lord Azula runs to her soon-to-be fiancée and takes her by the hand.
"Come on!" Ty Lee tugs on her and runs towards the wall that has been decimated by projectile explosives.
Azula takes a deep breath and sees Katara, Mai and Zuko standing and trying to prevent any more soldiers from reaching the village.
She hesitates for a moment. Ty Lee runs right in and starts helping, but Azula stands still, frozen in the frigid pole. She makes a choice now for where her loyalties lie. With the Nation she loves and would do anything for, and the people who have done more for her and shown her more compassion than her own parents ever did.
Azula makes her choice. She runs forward and with five forms, takes out a platoon. Katara's eyes glitter with a silent smile as the sky is stained blue and the ice is stained black.
It is over quickly. Although the soldiers were among the best and the ships priceless, when the smoke clears, none of them are left standing. Azula counts five ships in the bay, abandoned and desolate now. Two waterbenders from the North Pole freeze them in the ice to keep them from drifting away.
But Azula only sank one. She shakes her head and glances around. And then it hits her like she is being stabbed. She screams, which is unusual for someone who has endured so much pain. She is grabbed by Katara of all people.
"What's wrong?" Katara asks, lifting Azula to her feet.
Azula doesn't reply, but Katara can tell. Blood drips onto the snow. Her cobalt eyes widen as she seizes the princess and takes her towards the village. Azula's lips move as if she wants to speak, but no sound comes out. She bites down on her lip, the pain agonistic and the idea of what could be happening terrifying.
"Thank you for saving my tribe," Katara says softly as she lowers Azula onto a bed in Kanna's home.
In the Fire Nation, Ozai is hoping his ships arrived. He sent the best of the best, even the waterbenders could not defeat that. Certainly not a fleet like he sent to the North Pole, which was... ill advised. But he will have an Avatar when his people return. He must.
Things are not going well for the former Fire Lord. He never did receive the same respect as his father, which visibly sickens him. But the people do not look kindly on a man who usurps the throne twice, regardless of his merits. He should accept that by now. He is titled the usurper by Azula's loyal followers he is trying to weed out.
His eyes fall on a portrait of he, his wife and his two children. Ursa is long gone, Zuko and Azula somewhere where his spies have not found them. He got rid of them all for few reasons.
What did Azula ever do? All she can do is talk. But the power of persuasion is... impressive. And not something Fire Lord Ozai would like to stand against. She could convince a man to kill his firstborn son, most likely. And that is why he had to be rid of her.
Isn't it a little... disturbing? Father, wife, son, daughter, all taken away because he...
"Fire Lord Ozai," and his thoughts are interrupted by a general. "Your next audience is ready for you."
The air smells like blood. It drips down her pale skin as he examines her closely. Princess Azula bites back tears as timid servants stem the bleeding. The blood comes from burns and there are blisters on her back. She is thirteen.
"I know it hurts, but you brought it on yourself," Ozai says, touching her face gently. "I'm sorry you got hurt, but you should know you could have avoided it."
Always passive tense with her punishments. He does not know why he never took credit for what he did to her. It was always her fault. Always avoidable.
Ozai stops looking at the picture of his missing family and goes to host his audience.
Many miles away, Azula screams. She is clutching at her abdomen as Kanna and Katara try to calm her.
"You both are going to make it," Kanna says, her rough voice now tender. Katara has gloves of water on, prepared to heal anything she can.
Princess Azula just saved the Southern Water Tribe. And Katara is not going to let she or her baby die. Not after that. Maybe she is a despicable person. But in this war, the war that Katara knows she is destined to end, she could use an ally like Azula.
Zuko was right.
"What's happening?" Azula shrieks for the thousandth time. Yet, she still gets no answer from the water peasants.
"Gran-Gran says you're going to be fine. Stop whining," Katara sighs and a little water drips from her perfect hold.
Zuko walks into Kanna's house. He does not squirm at the sight of Azula, nor does he blush; he looks dead serious.
"They took her."
"Who?" Ty Lee asks, standing up. She has nail marks all over her wrist and hands from Azula's talons.
"Mai," Zuko says, his tone defeated. Katara's hands of water drop to the floor with a loud splash. It is punctuated by Azula's scream of pain.
Katara walks outside with Zuko, leaving Kanna to care for Azula. They stand in the bitter wind, watching people rebuild what the Fire Nation destroyed. Bodies sinking in the sea, ships stripped for useful supplies and correspondence captured by Zuko in order to see what his father is up to.
"What do you mean they took Mai?" Katara breathes, raising an eyebrow. Zuko frowns and she realizes that it is true. Her heart sinks into her stomach.
"I mean she got captured. One ship got away," Zuko says, his eyes screaming but his face stoic. Katara's heart beats out of control and thrusts itself into her throat.
"We have to go after them," Katara says sharply, seizing Zuko by the shirt. He gently pries her hands away from him and she bites her lip to suppress tears. "We can't, can we?"
"She'll be okay, Katara. She knows the Fire Nation and she's smart and brave and I know that she'll be okay. Let's just worry about right now."
"And ending the war."
Zuko tries not to sigh. "Yes, and ending the war."
"You're clinging to a dead dream."
Azula and the fetus both survive, but when she makes it out, Mai is gone. A small part of Azula feels she must have gone willingly. When not around Katara and Zuko, Mai would talk about her unquenchable longing to return to the Fire Nation. Partially to help her mother and brother, and partially because she dislikes the South Pole.
It is suspicious to paranoid Azula; Mai is too strong to be defeated, even if the raid was well funded and staffed. She wanted to leave and so she took her chance, and the only thing that will keep her alive is the trade of information.
"Our days here are numbered," Azula murmurs to Ty Lee as Katara gives a speech to her tribe. It is fairly boring and about victory and hope. Azula would do better, although she admits Katara has a knack for public speaking.
"You have a plan?" Ty Lee asks softly as she is focused intently on getting snow out of her mitten. Azula bites back the urge to smack her hand away and make her stop looking like a moron.
"No. But Mai is going to sell us out," Azula says casually. Ty Lee frowns.
"I don't think that."
"You think she'll have a choice?" Azula breathes, thinking of the torture Mai would not endure. She would break under the pressure. Or under threats of her mother and brother being killed, as much as she claims to hate them.
Ty Lee is silent. She sets her mitten down next to her and examines her ruddy hands. Frown.
"It'll work out," Azula offers feebly, realizing she has clearly upset her girlfriend. "It always does."
"No." Pause. Ty Lee's eyes sparkle strangely. "Not always."
The next day, Azula wakes from nightmares about the child. She dreams about bleeding out on the throne as a monster rips its way out of her. Because it is a monster, and not the of her kind. It is an atrocity and Azula is facing her first round of self loathing for wanting to keep it and raise it.
"What are you going to name it?" Ty Lee asks as she is getting dressed. Azula does not move from their bed. "Go on."
"I don't want to name it until I have to," Azula says and Ty Lee takes a deep breath. She is hot and cold on levels that the acrobat has never witnessed. One moment she seems glad to be having this child, the next about to rip the fetus out of her body herself. She is exactly the same way about their relationship.
But the hot and cold ends, at least for the relationship of the two friends, when Azula drags Ty Lee to the mountains she trains on top of.
"These are really tall and ─ oo, wow that's pretty," Ty Lee says as Azula helps her to the top. They stand amongst the chilly wind. It whips through their hair, the snow nearly blinding them as all that can be seen is ocean and ice. "Why here?" Ty Lee asks as soon as her eyes adjust to the bright light. The sun is far more obscured close to the ground and the village.
"If you keep going straight from here you reach Fire Nation waters," Azula says with a small shrug. "I'm going to go back and get my throne. Someday."
"Mhm," is all Ty Lee can offer in response. Of course she wants to return to the Fire Nation. But every day it seems less likely to happen.
"But for right now, there's something I'd like to ask you," Azula says and Ty Lee's stomach twists. Here it is. Here is Azula's grand plan to massacre the Southern Water Tribe and steal the Avatar. She gives a plastic smile and hopes she is wrong.
"Yes, princess?" Ty Lee asks, her fingers clenched in anxiety.
Azula reaches into her pocket and withdraws a necklace that looks like Katara's. Except, it is made with worn red ribbon and a circle of steel instead of the Water Tribe coloration.
"What is it?" Ty Lee asks, taking it from Azula. "I mean, it's beautiful, I love it but─"
"It's a betrothal necklace. Kanna told me about them," Azula says and it takes Ty Lee a little too long to realize what she is saying.
"I guess no royal wedding," Ty Lee murmurs and Azula only stares at her. "Of course yes. Obviously. Yes."
"Good. I knew you would say that," Azula says calmly before being tackled. She yelps in surprise as she hits the soft snow.
"You're not just marrying me because you're pregnant are you?" Ty Lee asks as she has Azula pinned.
"Probably not." Azula shrugs. "What do my motivations matter anyway? It isn't as if you're going to do any better than me."
Ty Lee squints.
Some things never change.
Three weeks after the raid of the South Pole, Fire Lord Ozai is still getting reports. They vary and are scrambled, and finally, one of his top admirals has gathered the necessary information. One ship has returned, with survivors who all tell the same tale.
Finally.
"So, you're telling me you lost every ship but one?" asks the Fire Lord, raising an eyebrow.
Admiral Maboro stands before him, the only man high enough in rank to dare give the mission report. The raids of the South Pole were notorious for their successes. Every waterbender was eradicated during the time of Ozai's father. And, yet, somehow, the people of this insignificant tribe, savages, managed to obliterate the entire crews of seven ships.
"Yes," Admiral Maboro says, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "They had a waterbender. More than one. But one who was better than the rest."
"Yes...?" Ozai cannot imagine one waterbender is enough to take on seven ships.
"And four others. A girl who paralyzed five men before they could draw a sword, a girl who slit my lieutenant's throat and... that's it."
"That's it? Don't lie to me. Executable offense," Ozai says, trying not to laugh. The man looks very uncomfortable.
"And... the former prince and princess." Flames lick the ceiling and Admiral Maboro stumbles backwards like a man of his stature should not. "Princess Azula sheared a ship in half when she arrived. We were helpless."
Ozai does not know what to say.
"But we brought something back. Something I hope makes it up to you," Admiral Maboro stammers, his eyes glittering with futile hope.
"Did you find me an Avatar?" Ozai demands, his words a snarl. His fingers dig into the throne like no Fire Lord did. Even in Azula's spiral over her father's missing corpse, the advisors have never seen their leader so... unhinged.
"We found you something almost as interesting," Admiral Maboro says, gesturing for his men to enter. Fire Lord Ozai swallows; it must be something very worth his time if they do not have the heads of all the little Water Tribe children.
His eyes flash wide at what he sees. In filthy shackles is the former girlfriend of his good-for-nothing son. Mai. She looks unfazed by her imprisonment as Admiral Maboro pushes her onto her knees. She stumbles and curses slightly, but shows nothing on her face.
"And what can she do for me?" Ozai asks and Maboro makes a choking sound in the back of his throat. Mai smirks faintly.
"Well, I mean, I could tell you all you need to know about why your kids joined the Water Tribe. But, I mean, I think we know the answer already," Mai says and Ozai clenches his jaw. "It's not them; it's you."
"Leave her here. All of you out." He steps down from his throne, parting fire around him as he moves. Admiral Maboro and his men disappear as if they had never been there. "I always liked you, Mai. I apologize for what my daughter did to your family. She's calculated, yes, but never could stamp out her emotions entirely. They corrupted her, which is why I need to rule the nation."
"She's going to take the throne back," Mai says and Ozai is stunned momentarily. She does not strike him as... brave. "You made yourself the most powerful enemy you could imagine. And she's made some allies that outmatch all your armies. It's a real shame you didn't tell her you loved her enough when she was a kid because now she is going to─"
A foot collides with the side of Mai's face. She supposes she deserved it and could have just gotten herself killed, but she composes herself and sits back up. Her mouth tastes strongly of metal.
"But that's not going to happen," Ozai says, examining Mai closely. She shows him nothing, gives him nothing. "I think I've had a change of heart. I want my children to come home."
He turns and Mai is frozen like a statue.
"After all, family are the only ones you can trust."
Silence.
Mai thinks only about dead dreams in her captivity. She has not told them a word yet because information is the only thing that keeps her alive. The royal palace is her prison, as if being in warm sheets with a gilded en suite bathroom is going to make her more likely to talk than if she were in a rat infested prison.
The torturers and soldiers who drag her to a dungeon and try to make her talk are pathetic. The threaten her, burn her and attempt to hurt her. But her face does not move, not for one moment.
She does not know how many days have passed when she is seized by both arms and taken across the palace. Zuko's room, as if that will conjure memories. But Fire Lord Ozai is waiting for her, looking mildly impatient.
"I'm sure you're acquainted with my son's bedroom." He gestures for the guards to leave and they obey. Mai stands and does not move. There is nothing he can put her through that will make her talk.
"I'm not saying anything. You'll kill me as soon as I do," Mai says flatly, in the same voice she gave those torturing her with crude metal instruments.
"I'm here to make you an offer." He walks to her and she realizes how much smaller she is than him. Azula has a threatening presence, but she must have learned it from her father.
He flicks Mai's hair out of her pallid face, the locks scraping against her eyebrow and one eye. But she does not even blink. She will have to stare him down; she also learned a lot from her father and his seedy political career.
"They're my friends."
"You have a family too," Fire Lord Ozai says and Mai tenses. He touches her neck and feels her previously placid pulse start to race.
"What did you do to them?" Mai demands, a flicker of emotion for the first time. Ozai suppresses a smirk.
"Not worse than what Azula did," he says, still not removing his fingers from her neck, but slipping to gentle knuckles instead of the front of his hand. He likes to feel her heart in fits and starts. She was always too apathetic. "You give me the information I want, you work for me instead of my misguided children, and I won't harm your mother or your brother."
"Would you?" Mai asks and it seems to be an earnest question.
"A lot of people have been disappearing these days," Ozai says with a shrug.
Mai contemplates her actions. Azula, Zuko, Katara and Ty Lee won't fall easily. It is likely he will never get them until Azula comes for her throne. But her family is vulnerable.
She makes her choice.
"I'll do it. If you promise not to harm them," Mai breathes, her heart even faster now. Guilt mixed with adrenaline and fear.
"Working for me will not be unpleasant. Your family dying or being imprisoned would be much worse," Ozai says and Mai swallows.
"I said I would do it. I've always been loyal to the Fire Nation anyway." Her words are weak. She cannot justify it to herself. She just knows that her friends have survived worse.
His fingertips slip to her waist. They brush against her, his eyes flickering up and down her form, making her feel stripped bare. Azula can have the same gaze when she is reading people, but his is more sinister and definitely sexual. Mai does not move, knowing he will stop and have her dragged away again.
But his hand slides to her back, as she still does not even make a facial expression. He is almost impressed with Mai's passive defiance, a trait she learned as a child.
He presses her hips against his and decides that she won't be defiant much longer.
Three weeks after the raid of the South Pole, Azula has had a revelation. She climbs up the ice mountains again, though it is getting more difficult. Training alone is the only thing that clears her head.
Mai is gone and everything feels wrong. Katara keeps talking about somehow ending the war when they are all isolated on the South Pole without the slightest weapon to use against a dominion. Zuko seems to be settling for this place. Ty Lee is impossible to read and just keeps befriending people.
And Azula has decided she and her heir are going to have the throne.
She just hasn't exactly figured out what weapon she has to use against her father.
"I didn't realize I wanted this until I almost lost it. It's so... fucked up," Azula says, lying in her bed in her Water Tribe home. Ty Lee is attempting to brew tea and not doing a very good job. "Am I fucked up that I wasn't relieved that the baby was dying? What is wrong with me that I'm glad that it's okay? What is wrong with me that I saved these water peasants and risked myself and you and my child?"
Ty Lee grimaces. She does not know how to respond to Azula's questions because she does not have the answers.
"I'm glad you're okay. And I'm glad our baby is okay," Ty Lee offers, hoping it will abet Azula.
It does not, but the princess says no more.
Azula conjures lightning, feeling it reverberate through her body. It is fucked up of her to want this child. It serves her no greater purpose than to make her life more difficult. But the bond happened and there was nothing she could do. When she was bleeding her first thought was that it was good, but then she decided she wanted this.
It is something she did not intend. But something that happened and cannot be changed.
"I'm sixteen and I mean, the way it was conceived, I just..." Azula says as Ty Lee is trying to sleep. She still has not gotten over the fact that she did not want her baby to die before it was born.
"Just relax. Hormones. It's hormones," Ty Lee says and Azula settles for that explanation. "You're not really the maternal type, I know. But there are some things even you can't control."
"I want to destroy those things," Azula murmurs as Ty Lee kisses her on the lips.
"But soon you're going to be controlling an entire nation," Ty Lee says and Azula feels her gut twist.
Maybe she is clinging to a dead dream.
Fire Lord Ozai moves to Mai in the quiet night. Painfully quiet with a thousand stars blocked by the smog of the city. Mai looks out of the window, her body unmoving on top of her blankets. The summer heat permeates the room and makes her raven hair stick to her neck with sweat.
Mai hears Ozai open the door. And she does not resist, like she should. Like the girl who defied Azula more than once should.
His fingertips trail down her neck. She swallows but does not react to the uncomfortable sensation. He touches her with little vigor, sliding up her nightdress but not bothering to expend the energy to pull it off of her. She is not a statue like she tries to be; she trembles ever so slightly without noticing it. But he notices it.
Cold hands that are large compared to the body of the sixteen year old girl slip to her breasts. They give her goosebumps that are most certainly not of arousal. She is rather unfeeling and he is rather halfhearted. He doesn't linger on her body for long; he lost interest weeks ago. But he still does it, perhaps enjoys it. Her lack of response to digging nails into her thighs and pressing her breasts is clearly boring when she has the reaction of a corpse. Most of it is just to get his cock hard.
He slides her skirt up the rest of the way, slipping underwear over her ankles that he is forced to lift because she does not move them. They are both almost entirely clothed as he is on top of her.
The most she does is clench her jaw as he sheathes his cock in her and starts to thrust.
When Azula returns to the village, she goes to visit her brother. He is at Kanna's house and Korra is sitting on the floor, playing. The princess sits up on the dresser as her brother is looking frustrated while carving some sort of spear.
"Broadswords easier?" Azula asks teasingly. And he jumps, nearly cutting his finger off.
"You have to stop doing that. You can't just sneak up on people," Zuko says forcefully and Azula only shrugs, shoulders shaking with a small laugh.
"Hi," comes a voice and Azula glances around frantically for it. "Hi."
It is the little water baby. The one that consistently tugs on Azula and demands her attention. And now it is talking to her.
"She likes you so much. I don't understand why children and animals don't flee at the sight of you," Zuko says, before cursing at the mistake he made on his spear. "Maybe you should adopt her."
"You're kidding," Azula says, staring down the water baby. "I'm already having one child."
"Hi," Korra repeats. Azula sighs, and rubs her temples. "Hi, princess."
"We need to take action soon," Azula says and Zuko does not know what she means. "We have to find a way to get me the Fire Nation back. I mean, us the Fire Nation back."
"Wait until you have your kid. Then we're going to go get Mai. Somehow. But I really don't think we can invade the Fire Nation with four people," Zuko says, finally finishing the curve of the bone. He smiles, proud of himself.
"Well, Katara keeps going on and on about her plans. They all are terrible but to be honest, I don't have anything better. Going to Ba Sing Se is our best bet." Ba Sing Se is the dream that Azula and Katara are trying to revive. Mostly futilely.
"Surprising statement from you," Zuko remarks, setting down the spear. "Watch Korra; I'm going to go put this with the others in the defense tower."
"You can't just leave me with this water baby!" Azula snaps, but Zuko shrugs and is gone. She sighs; maybe it is practice for her child.
She steps down from the dresser and sits in front of the toddler. Can sit up herself, playing with ice sculptures as if they are toys.
"Hi, water baby," Azula says hesitantly. She does not know how to interact with children. "Um... want to see a trick?"
Azula holds up two fingers and writes her name in the air in smoke and flame. Korra seems impressed... or just is drooling... Azula cannot really tell.
And then the water baby waterbends. She melts her toy and makes tendrils of water that are nearly as good as Katara's. Azula squints at her, unsure of it.
"Well aren't you a little prodigy," Azula says slowly, watching her make waves and droplets in the air.
"Hi," is Korra's only reply. So, she can waterbend successfully at two, yet cannot make coherent sentences. Wonderful. Savages, Azula decides. "Wanna see a trick?" Korra slurs and Azula sighs.
"Just repeating what I say doesn't─" Azula's lips part in surprise, golden eyes gleaming and flashing.
The little water baby just bent fire.
